-Chapter Two: Another Name for Azkaban
(Ooohh…redundant chapter title and story title!)
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All in all, James Potter was feeling pretty good about
himself after waking up in the morning and remembering that he was engaged. His
girlfriend was going to marry him, Quidditch boxers and all.
Grinning at his reflection in the mirror, he messed up his hair, shook it out
and then messed it up again for the ultimate in "just-got-off-the-broom" hair.
No matter what Sirius said, things were going to go smoothly! Really! This time, they honestly were. Maybe it was just a fluke that things seemed to turn explosive whenever he and Lily seriously considered, well, just about anything.
That was it. A fluke.
Of course, it didn't entirely explain why their simple trip into Hogsmeade so she could buy some new socks had become way more difficult than it really should have, but then again, it could just be a particularly nasty fluke. Marriage could cancel that out, though. Love conquered all!
Humming one of the Beatles songs that Moony was fond of, James grabbed for his mirror and was about to try to get in touch with Sirius for Bragging About Engagement: The Sequel, when Lily's face appeared in it instead. She was smiling widely, and her reddish-gold hair was slightly crooked and curly from sleep.
Hmm. Sirius could wait.
"James?" She asked. "James!"
"Yeah, I'm right here, Lily,"he replied, messing up his hair a little more, for good luck. Just in case…
"You won't believe the dream I just had!" She said, laughing.
"Try me," James answered smugly. "I really doubt it can beat that one I had with Peter in a nunnery and Sirius and Professor Dumbledore fishing for house-elves out the window."
No reply. She just gave him an odd stare.
"Never mind," he continued hastily. "So tell me."
"It actually had me really frightened!" Lily confessed, laughing some more and brushing a strand of red hair from her face.
He smiled indulgently.
"You won't believe this, James…I dreamed we got engaged!"
Grinning, he waited for the rest of it, finally deciding to prompt her.
"And then?"
"What do you mean and then?"
"And then what happened? In your dream…we got engaged, and then what happened?"
Over on her side of the mirror, Lily's eyes grew wide. She took a brief glance down at her left hand, and bit back a scream of shock. Huge, show-offy diamond alert! Oh no! This was real! And her dear old mum, of course, had burst out laughing. Lucky Sirius…his mum had disowned him. But this ring…the shock hit her all over again. The big, sparkly diamond meant dress-shopping! And throw bouquets! And other bouquets! And flower girls! And most of all, two eighteen year olds…herself and JAMES POTTER, trying to organize an entire wedding in less than a year.
She was sure that she would die before James actually proved himself of organizing his sock drawer, let alone a huge ceremony that would bind them together for, well, eternity.
But back to her "dream". She had to improvise, and fast!
"I dreamed that we got engaged," she continued, and tried to affect a worried, downcast look. "That we got engaged, and you broke it off! And…and…I realized I would have to spend the rest of my life alone if I couldn't have you!"
Wow. That sounded convincing. It felt convincing. Lily gave herself a small hug of congratulations.
James smiled tenderly through the mirror at her, and she returned the look.
"You know that would never happen, Lily," he said reassuringly. "I love you!"
"I love you, too, James," she answered, before setting the mirror down.
Yes, she did love him and she believed it.
She just wasn't fully sure she was ready for the entirety of it yet.
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Sirius Black was a man on a mission. Well, two missions to be exact.
The first and most important one: Get a girl that would be something more than a one-night stand. Sure, it meant having to remember names and important dates, and cuddling on the couch instead of playing Quidditch with James, but the long-term benefits outweighed the bad by at least a little bit.
The second mission: Find out who the hell sneaky Remus was dating.
"Oh, Moony," he crooned to himself as he picked up his mirror, "you may keep secrets from Prongs, but you can't keep anything from your dear Padfoot, can you?"
