Disclaimer: Same as always, as you are aware. If not, read the disclaimer on chapter one and you'll get the idea.

AN: Sorry for the long delay

Chap. 13

Misato entered the hospital ward in the HQ after she recovered enough from her injuries. Her arm was still bandaged after the Eva went berserk and almost killed her and Ritsuko. When she awoke, she had discovered what had happened with the angel as well as the pilots. From what she found out, the pilots were losing and Shinji refused to fight after he found out that Touji was inside. Somewhere along those lines, Shinji lost it and attacked the HQ after the angel was killed, but he was subdued and arrested. The last part saddened her even more. Shinji decided not to pilot any longer and has left.

Misato sighed sadly. She hadn't seen him so she assumed that he either went home or had left Tokyo-3 already. He hoped it wasn't the latter, although that would be course he'd most likely choose. Rei had disappeared and no one knew where. Asuka was just being discharged after her injuries had been treated and was approaching Misato now.

"So where's the baka?"

"I...don't know."

Asuka frowned, "He's probably home crying his eyes out."

Misato ignored her comment, "Asuka, he's no longer a pilot."

Asuka blinked in surprise, "W-what?"

"He attacked HQ and Commander Ikari discharged him."

Asuka was still a little stunned, but she quickly shook it off, "Baka. What was he thinking? Why did he attack the HQ?"

"I don't know yet. But we'll worry about that later. Right now, let's find him."

Later...

Asuka and Misato returned to the apartment late in the afternoon. After confronting the Commander, Shinji simply disappeared from Nerv. Misato found out what happened during the battle from Maya and now understood Shinji's reason. Something called a Dummy Plug was activated and the Eva went berserk and demolished the angel/eva. It almost crushed the 03 entry plug, but stopped midway and simply dropped it. Because of that, along with some insane miracle, Touji survived. However, his status was still unknown to her as he was still in critical condition. Rei was still missing and no one seemed to know where. But that didn't surprise them too much as Rei would often be gone in the HQ for some time. But Misato often did wish she knew where.

As she entered the dwelling, she silently hoped that Shinji would be there, in his room, crying much like Asuka had said.

"Shinji."

No answer. Misato stepped in and went toward his room. Opening the door, she found it empty. Shinji's Nerv ID was lying on the desk along with a small sheet of paper. Misato reached out and opened the sheet. It was a note.

--

Dear Misato, Asuka and Rei...

As you probably know by now, I am no longer a pilot. And I can't stay in this city anymore. I don't really know what I'll do, but I won't trouble any of you any more.

Misato, don't blame yourself. If anything, I am the one responsible for this. I may hate my father for what he done, but he is not the one to blame. I didn't fight back and he did what he did. You are a good friend, Misato. Sometimes...I wish you were my mother.

Asuka, you probably expected this. By now you're thinking, 'it's about time.' Don't worry. I'm going now. You can show the angels what you can do now that I'm not in your way. But just remember. Trust in the Force. Whether you believe it or not, it's there within you. And with it, you can become stronger. Stronger than me.

Rei, I guess I owe you the biggest apology. I said I would help you with emotions, but I won't be able to now that I am gone. You should know that the Force flows strong within you. Misato can help you with your emotions if you want to keep trying.

One last thing. If Qui-Gon shows up, please tell him that I'm sorry. I'm not cut out to be a Jedi. I am sorry to have failed him. I am sorry to have failed all of you.

Goodbye, all of you. May the Force be with you.

--

"It's about time."

Misato blinked and turned to see Asuka behind her. Misato looked down a bit.

"Asuka."

"Come on, admit it. He just couldn't handle it." She waved her hand upward. "I can't believe he lasted as long as he did."

Misato folded the letter. "That's enough, Asuka. I've had it up to here with that attitude. At the very least, you could be a bit nicer about it."

Asuka gave her a look of disbelief, "Nicer? The baka ran away. I don't have to be nice."

Misato suddenly snapped, "You brat! Shinji has saved you and everyone else several times over. Yes, you have to be nicer. If you can't, then don't say anything at all!"

Asuka looked surprised before her face changed into one of anger, "Fine then! Cry over the stupid baka if you want!" With that she stormed out of the room and into hers.

