The Problem With Secrets
Author: Amy (starbuckfaerie21)
Summary: Everyone else has written a post-finale fic so I thought I'd give it a go.
Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed my other fic "One of Their Own." I appeciate all the positive feedback. For those of you that want me to continue with that fic,it was meant to be a one-shot but I hope you like this one just as much or more!
Enjoy and please review!
Spoilers: Up to and including "Who's Zooming Who?" (the finale)
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine but I wish Patrick Dempsey was!
Pairing: Derek/Meredith
And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore.
Meredith walked down the stairs of Seattle Grace feeling equal parts exhausted and relieved. She'd come clean to Derek about her mother and it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She'd been carrying this secret with her for so long that without it she felt like something was missing.
Until she saw Derek waiting for her.
He was seated in one of the chairs in the lobby and when she entered his field of vision with a sigh, he looked up from his laptop .
"Long day."
"Yeah," she replied softly as she came toward him with her bag in one hand and her coat in the other.
He tucked his newspaper and his laptop into his bag. "Somewhere out there is a steak with your name on it, and maybe a bottle of wine."
"This is why I keep you around." Meredith said with a slight smile.
Derek looked at Meredith, "So we need to talk..."
"Wine first, talk later."
"Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" Derek asked with a smile as he got to his feet.
Meredith couldn't help but laugh.
"I think I like this rules thing," She said putting on her coat.
"Me too," Derek agreed gently reaching out to pull Meredith's hair from beneath her coat and straightening her collar.
Derek slipped into his coat and turned around.
That was the moment when everything started to fall apart.
His face contorted into an expression of pure shock, as he spotted a brunette wearing too much red lipstick and a fur coat coming toward them.
"Meredith, I'm so sorry."
The problem with secrets is,
"Addison, what are you doing here?"
Derek's voice was laced with contempt. Meredith found herself standing between Derek and Addison like a referee.
Even when you think you're in control, you're not.
"Well, you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls."
She turned from Derek to Meredith, with an outstretched hand, "Hi, I'm Addison Shepard."
"Shepard?" Meredith repeated uncertainly.
I couldn't have heard her correctly. She couldn't have just said...
"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."
Meredith looked at Derek, as though she'd been wounded. Her eyes started to tear up.
She told herself she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give either one of them the satisfaction. Instead she turned and ran out of the hospital.
"Meredith, wait...Meredith..." She heard Derek calling out to her but she didn't stop running and by the time she reached her car the tears were flowing down her cheeks.
One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide, we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company.
Meanwhile inside the hospital Derek and Addison were in the midst of a confrontation.
"You really are a cold-hearted bitch aren't you, Addison?"
"Derek, is that any way to treat your wife?" She asked with false sweetness.
"Soon to be ex-wife. I hope you've come give me the signed divorce papers."
"Actually, Dr. Webber brought me in as a consulting physician so it seems we'll be working together for a while."
Derek sighed exasperated, " Don't take this as an opportunity to worm your way back into my life. I stopped loving you the moment I found you in bed with my best friend. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and clean up yet another mess that you've made of my life."
By the time he made it to the parking lot Meredith's car was gone.
"Damn it!" Derek muttered under his breath as he got into his car and drove toward Meredith's house.
Meredith couldn't go home. George and Izzie had without a doubt already heard the news about Derek's wife. She knew they meant well but she couldn't face them right now.
Derek's wife! How could I have been so stupid? After I confided in him about my mother.
She kept driving without thinking about where she was going. In need of a distraction, Meredith fiddled with the radio.
Without warning Train in Vain by The Clash burst through the speakers.
You didn't stand by me,
No, not at all,
You didn't stand by me no way,
Some things you can't explain away,
And the heartache is with me to this day.
Derek's words reverberated through her memory, " My mother's maiden name, Maloney, I have four sisters, I have nine nieces, five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt Scotch, and occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly-fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Favorite novel, The Sun Also Rises..."
That should have been a clue. Hemingway was a womanizing sonofabitch too,she thought.
She killed the engine at the end of some stranger's driveway and cried as the song turned into a commercial.
"Favorite band, The Clash..."
Derek sat in his trailer with a glass of single-malt Scotch in one hand and his cell phone in the other.
He waited as Meredith's voicemail picked up, "Hi, this is Meredith. Leave a message."
