Hey! The reviews are starting to come in, sort of. That's good news…I'm ECSTATICALLY happy to know that people are reading this and enjoying it. This fic=my first romantic comedy. Too bad it's a fanfiction, otherwise I might attempt publishing it.

Yoshiko: Thanks for the emails grins. Haha, I hear Potions Professor, I think Severus.

Bob-chan: You ARE a weirdo…but not just because you read stories online. The wedding planner will be an absolute necessity very quickly!

LunasStar: Have I thought of being a comedian? Actually, yes! I could go on The Last Comic Standing and talk about goldfish smiles But I actually find opera easier, because my brain just works that way. So glad to hear you're still enjoying the story!

Do y'all think Creidwy is really that much of a madwoman? And one more thing…does Severus Snape remind anyone else of the Phantom of the Opera? He's surly, he skulks around in dark dungeons…

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"So, James," Sirius began, facing his friend. He, Remus, Peter and the aforementioned Potter had secluded themselves in a slightly stuffy, brightly lit room at the Leaky Cauldron Inn at the request of James himself, who had driven his three friends to the brink of madness and back by not telling them anything other than that they had better be there. "Are you planning on giving us a reason to be here, or do you just think we're all mental enough to go along with what you've got planned? Incidentally, if this is Operation Bird For Padfoot, I say three thumbs up, full steam ahead, let the panty raids commence!"

Peter, of course, found this incredibly amusing and nearly killed himself laughing over it. That was typical Wormtail…suck up to the big boys and hope it saves you a future beating by them.

James simply mussed his hair again, giving it the look of a strangely darkened bird's nest in a windstorm, and said "Nah, that's not quite it. But panty raids are still an option with what I've got planned." He grinned devilishly.

Ordinarily, Remus would have been the one to leap up, smack James upside the head and demand information and demand it NOW. He, however, had buried his head completely in an insanely thick novel by some Muggle professor and was dead to the world that existed outside its pages. The other three guessed he was trying to rid himself of thoughts of green eyes, sex and goldfish…and hoped he had not progressed to thoughts of sex with green-eyed goldfish.  Since he was, for once, uninterested, Sirius made it his personal duty to see to it that James was smacked and overwhelmed all in one go.

"Fine, fine, fine!" James shouted from his new hiding place under the table, wedged in between Peter's left leg and Sirius's right. "I'll tell you everything. You lot are completely mad…well, maybe not Moony. Actually," he continued, "I think our Moony is mad, it's just a different brand."

"Will you GET ON WITH IT?!" Sirius exploded, looking very much like he wanted to throw James bodily from the room.

"Yay! Carnage!" Remus exclaimed with delight, hugging the book to him tightly.

James and Sirius exchanged a look.

"I thought you said he'd got a goldfish?"

"He said he was going to!" Sirius protested. "They must still be together."

"She's a bad influence," James said sagely. "Yay, carnage? Anyway, gentlemen, shall we get on with it?"

Peter nodded enthusiastically, Sirius settled himself back in his chair with a satisfied smirk, and, with considerable effort, Remus extracted his head from the book.

"The Lord of the Rings," James read. "Interesting. Somehow I doubt I'll be reading that anytime soon. But my dear Marauders, we are here today because we have a very important mission."

He broke off there, obviously expecting a clamor of excited, interested voices.

Of course, none came…

"Our mission, should you choose to accept it –and of course you have to, otherwise I will cheerfully beat all three of you into a delightfully tender pulp and spoon-feed you to Snivellus– is a simple one. We are going to plan a wedding."

"Plan a wedding?!" Peter exclaimed in fright. "Plan a wedding?! We don't know enough to plan an entire wedding! Who's getting married?"

"I am, Wormtail," James explained in the patient tone reserved for mentally handicapped three year olds. "This is my wedding we're planning."

"Can't be done," Sirius replied cheerfully. "Now finding a girl for a handsome dog like me…that might be a little closer to reality…"

"You're wealthy," James snapped. "Find a random one and pay her."

"He doesn't realize how lucky he is," Remus said morosely. James nodded in agreement.

"I"ll give you that, Moony. He doesn't realize that girls leave things like bras just lying around where anyone can see them!"

"Or that they're really scary. Scary enough that when my transformation coincides with her…er…well, it's not a transformation, but I'm glad it's only once a month, it's almost enough to keep me human."

"And they have some weird obsession with their mums," James mused. "Always wanting to have a chat with mum, even if they hated her during their teen years. As soon as they get in a relationship, it's mum this, mum that, meet the family, blah blah blah…but do they say meet the SQUIRRELS? No. NEVER."

"And they get in the way of having a nice, quiet existence with a goldfish!" Remus declared somewhat passionately, once more about a sixtieth of the way resolved to do something he would probably never manage within three lifetimes.