Misato's shoulders slumped, inadvertently hurting her injured arm. She didn't mean to snap at her like that. It's just that...with everything going haywire... She sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. She looked over the letter again.

Sometimes...I wish you were my mother.

A tear formed in her eyes. Shinji was finally becoming someone more open in his life and suddenly he was gone. As her eyes gazed over the letter, another thought struck her. 'How am I going to tell Rei this?' She knew that both Rei and Shinji had a special connection. Whether it was romantic or not was unknown, but Misato saw something there. Shinji had asked her to help Rei. But how could she...when she was such an emotional wreck herself. And to top it off, how would she deal with Asuka now?

Beep, beep.

Her cell phone. Misato picked it up. "Yes?...What?!...We're on our way."

Misato quickly stuffed the letter in her pocket and threw opened the door in Asuka's room.

"Asuka, let's go."

Asuka snarled, "Misato, I don't have time...!"

Misato cut her off, "There's another angel."

***********

Nerv HQ

Misato and Asuka had just arrived in the command room. Asuka took in the scene, knowing that it would be like this, but never this intensely. Although the crew didn't show it, she could feel a high amount of panic and fear. It was then that she noticed that this feeling was so keen, so precise. Why?

"Don't these guys believe in breaks?" Misato muttered to herself before saying out loud. "What's the status?"

"The target has appeared at zone 569 and closing. It's beginning to rip through the defenses."

The image appeared on the screen, showing the angel. It seemed to skim on its legs like a hovercraft. Its arms were whip-like and currently slicing straight through the armor defenses.

"The angel has penetrated our defenses and is heading toward the geofront."

Misato frowned, "This is far sooner than normal. What about the Evas?"

Ritusko turned to her to answer. Her arm was also bandaged like Misato's as well as some other bandages around her head.

"00 and 02 are still pretty damaged, but 02 is still battle capable."

"And 01?"

Ritsuko answered without hesitation, "01 is repaired, but there's no pilot."

"What about Rei?"

"She's still unable to synch with it." she responded.

Misato sighed to herself, "Well, we still have 02 at least." She turned to the red-haired girl, "Asuka, you're our only defense now so you'll be on your own."

Asuka shrugged, a little too enthusiastically, "Fine by me. That's just the way I want it."

Misato noticed this and warned. "Asuka, be careful."

Asuka simply waved and headed to the Eva bay. Misato's worry grew. She didn't know how much Asuka had recovered. And she hadn't recovered fully from the battle with the last angel. One thing was certain. She wouldn't be at full strength. 'I just hope she can end it quickly.'

"Do you think she can pull it off?" Shigeru asked silently.

Misato responded in the same tone, "I don't know. But I'd feel better about it if Shinji was here."

**************

Elsewhere...

Shinji walked alone through the now empty streets. He had heard the angel alarm, but it didn't matter to him. The scenes of the last battle still went through his mind and etched him with guilt and sorrow. He didn't even know if Touji was still alive or not. He could have reached out with the Force and tried to detect him, but he feared using it. He felt the dark side and although it felt liberating, he saw what it had done. It was destructive, he realized, just as Qui-Gon said. And he didn't want that power to hurt his friends anymore. 'If that is the case, then I'll live away from them. I'll be alone...again. It's okay. Just as long as no one gets hurt.' But he couldn't dismiss the nagging impulse within him. 'I wish Qui-Gon was here.'

"Hey Shinji."

Shinji suddenly broke out of his revere and looked to the side. There, in front of a worn-down house was Kaji. He was kneeling down in dirt with a water holder and sprinkling some water down one a medium-sized watermelon.

"Mr. Kaji? Shouldn't you be at a shelter?"

Kaji simply smiled, "Nah. I'm not going anywhere right now. These melons still need watering." He moved over to the next melon and began pouring the water. "What about you?" he asked. "Shouldn't you be somewhere?"

Shinji looked down, "I...I don't know."

"Why not just stay with Nerv?" Kaji said casually.

Shinji shook his head, "I can't. I've caused too much suffering to others. I can't bear it any longer."

Kaji stopped and appeared thoughtful, "I see. You know, I don't think you've caused any suffering Shinji. On the contrary, you've given many care and hope."

Shinji looked up at him in slight confusion as he began...

"I've noticed how Misato is around you. I don't understand why, but she feels very close to you." He began watering again, "I find myself wishing I was a lot like you, Shinji."

