Wow! I can't believe I am getting such positive reviews, thank you so much! It really makes me determined to continue, so thank you! Hope you enjoy! Oh and I own nothing!
April 14h
No. of invites to Easter Dance received from 3rd year girl: 1 (What on Earth was she thinking? For one, am 7th year, and also, not lesbian. I already tried, it's not worth it!)
No. of times Ron has laughed since Lesbian 3rd year incedent: 52
No. of times have thumped Ron: 76 (v. satisfying)
Oh dear. In fit of madness have impulse bought the most hideous dress ever known to man. For one thing I do not ever wear dresses, for another, this looks like it's part carpet, part curtains and part dead animal of sorts. Possibly the Giant Squid... Anyway, bought it under influence of 27 bottles of butterbeer. Not very smart. So 22 galleons down the drain. Sigh. Still, could always sell as aniumal tray lining.
Actually not a bad business move.
April 16th
No. of dresses sold: 1
No. of galleons earned for dress that cost 22 galleons to buy: 3
No. of galleons I have lost: 19
Convinced Neville to buy dress to cut up and use for Trevor's... cage? What do toads sleep in anyway? I think he bought it out of pity. I looked rather mad really. I hadn't even tried to tame my hair, had last nights old mascara around my eyes, which were also rather red, and also slightly encrusted drool on the corner of my mouth.
How attractive.
April 17th
Total panic per centage: 97.5
Units of pain out of ten after eyebrow pluckage: 4,000 (Yes, I'm aware that's not out of ten, that is the humourosity and exaggeration of my pain) (Just shut up, my eyes hurt.)
No. of boyfriends: Still 1, inducing calming effect.
Have started to panic about state of, er, beauty of self. Went into overdrive by plucking eyebrows whilst using "Dr. Melrose's Magical Teeth Whitening Strips" (My parents wouldn't be to happy about the idea of teeth and magic). Then waxed legs (ouch, ouch, ouch) and scrutinised outfit again. Decided it was still perfect, as it still screamed: mature-inner-poised-glaciated-ice-queen-with-sincere-warm-heart-that-is-only-given-to-those-who-deserve-it-and-also-smart-and-pleasant-talker-to in my opinion.
And that's what matters most.
Right?
Anyway, am now searching for my Sleak-eazy potion, which seems to have disappeared of face of Earth.
22.37
Fuck, fuck, fuck, where is it?
23.58
Ah, found it! Ok, will leave it on bed side table so I don't lose it again tomorrow. Now, must get beauty sleep wearing a cooling anti-puffy-eye face mask thingy whilst I sleep.
04.26
Woke up in panic after nightmare in which Ron turned into giant marshmallow and ate Professor Snape. Argh. Also, when awoke forget about face mask and thought I had gone blind.
Quite scary really.
April 18th/19th
No. of romantic gestures have received at Easter party: 3
No. of boyfriends: Either 2 or 0, still not sure
No. of plans long since jumped out window, got in car and drove at speed for Mexico, leaving trail of dust in wake: 1 (Original plan to ensnare Severus. also, only plan I had)
No. of rants after 63 butterbeers at party: 3 to self, and another one possibly coming in this diary entry.
It is 6am, so I suppose it is really the 19th, but I just climbed into bed and am too excited to sleep.
Night began either well, or terrible, depending on which way you look at it. 3rd year girl I had rejected performed romantic gesture no. one. I had just entered the Great Hall looking fabulous, and feeling great on Ron's arm, when she bobbed up in front of us, wearing a sombrero (sp) and holding a mini-guitar of sorts.
Oh dear.
She procedeeded to serenade me. In the Great Hall. In front of almost entire population of staff and students of Hogwarts. In front of Severus. Fan-bloody-tastic, you'll agree. I looked around in mortification and caught Severus' eye. He looked straight at me and seemed to be tryiing not to laugh. His mouth was twitching most insanely. I felt my face burn and my eyes were blazing, I could tell.
Once the girl was done, I muttered something along the lines of thank you, then pushed past her to find a seat with Ron. As to be expected after lesbian-slash-Mexican-type serenade I was not too hopeful for tonights goings on.
Oh life's little surprises.
After the feast, I went for a walk about the Rose garden that had been charmed in for tonights dance. This was when I received Romantic Gesture No. 2.
We sat on a bench next to the ice sculpture of the cherubs (Now really, an ice sculpture at Easter? Of cherubs, no less? What were they thinking!) and Ron turned to me all serious.
"Hermione," he said, looking at his hands in his lap, "I know we haven't been dating very long, but I have known you for seven years, so it is appropriate for me to say this and to feel this. Well, I hope so, anyway!" He blushed, then got down on his knees in front of me. Was gripped by a fear of impending marriage proposal. I'm only 17, and also, in-love-but-also-denying-it-to-self with the Potions Master. Could not and would not get married or engaged at such a tender place in my life. All I wanted was a nice bloke to snog, shag and chat with. I'm a hopeless romantic, I swear!
Anyway, was not actually a marriage proposal, thank Heavens.
"Hermione, I love you," he said and then he reached up and magiced a rose out from behind my ear. How sweet! However effect was ruined when thorn got caught in my newly sleak straight hair and caused Ron to pull it out with also half my hair and crash backwards into cherub ice sculpture. It smashed, of course, and upon Ron's attempt to fix it, it blew up and caused ice-cherub-inferno. Soon, entire school was outside watching the burning ice (How does that work anyway? How can ice burn?)
Anyway, next thing I knew I was just part of a crowd. Then I felt someone grip my arm.
"What do you say we get out of here?" he said suggestively, his breath tickling the back of my neck. I nodded and he took my hand, leading me out of the courtyard, through the Great Hall and down to his quarters in the dungeons. My heart was racing at this point. What could possibly be about to happen?
Oooh, I wonder?
He wasted no time in telling me he had made a mistake, he thought he could forget me, but he couldn't bare to see me with "That twat Ron". I attempted to defend Ron. He was, if nothing, my best friend, even if I truthfully had no romantic interest in him.
"Now, wait a second, Ron isn't a twa-" he cut me off with his mouth covering mine. It was fire driven and powerful, his kiss. I simply melted into him. He lifted my vest off, then pulled his own shirt off, to reveal, I am very pleased, chest twice as sexy as in my dream.
He then... well, I'm sure you can imagine what happened next!
And thus concludes romantic gesture no. 3. Most amazing night ever! Am on post shag high! You couldn't pull me down with a lead weight!
06.27
Also, as I was leaving to return to my dorms he said:
"Ok, maybe we should see each other, but keep it quiet right? I don't want to get sacked!" He then snogged me for about seven minutes straight and groped my arse as I was leaving the dungeons.
Ooh-er!
06.30
Now must break up with Ron. Perhaps will tell him am secretly a lesbian...
Could work and also lead to highly amusing story to tell at parties! "Oh yes, Hermione broke up with me and told me she was a lesbian as an excuse! Of course it was really because she was in love with Severus Snape, a professor of hers twice her age! What a hoot!"
It could be the speech he makes at my wedding!
06.34
Hurrah!