Divination Tower
May, 1977
Lily Evans was pretty sure she was in the middle of a panic attack, her breath had quickened and the room had this terrible habit of spinning.
'Would you calm down?' Dorcas ushered Lily into her Divination chair. 'You don't know it'll happen.'
'It will!' Lily hissed. 'Professor Lufkin said at the beginning of this year each life is repetitive, in some way or another, they repeat each other! And if he was Lir-'
'Yeah well maybe you won't, not like that!'
'Oh God, this is so bad, it's so bad,' Lily whined, biting the sleeve of her robe.
'Right, you lot, my wonderful sixth years,' Professor Lufkin said, striding into the room, her voice dripping with sarcasm, 'line up over there, it's time I showed you your turners.'
It was the right thing to say. The small class jumped off their chairs and literally clambered over each other to be first in line, their turners already clutched eagerly in their hands.
'You'll notice that along the outer circle of your turner, there are four tiny buttons. The first is if you want to go forward (or backwards) an hour, the second is days and the third is months, and the last, years. If you wanted to go forward an hour, you'd press the first button and spin the hourglass away from your body one time. Just once. '
'What's the maximum a turner can go?'
'Ten years either way. To go backwards you turn the hourglass towards your body.'
The Professor continued talking, though Lily, for probably the first time in her life, wasn't listening. She was staring intently at James who had his turner in his hands, had pushed a button and was spinning the hourglass away from himself. A few seconds later, he disappeared with a pop.
A few of the girls screamed, Professor Lufkin looked like she was ready to kill and Remus just glanced at the spot James had been standing moments before and rolled his eyes.
He re-appeared a few minutes later, looking slightly dazzled and his hair ruffled. 'Wow,' he mouthed before his legs buckled and he landed on his backside.
'MR. POTTER,' Professor Lufkin screamed, grabbing James roughly by his upper arm and throwing him onto a near by chair, 'HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU COULD'VE DIED, BEEN TRAPPED, BEEN SEEN-'
Her shrieks continued for a good half and hour, but James eyes had glazed over. Lily stared at him. It felt like she'd been punched in the stomach, her thoughts jumped around in her head, not really making sense, and she felt extremely light headed.
Just then James looked over at where she was standing, their eyes met and Lily's breath caught in her chest. He knows.
'Eva,' he mouthed, as Professor Lufkin continued to yell at him.
Lily realised with a jolt she was nodding, but even worse than that, she was crying.
---
Godric's Hollow
March, 1980
Sometimes, James surprises himself with how much he's in love with Lily Evans. When he turns over in the morning and sees her next to him, strands of her red hair fallen over her face, her lips slightly parted and her chest moving up and down slowly, his breath hitches in his throat and he has to stare at her for a few seconds before he remembers everything.
Lily Potter, my wife, my love, my best friend. His hand slips down below the bed covers and her runs his fingers lightly over her swollen tummy. Carer of my child. Our baby. Our special baby.
Her eyes flutter open and he forgets to breathe again, her gorgeous green eyes look to him first and a sleepy grin tugs at her lips.
'Hey honey,' she says.
'Hi.' It's all James can say, because sometimes he's just speechless with how much he loves her.
They kiss. Drowsy morning kisses are the best. They wake you up better than caffeine or alarm clocks ever could. Especially her kisses, because they make every inch of James feel alive.
He pulls back the covers and sits between her open legs, pushing her nightgown up over her belly and staring at her stomach in complete awe for a few minutes before leaning over and kissing it.
'Hello baby,' he whispers, as Lily chuckles to herself. His fingers glide over her bellybutton and down to her side, feeling for any sign of movement.
'It's probably asleep,' Lily yawns, her back arching slightly off the bed. Just then the baby kicks a good morning, making both its parents laugh.
'What does it feel like?' James asks, pressing his ear to his wife's belly.
'Like … fluttering, little butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes it hiccups, and it makes me jump, or it uses my bladder as a squeeze toy,' Lily said, screwing up her face, 'other times it just … I dunno, responds I guess. Like there now, sudden movements or noises make it kicks me.'
'Is it sore?'
'Far from.'
Her fingers are in his hair again, brushing it out of his eyes and trying to make it lie flat. Lost cause. But Lily enjoys a challenge.
There's a creak on the stairs and both parents share a significant look. James smiles as he leans in and kisses her softly on the lips, his hands on either side of her torso. Brown eyes appear at the door way, and a boy of no more than sixteen peers in, before gasping and pulling back again.
Neither James nor Lily respond, they know who he is. In fact, they'd been expecting him any day now.
'I love you,' James whispers, kissing down her neck, 'sometimes I think I couldn't love you anymore, but then I wake up and you're still there, beside me, wearing my ring and carrying my baby.' He reaches her belly again, kissing the area of skin just above her bellybutton.
Lily stares at him fondly, her hand lifts up and runs down his cheek, over his high cheekbones, and morning stubble. 'Hey,' she says softly, 'our baby.'
He lifts her hand and kisses it. A small tear escapes Lily's eyes, her incredible eyes, as she pushes herself into a sitting position and pulls James in for another kiss.
'I love you, James Potter,' she mumbles against his lips, her legs wrapping around his waist.
The boy at the door slumps back against the wall, staring in shock at the couple on the bed. He runs his fingers through his hair, his breath coming uneven and ragged. He grabs his Turner and disappears. But the couple don't notice.
Because although James could swear there's nothing better than morning kisses, even he can admit they're petty beside morning sex.
---
The Great Hall
May, 1977
For the longest time, James and Lily didn't look at each other. They didn't acknowledge each others existence or anything that happened in Divination.
