Susannah's Fuego

AN: A small mini-fic related to the not-posted-yet fanfic 'The Legend of Sharlimae' (also may be 'Torero') by Lluvia (Sharlimae) and Isadora (SaGe FaE) . . . sort of a sister-fic. Set around mid-haunted-ish –when Jesse is moving out and Suze still doesn't know he loves her – and AU.

Summary: AU. Mid-haunted-ish. Jesse is moving out and Susannah's secret is forcing her to leave Carmel. Can the unknowing and innocent couple speak their love for each other? Or will Susannah leave and Jesse move on . . . forever?

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters Jesse de Silva, Susannah Simon, Paul Slater and Father Dominic or any other reference to the Mediator books. Susannah's personality reflects that of Shardae in my own book when she has to leave Michael, so it belongs to me. Sharlimae, Kaeo and anything else you don't know or understand also belongs to me.

Other: Enjoy. That is all I ask. And, perhaps, review.

I stumbled out of Father Dominic's office, tears rolling down my cheeks and my heart feeling as if someone had just stabbed the knife of sadness in my heart, the one that I have always had, even deeper than before.

Once I managed to take a few shuddering steps towards the threshold of the office, the receptionist looked at me with huge, pitying eyes and handed me a tissue.

I uttered to her, 'Thank you.' This was much more help than what Father Dominic had given me.

But he tried. I knew he did. He tried as hard as he could without feeling even more awkward than I had already positioned him. I guess there was nothing that could be done to help me, since it was then that the knife of sadness was piercing the exterior of my core, leaving me to sob uncontrollably.

That is what happens, I may tell you, when love goes away.

Devastated, sorrowful and angry, I managed to get myself slowly and carefully out of the office and down the corridors of the Mission Academy.

When I passed the rectory, the knife took another plunge, causing me to fall to the floor at the reality of it all. I did, of course, know that such a knife did not exist physically. But mentally – it was all I had to make me strong.

It was also all that I had to rip me apart.

That and the fact – the knowledge – that he did not at all love me back. He did not return the ardour that I knew, for myself, was irreversible. I knew that I would rather live a thousand years in complete blindness from this fact than to see him and know that it was all a lie.

The kiss. The happiness. The words.

Overall I had ever dealt with; that was what hurt the most.

Closure.

I don't think I can take it, after many stray thoughts, this one struck a deep blow into my bowels, causing me to feel a sudden arousing sickness in my body. No . . . Not here . . . It wouldn't happen here . . . It couldn't!

Could it?

I already knew the answer, as much as I was dreading it.

Yes. It could happen here.

It could happen anywhere.

. . . Except Shadowland.

Someone shaking my shoulders knocked me violently out of my reverie. I looked up and then, abruptly, stood. 'Adam!'

'Suze,' He looked at me, one eyebrow cocked higher than the other. 'I was wondering where you were . . . Woah. What's wrong? Have you been crying?'

I looked away abruptly, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable at the fact that someone actually caught me in the act. 'Yeah. But – but I'm okay now,' I lied.

Adam's worried face faded and a beam spread out in its place, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me towards the courtyard – away from the rectory. He would never know how thankful I was for that . . .

'Great! Now, I have to fill you in on what you have missed – this is huge, you will not believe it – but CeeCee, our own once innocent Cee, had just finished bitching off at . . . gasp . . . Paul Slater!'

He did a silent thank-you prayer to god, including elaborate faces whilst muttering incoherently. Despite myself, I laughed. Taking in what he said also, I laughed even more.

My mental images of CeeCee throwing a bitch fit at Paul were as exaggerated as Adam's prayer, but I felt right again.

I did know, however, that this rightness would soon fade.

I had no idea how right I was.

AN: Smallish I know . . . I was seriously contemplating whether to make this as a huge one-shot, but then decided against it. A mini-fic is too fun to pass up. Sorry guys.

And also, just while I'm here – about Candela, as I said for last chapter, this next one is also a Jesse POV so I found that to get his character as correct as I can, I will have to reread the books. I'm sorry that this is taking so long.

But hey! I posted this, and soon, I will be posting another fic. Thoughtless. I'm convinced that you guys will just eat up the SJ goodness.

Love,

Lluvia.

P.S. This mini-fic is by me alone, the larger story 'The Legend of Sharlimae' (aka. Torero) is a tag-team with SaGe FaE. For anyone who was confused, I just needed to right that.

P.S.S. The next chapter will be up soon.