Chapter 14
I woke in a bed, I vaguely remembered, fully clothed, watching Severus pacing at the foot of the bed. The sound of his robes swishing as he walked and a faint snap as he turned to change direction.
I sat up quickly exclaiming various expletives in more than one language. I buried my face in my hands as an onslaught of images from a few hours ago came flooding in.
After my rant, I peaked through my fingers looking at Severus, staring at me with his arms folded menacingly across his broad chest. "Indeed," he growled, his eyes dark in an odd mixture of anger and compassion.
I removed my hands from my face and we stayed still for a few moments, looking each other in the eyes.
He was the first to speak, as I wasn't sure what to say to him at this point, "We must be returning to Hogwarts."
I only nodded my accent and rose from the bed, following him out to the foyer, where we apparated to Hogwarts gates.
He said nothing as we walked towards the castle. He only turned to instruct me to go to my bed, then turning away towards his own rooms.
Two days later, the news broke of the Finnegan's death. They were found in their home, arranged into posses of sleep. The Daily Prophet reported the only facts known of the case, that they were killed in a different location, since the house appeared to be free of blood that such a crime would require. They didn't know why Seamus was out of Hogwarts at the time. The only clue they had was the Dark Mark glittered above the residence.
I watched, nauseated as the Gryffindors received the news. Shouts and cries could be heard. I dropped my fork; I was only moving food around the plate anyway. I tried to eat on a few occasions but found that the only sustenance I was able was blood. The potion was now completely ineffective.
There were murmurs at the Slytherin table, they seemed to arrogant, which appalled me.
I stood up, composing myself in order to approach the few people I considered friends. I made my way over to the table sitting under the red and gold banner. A few other students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were already there, already giving their condolences. I was the only Slytherin.
The head table sat with rapt attention, Professor McGonagall was fighting her own tears watching her house grieve for their loss. She as well as the Headmaster already was aware of the senseless deaths and I could only assume that Snape informed them by which hand their student was slain.
I approached Hermione, she turned to acknowledge my presence, her eyes brimming with tears, and I managed a weak smile to convey my sympathy. I had shut off any outside emotions, as they would certainly overwhelm me.
Harry noticed me and gave a short nod of approval; I leaned over and embraced Hermione, as she broke down into muffled sobs. I held her until her sobs had trickled to sniffles, by then Dumbledore stood, dismissing classes for the day.
All the students made their way back to their common rooms, as did I. I was planning to go to bed for some peace and quiet. But what I found was some very angry housemates in the Common Room.
"Oh, please, would you just get over yourselves." I spoke exasperated.
Pansy spoke first, "You broke the cardinal rule, Mercedes. You should go shower and burn your clothes after letting that Mudblood filth snivel on you." She sneered
I swiftly grabbed her, embracing her against me and my supposed filth, rubbing against her to which she promptly shrieked in horror. When I let her go she fled towards the dormitory. I laughed hard at her reaction, the other Slytherins just scowled.
That was the perfect revenge. No one tells me who I can or cannot be friends with.
Blaise came over and sat on the arm of the chair I plopped myself into, he leaned over to whisper in my ear, "That was entertaining."
"I'm glad you thought so."
"So, what are your plans for the day?" he inquired, batting his eyelashes playfully.
We continued our conversation for a few more minutes, the rest of the occupants going about their own business when the portrait opened and Draco came strutting in, in all his arrogant glory.
"Well, if it isn't the Crown Prince himself," I said.
He smirked and mock bowed, "At your service, my lady." I smiled at him, while Blaise seethed beside me.
"Poor Pansy is occupied at the moment she is obsessive compulsively scrubbing herself." At the mention of Pansy's name the look of anger flashed behind his cool gray eyes. On the other hand Blaise relaxed, noting that Draco was here for Pansy and not for me. Jealousy pasted Draco's features when he noticed the proximity Blaise was to me.
"Pansy is not poor, she is anything but." Draco defended.
"Wealth she may have, but she is still common." I returned.
"Jealous are we?" he asked with his delicate brow arched. I did the only thing a good Slytherin does when they are caught, I denied.
"No." But he knew that it was a lie.
I stood and walked out of the Common Room unable to stomach Pansy's simpering reentrance to Draco. I roamed the dungeons for a few hours.
I found a heavily warded door, curious as to what the room beyond held to warrant such precautions. I worked for awhile at the wards, dismantling them slowly.
When the door finally clicked open, to reveal only a dusty room, filled with cobwebs and various spiders. There were a mass of crates bearing the Hogwarts emblem on the sides and an old mirror in the corner of the room.
