Forbidden Love II

"Shu, shu Anna. It's okay. Shu…" After attempting to quiet the tearful newborn for several hours, Anna had finally grown quiet. Monica sighed, collapsing into the rocking chair.

"Everything okay, angel girl?" Tess asked as she stopped at Anna's door.

"I had no idea it would be this hard, Tess!" She sighed in pure exhaustion.

"It's only your first night at home together. It'll get easier, I promise, and if you need anything you know where to find me." Tess smiled Monica nodded at her.

Monica sighed in frustration now. 'How's it going to get any easier?' She thought. 'Caring for her will get easier, but how is living with out Andrew going to get easier? It's not, it's just going to become more and more painful for both of us!' She began to cry, and soon her tears started to fall on her baby. Anna began to fuss. Monica gently dried the tears off of her child's face.

"Mommy's sorry, Anna. She's going to pull herself together, just for you, okay?" She offered, realizing this is what she had to do, and it's what Andrew would want her to do. "You and I are going to have a wonderful life together, Anna. Yes we are."

………………….

Both of the revelations Monica had that night would come to prominence in the next year and a half. Monica was no longer as much of an 'emotional wreck' so to speak. She had succeeded in pulling herself together, if only for appearance sake. She had succeeded in locking her misery in her heart. Tess knew this, and she knew that her angel girl was in a bad situation. Even so, Monica had grown to truly be happy, as she loved motherhood even more than she had expected to. And threw this whole experience she and Tess had grown even closer, if that were possible. Caring for Anna had grown much easier, but as she grew and as she changed, missing him became worse, but she just kept bottling it inside, letting it out only when no one else was around, and only to the father.

She still told Anna every night that her daddy loved her. She had no trouble thinking of him once she looked into their baby's eyes, they were the same eyes. Monica sometimes felt that when she looked into them she was really looking at Andrew. The baby had also inherited her father's hair, even though hers was far lighter than her father's. They had not seen Andrew since the night that Anna was born, but they had heard from him.

Adam had become their middleman, so to speak. He delivered pictures and cards, presents and most often love letters from one of them to the other. He had sent Anna so many presents on her first birthday that she could've easily hid under all of them. The love letters he sent to her were passionate, and so heartfelt that she could almost feel him there with her, and she longed so much to be held by him, to kiss him, to hear his wonderful voice. Monica never tired of hearing from him, but it just wasn't enough. But if this were the closest they could be to each other for now, she'd gladly accept that so that they would not loose each other completely.

One night Monica and Anna could not sleep and they decided to get a little something to eat before trying to go to bed again. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, the door opened. Adam and Gloria came in the door. They were laughing a mile a minute. Monica smiled as she waited quietly for them to notice her. Finally, their laughing came to a close. They stopped and smiled at each other briefly. Finally he took her in his arms and

pulled her into a kiss. Monica looked down at her feet, this was all very uncomfortable for her.

"Good night." She said as their kiss ended.

"Night sweetie." He kissed her forehead and she went up the stairs. Monica finally looked up at Adam. He waited a few moments before he spoke.

"Here." He said, "It's from your husband." He handed her an envelope.

"Thank you." She couldn't help but smile.

"Here," She said quietly, pulling a small envelope out of the pocket of her robe and handing it to him. "This is for Andrew."

"I'll be sure to get this to him." They were silent for a moment; Monica looked at her feet and then suddenly looked up.

"You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do very much. I liked her at first glance."

"So did Andrew and I." There was a brief moment of silence once again.

"And how cute are you?" He bent down to see Anna, who sat quietly on her mother's hip. "Hi, how are you, sweetie?" She giggled.

"Can you say hi to Uncle Adam, Anna? Can you?"

"Hi!" She said excitedly.

"Hi!" He smiled back equally as happy. Monica smiled.

"Thank you so much for doing this for us Adam."

"No thanks are needed. I love you guys, and I think you two should be together. In fact, I think you two may very well have been made for each other." He kissed Monica's cheek, and Anna's too and he disappeared.

Monica began to think. It wasn't the Lord who wanted her and Andrew apart. In fact, he had blessed them. Perhaps she and Andrew had been made for each other.

…………………

A half an hour later, Anna had fallen asleep. She put Anna in bed next to her and climbed in bed herself. She pulled Andrew's letter out of her robe and opened it. She smiled as she began to read.

Monica,

Monica, Monica, Monica… I can't think you're name enough and I can't look at your picture enough to pretend that you've been here with me. You don't know how much I want that. I keep pictures of you and Anna in my back pocket, I look at you whenever I can, but no matter how much I look at the two of you it never makes up for not being with you.

