Thank you to the people who reviewed! I thought I shoujld kinda put in a disclaimer. I own nothing. I dont even own the idea for the story, cuz I got it from Helen Fielding in Bridget Jones' Diary. So don't sue. I own nothing at all!

January 27th

Number of thoughts about Severus: 103

Number of snogs: 4 (v.g.)

Number of snogs with Sevrus: 0 (v.bad)

Number of snogs with Ron: 4 (not that bad)

Number of snogs PRETENDING it was Severus: 4 (v.v.v. bad!)

Yes, yes, it's true, I snogged Ron. He's not Severus, but I must say he is a very very good kisser. You see, it all started this morning at breakfast. I was of course playing my usual staring games with Severus. No matter how many mornings we do this, yo uknow, stare, eyebrow arch, wink, turn away, repeat, it still surprises me, and it also makes me go all shivery. I feel electric and giddy, and positively high! Oh, such a thrill! It is very very exciting to have his dark mysterious eyes boring into my own, a hint of playfulness, a flash of flirtatiousness, the quick arch of the eyebrows, the cold, hard glare replaced with a fun smirk, a wink and then he is gone...

Anyway! It was Harry's fault. He turned around and said, very loudly, to Ron:

"When are you gonna just snog Hermione, mate?" he grinned at Ginny and then went back to eating breakfast. I dragged my eyes away from Severus and stared at Ron. He was redder than his hair. It was quite endearing actually.

He muttered something incoherent and then walked fast out of the hall. I could only guess that he had gone back to the common room. Now, I love Ron as my best friend, but I don't really have any kind of crush on him. Yes, I did, but that was before I started flirting with Severus (If it is flirting). But I was full of pent up energy! All this flirting and nothing to show for ut! A girl has needs you know. So there I was, fresh with the image of Severus in my mind (and he was looking particularly attractive today... Black really is his colour...) and safe in the knowledge that Ron was up for a good snog.

It was perfect. So I followed him to the common room and spent about an hour snogging him. Of course to me it wasn't really Ron. It was Severus. Isn't that terrible? Snogging smoeone and pretending it's someone else! I am so ashamed! But it was like I was posessed. But once we were done, I felt very rightly sorry.

But it's a win win situation. I get out some snogging frustration, Ron gets a good snog with me, who he apparently has been lusting after for a very long time, everyones happy!

23.56

I am a no good dirty rotten scoundrel, leading on poor boys with my vixenish ways.

23.59

Will eschew Ron-snoggage with a firm hand.

23.59 and a half

Although that does leave me snogless. NO! Must be a good girl Hermione, no more Ron snogging!

February 2nd

Number of thoughts about Severus: 96

Number of "Teen Witch Weekly" back issues read in hope of finding advice on "How To Make Your Potions Teachjer Fall In Love With You": 62 (pitiful)

Number of thoughts about relapsing and snogging best friend and pretending it is Potions Master: 427 (v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. bad)

Number of times have actually relapsed and snogged best friend and pretended it to be potions master: 0 (v.v.v.v.v.v. good)

Number of disturbing encounters with Draco Malfoy: 14 (Um... scary?)

So far, am suceeding in eschewing Ron. At first he seemed hurt, but now he seems fine. Might have something to do with Ginny's ravenclaw friend, Maria, who has taken an interest in him. I am pleased, it means no more relapsing for me!

Now it seems that Draco Malfoy has started to stalk me. I actually had to lock him in a broom closet to escape! He keeps trying to corner me and snog me. But it is getting harder to resist. I mean his silver eyes do somehting to a girl... Ugh! I really need Snape to hurry up and come ask me out. Or maybe just snog me, whatever. But I need him so bad, I am actually considering snogging Draco Malfoy! He seems to be on drugs lately, all nice and "snog-me-Granger", rather than "filthy-little-mudblood".

17.58

Ok, here's what I'll do: Quick snog with Malfoy to make Snape jealous, then he will definitely wake up and realise I will soon be unavailable and snog me senseless. Who knows, maybe even a good shag is in order. So must perfect my glaciation and begin to aim it at Severus. It pains me to do so, but it will work out well in the end... I hope.

18.03

Pre-seduction nerves. I do not want to have to snog Malfoy, for God's sake, but it could be worse. An dif it leads me to my love, then it'll all be ok in the end.

