'So can I start drinking again yet?' Alex asked.

'How many days has it been since you started on the painkillers?' Hawkeye asked.

'Sixteen days,' Alex replied, sounding downcast.

'Then no,' BJ said. 'Charles told you a whole month without booze. At least you're more than half way.'

'It feels like forever,' Alex complained. 'I'd like to see you guys go without your martini's for a month.'

'Yes, but we don't have to,' Hawkeye reminded her.

Klinger came into the Swamp, a large parcel under one arm, the mail bag under the other.

'Mail,' he said. Spotting Alex, he dropped the parcel on her lap. 'Big one from home,' he told her, sorting through the letters in the bag. Alex ripped open the package.

'What is it?' Hawkeye asked.

'If it's alcohol, I'll scream,' Alex muttered. She let out an excited gasp when she pulled the final layer of paper off.

'What?' BJ asked, the three men leaning in closer to have a look.

'My favourite jacket,' Alex said, pulling a black jacket. It didn't look very warm, but Alex hugged it like it was a godsend. She put it carefully on her lap and pulled out a book next. 'Photo album,' she said. 'I'll have to go through this first and make sure there aren't any embarrassing photo's in it.' She tucked it under her jacket, making sure it was out of reach from the others. Hawkeye and BJ had already started to eye it evilly.

'Anything else?' Klinger asked.

'A letter from mom, and another from Dani,' Alex said. She sighed heavily. 'And a tin of mom's rum brownies,' she said. Hawkeye gleefully snatched the tin from her.

'We'll look after them for you,' he said. Alex snatched the tin back.

'No way,' she said. 'They'll be gone within twenty minutes. Anyway, these'll get you drunk faster than those martini's.'

'How much rum does she put in?' BJ asked. Alex opened the tin and offered it to them.

'Enough to keep her and me happy,' she said. 'She also makes a mean rum mud cake.' She offered the tin to them and Hawkeye, BJ and Klinger each accepted one.

'Wow, you'd better keep an eye on them,' BJ said. 'They could cause trouble if someone eats them without knowing what they are.'

'Yeah,' Alex said fondly. 'Mom got the recipe from her mother-in-law, years before she married my father. I'd get into the tin before dinner, and be half drunk for the rest of the night. Dani never liked them.'

'Ah, so that's why you're such a good drinker,' Hawkeye said.

'And why my liver is in such bad shape,' Alex said. She opened the photo album and flicked through it.

'Who's that?' Klinger asked, pointing to a photo over her shoulder.

'That's Isaac,' Alex replied. 'This is from just before the war. He'd finished a course in teaching, and was going to teach at the college in our home town before he got conscripted.' Alex's tone had turned slightly bitter. 'He had to deal with so much because of his lifestyle. People wouldn't serve him at shops, once they knew he was homosexual, they wouldn't go near him on buses or trains. Some even spat at him. But we knew he was our brother, a guy willing to do anything, anything, for us.'

'Sounds like a real gentleman,' BJ said seriously. Alex shrugged.

'I wouldn't say gentleman,' she replied. She closed the album and stood up, her things under her arms. 'I might go read Dani's and mom's letters in my tent,' she said. 'I'll see you later, ok?'

'See you Alex,' BJ and Hawkeye said in unison. Klinger gave her a wave as she walked across the compound.

'So, how is your family?' Jefferson asked.

'Mom's ok, she's talking a lot about some of the little kids around the street, starting marble tournaments and stuff,' Alex said. 'Getting in trouble for taking rum brownies to the school bake sale instead of regular ones.' Jefferson laughed.

'I bet the older kids were happy about that,' she said. Alex nodded vaguely, starting the letter from Dani. She was stretched out over her cot, and Jefferson was packing for R and R leave. She soon forgot what she was doing when Alex gave a yell and sat up.

'What?' Jefferson asked, moving to the end of Alex's cot.

'Dani's pregnant,' Alex said. Her voice was a mixture of joy and jealousy. 'The guy from work proposed to her, and they're going to get married in six weeks, so the baby isn't born out of wedlock and Dani can still fit into a wedding dress.' She looked up at Jefferson. 'This is huge,' she said, waving the letter in Jefferson's face. She looked down at the letter again. 'God, I wish I could go home to see it. Do you think I could go back to the states for a few days?'

'No harm in asking,' Jefferson said. She sighed. 'I love weddings.'

'Margaret won't let me go. I've already annoyed her enough in the last month,' Alex said. She looked back at the letter. 'I never thought I'd see the day,' she said to Jefferson. 'Dani was always the flirty type. She says Mom will record the wedding for me, but it won't be the same.'

'Maybe the war will end soon,' Jefferson suggested.

'In the next six weeks?' Alex asked. 'I'd need a miracle.'

Alex was sitting across the table from Klinger in the mess hall when her liver began playing up again.

'Damn it,' she swore, clutching her stomach.

'Are you ok?' Klinger asked, concerned.

'Yeah, my liver is just beating me up again,' Alex said. She took the small plastic bottle of painkillers from her pocket and took one. Instead of putting the bottle away, she stared at it. 'How many do you think it would take?' she asked quietly, turning it slowly in her hands.

'To do what?' Klinger asked.

'To die,' Alex said softly. 'How many until I stopped breathing, until my heart stopped beating, until the neurons in my mind stopped working?'

'Alex?' Klinger asked, reaching across the table and touching her on the shoulder. The nurse jumped, then smiled at him.

'You know, they almost taste better than the food here,' she said cheerfully, putting them away.

'Do you know what you were talking about before?' Klinger asked, worriedly.

'Huh?' Alex asked confusedly. 'I was just saying how my liver was giving me trouble again.'

'Never mind,' Klinger said when she gave him a questioning look. He kept an eye on her for the rest of the meal, but she seemed to have forgotten about the painkillers.

Alex flipped through the photo album that night, alone in her tent. Jefferson had long gone on R and R, Kellye was dancing at the Officer's club, and Baker was on Post op duty again. Alex stared at a photo of her and Dani together, and she thought of her sister getting married.

'When will it end?' she muttered to herself.