How is our little Anna? Getting bigger by the day, I imagine. I can't believe she's walking and taking. I wish I could see her grow. I wish I could know her. What kinds of things does she like? Are there any signs that she likes coffee? Please continue to tell her that I love her. And if she asks about me, tell her that I will come and be with you one day, because I promise that I will.

I love you. I love you. I love you so much! I keep thinking of your pearly lips and the touch of your skin. I can't stop imagining hearing your beautiful voice and I can't stop wishing I could see you. I want to kiss you, I want to feel you, I want to love you.

Everyday, I dream of the day that we will be together. I wonder where we'll be, what we'll say. I'm already thinking about what I'll say. No matter how many times I think of what I'll say to you I can't make it good enough. Now, I've just come to the realization that I can't plan what I'm going to say. It will be too special, and what ever I tell you then will come straight from my heart.

I could go on forever angel girl. Kiss Anna for me, as always. And if you can, try to imagine that you've just received a kiss from me too.

I love you

Love your husband, Andrew

Monica began to cry as she put down this letter. She didn't know if it was particularly romantic, but it melted her heart. She took out a pad of paper and a pen and began to write her next letter.

Andre,

I miss calling you that! I'm so happy that we can at least write to each other. I wish I could see you too. Anna is getting bigger by the day. As I write this she is lying in bed, sleeping next to me. She looks just like you! I have no trouble thinking of you when I look into her eyes, because they are your exact eyes, sometimes when I see them, I think I'm looking at you! We're not sure if she likes coffee just yet, she's a bit too young for that. It has become apparent, that she likes chocolate, grapes, kittens and pink. She likes to run and play. She's a very happy little girl. Tess sings to her every night before she goes to bed. She loves that. We're doing well, we're happy, but we're empty. I must admit to you that we need you just as much as we want you.

Gloria and Adam are becoming closer and closer every time they see each other, which is often; I don't know if you've seen them. It worries me Andrew, I don't want them to suffer the heart brake that we have.

I'm writing this letter, probably just at the time that you received my last letter. Tonight, when I gave Adam my last letter, he said something, and I think it very well may be true. He suggested that you and I were made for each other. I'd like to think that he was tight.

I have been thinking about what when we will see each other again too. Do you think it will be soon, Andre? May be not. Even so I agree with you when you say that our words to each other at that time can not be staged or planned in anyway and must come straight from the heart. I love you, and as always I'm imagining that you're here as I go to sleep, and hopefully, we'll see each other in our dreams, my darling.

Love your wife, Monica

The letter was not half as romantic as she had hoped it to be, but his last few letters (before the one she'd received that night) had been incredibly passionate. As Monica lye there, trying to go to sleep she played with Anna's hair. She wondered if it would have been better or different at least if Anna hadn't have been born. Monica thought about that for a few minutes. She realized that even without Anna, they might have been split up sooner or later, and she was glad to have a baby while she was apart from him. Plus, well, she loved Anna so much that she was very glad that she'd been born. She knew Andrew was too. Finally, Monica fell asleep.

………………….

The next morning she had given the new letter to Adam. He in turn handed her a small card. It simply read.

Soon, my love, soon.

Monica smiled, as she had a good idea of what this met. She hid it in the depths of her mind, forcing herself to not set her heart on it, because she couldn't handle the heartbreak of it all not working out.

That morning Tess told Monica and Gloria that they all had the day off. The two of them decided to go shopping, but first they went on a little walk.

"Gloria, I need to talk to you." She told her as sat quietly on a park bench.

"Sure."

"You really like Adam, don't you?"

"At first glance."

"Funny, that's what he said about you."

"Really!" Gloria's eyes lit up. Monica nodded.

"Will you promise me something Gloria?" Gloria nodded.

"Please don't take this relationship too far too fast."

"What do you mean?"

Monica didn't want to tell her this part. Anna started to fuss and Monica took her from her stroller and held her in her arms.

"It's okay sweetheart." Monica smiled, giving Anna her pacifier and kissing her cheek softly. Anna continued to fuss in her mother's arms.

"Oh, that's what you mean?"

"What?"

"Anna."

"Yes. Anna." She sighed, resting her head on top of the baby's head. "No matter how in love you are. Wait, don't make the mistake Andrew and I did."

"We are, believe me, we've talked about it."

Monica smiled brightly.

"I'm so happy to hear that. I didn't want either of you to get as hurt as we are. You're like my little sister, ya know?" Gloria hugged Monica.

"That's nice to hear. I've always though of you as my big sister, someone to look up to, to seek advice from."

"That means a lot to me Gloria." She smiled. Gloria returned her smile. "What do you say, ready to shop?"

"Till we drop!" They both laughed.

……………………

A few days later, she and Anna had the day off. They went and did one of the things they loved most. The spent their day in a big, grassy meadow, barefoot, of course. First they rode horses. Anna was much too little to ride her own horse, but it didn't hurt to sit with her mother. Monica held Anna close as they sped a long. Anna laughed wildly as the wind hit her little face. She loved this.