Shinji listened, but didn't respond as Kaji continued.

"Also, Ayanami's not the same person she was when I first met her. She seemed cold, uncaring of the world around her. Except when she's around you." He moved to the next melon. "Only then could I see that it wasn't uncaring, but rather uncertain. You helped her in that regard."

Shinji's eyes cast downward again.

"She's not the only one. Many of the command staff, even Ritsuko care about your well-being. And not just because you were an Eva pilot."

"But Asuka still hates me. And Touji...."

Kaji waved lightly, "Asuka is a hard nut to crack, but she's a sweet kid, you know. She just hides her true self behind her bravado so that she won't be hurt by others. And as for your friend, I don't think he would want you like this, would he?"

Shinji was locked in thought, but his eyes were still downcast and sad. Kaji finally stopped to look up at him.

"Look. I'm not saying you have to go back. But ask yourself this. Will not piloting the Eva stop the suffering?"

Shinji clenched his fist slightly, "But...the dark side..."

"We all have dark sides, Shinji." Kaji cut him off. "But we can't let that dictate our lives. If we do, they it will simply grow within us, don't you think?"

Shinji thought about that. What he said was true. Fear of what may happen will only allow it to occur.

"Well..."

A loud explosion caught their attention. Looking a distance away, he saw the fight between the angel and Eva 02. The angel looked similar to one of the ones they fought before, except it was ten times more vicious. It had already barged through Nerv's defenses and heading into the geofront. Asuka was battling the angel fiercely, but she hadn't fully recovered from her last battle. On top of that, she couldn't even get close to the angel as its whip-like blades kept her at bay. Using her last weapon, she pulled out her progressive knife and dashed in for one single charge. But the angel detected her and lashed out again, ripping up the ground beneath her and causing her to fall back. But it wasn't until after she fell when she realized that the angel had slashed the legs almost clean off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Within his mind, Shinji heard the scream of agony. "Asuka!"

Kaji too, was looking up at 02, but managed to compose himself and turn back to Shinji.

"Well Shinji?"

Shinji looked at the Eva and then at the ground. 'What do I do? What do I do?' he thought panicky.

'When you are in doubt, trust your instincts. They will guide you when you are uncertain.'

Shinji looked up again. His instincts told him one thing and one thing alone.

"I...I...I have to go back."

Kaji smiled, "I'll give you a lift."

*********

"02 is too badly damaged. Asuka's out cold!"

Gendo looked on at the battle passively and ordered, "Initialize the Dummy Plug."

Maya winced at the order after seeing what it did in the last battle. But this was no time to hesitate. Ritsuko gave her a brief nod and she quickly computed the program in.

"Nothing's happening sir."

Gendo turned to her, "What?"

"01 is dead silent."

"Try again." he ordered.

This time, Ritsuko went over by her and saw the same thing.

"Nothing sir. Unit 01 is rejecting the signal."

Without a word, Commander Ikari quickly left his seat and went into the observation room behind him. He tapped in his own personal codes and sent them to 01. But the purple Eva didn't move one inch.

'No.' His face was for the first time etched with worry. 'This doesn't make sense. Why won't it...?'

Suddenly, the screens in the private room flicked with static. As he looked around himself, the static quickly focused, surrounding him with the face of one single image.

Shinji.

Gendo looked around and the images of his son being displayed. 'Is this...what you want?'

"Father!"

Gendo blinked and looked out of the glass of the observation room. Below him, standing before 01, with Kaji behind him, was Shinji.

"Let me pilot. I'm its pilot!"

***********

A moment later, Shinji was inside Eva 01 and was being launched into the battle. As he did, the others watched him

"01's been launched." Maya then blinked. "Synch status is unusually high."

Ritsuko went to look over again and was surprised as well. "99.56%? That way beyond any of his previous records."

Shinji grabbed the controls tightly as he prepared for battle. The Eva responded to his command and swiftly grabbed the nearby rifle. Shinji unloaded a hail of bullets on the angel, but they were easily deflected by its AT field. The angel looked at its new target and lashed out. Shinji quickly dodged as the whip ripped up the ground again.  Rolling to the side, Shinji quickly fired again, but the angel dodged the fire and lashed out once more. The whip slashed straight across the chest armor cleanly. Shinji cried in pain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Shinji!"