His three friends all broke eye contact with him immediately, and began edging ever so slightly towards the door. Goldfish…

"And you want to get married?" Peter asked incredulously.

"Oh, yeah," James affirmed. "I love her, I might as well marry her. And even if women are all mad, they're okay to have around…right, Sirius?"

Sirius snarled and launched himself bodily at James, who just ducked behind a chair, laughing as his best friend plotted the sneakiest of sneaky revenges.

"First off," James continued. "What are we going to do about bridesmaids?"

"Prongs?" Peter began. "Prongs? Shouldn't that be left up to Lily?"

James looked confused.

"You know, Lily's the bride, she should pick her bridesmaids," Remus explained. "That's how things are done."

 "Not if she's putting her troll sister in the wedding," said Sirius darkly.

"It's not how this is done!" James protested, scandalized. "I don't want Lily to have to do any work! I mean, it's HER day, yadda yadda yadda, so she should just sit back and enjoy it and not worry about planning. So who are our bridesmaids? I know how we can get for the Maid of Honor!" he said brightly. "Cel–"

"NOT Celina Adrienne!" Sirius protested loudly. "I don't care if she was Lily's best friend at school, she was mental!"

"Oh, that's right," Peter whispered to Remus in a 'sympathetic' tone. "She left him…for a Cat Animagus!"

"Well, you know, Padfoot, dogs are man's best friend after all. I'm sure Snivellus or someone would love to have you," James said slyly.

Sirius had to be forcibly restrained by Remus knocking the table over on him.

"I thought you were talking about bridesmaids, not Sirius's sexual preferences." Remus commented drily.

"My sexual preferences are the bridesmaids!!!!"

"I didn't hear that," James said loudly. "Celina is the maid of honor…other bridesmaids…let's see. Olivia Jordan, PetuniabutonlybecauseLilysaidshewantshersisterintheweddingandyoudonthavetoshagALLthebridesmaids,Sirius. Remus, could we get Creidwy to do it?"

Remus shook his head. "Probably not. She and Lily are just acquaintances. If you want a wedding singer, though, she's your woman. Just specify that the music can't involve mad scenes, death scenes or mourning scenes from any opera or musical, and you're okay. She does weddings, and we REALLY need the money," he said pointedly, shooting a look at James. "And she knows another soprano and a tenor who'll sing with her in duets and trios."

"Okay," James said cheerfully, "one…er, three…wedding singers. I'll find another bridesmaid SOMEhow. Sirius is the best man. Peter, Remus and Matthew Jordan can be groomsmen…"

"I am NOT best man if Adrienne is the Maid of Honor!" Sirius yelled to no avail. "Why don't we dress Remus up as Maid of Honor? At least HE never ran out on me…on us!"

There was a pause for a few beats as James and Peter exchanged a glance and said simultaneously: "I don't want to know…I really don't!"

"Gee, thanks, Padfoot," Remus muttered. "I'm touched. Really."
Maybe he would get a betta, one of those nice little Siamese fighting fish, and push Sirius into a river somewhere.

"So what's the color scheme?" Sirius asked. "Women LOVE color schemes."

"It's orange and black, of course!" James told him, scandalized. "What else?"

"Chudley Cannons colors?" Remus deadpanned. "At your WEDDING? Lily will kill you…and so will the bridesmaids if they find out they have to wear orange!"

"So let them wear black."

"Not at a wedding! James!"

"I thought girls liked colors like pink and purple?" Peter asked.

"Ohohoho, so now Wormtail knows what women want!" Remus laughed. "When did this happen?"

"What about a…what's the word?" Sirius put in.

"A compromise!" the werewolf yelled, snapping his fingers. "James, women love compromise. So go with pink and purple…AND black and orange."

James nodded. It seemed to work. With the touchy girlfriend that Remus had landed himself with, he was an expert on compromise. "Now we need music."

Peter shook his head. "First food, then music."

"Barbecue!" Sirius called out. "Food is settled. Music, now."

James grinned to himself. And people had said planning weddings was hard? This was going to be a piece of cake. Cake? CAKE?! They needed a wedding cake! But he could just call a baker for that, so it was all right.

"Musically," he said slowly, "Remus, you can tell Creidwy and her friends to put away the opera. Maybe two songs at the most, and nothing that can shatter windowpanes. I want them to sing…I want them to sing…"

The entire room (well, the other three men in it, anyway) held its (their?) breath.

"LED ZEPPELIN!"

Remus shook his head slowly, light brown hair flopping into his eyes. Lily was going to kill him, that was for sure…

"Boys," he said dramatically, "I'm going to find us a professional."