Curiosity killed the cat, but since I wasn't a cat I figured I was safe to search the crates, still unsure of why this specific room was warded.
I searched the crates only to find various robes dating back a few centuries, books of no value or consequence.
Upon giving up my search, I passed the large mirror. I caressed the mirrors gilded edges only to be stopped by a passing image that was not my current reflection.
I moved to stand directly in front of it, seeing and watching events.
One was my parents alive and well, and then the surface rippled to my reflection, almost exact except my image had tears running down her cheeks, clear, salty, human tears. Whereas my true self was shedding crimson, metallic, blood tears.
The image in the mirror was really alive, so fascinated was I that I reached out to touch it, only for the mirror to ripple once again. This time the mirror held a different image, this one disturbing in its detail.
I still stood with human tears of happiness smiling up at a slightly older Draco who was holding a dark haired little girl of about age three, her small arms around Draco's neck, kissing his cheek. Draco's features were of peace and happiness.
Our child.
I couldn't tell if this child's eyes were mine or Draco's. I never noticed how alike our eyes were, in color and hue, even shape. But then again it had been years since I seen my eyes as they were before I became this creature. Her hair was long and slightly curled.
I backed away only a few inches in order to sit on the dusty floor enthralled by an adult Draco playing with our daughter. Time meant nothing as I sat and watched events happen in my life. I had no concept of time as I sat. I watched my attending Durmstrang, meet Draco at a party, I seen what my bridal robes would have looked like. I watched as I grew round with child, then her birth, picnics together and Christmases in my ancestral home.
I had no idea how long I sat there watching events if I was human, I could only be sure that it was quite awhile as I heard someone clearing their throat behind me.
Startled, I jumped up, seeing the Headmaster standing there. "So, here you are, we have been looking for you."
"I apologize, sir, time slipped away from me."
"Quite understandable, my dear. Forgive me for prying, I was curious as to what you see in there?" he gestured to the scrying mirror.
"Many images sir, but they all have one thing in common."
"What would that be?"
"I'm human."
"I thought as much."
"But it is of little consequence, as the only thing I have seen is what my heart wants, but nothing I can ever have." I paused then asked the question, "Did Professor Snape tell you about the other night?"
"Yes he told me. Although it is sad, sometimes it is necessary. Come child, it has been two days since anyone has seen you, and I have something for you." He seemed sad but like any other war general, he knew the cost of victory was sometimes very high.
"Thank you sir, I am not sure I could have left of my own volition."
"Understandable."
He led me to the Infirmary, I cautiously following him. No one was around he led me over to a cabinet, handing me a large bag with dark crimson fluid in it.
"Poppy keeps a small supply of blood for our more serious cases. We import from St. Mungo's, I'm sure a warming spell will make it alright for consumption."
I cringed at the thought of drinking bagged blood, but from his expression I needed nourishment before I faced the general population of the school as it had been almost five days without sustenance.
I didn't fully realize how parched I was until I sunk my teeth in the bag draining the warmed coppery fluid. It was alright for a snack or for the desperate times, but not fulfilling. Not like fresh from the fount, for the lack of a better term.
Dumbledore watched in mute fascination as I finished and handed him the empty bag. It made me wonder how many vampires he has been exposed to in the past. He promptly disposed of it and led me out of the Infirmary.
We parted ways in the Entrance Hall, he went to dinner and I went to bed, grateful that the common room and dormitory were empty.
I lay in bed picturing all the images I had seen in the enchanted mirror. I drew my legs up to my chest, tears falling to stain my pillow. My heart ached. I would watch the one person I had come to care about grow up, get married to another woman, have children, grow old and die uttering another woman's name with his final breath. If this ache, this hurt stayed with me, was it worth living an eternity if nothing could fill this void?
The irony was that it wasn't necessarily Draco himself as for what he represents. He is human and that he represents the human side of me and he could never accept the other part of me. Also it reminds me that I don't belong in this world because I can't be just human. I'm something else. Something more as well as something less, I suppose.
Humanity is what I long for the most. I felt alive with him and I felt free. And reality just crashed into me, shattering that illusion. Will I ever get used to what I am, and accept it? Will I ever see the few benefits worth all the negatives? I could only hope so, for if not it will be a long eternity. But the sad part is, I'm running out of hope. This crusade I'm on, having decided definitive action only after it became personal. My personal vendetta against any who would harm one I would attach myself to. I needed to seal my heart and not get close to another again.
5
