Probie's Coffin

Chapter 7: Creatures of the Night

Disclaimer: "Hey, Kate, LMR owns NCIS!"

"Tony, you're an idiot! She does not!"

"Does, too!"

"Does not!"

"Does, too!"

"Does-"

Hey, guys! Shut up! Sorry, Tony, Kate's right. I don't. Now get a life!

A.N.: Once again I humbly thank you for such generous reviews! It looks as if my holographic universe theory is correct and the writers of the show are one with me! I write it, and sure enough, after McGee's macho hissyfit, it doesn't look like Jimmy is going anywhere near Abby anytime soon! Muahahahahaha! Naturally, I've been waiting for something like that to happen, so I missed the episode! D'oh! I'll catch it later, but anyway . . .

A.N. #2: Sorry, but "Nebraska" (though correct) is not a good enough answer to deserve a cookie. :( I was hoping somebody would guess the specific place. (Ber-wyn! Shut up, Sven!)

A.N. #3: Last one, I swear. This scene was originally going to be about Kate, but Jenn() gave me the idea to make a slight change. . . I like it this way. Thanks, Jenn().

A.N. #4: (I lied): Did anybody else totally HATE Tony last night (Conspiracy Theory)? I thought he went way too far.

Timing: This happens somewhere between Bikini Wax and travels into Conspiracy Theory. Spoilers for everything.

And finally, Walter, if you are reading this, I WILL turn you from a Kibbs 'shipper to a Tate 'shipper. Just. Like. That.

Chapter 7: Creatures of the Night

"Hey, Gibbs! I got that file you wanted." Abby called as she walked into the office.

"He's in the restroom, Abbs," Kate informed her. Abby looked between the two agents.

"What'd you do this time?" She asked Tony.

"Ha, ha," Tony responded flatly, not thinking about the fact that she hadn't been in the room for the goosing incident.

Abby turned to the newest agent. "Hey, McGee," she said tentatively. Since their talk the previous day, Abby wasn't sure what to think of the way he acted around her. For just one second, it had seemed he was going to say something really . . . well, say something, anyway. Then he's just dropped the topic like the ton of proverbial bricks. Stupid shyness. Stupid McGee.

"Hey." His eyes were focused securely on the floor.

Tony DiNozzo, Neanderthal, surveyed the scene. Somewhere in his primitive brain, it occurred to him that this situation really sucked. Abby, just by being Abby, would fix this stupid mess, but she needed a shove.

The kind only a Neanderthal can give.

He slipped into his most arrogant tone. "Hey, Probie. You look bummed. Why?" He made an attempt to sound concerned, but before a puzzled McGee could answer, Tony finished. "Oh, I forgot. You're you." He whacked him jovially over the head.

Kate scowled. Why did he have to be such a dick?

"Hey!" Abby reacted, going instantly into coddling mode. "Don't listen to him. He's just jealous because you have a functioning brain!" She put her hands on his face, glad to have an excuse to be affectionate. "You're perfect." She kissed his cheek. McGee smiled, happy puppy again.

After Abby had gone back to the lab, Tony patted McGee's shoulder and grinned. "You owe me, pal. Big time."

His intent dawned on Kate. She smiled. "Sometimes, Tony, I think you have a heart."

"High praise," he said with a grin. Kate put her head down and shuffled through her paperwork, as she turned a nice shade of pink. Stupid grin. Stupid Tony.

On Friday:

"Okay, Abbs," Eleanor said, opening the car door. "Get in fasten your seatbelt, and blast the slasher soundtracks!"

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" Abby wondered.

"Nope. You'll see when we get there, now don't be so impatient." They had been driving for 45 minutes (Use your imagination here, folks), when Abby looked out the window to a sign that said "Welcome to Nebraska."

"Nebraska? What the hell?"

Eleanor laughed. "I wondered what kind of reaction that would get. Chill. I'm not kidnapping you. We'll be back in town later tonight. It's worth it."

"It better be." And it wasn't too long after that they pulled into the parking lot of the last place Abby would have expected.

"A zoo? You brought me to a zoo?" Abby's face registered puzzlement, but not distain at the location.

Eleanor looked nervous for a moment. Had she really blown it that bad? "Well, there's more, I mean. . ."

Abby hurried to correct her. "Hey, it's okay, it's really cool. But why Nebraska?"

