Chapter 16

Bloodletting

On my way to breakfast, Dumbledore intercepted me. He asked politely to see me after breakfast in his office. I dreaded this meeting since I had no useful information. I really didn't want to confide in an old man about my sex life. Not that I had much of one, outside of Voldemort now. I didn't think it really counted either. I knew it would come up in the conversation somewhere. Severus wasn't about to let me off that easily.

I was still trying to shake the image and feel of him within me. Every time I closed my eyes it was like a repeating slideshow. Admittedly, it was an experience to remember, but only in my darker memories. But the fact of the matter was that I didn't decide to have sex with him. I had no choice but to comply. I complied for the mission, and for my life.

I am all for casual sex. Hell knows that I am, but this is just a role I'm supposed to play. I'm not supposed to become this character. It frightens me that the dark part of me likes it. The dark part of me liked courting danger.

The difference between what last night was and a typical casual sexual experience was that if your partner wasn't happy he wouldn't torture or kill you. Big difference.

It made me feel defiled and whorish. I wasn't pleased that my actions were known by Lucius and soon Severus would know. They would either mock me or throw it in my face.

I hope to any Deity that would listen to me, that Draco never becomes aware of my current actions. Not like it matters anymore, considering he has now resumed his relationship with Pansy. Pansy will most likely get knocked up as soon as she can to ensure her capture of him. The thought of that sickens me.

Breakfast past during my mental wanderings. I didn't notice if anyone has spoken to me. I hoped that I was left alone. When my eyes refocused to reality, Harry was watching me.

"I'm sorry, Harry. Did you say something?"

"No, not yet, you seemed distracted."

"I guess I was."

"What are you doing later?"

"Not much to do around here. Why?"

"I was thinking of going out to the pitch later. I didn't know if you fly or not."

Snape seemed to shake out of his own wanderings to hear the last part of Harry's question. He was trying to send warning signals in my head, but I swatted them away.

"Sure, Harry. When?"

"After lunch?"

"That sounds fine to me."

He nodded and quickly left the table. Severus sat back in his chair and he gave me a speculative and angry look.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Are you done playing with your eggs? I am to escort you to the Headmaster's office."

"I was actually working on a rendition of the Berlin Wall."

He looked at me like I was out of my mind, "It crumbled years ago."

I gestured to the eggs in a lumpy mess, "Then I have done it justice."

"Indeed," he said but I could tell he understood the joke.

We both stood and walked to Dumbledore's interrogation.

Snape spoke the password and we both climbed the steps. When we entered the office, Dumbledore was nowhere in sight. We both took seats in front of the large desk.

"I didn't realize this was a joint interrogation."

"Interrogation? What have you done to deserve interrogation? This is merely a meeting."

"What is wrong with you lately? Were you always this much of a prick or is it my imagination that you were much more pleasant with your dick in my mouth?"

He almost cracked a smile, "Don't be so crude, especially here in the Headmaster's office."

I'd like to know where the term 'Head Master' came from, but I shut up for now. I sighed and looked around.

"Care to tell me what occurred last night that you got back in such a state?"

"He fed me," was all I would answer.

"Who?"

He was being deliberately naïve. "You know damn well. It was the Dark Lord, of course."

"Any extra enchantments this time?"

"No." I had assumed he meant the last time I fed, when I was branded.

"Can you be certain? The last time he gave you blood, it wasn't much and you were not lucid for a time."

"I received much more of his blood this time. He did nothing to suggest another spell."

"How can you be certain? I've seen you feed, you are unaware of anything else around you."

"He was busy at the time, Severus. Alright? It is not something I wish to discuss, ever."

He looked genuinely surprised, "I didn't believe he was capable of that."

"Well, you were wrong. It's one thing to expect something like that, but to go in unprepared and blind is a whole different story."

"I am so sorry, Mercedes. I truly had no idea," he seemed genuinely remorseful. Which after the last few days and his attitude toward me, I didn't know what to think.

"It really isn't something you need to be sorry for. It is not your fault. It is not the type of information you are privy to."

We sat contemplating for a few moments before the office door opened and shut. Dumbledore made his way to sit in his chair before he spoke. "I apologize for the delay. I was apprehended by Minerva to discuss an article in 'Transfiguration Today'."

"No need, Albus," Severus commented.

"Now, how does everything stand at the moment?"

"Not much to report on my end. The same things that we were aware of for some time, Lucius is still spending a large amount of time at the Ministry. He is rapidly gaining influence over most departments. His tactics aren't the same as a few years ago. He is not using threats or coercion, but charisma. He is working on his clean image since his stint in Azkaban a few years ago."

