BU - RE - SU
By Tenshi no Ai
(C) Square Enix
IX. -Cool-
-0-
The inn, suitably called The Resting Shield, was the nicest one in Zeltennia castle town's shopping district. When Beowulf entered, the sight of tasteful paintings--paintings at all, really--and fresh-looking clientele in the spacious lobby confirmed it; it was certainly nicer than his usual fare as a hunter, his house notwithstanding. Reis followed, her eyes wide as she took in the surroundings. Her attention quickly became riveted on a particular painting featuring three teenagers, a girl and two boys, facing off against a ferocious red dragon breathing fire, leaving him to amble up to the innkeeper's desk. The innkeeper, a woman who appeared to be in her thirties, glanced up at him as he approached and smiled. "Welcome, sir knight. How may I help you tonight?"
No matter how much he insisted he was a hunter, everyone saw him as the knight he had once been. He wondered why this was even as he said in a cheerful tone, "I'd like a room, please." He looked over at Reis, who had her back to him as she continued to examine the painting. When he looked back, he was momentarily startled to see a flicker of distaste in the innkeeper's eyes.
"For you and your...consort, sir knight?" As soon as she said that, he understood. Upscale inns the country over did not appreciate certain kinds of working girls in their fine establishments; there were plenty of bars with rooms for that sort of business transaction. Glancing at Reis once again, it appeared that she hadn't understood the implication of the innkeeper's words, and for that he was thankful. The words wouldn't hurt any less, no matter if she had endured them before.
"For my wife and I, yes," he coolly responded. The innkeeper blushed and quickly asked for the pertinent information--what sort of room would he like, how much was he willing to pay, wouldn't he like a much more extravagant room, women do like those sort of things after all, come now, I can tell you are of a noble house...oh, of Lesalia? I see--and after the negotiations had broken down he was finally able to take another glance at Reis. His love was staring directly at him, eyes shining in the candlelight, her genuinely appreciative expression making her look like a young girl. It made him pause for a moment--she looks amazing like that, but why does she look so grateful?--but then he smiled and gestured for her to come over.
Ascending the well-worn stairs of the inn, Beowulf realized that he would be sharing a bed with Reis. Normally, this wouldn't bother him--oh no, not at all--but this time was a little different. She had only returned to her human form the day before, and during the day they had spent in the town of Zeltennia Castle he had been all too aware that she was still adjusting. They had spent much of the day arm-in-arm, not just because of any romantic intentions, but because her mind was still getting used to the idea of walking on two legs instead of four. The voluminous skirts of the outfit he had given her hadn't helped, either. She stared at eating utensils as if they were foreign objects, and he was sorry he had to remind her what they were for. But she was still Reis, still beautiful and empathetic and slightly naive in a world that sought to break people like her, and in the day he had spent with her he knew that his feelings for her hadn't changed a bit.
But she was still adjusting, and he was not going to deny her the time to do so.
It's fine, it's fine. One day at a time, right? He snuck a glance behind him, which she caught and threw back at him with a smile. Weakly he smiled back before turning around and searching for their room. One day at a time, one day at a time. We have our whole lives together. No need to rush back to all our old habits. Finding the room, he opened the door and they entered. To his dismay, his eyes immediately focused on the bed, white sheets glowing almost silver with the moonlight streaming through the large opened window directly across from the door. That is a rather nice bed...dammit. That's it, I'm sleeping on the floor.
"Beowulf?" The soft touch of Reis' hand landed upon his shoulder, and it was all he could to close his eyes and not move.
"It's a little chilly in here, Reis. Do you mind closing the window?"
"Not at all." He nearly sighed in relief as she moved away--then he wondered why, since he had always loved her touch--and headed to the other side of the room. After sliding the glass partition into place, she looked over at him. "Would you like me to close the curtains as well?"
Silver lined her face, giving her a cool, marble cast that reminded him of the statues of angels in Murond, all cold perfection and without emotion. Her eyelashes were dark upon the artificial paleness of her skin, enhancing her questioning gaze into something far more seductive when she lowered her eyes. "No," he breathed, before vainly trying to regain his composure. "It's fine. Let's go to bed."
Pleasant surprise made her expression that much more lively as she smiled at him. "Oh, alright," she replied, a girlish lilt to her voice setting off alarms in his head.
"I mean, let's go to sleep," he amended regretfully. There was the beginnings of a frown creasing her brow before she looked away, running a hand through her long, moonlight-caressed hair.
"Oh. A-alright." When she turned to him again, there was a puzzled look on her face that he couldn't help but notice. Her lips moved enticingly, but there was no sound. A bit concerned, he approached her with the intention of holding her--he could do that much, couldn't he?--so that she would be comforted enough to speak, but after a few steps she ran her teeth over her bottom lip and stared up at him in a way that made him pause.
Was that...hurt in her eyes?
"Beowulf, you...ah, thank you for restoring me to this body," she finally said. He raised an eyebrow at this.