The gleam returned to Eleanor's eyes. "It's not just any zoo. I've been wanting to come here, but until now, I never met anyone who I thought would love it as much as I do. Come on, I'll show you!" She practically dragged Abby by the arm toward a gigantic dome. "Welcome to the world's only day/night-reversed nocturnal habitat!"

Most people might have looked at Eleanor as if she were crazy. Abby grinned wide. "That is so gnarly!"

Once their eyes got used to the darkness, Abby and Eleanor excitedly filed through the exhibit. They couldn't believe how close they could get to the animals. They even walked right through a bat cave. "They're so cute!" Abby remarked.

"I know," Eleanor responded, as if thinking bats are cute isn't in the slightest unusual.

"Hey, that one reminds me of Tony!" Abby pointed.

"The dogface one over there?"

"Yeah, that one, but that's not what I mean! I mean, look at the way he keeps flying after that female. And that one. And that one." Eleanor was in stitches. "But dog fits, too," Abby agreed.

"No, he's not a dog, he's a tortoise," Eleanor told her.

"You lost me."

"I saw this show – a male tortoise will get a female to mate with him by annoying her until she gives in. He hangs around her, pokes at her. He probably says mean things about her, too."

"And goes through her garbage!"

Eleanor was transfixed by something else by now. "So that's what a naked mole rat looks like. What a buff stud," she said, deadpan. The evening continued like this until they had gone through the bayou, the rainforest, and a few places neither one of them could pronounce. Finally, it was time to go, and they drove back to the scariest place on the planet.

Abby's apartment. It was already ten' o clock. As they walked up to the doorstep, Abby shrugged awkwardly. "You know, if you're too tired to drive back to Norfolk you can crash here."

A look of relief crossed Eleanor's face. "That'd be great. Do you have an extra bed?" she asked through a yawn.

"Well, no, just the cof- box sleeper sofa."

"You sure you don't mind?"

"It's no problem," Abby assured her. They entered the apartment. Eleanor didn't bat an eyelash at the decorations, most of which involved vampires. Most people freaked out.

"I've never slept in a 'box sleeper sofa' before.'" She made quotes with her hands, knowing what Abby meant.

"Surprisingly comfortable," Abby reassured her.

"Yay, slumber party!" But Eleanor abruptly frowned. "But you probably know all the good ghost stories already!"

"Yup. Try me anyway."

They settled in. "Okay, there was this little town with a creepy house. The townspeople said that every night, a head would fall down the chimney."

"And the dog said, 'lynchee, kinchee, collie, mollie, dingo, dingo'," Abby finished.

"Well, it sound's stupid when you say it like that," Eleanor pointed out.

"I'm too tired, anyway, Eleanor, good night."

"Hmm, g'night, Abbs."

Eleanor was the first to wake in the morning. She fixed herself some coffee and helped herself to an hour of Soul Edge 2 on Abby's computer. She couldn't beat Abby's score, and could imagine why: Eleanor knew she wouldn't want to be one of those little dudes if Abby were angry with someone.

When Eleanor went to see if Abby was awake yet, she found her still sleeping peacefully, but stirring a bit. She was smiling.

"You talk in your sleep, Silly," she murmured.

Eleanor was truly incredulous. "No, I don't."

Abby jolted awake. "Hmm? Oh, Eleanor." She was surprised. "I thought . . . never mind." She frowned, getting out of the coffin. She took a fistful of Eleanor's shirt and smelled it ungracefully. "What's your sniff spray?"

Eleanor scrunched her eyebrows. "Bod blue. I know it's men's but it was on clearance and-"

Abby groaned. "I'm sorry. It's the same." As she let the sentence drift, she knew she was busted. "It's not like that. We've never . . ."

Eleanor smiled. "Don't worry about it." She looked down at the carpet. "Look, I'm not going to be here much longer, and I was thinking . . . these dates were really great, but I'm thinking the not really thingy thing isn't working out."

Abby nodded, somewhat relieved.

"Not to be totally cliché, Abbs, but we're so much alike, and you're so great . . . Can we be good friends?"

"Of course." Abby hugged her.

Sorry it took so long to post everybody, but I've been busy with school. BTW, I have to record NCIS cuz I have a night class right smack on top of it, but it's good cuz I used the pause the other day on our Ms. Cruitio's (sp) screen. I swear I am not making this up:

Name: Abby0016

Sex: When I feel like it

Preference: Human

Likes: Black stripes, red stripes, Ducks, my boss

Fetishes?????(Naturally this part was below the screen. Believe me, I tried. I like to think it said dorky little computer nerds!)

Luv, LMR