"And you, Miss Xavier? Where do you stand with Tom?"

I cleared my throat to begin, "I…I…," I started coughing. The Headmaster conjured a glass of water for me and I sipped it.

"I h…," my throat felt like it was closing. I couldn't inhale nor exhale for a few seconds. When the constriction let up on my throat I began coughing again, covering my mouth with my hands politely. I felt something thick and wet on my hands before pulling them away to glance at them.

Blood covered my hands. I looked up at Severus and Dumbledore in horror. I didn't understand what was happening. Severus, who was closer, could see my blood covered hands. He reached into his pocket pulling out a handkerchief and wiped a spot of blood from the corner of my mouth. Why did he look so concerned about me? Or was it merely concern about the mission and the war?

Dumbledore looked concerned and worried when I tilted my wrists to show him my palms. Severus cleaned my hands gently with the handkerchief. He finished with a murmured spell, getting the smears off, leaving them clean.

"Oh God," I whispered. I wanted answers and from the looks on either face, I wasn't sure they had them. Or maybe they had answers I wouldn't want to hear.

"Do you believe that this is a side effect of her marking or something more?" Dumbledore's question was directed to Snape.

"I had feared it could have been something like this."

Dumbledore looked so sad, when just moments ago he was jovial. I wanted to say something. I wanted to know what Snape meant by him fearing it. That would lead one to believe that he knew things that I did not. But I couldn't get past the feeling of my throat closing in order to ask.

I also wanted to avoid coughing anymore of my insides out. They must have interpreted the look of panic on my face correctly to explain.

"I had originally thought that you were marked differently because of what you are. Your flesh might not hold the traditional Dark Mark. Then I came to believe you were branded with an extra spell to bind you to him stronger. I thought that he feared your power growing and would ensure your subservience to him. It would safeguard him from being overthrown by you. I still believe that is the case."

I still wasn't very happy with his explanation. I should have been more informed about this. I had assumed what his first conclusion was, that I had to be marked with a different method. That still leaves the question of how was it possible to discuss pertinent information just a little while ago. Since I couldn't speak, I couldn't ask the question.

"Her infiltration has been all for naught," Dumbledore said. "We have created a spy who can't give us information."

"Maybe not directly, Albus."

"What are your suspicions, Severus."

"We conduct an experiment for a moment. With your permission, Mercedes, we can come to a conclusion today. Just nod if you concur."

I nodded hesitantly, but I wanted to know exactly what my situation was. I trusted Severus. I may not always like him, but I did trust him.

"Repeat after me, 'Professor Dumbledore'."

"Professor Dumbledore," came out without a problem.

"Harry Potter," I could see where he was going with this. He was naming central figures in the war to come.

"Harry Potter," I repeated.

"Voldemort," he winced at the name, like so many people do.

I had to clear my throat once before repeating, "Voldemort." I winced as well but it wasn't out of fear.

"Severus Snape is a Death Eater."

"Sev…" I coughed once and the action brought a mild tang of blood on my tongue. I did not want another coughing fit and shook my head to convey that I could go no further.

"Now from what we discussed before Albus came in. I want you to repeat a phrase you were able to use, it won't be exact but the meaning is there. Repeat, 'I drank blood from the Dark Lord'."

Almost immediately my throat closed when I opened my mouth to repeat. The only sound I made was a wheeze of inhalation. After I took an allowed breath I coughed violently, spurting blood and a few clots of something else into my hands.

Severus looked at Albus and cleaned me up once more. "Would you step out of the office for a moment, Albus?" At his skeptical look, he complied.

"Just tap on the desk to alert me to reenter."

After he left and the door closed tight, Severus asked that I repeat the same lines in the same order. I was able to speak freely it seemed. I didn't attempt anything further until after I spoke the last line, "I drank blood from the Dark Lord."

"Well, that isn't as bad as we feared."

"So I can speak freely with you but not the Headmaster?"

"It would appear so. I believe you can only speak of the Dark Lord or his faction with other members of it."

"What about what you said before? About him ensuring my obedience, what did you mean?"

"I believe that you will be unable to do anything to personally cause the demise of the Dark Lord. The inability to harm him and cause him harm through information is the result of his binding."

"So I can still pass information along. Only now it has to remain through you alone. And I can't raise a hand or other weapon against him." It was very smart of Voldemort to do it that way. Very insightful. Not completely foolproof but damn close. If the Light did not already have an undercover Death Eater, I would not be of any use.

"That is my conclusion as well."

"It really doesn't change much. When the students return, I can't have meetings with Dumbledore anyway." And I was not about to go and try to take him out by myself. So the other binding didn't pose a problem.