"There's no need to thank me. I wanted to." That didn't sound strong enough in his mind. "I needed to."
She looked down, her expression conflicted once again. "Yes, I...I appreciate it." Confusion sparked in his mind at her cool attitude, but just before he opened his mouth to say something her eyes flickered upward, at his face. "But now that I'm...I'm fine again, you don't need to feel obligated to stay with me."
"'Obligated'?" The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you're kind." She couldn't have made it sound any more accusatory if she had screamed it at him. "That's the sort of person you've always been. If I were in trouble, no matter how small or large, you would help me with every ounce of your being, even..." she looked away, to the side, her voice becoming no more louder than a red panther kit's mewling as she said, "even if you have a whole other life before you."
He did approach her now, holding her loosely. It had been a bad idea to tell her about all his activities after her transformation, he saw that now, but he didn't think it would affect her so badly. After all, he was with her, wasn't he? "Reis, that's all in the past. The only thing that matters is that we're together again." A terrible thought settled into his mind. "Isn't that what you want?"
"I..." She seemed to shrink into herself in his embrace, trying to get away from him without taking a step. "I want you to be happy."
"I'm very happy," he stated. Present moment excluded, he continued in his thoughts.
Reis was shaking her head even before he had finished his sentence. "You had it all, Beowulf. You would've had a family by now, a secure job...you shouldn't have to throw it all away for my sake. That hurts more than...no, I just...your kindness is too much--"
"I didn't do any of this out of kindness," he interrupted. Cupping the side of her face with one hand, he compelled her to look up at him. "It's as I've said before: I love you. If I can help it, I'm not going to live life without you. I'll do anything it takes to ensure that we're together."
Slowly she brought one hand over his, slowly she gazed up at him. "That's like you, isn't it?" He was inordinately pleased that she didn't sound so accusing this time. "And I...I love you. Even as the holy dragon, my feelings were still there, but in this form my emotions are so heightened...they scare me," she ended in a timid tone. "But you seemed to dislike it if I did anything more than hold onto your arm like a lost little girl, and just now...so I thought maybe you resented me because you felt obligated to waste years of your life in order to...save me..."
A strange feeling, like a more painful form of relief, washed over him as he pulled her against him and held her tightly, running his hands through the soft strands of her hair. "No. No, I could never resent you. It was my choice, and I'm happy to have stuck by it. God, how could you even think that?" he chided her, though he was smiling.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her head resting against his shoulder as she held him back just as tightly. "I was just so confused. I was so scared..." He whispered something meaningless, something soothing against her ear, kissing it afterwards as if to seal it into place. Another kiss was pressed against her cheekbone, a line of them until he was one away from her lips--
What am I doing? This doesn't change the fact that she's still...recovering...
--and he pulled away.
"Beowulf?" she whispered, her voice tinny against his ears, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes.
"I really shouldn't. You're...you need time to recuperate--"
"Beowulf." He looked at her face, the moonlight cruel enough to reflect off of the trace of water in her eyes. "No matter what you say about being kind, don't...your good intentions hurt..."
Calloused fingertips drifted over the gentle curve of her cheek as he considered. "Reis, is this what you really want?" he finally asked.
"Yes." She reached with one hand behind his neck, her fingers running up through his hair as she looked at him imploringly. "I want to feel human again."
The words confused him, but if it was what she wanted... "I think I can help, then." Once again he cupped her face, his thumb just below her chin as he tipped her face up. He dimly noted that there were tears rolling down from her closed eyes as he leaned towards her. For a moment he waited there, a finger's width from her parted lips, their breaths mingling until there was nothing between them but themselves.
Then, he kissed her.
Had it ever felt so good to kiss her? Nostalgia demanded that yes, the hazy reflections of years past was much more incredible than this moment's anticipation fulfilled, but nostalgia was a bitter liar. Beowulf had no such desire to become the past's advocate, not any longer when Reis was here, Reis was real, and Reis was holding onto him as if parting now would be the end of her.
He felt the same way.
Once, too many years ago, he had made a promise to her. He had promised to marry her, to give her everything that had once only belonged to him. His name, his possessions, everything but himself--but he had already given her that. They would be together forever.
Finally, forever had arrived.
-End to Cool-
Hah...right now I'm sitting in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. If it weren't for The Last Five Years original cast soundtrack, I wouldn't have felt the emotion needed to complete this story on time. What an incredible musical. As far as the story goes, I realize lately I've been writing the same thing over and over again, but I honestly hope everyone finds something deeper in this particular story. By the way, we're now into the last set of breaths.
Reviewers!
Somehow, I think you speak the truth, TruebornChaos. It's alright, this will be my last Beowulf/Reis story anyway.
It may have drizzled during the Dorter slums battle, but I remember it
as being overcast. Ah, I don't care. Zozo did have awesome music.
Yes, you spelled 'catchier' right. :)
raitei, thank you for the kind words. I hope you'll feel the same way once I start writing for the Fire Emblem section.