Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; I just like to weave my own tales…of love…of woe…

"As I fight the shadows that disguise me
Dyin' for these hidden ways
All that seems so far is now behind me
And I can soar while my heart is left sinking…"

I work attentively at the task at hand. I seem to finish much faster than all the other students. But that is expected of me, I guess. I am the brains of the Golden Trio, as he likes to call me and my friends. I really do not understand him at all. He acts so short with people all the time, but I can see him looking at all of us questioningly sometimes. I watch him when he is at Grimmauld Place, and he looks thoughtfully at all of us, before setting that scowl of his that seems so commonplace to his nature. I do believe that he must have a heart after all, contrary to popular gossip and belief of my peers. I believe that deep down, he must have been rejected rather badly, because he acts so cruel. I do suppose that it had to be quite horrible, because otherwise I do not believe he would have joined Voldemort's cause.

As I double check my test, and recheck it again, I look up at him. He is sitting at his desk, face crunched up like he is thinking rather hard. He looks mad at something, but when doesn't he? I notice everything about him. The way he moves so fluidly around the castle and classroom. The way he looks after a hard day's work, relieved that it's over. The way he sneers at the Gryffindor, and especially Harry and Ron and me. The way he gloats when Slytherin wins a match. Especially the way he looks when I answer a difficult question in class. He looks almost surprised. I know everything about him, and it hurts me so much inside to watch him, but I must. It makes me feel close to him. Very close. The closest I will ever get I suppose. Seventh year could not get any worse or more complicated to me for that matter.

When the bell rings, he barks at us, "Bring up your parchments and your bottled potions and leave them in your cubbies. The cubbies will lock automatically in precisely 30 seconds, so I suggest you put your test inside at once. You are dismissed. "

I slowly get up, and place my things in my cubby. Why does mine have to be the closest to his desk? I wonder. The rest of the class is murmuring, and rushing about to place their tests inside of their cubbies. I just look on as I wait for Harry to hurry up behind me. Ron is not taking this class this year; his NEWTS were too low to qualify. So many students have dropped potions, I am sad to say. No more are we required to deal with the snarky bat of the dungeons, but still, I stay. I remain forever in his presence as long as I can. I love him…

As I sit down to lunch there is a buzz about the table. Apparently Crabbe accidentally charmed Goyle with a simple but terribly complex charm (it is Crabbe we are talking about you know.). It was a charm that makes the receiver speak of his greatest desires. And now Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode are an item! I guess they both deserve each other. They both have a brutish appearance, with a temper to match, rather amusing if you ask me. Everyone in our year seems to be dating someone else. Ron has Luna, and Harry has Ginny. Even Draco, who always pretended to hate Pansy, is dating her, and it seems to work out. Everyone is in love or lust, apparently, but me. Ginny offered to set me up with Colin Creevey, but he is not my type. She, my best friend, doesn't even know that I am in love with him. No one knows, and I do not think I could bear it if anyone were to discover my secret.

Why can't I have love? How does a creep like Crabbe deserve love over me? The fates have spit in my face once again, and I am not terribly excited about that either. Harry pokes me in the side and says, "Who are you going to take to the Spring ball next Saturday? Dean was whining because Rachel broke up with him last week, and now he has no one to take. You should talk to him about it. "

"Alright Harry, "I tell him absentmindedly as I look up at the Head table, to get a glimpse of him. He is looking at his plate, next to McGonagall, and eating rather slowly. He looks as if he is weary from today. It's only been 4 hours, and already he looks worn out. I wonder what is troubling him…

"Take out your Charms texts, and turn to page 567. The charm we are studying is…" I sit in charms class, and think about him. Ron looks at me, because I am not for once trying to take notes on every word that is being uttered by the professor. "Just take your notes Ron," I hiss to him when he stares at me for several seconds. "I know what this is already. I've read the book on this charm months ago. I learned it last year. Go ahead, take your notes. I'm fine."

Why must everyone think of me as a brain, instead of human? If I acted like Ron or Harry, or Ginny, they would think I was completely off my rocker. But instead I act like a know-it-all. I guess it's the role I was meant to play.

"What was that all about Hermione? I was worried, because usually you take such good notes. I was planning on borrowing them later. What's up?" Ron asked me when class was dismissed. He was struggling to fit all of his things into his bag. He looked up from his task, and looked at me, into my eyes.

"Nothing is the matter Ron," I replied. What I liar I am. Everything is wrong. I love the person you hate the most. Well not the most. The third most. But still, you hate him just the same.

"Let's go to the Common room. I want to see if Luna is studying with Ginny right now. It's their free period today. "Of course Ron is thinking about Luna, she is all he ever talks about. Would I ever be able to talk about Severus that way? At some point, when my infatuation became love, I started to refer to him as Severus, because I was in the safety of my own mind. I practice saying it at night, when I am alone in my private quarters. Malfoy seems to have Pansy in his all the time. But I have no one to invite to mine.

"Sure Ron, I need to get my Advanced Arthimancy book anyway. Last class of the day. I thought you had Divination today?"

"Yes, but I guess I am going to walk Luna to Care of Magical Creatures. She will be lonely, because Ginny has Transfiguration next. I promised her I would meet her in the Common room."

"Well, you better not be late. Divination is the other way. Don't come crying to me, because you have a detention! I refuse to fix another for you."

"Okay. Are you going to talk to Dean at dinner? He is really a great guy you know."

"I know. I have spent almost 7 years at school with him."

"Touchy. Well, I was just wondering. Harry said you were going to ask him to the ball, so I was wondering when you were. Okay?"

"Yes, I guess so." Why would Harry say that? I don't like Dean, not like that anyway. He is too juvenile. I love someone else, but no one will ever know. No one…

"Bulbous Bullfrogs," I said to the Fat Lady, as the portrait hole swung open.

As we finished the walk up to the Common room, Ron talked to me about the upcoming matches and asked me if I was going. I hate the sport really, but I don't like to hurt his feelings, and not go. I go to watch my three best friends play, but I also go because of my Head Girl Duties. I go mostly because if it is a match with Slytherin, he is there. He sits in the teacher's box, and looks at the game, never changing his expression, regardless of the winner. He is most interesting and amusing at times. I wish he would notice my love for him. I can not go on like this. Loving him is hard enough, but loving him and not being able to speak of it, is so much harder. I want to tell the world, but I know that is not possible…I love him…

Author's note: More to come. I love the fact that I got a few reviews. I never get them, so I was terribly excited. So I wrote this chapter faster than I anticipated. Thanks to all who reviewed. Anyone interested in being a beta for me?

P.S. All of the lyrics I have used so far are from a rare song by Vanessa Carlton, called Devil's Dance…