"I'm going to invite Albus back into his office. I'll report our findings. One thing first, though."

"What?"

"Do not become involved with Potter or any other Gryffindors more than you have already."

"This sounds familiar. It is just a few circuits around the pitch. We are both bored."

"What does that mean? 'That sounds familiar'? I can see your intentions clearer than you realize. Just because we are restricted to fornicate anymore, you cannot explore your options on this matter. Especially with Potter."

"I was warned away from them last night. I'll just be more careful."

"Careful to you means to go flying in the open where anyone in Hogsmeade with ominoculars could see you?"

"Gods, Severus, are you jealous? You are acting like a possessive ex-lover. Nothing will happen with Harry. I'm not going to jump anyone anytime soon, especially not Harry. He doesn't trust me anyway."

"Nothing good will come from this. If you have already been warned, consider yourself lucky that you got that courtesy. Do not tempt him to punish you. If he has restricted your actions with those who are loyal to him, imagine what he would make of an infraction with Potter."

"Alright, Severus."

"I notice you are not agreeing to anything really. By saying 'alright' now you assume that the issue will be closed. And you forget who you are dealing with. I am not so naïve that such a reply will satisfy me. I hope you answered better to the Dark Lord. I guess you have since you are still alive."

"I answered him. I said, 'As you wish, My Lord'. And he dismissed me."

"Since he will feel like he has claimed you now, he will be more possessive and watch your promiscuous actions closely."

"I know, Severus. Leave it for now. I don't want to think about it anymore today."

Once Dumbledore reentered his office I was dismissed. Seeing as I was of no use at the time, I didn't have to stay while Severus relayed our findings.

I went to my dormitory to change into more appropriate flying attire. I charmed my hair into a French braid since flying would hopelessly tangle it. I had to pull the top of my boots through the jeans legs before I could put them on. Once my feet were in the boots, I could lace them up to my knees and I just had to pull up my pants. Having any kind of relations was not so much of an option with this set up. Not that I was afraid that I couldn't keep my pants on today. But I liked the look and it just wasn't easy to get undressed gracefully anyway.

I pulled on a black turtleneck and a loose red sweatshirt. I threw on a set of plain black robes over my outfit and grabbed my broom. It has been ages since I flew last. It was almost a forgotten pleasure. I went to the Great Hall as lunch was being served. I could drink some orange juice before I went out to the pitch.

After I past Severus' chambers, I heard his door click shut. I had to concentrate to find out if he was following me or had he just peaked out to watch me walk by. If asked Severus does not 'peak'. The thought of a similar conversation brought a smile to my face.

He was following me. I wondered if he would spy on me while I was out on the pitch with Harry. Most likely was my conclusion.

Harry was amidst eating when I entered and sat across from him. I poured myself some juice and sipped. "With us sitting at separate tables during school I never noticed how much you don't eat," he commented.

I had hoped no one really noticed my lack of appetite lately but I guess I was wrong. "I haven't been very hungry lately."

He shrugged, figuring if I wanted him to know I would tell him.

"That's a nice broom," he gestured to an unoccupied table beside us that I had set my broom on when I came in.

"Yours too," I said. His broom leaned on the table next to him. I could see the Firebolt insignia on the handle.

"Have you come to any games yet?"

"No, I've missed the few we've had so far. The next one is in February, right?"

"Yeah, the first ones were for fun. The next ones will be for the Cup."

The professors were seated to one side of the table discussing house rivalries. It was completely uninteresting for me, so I tuned it out, waiting for Harry to finish.

After Harry swallowed his last bite and drank the rest of his pumpkin juice he stood, "I'm ready if you are."

I stood and grabbed my broom as we walked to the front doors. When we reached the outside, we mounted our brooms and flew to the Quidditch Pitch. It was darkly overcast and cold, but I really didn't mind.

Once we reached our destination, Harry turned toward me. The look on his face was pure innocent bliss. I haven't seen a look quite like that for as long as I can remember. I felt my smile returning his as we flew around each other showing off.

I could feel that it was close to sundown when we finally flew side by side smiling and laughing. It had been so long since I felt this carefree. Harry's hair was more unruly than usual. His windswept face was flushed from the cold and exercise. Even his brilliant green eyes sparkled a bit more.

He flew ahead slightly and turned around so we sat facing each other, our outer thighs in contact.

He lifted a hand off the broom and caressed my cheek. I felt his heart speed up in anticipation as he leaned forward slowly, so slowly. It was as if he were afraid I would bolt. His eyes glanced from my eyes to my lips and back again. My own heart hammered in my chest and I moistened my lips as he closed in. Our eyes fluttered closed as we made contact.