Shinji managed to get the Eva back on its feet. 'I have to…' Shinji began breathing slowly and rhythmically as he calmed himself. The Force began to surge through him once again and Shinji was almost hesitant about grabbing hold of it, but he did anyway. The renewing energy flooded his body and calmed his thoughts. As Shinji continued this, his body seemed to move automatically. He slowly shut down his AT field.

"Shinji, what are you doing?" Misato demanded. "Re-activate your AT field now!"

Shinji payed no heed. He let his body fill with the Force while he remembered his training

'Release fear and doubt. Let my body and mind become calm. Let it flow through me. Between me and the angel. Me and the Eva. Stretch out with my feelings.'

The angel seemed a little puzzled by the Eva's pause in attack, but attacked regardless. The whip came, but suddenly Eva 01 dashed off to the side with unbelievable speed. As the angel looked around for its target, Eva 01 stood posed behind it. Its AT field was active again, but it glowed in white instead of its usual red. 01 put its hands forward and the AT field began to converge and solidify, ultimately forming an energy saber.

The entire crew was surprised as they exited the building, "What on earth...?"

"How did he do that?" Misato asked.

Maya answered unsteadily, "He-he reconfigured the AT field into a weapon."

Ritsuko's face was stuck in surprise at this, "That can't be."

Maya's face then went into an even bigger panic, "That's not all. His synch ratio is skyrocketing."

Ritsuko was now shocked, "No way! That's too fast! He has to stop before it gets too high!"

Meanwhile, the angel finally turned toward the Eva. It swooped off to the side and its whip came out at the Eva again. But again, 01 avoided the attack at the last second and leaped high into the air, almost stretching the limit of the umbilical cable. The pilot within was now locked in his concentration.

There is no emotion; there is peace.

There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.

There is no passion; there is serenity.

There is no death; there is the Force.

The angel raised its AT field as the Eva slashed down. But the blade of energy sliced right through the angel's field and slashed off its right arm. The angel slumped back in pain and the Eva sliced again, this time taking the left arm. The angel backed further away, blood seeping out of its wounds as the Eva held its sword to its side, readying to attack again.

"Shinji, you have to stop it now!" Misato cried.

Inside, Shinji didn't hear Misato's cry of warning as his mind continued to remain focused on the battle.

"Approaching the red zone! 398% 399% 400%!"

Suddenly, the saber vanished from the Eva's hands and the jaws unhinged. The Eva let out a ear-piercing roar and it suddenly lunged at the injured angel, pinning it to the ground.

"It's awake." Ritsuko whispered. "Nothing can stop it now."

"What's it doing?" Misato asked, seeing the Eva merely sitting over the angel. But she would come to regret that question, for the Eva's mouth opened again and it suddenly dived in face first, tearing away the angel's flesh and...eating it. Everyone watched in horror and Maya covered her mouth at the disgusting sight. The Eva continued to bite, swallow and devour the angel until it finally reached the angel's S2 engine. It seemed to grin as it took the organ and swallowed it whole. Finished swallowing, the Eva lifted his head up and let out another roar.

"It ate the S2 organ. Assimilating it into itself."

The Eva finally stopped roaring and it began to pull apart its armor.

"The Eva's been freed from its bonds." Ritsuko said. "Nothing can stop it now."

**********

Nearby

Kaji looked on as the Eva had finally settled. A small grin formed on his face.

'Now SEELE will have to notice...and worry.'

***********

Gendo's office

The two commanders were in the office, watching the battle and the results. Fuyutuki looked over at his former student.

"This will certainly set the plan back." he muttered, waiting for a reaction.

The reaction was the dark grin on Commander Ikari's lips.

"On the contrary, now the real awakening will begin."

********

Just outside Tokyo-3

A figure had crossed over one of the hills surrounding the massive city. He saw just enough to witness the battle and the end. But what caught his attention the most was the strangely powerful ripple in the Force. It called his attention instantly and it urged him to move faster. But just as soon as it came, it went silent, and he felt no trace of the pilot whatsoever. But he knew that Shinji was still alive. He wasn't sure, but it was just instinct. Either way, he had to get back to Tokyo-3 and find out what's going on.

'Shinji. I'm coming.' Qui-Gon said to himself...