Frosted Flakes and Tutus. With Glitter.

Inspiration: The site administrator at my favorite Harry Potter RP (Lily Evans). If you like the Marauder era and can make well-written posts go to this site address: http/lilymecrazy. I own nothing, not even the tutu. That belongs to my sister. Everything else is just a disfigured imitation of J.K. Rowling's works.

Summary: Draco is obsessed with cereal, Harry must arrest him. Yadda, yadda.

Harry Potter crept up behind the younger Malfoy in a very creepy way. He had a shiny, colorful badge attached to his shirt that stated he was a trainee in the Department for the Investigations of Cereal Theft. You see, Draco Malfoy was a wanted man; he had stolen the world's supply of frosted flakes. The poor boy had a serious addiction that had no cure because Malfoy's an idiot and the author doesn't want him to have a cure. Anyways, Harry crept up on Malfoy and yelled, "I've come to get you!" because, let's face it folks, the kid's never been one for subtlety.

"Yes, Frosted Flakes?" said Malfoy with a happy, hopeful expression. When he saw who had really called him, his face turned into a scowl rendered pointless by the first reaction. "Oh, what do you want, Potter? Going to hurt me are you?"

Harry suddenly had a fabulous idea. "No. I have some frosted flakes."

"Really?" asked Malfoy as a dreamy bliss spread across his pointy not-Tom-Felton face.

Nodding Harry replied, "Yes. They're . . . they're in that cage."

"I can't see them" said Malfoy suspiciously.

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed in mock exasperation. "That's because I've thrown my Invisibility Cloak over them. I can't have them stolen by Voldemort now can I? Everybody knows he has an addiction; a bowl of delicious frosted flakes after every evil scheming session."

Suddenly, because the author rules all, the spirit of Lily Potter zoomed up to the pair (really zoomed, like a light saber in battle). She smiled sweetly and said, "Hello my darling son. I cannot stay long, but there is some vital information I must give to you." She took a deep breath and continued. "Applejacks are better than frosted flakes."

Draco Malfoy twitched and fell over screaming in pain. "Nyuuu! It's not true!" He crawled over and clutched at Lily's robes. "Tell me it's not true."

"It is true. Now get off me." Lightning from a cloud or something stuck Malfoy and lights flashed before his eyes as his hair went toaster-style.

He fell back, staring at the lights behind his eyelids. "Ooooh. Purdy."

Just then the spirit of James Potter popped up, or out of wherever he was, or maybe he was there all along but just invisible. In any case, he seized Lily and yelled, "Mine! Only I may call down the lightning wrath of my Lilykins!" Lily giggled and they both poofed away.

Harry just smacked himself in the head. "Ow! I mean . . . those are my bloodlines? How did I become so great?" he said in wonder.

Picking himself up off the ground, Draco then vanished away his helpful clone. "Aren't you, you know, happy about seeing them?"

"Psh! They do that all the time. It's bloody annoying if you ask me, Draco." Harry suddenly looked like he had been slapped in the face. "Why did I call you Draco? Kaythara!"

Draco starts channeling the author's spirit after being slapped in the face by the author's trippy powers. "Eh?"

"You're not turning into an H/D fan are you?" asked Harry, looking terrified.

Draco/Kaythara looked shocked and offended. He/she/they said "Definitely not! Draco is just an awesome name is all so you'll be using it, k? K!"

Draco swirled round and round and, when he came to a stop, was revealed to be in a fluffy pink tutu. With glitter. Back to his non-author-possessed self, he smirked. "See? It is a cool name!"

Harry just rolled his eyes and said, "Well anyway, Draco, get in the cage!"

"What cage?"

"The cage this crappy fic started out with. You know, the one with frosted flakes."

"Oh yeah! Mmmm, frosted flakes." Draco grinned dreamily and started to drool Homer-style.

"Oh screw it!" yelled Harry in exasperation. He raised his foot, kicked Draco into the temporarily forgotten cage with big combat boots and locked the door.

Draco pouted and plucked at his pretty pink tutu. With glitter. "You're mean. Besides, frosted flakes are like so five minutes ago. Like chya."

Harry simply shook his head at Draco's new attitude and mumbled something about bored authors. The sky flashed menacingly and a vision of horror waltzed its way into Harry's brain (A/N: vision may show up in a later chapter). "AAH! Okay, I love you Kaythara! That time we had in the closet was special."

Pausing in his gazing lovingly at a mirror, Draco glared at Harry. "Special my butt! You stole my Happy Bunny chapstick, weirdo. I'm going to leave a huffy silence now." When the author left this time even after not clearly showing up again, the blond-haired boy had an assortment of barrettes and a box of Trix. "Yay!"

To meet another request of this chapter, Draco suddenly forgot about the Orlando Bloom Barbie doll he was singing too. A shifty, Wormtail-like expression crossed his pale, pointed not-Tom-Felton features. When Harry looked round (having turned around to gag into a bush after the girly doll showed up in the first place), Draco had turned into a ferret! OMG never saw that coming! Neither did Harry because his glasses had fallen off in the gagging fit. Draco squirmed through the bars of the cage, unfortunately leaving behind his fluffy pink tutu. With glitter. Then, more suddenly than anything that had yet happened, the author lost her motivation! Oh no! Harry screamed in anguish as the ferret bit his foot and bounded away squeaking like only a crazy ferret can. He snatched up the tutu and gazed at the chapstick he had stolen from the author. "Oh I shall catch him. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in any fic relating to this one. But someday I will . . . I will . . . do something with these items and taunt Malf-Draco."

The end. With glitter.