Will You Marry Me?

"... Uh... Gaara-san ..."

The Kazekage lifted his head as if it meant cutting a limb off with a penknife. "What?" It didn't sound like the kind of "What" from "What is it?" It sounded like the "What" from "What the fuck did you just call me?" Indeed, Gaara has a way with words.

"Mumblemumbledeedumcok?"

"If you say it like that, the answer is probably no."

Shikamaru squirmed under the aquamarine glare. "I asked: May I marry... achyoooou!"

Gaara recoiled in horror. I'm sure you know what that sounded like, though the Jounin obviously didn't. Red-rimmed, watery eyes looked up at the nauseous Kazekage, as Shikamaru held a tissue to his nose and blew.

"I sincerely hope you didn't mean that."

" 'Course I did! Hell, I actually think this is IT."

"So do I," Gaara said faintly, wondering if he should just kill him then and there. Mad people shouldn't be allowed to roam the streets, it's not good for the children.

An elated, blissed-out expression erupted on Shikamaru's face. Gaara forced himself to stay put on the ground.

"Really? So ... is it a 'yes'?"

Gaara hesitated. Shikkaku screamed bloody murder.

He took measured paces away from Shikamaru, who was probably not supposed to be wearing such a happy expression.

"Are you, uh ... sure about this?" Because I wouldn't really want to kill you here and now. Bad for the reputation. "What I mean is, are you sure you know what you are saying?" he clarified.

Shikamaru fought for mental control. Did he look like the kind of person who knew what to say when he was asking a social lackwit who was also happened to be the most powerful Kazekage in Sumagure history, for his sister's hand in marriage? He sneezed again. Sand in his nose. "Well, actually I don't know how--"

Gaara cut him off. "Maybe you should ask somebody else." FOOD, yelled Shukkaku. The happy Jounin perked up.

"Oh, right! But I thought I should ask you first anyway, since you're the Kazekage and you're more ... how should I say it ... experienced in things like these, but I suppose I should've asked Kankuruo instead. But thank you anyway!" ... And he skipped off.

Skipped off. Gaara glared at his disappearing silhouette. Totally gay, he told himself. Yuck.

-sighs. Wasn't that really stupid? Anyhoo. Shikamaru's getting married. Yay.