18.05

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

February 14th

No. of Valentines received: 4 (v.v.v.v. good)

No. of said Valentines received from Malfoy: 2 (ok, creepy, but helpful to plan)

No. of said Valentines received from Dobby: 1 (Disturbing much? But very sweet)

No. of said Valentines received from "Your staring partner": 1

My staring partner? That can only mean Severus! Oh joy! Happiness unbounded! My life has worth! Maybe I should just go up to him and snog him, you know, let him know that I'm open to the idea of a relationship with him...

13.13

No no, Hermione, glaciation, the plan... Malfoy...

01.47

Oh bloody hell! Have sucessfully seduced Malfoy (not that it was very hard), but now am feeling extremely regretful! I tell you, it took me two hours to just get my hair right, I needed to look perfect. And I must say I did.

Anyway, entered the Great Hall looking fabulous in my new dress robes. My eyes automatically flickered to the staff table, to Severus. He looked me up and down, his mouth slightly agape. The corners of his mought twitched up and he raised both eyebrows in what I hope to be approval. I merely smirked back then looked around for Malfoy. When I was sure he wasn't looking I looked back to see he looked a little taken aback and confused! And also a tad hurt?

Aha! Success!

Anyway, I found Malfoy, or should I say he found me, and accepted his offer of a dance. I made sure we danced right up in front of the staff table and then I did it, when I was sure he was watching. I snogged Malfoy.

He was an awful kisser, but it was worth the look on Severus' face. I think my plan is working you know. He looked, for the first time in my memory, hurt. I caught his eye, but he promptly looked away, his nose slightly tilted back.

Oh dear. Now it was I who was being treated to glaciation and eschewing.

02.13

Bugger. I think I'm going to leave now and go to bed. After several rejections of "just one more dance" you'd think Malfoy would get the message. Anyway, this dance was supposed to end at one, so McGonnigal said. But then again, she looks like she's, er, enjoying herself, with Flitwick. Disturbing to see her crouch down to snog him, but you can't help but think it sweet...

02.21

Right that's it! I'm leaving!

03.00

Argh! Success! I think... Was just approaching the staircase when...

"Miss Granger," called the silky voice I knew too well.

"Sev... Professor Snape," I turned. Why was he talking to me, I thought he was eschewing me?

"I just thought you should know, you dropped this," he said, holding out the clip I had had in one side of my hair. I took a step toward him, my hand held out. The corridor was empty except for us. He took my outstretched hand and pulled me close to him. I could smell a light scent of aftershave, I could see a scar right below his hairline, I could feel his (minty fresh) breath on my cheek.

"You know, your hair looks better curly, Hermione," he whispered right in my ear, tickling me slightly. He brushed my cheek with his lips, pressed my hair clip into my palm, then turned and walked straight back into the Great Hall.

What was that all about? It did happen, right? I wouldn't imagine something like that, right? No, of course not, my fantasies always include more than a kiss on the cheek. It definitely happened, anyway, I am not deranged!

03.14

Bloody men and their mysterious ways!

A good bath, lots of chocolate and candles and a good daydream are the cure for anything (Although, nothing bad has happened, really, it was rather good... I just hate the confusion I am feeling).

04.00

Oh dear. Just had THE ultimate daydream! Severus approaching me under inexplicable mystletoe in his office.

"Hermione, you are the most delicious looking being on this planet, you know that?" he said grabbing my waist and pressing it against his own.

"Oh, take me now Severus!" I cried, then I lunged forward and kissed him so passionately. He pushed me down onto his desk and began to explore me with his hands. He then proceeded to take of his shirt and then my own, then he moved lower until...

Bad girl, very bad Hermione!

04.15

Still, most amazing daydream ever. Am still feeling very flushed and exhilirated.

04.27

And Severus is extremely sexy without a shirt... in my head at least, but I am sure it's true!

04.30

I really should go to sleep. But still, most people are still at the dance. I have decided to continue with the plan. Will continue to use Draco, until he annoys me too much. Then perhaps Ron will be willing, although he was very very involved with that Maria girl tonight. Still, I couldn't help but notice his longing stares at me too! Not that I'm vain...

Argh, I am so horrible! Using people to get the one I want! Still, all is fair in love and war... Especially when it involves someone as annoyingly perfect as Severus Snape...

Now must sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...