Later, Anna toddled along in front of her mother, chasing a big red butterfly. Her little skirt blowing in the wind. She giggled as she reached for the butterfly, she tried to grab hold of it, but the little butterfly soared high above her head.

"Oh, my little darling." Monica smiled as she lifted Anna into her arms. She lay down in the grass and held her close. "What do the clouds look like, Anna? What's that one, huh, what's that one?" She was baby talking now. Anna giggled.

"Cat!"

"Yes, it does look like a Cat. What about that one?"

"Budderfy!" She squealed as she wiggled out of her mother's arms and crawled into the grass, chasing the butterfly again.

Monica laughed as she got up and followed her little girl once again.

She looked down at Anna as she walked. She suddenly looked forward, and her eyes met those of Andrew's. She stopped and gathered Anna into her arms.

"Andrew…" She said, barely able to believe that he was there. He walked over to them. His smile was as bright, he was happy. Tears started to fall from Monica's cheeks. Anna looked up at Andrew, her little green eyes wide.

"Anna, do you know who this is?" Monica asked.

"Dada!" she shrieked holding out her little arms for her father.

"How did she…"

"How did she know who I was?" He asked, taking Anna into his arms and kissing her head.

"Yes! She hasn't seen you since the night she was born, Andrew. She couldn't possibly remember you!"

"You don't think I'd stay a way for that long, do you?" He asked. Monica didn't say anything. "You see, I love you two, so much that I've been braking the rules they set. I had to see you. I come sometimes at night when you're asleep. That way we avoid actually communicating and we don't get in trouble." Monica was still speechless, okay, more like stunned. Andrew continued to explain.

"Sometimes I come and I just look at Anna for a while as she sleeps. Sometimes she wakes up and I take care of her, and we talk. That's how we know each other."

"That's why she doesn't cry in the night sometimes." Monica said as though she were still thinking. "How long have you been doing this?"

"Since the night that I was forbidden to see you. I sit beside your bed and look at you too. You just haven't waken up to find me watching you yet."

"I sleep more now, Andrew. I'm very tired by the time I go to sleep."

"I know angel girl, I can tell. But because of this defiance of mine, I haven't missed a thing. Well, okay I missed a lot, but I caught some of it. One night, when you were about six months pregnant, I willed myself to touch your stomach, just to see if I could feel the miracle of our baby kicking inside you and I did!" This brought tears to Monica's eyes. "And then there was the day when I came into her room, expecting to find her sound asleep, but she was awake, standing in her crib and she called me Dada." He looked like he was going to cry now too. He kissed Anna's soft blonde hair.

"Andrew what do you think when you watch me sleep?"

"I want to hold you, I want to talk to you, to hear your laugh...to be your husband and your best friend again." Monica was crying now.

"Why would you put your self in danger like that?" She suddenly asked. You could be banned; you could loose your angelhood. We care for you two, you know. We want you to be with us one day, just keep waiting, Andrew!"

"We don't have to wait anymore my love."

"What?"

"Yes, I've finally gotten permission for us to be together."

Monica stopped her crying and looked into Andrew's deep green eyes. He used his free arm to pull her into his embrace. They looked into each other's eyes as they had missed each other so much. Slowly their lips met in a sweet caress. Anna watched her parents and she smiled, she was happy and she had no idea why, as she had no idea regarding the significance of what was about to happen. Anna shrieked a happy little laugh that caught her parent's attention and broke their kiss. They laughed too, and each of them kissed her cheek.

"What's going to happen Andrew?" Monica asked, turning her attention back to him. He didn't answer before Tess appeared.

"The Lord is happy with you." She smiled. "He has seen how much you have loved and he is pleased."

"And he wants to give you a gift." Came the voice of Sam. He to smiled.

"You are to be married angel babies."

"That means that you'll be together for all of eternity." Tears poured from Tess's eyes as Sam said this.

"I'll take your baby angel." Tess said, taking Anna from her parent's arms.

"And for now," Sam said, "you two, decide what it is that you want to do. Congratulations."

"Stay out as late as you want babies. I've got Anna." The three of them vanished, leaving Monica and Andrew all alone for the first time in over two years.

"You know, I didn't get to say everything I wanted to when Anna was here."

"There's a lot that even an angel can't say when there's a little one around. You'll learn that quickly, Andrew."

"I know. But here's what I wanted to tell you, or really, show you."

"What?" She smiled.

"I love you." He kissed her lips softly and she wrapped her arms around his neck. As the passion in their kiss grew Monica jumped into his arms, throwing her legs around his waist to where he was completely holding her, and they fell into the grass….