Answering Machine Messages

Disclaimer: I think these are much funnier! I love James', Luna's, and Fred and George's! 

- Rubeus Hagrid –

"'Lo there, this is Hagrid – oy, wait there, Beaky! I'll give ya this polecat in a mo' – just in a mo' – OW! Bad Beaky – c'mon –"

- Albus Dumbledore –

"Why, hello, this is Albus Dumbledore! I am most probably simply listening to this at the moment, just to see what your response will be." (Haha..I love Dumbledore.)

- James Potter –

"Hey! This is James – er – Prongs – er – whatever. Leave your name or something. Stags are better than dogs!"

"No way, mate! Dogs are so much better –"

"Nah!"

"Does it really matter?"

"Of course it does, Moony! This is an important discussion!"

"Um...you do know the machine's still on, right?"

"Oh. I knew that! Of course I did, Wormtail!"

"No you di-"

(Moony switches off machine.)

- George Fred Weasley –

"Hey there!"

"Please leave a message –"

"Because this machine is hooked up to poor little Crookshanks over here –"

(Whimpering meow.)

"- And if you don't leave one –"

"- This poor kitty will be electrified!"

"But its your choice, of course."

"George! Fred! What are you doing?"

"Nothing, mum! Just having a bit of fun –"

"TAKE THAT CAT OFF OF THE PHONE, FRED!"

"Aw, mum!"

"DO IT!"

"Oh, fine, party pooper –"

(Hiss.)

"OW! Stupid cat –"

- The Dursleys -

"Hello. This is the Dursley's residence. Please leave a message for Vernon, Petunia, or Dudley. WE ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL. WE HAVE NO SECRET NEPHEWS. WE ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL – RUDDY OWLS!"

- Harry Potter -

"Hi, this is Harry Potter. If you're Voldemort, please leave your name and place of residence!"

- Bellatrix Lestrange -

"Aww, poor wittle baby! You called and I didn't pick up. Poor baby, now you've gotta make a wittle message! Aww."

- Cho Chang -

"H-Hi – this is Cho – I – I – I miss Cedric!" (Bawling.)