His lips were warm and gentle against mine delivering the softest of kisses. He pulled back a fraction to search my eyes and closed in once more, this time a little more insistent but no less gentle. His hand cupped my cheek and I removed one of my own hands from the broom to rest on his thigh to steady myself.

I didn't feel the flair of heat like I have when kissed by Draco. It wasn't the consuming lust and demand I felt with Severus. This was like a gentle rocking of a boat on a calm sea, not the turbulent upheaval on a ship in the midst of a tidal wave.

Nice, but not earth shattering. You can tell where my earth shattering relationships have ended. This was a welcome change.

When he pulled away and smiled, I smiled back. It seemed like he was happy with that. No more requests, not more expectations. It was refreshing.

"We had better head back or there will be a search party sent," I said quietly almost afraid to break the moment.

He replied, "Yeah. This was nice. Maybe we can do it again sometime."

"Flying or kissing," I said teasing.

His grin broadened, "Both."

"I agree."

We rode casually back. Our return flight was much calmer than our flight out. It was a comfortable silence that we descended on as he would sneak a glance at me and I would feel his eyes on me and glance back sharing shy smiles.

We didn't have time to change before we entered the Great Hall once more for dinner. Our brooms rested side by side this time at the adjacent empty table.

Severus did not show for dinner and it reminded me of the possibility that he was spying on us at the pitch. I didn't believe that anyone else was watching today. It was not planned or advertised that we were going to be there today. So I was sure we were safe.

Harry and I didn't talk much during dinner. Dumbledore had instigated a discussion over wizard versus muggle candies. He was fascinated and perplexed over nougat.

I said goodnight to everyone and descended the stairs to Slytherin. I wasn't quite ready for bed yet. So I decided to do some light reading in the common room. Soon my eyes felt heavy and my body felt completely relaxed, I drifted off.

I became aware again in what seemed like a short time later. I wasn't sure what disturbed me and I just lay there feeling peaceful. There was a tingling sensation on the back of my neck. I rubbed it to alleviate the tickle. I felt my brand and realized that I must have been called. The tingling sensation felt like bugs crawling over my skin and was soon replaced by a mild burning. The burning didn't hurt yet, it just felt hot in that area. Obviously his call was becoming more insistent. I wondered how long it had taken me to awaken. I got up with a groan and retrieved my heavy fox lined cloak and headed out the main staircase. No one was really in the castle, so subterfuge was almost unnecessary. I didn't realize what time it was, I hadn't thought to check before I came out. Hogwarts was so very quiet that it must have been late. I started to imagine my breathing echoing in the corridors.

Once outside my brand became more painful, and I walked at a brisk pace to reach to borders of the apparition barrier. I had only thought that it was a good idea to use my broom once I was halfway there. Next time I will do just that. I was obviously still in the process of waking up and was slow on the uptake. Not a very good idea to be summoned to the feet of a megalomaniac only half conscious. The half run did accomplish waking me the rest of the way.

Once I pulled out my wand and touched it to the brand I was immediately disapparated. Once my equilibrium was balanced I knelt and bowed my head. I wasn't sure what was expected of me tonight and I was kind of worried about this.

Very dark, very rich robes and boots shifted into my line of sight I knew that it was the Dark Lord I knelt before. The robes were a dead giveaway if you didn't feel the low thrum of his magic first. With the way my hair fell in front of my shoulder, I knew that my brand was exposed. I had the instinctual feeling that he would like this and was rewarded with this assumption when he caressed it.

"Pet, we are to hunt tonight."

"What does My Lord wish to hunt?"

"You will see," was his evasive reply.

I felt the shift of movement and knew that I was not alone in my position on the ground. I could not accurately tell how many there were without moving my head, and I wasn't going to chance it.

"We are just on the outskirts of the town we will attack this night. You will be paired and sent on your way. Once finished you will return here and await your next order. You know who your partners are, go," he commanded

I did not have a partner yet, and if I did, I wasn't aware of who it was. I decided the best action was to take no action at this point.

"Rise pet."

I did so and when I was at my full height I looked up into his eyes. He was about a head taller than me, probably a bit more. He smiled down at me, "You will be paired with Lucius. Here are your robes, mask and gloves." He took the items from Lucius' hands and handed them to me. "I trust you don't have to be told to keep them hidden."

"Thank you, My Lord. I will keep them hidden."

