May 11th
No. of explanations received: 1
No. of shags in one night: 3 (Last night)
No. of times have hummed bridal march to self: 47 (Dum dum da-dum, dum dum da-dum!) Ok, 48!
Aha! Success! Have never been more happy in all my life! It began yesterday with that awful detention with Severus. Was actually not so terrible, as you will see! Went down to dungeons at seven o'clock, as instructed and awaited my doom.
"Ah, Hermione," he greeted, looking rather pleased to see me. Smug bastard, was my first thought.
"Professor Snape," I mumbled to my feet. He stood up and came over to me, then put his arms around me leaning down as though to kiss me. Woah! Wait a minute, what happened to the future Mrs. Severus Snape? I pushed him away and he looked rather taken aback.
"What do you think you're doing, Professor?" I snapped.
"But... Hermione, why? What's wrong?" he asked. I exploded.
"What's wrong? What's - WHAT'S WRONG?" I screamed! "I'll tell you what, first you shag me and then not so much as a little note or wink! You led me on then practically ignored me! And then your beautiful fiancé turns up in the middle of dinner! Thus, I am made into desperate fat cow who deserves to be shot, cooked and served on a bun with a side order of fries! What are you trying to do here? I mean, would it have been so hard to say "Look, Hermione, sorry for shagging you, but I think we shouldn't have any relationship at all" rather than "Let's see each other on the sly" it's cruel and you toyed with my emotions, then because you were to cowardly to end things with me you got your unusually attractive fiancé to appear in front of - STOP LAUGHING!"
I have never been so mad in all my life!
"Hermione, Hermione, calm down," he spluttered, trying not to laugh, "She's not my fiancé! She's my cousin!"
Oh dear. Have inadvertently accused Severus of incestuous behaviour.
"What? Oh. Okay, I'll just... But that doesn't explain why you didn't say a single word to me after shagging me!" I said indignantly! Aha! Let's see him worm his way out of this one.
"Well, I actually sent you two owls, but it appears you never received them?" he looked at me questioningly. Who on Earth could have stolen my owls?
"Oh no! I never got any owls! Oh... You must think I am a right fool! Coming down here and shouting my mouth off! Oh, well, I am sorry, and I think it best I -" he cut me off with a kiss so powerful and passionate and full of desire.
Hurrah! Actually have managed to bag sexy, older, mature, funny, smart boyfriend. Inner poise really pays off!
Oh, bugger! I think I woke him with my quill-scratching... Oooh-er, this is very very interesti-
22.46
He woke up, we shagged and then I couldn't delay my return to Gryffindor Tower anymore. It was already approaching seven a.m. when I last wrote. Then went to classes with cheery smile all day.
Didn't even complain when was asked for homework help by Harry and Ron.
22.52
Truly am a new woman with amazing boyfriend, amazing friends and an amazing life. Nothing could spoil my mood!
23.04
Oh fuck! N.E.W.Ts in ten days and I haven't studied! Bugger, bugger, bugger!
May 14th
No. of subjects studied thoroughly: 2 (v.g)
No. of subjects re-studied of the two: 2 (v.v.g!)
No. of late night snogging sessions with Severus under pretence of detention: 2 in two days (v.v.v.v.g!)
Am back to old self in fashion of wonder woman (no, am not considering lesbianism again!). Have excellent boyfriend who snog every night! Have studied 2 subjects and have one week to study rest - excellent. Am young, attractive, have inner poise, have managed to bag boyfriend who I love and who seems to have a certain fondness for me, if anything!
Tra la la, fah la la!
23.56
Why? Why on Earth must Ginny's answer to anything - moping, happiness, studying, a broken nail - be alcohol and getting pissed? She's only 16 and already a budding alcoholic!
Alright, maybe I'll have one drink...
02.46
He he he he, am very very tipshy and merry! Hic! I love Sheverush Shnape! In fact I'm going to shend him an owl, shaying how mush I love him! Hic!
Dear Severus,
You are most georgeous and amazing, I am enthralled by your sexiness! Also, you are an excellent snogger!
I love you and your body and your brain and your eyes and your snoggworthiness! You are quite literally delicious!
When I think of you I feel like jumping in a pool of chocolate so you can lick me clean.
You are my one and only giant love machine, you sexy beast, you!
I think I'm a little bit drunk, but I don't care! I feel like goin got the top of the Astronomy Tower and singing to the world all about little ol' you, because you are like a cuddle bunny.
When I next see you I will bring you a pear.
Love,
Hermione
May 15th
No. of headaches: 1 (Feels like 7, but have not got 7 heads)
No. of times have given out to Ginny for bringing up alcohol: 4
Ugh, will never drink again.
Oh fuck. What the hell is in that last entry? Dear Severus... Am pear? A fucking pear? Tell me I didn't send this, pleeeeeaaasse!
22.42
Just got back from Severus' dungeon. Indeed, I sent the letter. He assures me that he knows I was drunk and he does not expect a pear. However will never get over the "cuddle bunny" reference and insists I call him that at least once a day.
22.46
I hate him.
22.51
But I love him really... My little cuddle bunny.