"Meredith, it's me. I've been to the house and Izzy and George said they haven't seen you all night. Call me so we can talk, or at least let me know where you are, and if you're all right. I'm sorry..."
Before he could continue there was a beep signaling the end of the message.
Downing the rest of his drink in one gulp Derek went outside to get some air. Tonight would be the first nigt in a long time that he'd been sleeping without Meredith.
I should have told her the truth.
With a sigh, he got to his feet and was about to go back inside, when he spotted a parked car in the distance.
"Who the hell?" he wondered aloud as he started walking toward the vehicle. The closer he got to the car the more familar it seemed.
Suddenly he realized that the car belonged to Meredith. He quickened his pace, hoping that she was all right.
He approached the car and looked through the passenger side window. He saw Meredith sitting rather uncomfortably in the driver's seat fast asleep. He tried to open the passenger door.
Of course it's locked, you idiot.
He wrapped his knuckles gently on the window glass. "Meredith,"
Derek saw her shift in her sleep but she didn't wake.
He knocked on the glass again, "Meredith,"
She couldn't remember falling asleep but in a dream she thought she heard his voice.
"Meredith...Meredith."
No it wasn't a dream. It was Derek's voice.
She opened her eyes and the events of the day came rushing.
I told Derek about my mother. His wife showed up at the hospital. I drove away trying not to cry. His favorite band was on the radio. I fell asleep.
Meredith yawned and tried to straighten the wrinkles out of her clothes before she got out to face Derek. There was a kink in her neck from sleeping in the car.
As she opened the door he sighed with relief. "Meredith, we need to talk."
"I think you said the same thing last night before your wife showed up."
"Meredith, she's not my wife...We're not married..."
"Yeah, well whatever it was that we were doing. We're not either anymore."
She moved to get back in the car but he reached out to stop her.
"Meredith please hear me out."
She gave a defeated sigh. "Talk fast."
"Yes Addison and I were married. We met in med school. She had an affair with my best friend. I filed for divorce and moved from Manhattan to Seattle to get away from her. She refuses to sign the divorce papers. She's been calling me for days but I ignored her. I had no idea she was going to show up at the hospital last night! Apparently Webber called her in on a case so not only is she trying to destroy my relationship with you but she's screwing with my career here too."
She turned her back to him frustrated, "You should have told me Derek."
He took a few steps closer until he stood right behind her.
He put a hand on her shoulder and to his surprise she didn't pull away.
"I know, I should have Meredith but everything was so terrific between us. I didn't want to risk that over some ridiculous mistake I made in the past."
Meredith whirled around and started pounding on his chest with her tiny ineffectual fists.
Derek looked into her eyes and saw that they were red and swollen from hours of crying and he regretted the fact that he'd caused her pain.
"I confided in you, Derek. I trusted you!"
"Do you really think I'd be sleeping with you if I didn't feel the same way?"
"Quite frankly Derek, All I know is that tomorrow I'll not only be the intern sleeping with the attending, as if that wasn't bad enough, but I'll be the intern sleeping with the married attending."
"And what about me, Meredith? Tomorrow morning I'll probably have to consult and scrub in on a surgery with my ex-wife who I despise, and just to get under my skin she'll probably ask you to assist. How do you think that makes me feel?"
So that's it, That's all you're going to learn for now. The rest you're just...just gonna have to take on faith.
For a moment there was only silence between them.
Meredith was the first to speak. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make this about me. It's just, one minute we're making rules and the next minute your wife walks in and introduces herself to me. I didn't know what the hell was going on and I went from hurt to angry. I skipped right past sympathetic."
"I'm sorry you had to find out that way. If I could take it back, I would. You think we could give it another shot?"
Meredith smiled, "No more secrets?"
"No more secrets." Derek answered with a smile.
"And your ex-wife will sign the papers?"
"Oh, she'll sign, I'm not going through this again."
As Meredith leaned in to kiss him, Derek put his hand to the back of her neck.
"Does it hurt?" He asked as he rubbed it gently.
"Not anymore." She answered.
"You want to come in? I'll have to take a rain-check on that steak but I just might have that bottle of wine I promised."
Meredith reached for his hand and they walked into the trailer together.
And once in a while, people may even take your breath away.
Finis