He gave a nod and I put the items on. Lucius gestured for me to follow and I did, leaving the Dark Lord behind in a country park. I did not know where we were, and I didn't ask. As we walked we could hear a scream in the distance then it was silent once more. We approached a small cottage and Lucius went in first. He entered a bedroom with a man and woman in a double bed. I watched and waited for him to make the first move. He approached the man's side and gestured for me to approach the other side. I understood we were to attack simultaneously. He pulled his wand out and I did likewise, "Avada Kedavra."

Just like that, it was over for this couple. I felt a slight bit of remorse for killing them, but something inside me was disappointed that I didn't get to taste their deaths.

Lucius looked up at me with a sinister grin on his face.

"What next?" I asked.

"We go to the next house."

"Next time we kill my way."

"What way is that? Do your delicate sensibilities want us to cover their faces before we cast?" His mocking tone was one I didn't like but I would have to deal with his attitude later.

"You will see."

When we entered the next available house I took the lead, considering that this was what I have done for so many years in the past, I knew what I was doing. Only Lucius didn't know that, yet.

Once outside the closed door I whispered to Lucius, "Do you have a dagger?"

He hissed his answer, "Yes." He moved his outer robe to the side to show me a dagger hilt sticking out of his belt.

"Good."

I removed my gloves as we walked toward the bed, Lucius taking the man leaving me with the woman again. He held his dagger aloft ready for the signal. I flicked my wrists twice and my nails were longer and much sharper. I didn't have to flick my wrists, but it looked better. I nodded to Lucius once and we both attacked with our chosen weapon. His blow came straight down for the man's heart. I used my nails to tear into the woman's throat. The man shuddered and sighed dying quickly. The woman opened her eyes and tried to scream but the gurgling of her blood coming from her open esophagus prevented her from making any more noise. I pulled my mask off quickly and lunged for the fount. I opened my mouth and swallowed, she tried in vain to pull me off but she passed out quickly from blood loss. I made sure she had no heartbeat before we left. I did not want any survivors to tell the tale and point the finger in my direction.

Lucius' reaction was priceless. His wide eyes of surprise thrilled me. Then he laughed. We walked out and Lucius all but did a happy dance. What the fuck was wrong with him? I had no idea. Okay, I probably could guess. He was ecstatic having a partner that he wouldn't have to clean up after or baby sit. One that could match him in violence and gore, a sociopath's dream come true. Lucky me.

"One more then we are done," he sounded disappointed. But I was glad; I didn't want to face my worst fear anytime soon.

The swing set on the side of the house would have been an indication that I had thought too soon, had I seen it. We silently entered the house and did the same, killed the husband and wife in much the same manner in which we did the last couple. I was fine until Lucius headed, not for the front door, but to another interior closed door. I followed him as he opened the door. A little boy of about age six lay innocently unaware of his world. His hair fanned the pillow and his steady rise and fall of his chest told that he was deeply asleep.

I knew I couldn't do it. I didn't want Lucius to harm him either. But there were no options right now. Having Lucius as a partner would prevent me from any type of rescue. That may have been the motivation behind pairing us together. I was afraid of what Lucius might do to this baby. Lucius surprised me this time by casting a quick Avada Kedavra and looking at me without emotion and left the room.

I somberly followed him out. Seeing that child killed any kind of good feeling that the last two victims blood caused. Adults were one thing, but kids I had a soft spot for. I hated to kill innocent little people. It is much better to give them a chance to grow up and become less innocent and have more of a fighting chance. Admittedly it is not much better no matter how you look at it, that a life is a life whether it is six or sixty-six. I would have saved him if I could. I really would have. If I was paired with almost anyone else a quick Obliviate would have solved the problem. But Lucius would know something wasn't right and would have my deceit uncovered. This is war and people will die. If I have to kill people to get the information needed to prevent other deaths or win the war, then I will do it. I did not want to sacrifice myself for one person when I was doing an often enough job of sacrificing myself for many.

Innumerable Dark Marks glittered in the sky as we walked back to the park. Aurors would be here soon. Someone would see the green symbol from miles away and report the attack. We entered the park and bowed once to Voldemort and reported our causalities. He approved of the actions and dismissed the Death Eaters. I couldn't make out Severus in the throng. I was the only one who was not wearing my mask any longer. I was dismissed next with an approving pat on the head. Lucius remained behind. I was sure that he would report my part in the night's events. The Dark Lord wanted to know how I did and would not trust my opinion

I apparated to Hogwarts and encountered no one on my way to bed. I was so tired. I did not want to see the cherubic face of that little boy again ever in my lifetime. But I knew I would. I would see him in my dreams. Only in my dreams my subconscious would try to find ways to have saved him. Many scenarios would be played out until I was absolutely convinced that I had no options.

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