Answering Machine Messages
- Sybil Trelawney -
"Hello, darlings..I am Sybil Trelawney....I predicted you would call, yet Seers so talented as myself do not boast their Inner Eyes.." (GASP!) "I see the Grim in your future! Peril lies in your path! Grave peril! I must go crystal gaze and seek further! Leave your phone number and I shall use the clairvoyant art of numerology to discover your future with its aid!"
- Gregory Goyle -
"Duh...? Phone number good."
- Delores Umbridge -
"Hello, you have reached my phone...I am Delores Umbridg-" (Clicking tongue in background.) "CENTAURS! VILE HALF-BREEDS!" (CRASH.)
- Argus Filch -
"Mrs. Norris is looking for you, brats...Give me your name and phone number to make it a bit easier.." (Cackle.)
- Professor Lupin -
"Hello there! I'm afraid I've missed your call, but I will return it as soon as is possible - oh, no, Neville! Oh dear - out of the way, I have to catch that kappa - keep yourselves as far away as possible - urgh -"
- Draco Malfoy -
(Haughty sniff.) "I'm better than you. These telephones are vile...Muggle machines...curse Dumbledore for forcing every student to have one..I'M BETTER THAN YOU ALL. I'm rich! And you're not! So HA. Curse you all!" (Haughty sniff.)
- Mundungus Fletcher -
"'Allo, you've reached 'Dung's telephone.." (Lowers voice to whisper.) "Gotta lower me voice so Molly don't 'ear - if 'oo've got any - interestin items, you know 'oo to call.."
- Arabella Figg -
"Hello, this is Ms. Arabella Figg - oh, Mr. Tibbles, don't fuss - oh, alright -" (Trips over cat.) (CRASH.) "Oh, no - Mr. Tibbles, you horrible cat -"
- Molly Weasley -
"Oh, hello, this is Molly! Oh, no - more fake wands - FRED! GEORGE! OH, I'M GOING TO WALLOP YOU TWO SOMEDAY -"
- Arthur Weasley -
"Oh, this is so marvelous! I wonder what this peculiar button over here does -" (BEEP!) (CRASH.)