Flashing himself a debonair grin in the mirror, he sent another fervent prayer heavenward in hopes that Remus Lupin was not dating redheaded, hard-to-handle Creidwy Caliban. Because if he was, Sirius' girlfriend options were starting to look pretty dismal.
"Remus Lupin," he stated clearly into the mirror.
Within seconds, Remus's pale, grinning face appeared on the shiny surface of the mirror that had been Charmed to hell and back so that Sirius could have some means of communication with his friends outside of sticking his head in a fireplace.
"Sirius!" He crowed, clearly sounding delighted about something. "Thank goodness! I think I'm going to go insane. There's going to be a whole gaggle of former Slytherins over here tonight, and –"
"Gaggle?" Sirius interrupted, smirking. "Did you just say gaggle?"
The werewolf frowned at him, not amused. 'Yes. Yes I did."
His black-haired friend gave a few short barks of laughter. "Gaggle…ahahahaha, sorry, Remus!"
"You are forgiven," the brown-haired man declared composedly, then continued his earlier mad rush of words.
"There's a whole gaggle of former Slytherins over here tonight, and I don't think I can handle being locked up in a room with Lucius "Git-ius" Malfoy, Snivellus "Git-ius" Snape, your cousins Narcissa and Bellatrix and my mercurial girlfriend!"
"Former Slytherins at your flat, mate?" Sirius asked, frowning. "Sounds a bit dodgy."
"Yeah, well…" Remus said, sounding apologetic, "It's all my bird's fault, you know."
Score! There would be an admission this time.
"This loony bird of yours, Moony, old mate," said Sirius slyly, "who is she?"
Remus smiled, halfway fondly and halfway as if he still couldn't get used to the idea himself.
"Creidwy Caliban," he admitted shyly.
"Creidwy Caliban!" His friend exploded. "Remus! How…how could you?"
"Padfoot, I KNOW she was in Slytherin, I KNOW she's three years older than me and taught our Potions class, but –"
"How could you take the sexy older woman with a license to buy liquor from me? From ME? AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!!"
" I didn't take her from you!" A harassed Remus hastened to explain. "You never had her! How come Celina left you, anyway?"
Sirius muttered something about leaving him for some pansy French guy Cat Animagus who wore a beret and a neckerchief. Remus nodded "understandingly". He had become fluent in Sirius-mumble-babble over the years.
"Yeah, well, you can have Creidwy for tonight," the werewolf muttered. "I swear, I care deeply for her, but she and her mates are going to drive me insane tonight. I can't sit at a nice Japanese dinner with Severus Snape sneering at me over the flower arrangement."
He ignored Sirius' joking comment about how on his and Creidwy's budget, a "nice Japanese dinner" was probably the code for instant Ramen.
"What made you decide to date her, anyway?" Sirius probed. If it was inconsequential enough, he could wrest Creidwy away, and then her lips and liquor license would be ALL HIS.
"I dunno," Remus said shyly, "I didn't even know her that well during school, but she was always, er, really nice to me…and I ran into her recently and remembered how pretty she was! And I didn't want to be alone anymore."
"So how's the relationship now?" Oh, sneaky, sneaky Padfoot!
"I'm thinking of getting a goldfish."
"You mean…the two of you having a goldfish because you can't afford a baby?"
"I mean having a goldfish instead of a girlfriend," Remus sighed.
"More low-maintenance?"
"Exactly. You know, Sirius, being single is more of a blessing than you realize"
"How's that?" Sirius returned dangerously, mourning his flat's lack of feminine touches.
"Relationship is just a fluffier, cuddlier name for Azkaban."
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"Vernon," fifteen-year-old Petunia Evans whined to her boyfriend, "my weird sister is getting married to her weird boyfriend. And they're going to have some weird wedding with all their weird friends, and mum said that my sister said I have to be in the wedding."
"Sucks to be you," Vernon said cheerily, "but nothing for it, is there?"
Petunia grinned evilly.
"Oh, I don't know…see, if I have to go, so do you."