'He's moving on,' Sirius said to Remus one day at breakfast, 'and may I be the first to say thank God. It's about time Jamie went out and got himself laid. He's done more pining after Legs than an evergreen forest.'
'Cute,' Remus muttered, pouring himself some tea.
'Everyone is sick of it, Moony,' Sirius said, waving a butter knife about the room, 'Wormtail, McKinnon, Lee, Carter, Meadowes, Bones, Chant, Podmore, Diggle, Vanc-'
'Yeah, yeah I get the picture.'
'Just last month McGonagall smacked him around the back of the head with our text book cause he wasn't paying attention he just staring at Evans.'
Remus sighed, leaning back on his chair he looked up at the clear blue sky and wondered what the hell had happened to his best friend. He knew it was something to do with Divination, but he didn't understand what.
'Prongs tells me you were a girl in a past life,' Sirius said, pushing a bit of his growing black hair behind one ear.
Remus froze. Sirius threw his head back and made a noise than could only be described as cackling.
'Yeah well, you were a swan,' Remus said, as Sirius cackling turned into indignant spluttering.
'WHAT?'
'One of the children of Lir … if my calculations are correct,' Remus said, breathing in the smell of victory. Well … fake victory, as he was lying. But it was victory none the less.
'A SWAN?'
'Yeah … you know royalty used to use swan necks to wipe their bottoms after they'd been to the toilet?' Remus paused, 'Think that's a sign of things to come?'
'WHAT? I'M GOING TO BE USED AS THE QUEEN MUM'S PIECE OF BOG ROLL?'
'Please, Padfoot, people are staring.'
Sirius leapt up off his chair, his inky black hair falling around his face. 'Divination is a pile of shit, Moony, you know that! Remember third year? The crystal ball! I asked it what would I be when I'm older and it said a INTERIOR DESIGNER!'
'Well, it didn't necessarily say that. It just showed you a pair of curtains. But it seems oddly fitting now that we've learnt you used to be a swan,' Remus said calmly.
'BOLLOCKS!' Sirius yelped, quickly walking away, muttering loudly under his breath.
A few minutes later, both boys were walking alongside each other, arguing in low voices about a range of things that were by no means intellectual. They both clambered through the portrait hole and stopped talking abruptly as Lily's friend, Dorcas Meadowes, attacked them.
'Guys,' she began, sounding flustered, 'guys, something's happened.'
'James?' Sirius said, his face had gone paper white. Dorcas shook her head, 'Oh God, Peter?'
She shook her head again, grabbing Sirius's hand she lead him forward towards a group of people who were crowded around something … or someone.
'It's Lily … her … her parents.'
She didn't need to say anymore, the crowd parted and Remus saw Lily sitting on the floor, her legs curled beneath her feet, her eyes blotchy and swollen. Her sobs wretched at Remus's heart but she wasn't the only one who had his attention. Because someone had their arms wrapped around her, they were whispering quietly in her ear, and pushing her long red hair out of her eyes.
'James,' Sirius breathed, pushing forward and falling to his knees beside the pair.
'Car crash,' James choked, 'they didn't .. I mean … they're-'
He didn't say anymore, everyone in that room knew what must have happened. Lily clung desperately to James, gripping tightly to the front of his robes, her sobs echoed around the room, followed closely by James's soft whispers of comfort.
---
Divination Tower
May, 1977
Lily Evans stormed across the Divination room, angry tears spilling down her face as she kicked a chair which fell over and skidded across the room.
'You KNEW, you MUST have knew!' She sobbed, wrapping her arms around her stomach.
'I knew.' Professor Lufkin said silently. She was perched on the end of her desk, her hands wrapped around her mug of tea, with Professor McGonagall sitting on a chair behind her. Both women watched the younger girl storm back and forth across the classroom.
'I knew you would know … I mean … you're not a normal Divination teacher, are you? You have little patience for tarot, or-or crystal balls … omens … anything like that. You specialise in time magic.'
Professor Lufkin nodded.
'THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME?' She screamed, tipping a table upside down, the ink well that was on it smashed into a million glittering pieces, the red ink splattered, like blood, over her robes.
'Miss. Evans, please calm down,' Professor McGonagall begged, though she made no move to stop her.
'I CAN'T! MY PARENTS ARE DE- .. THEY'RE DEA..' She kicked another chair, then lifted a crystal ball and threw it against the opposite wall. Both professors winced, but said nothing.
Only this morning she'd found out her parents had died the night before in a car accident near their home. Her sister was arriving at the school later this evening, to take Lily back to her own apartment for the funeral and to make arrangements. This seemed to have sparked mood swing in Lily, she went from sobbing to screaming. If Professor McGonagall had any less sense she might have blamed her red hair.
'Miss. Evans … Lily, please,' Minerva McGonagall begged, standing up from her chair.
Lily threw herself down onto a chair in front of the two teachers. She felt sick from crying so hard, her mouth was dry and like sandpaper and her face felt cracked and sore.
'I wasn't even there,' she sniffed, 'and I'm their daughter, I don't want to go with my sister, she hates me, because I- I'm a witch.'
'She doesn't hate you, Miss. Evans,' Lufkin said, sharing a look with McGonagall, 'she just doesn't understand.'
'She needs you, Lily, now more than ever,' Minerva said, leaning across the desk.
'Things will work out,' Professor Lufkin said softly, a little twinkle in her eye.
There was a brief silence, which was soon interrupted as Professor Lufkin started coughing, her eyes watering as she thumped her chest with her fist.
'Are you okay, Patricia?' Minerva asked, rubbing her friends back.
'I'm fine,' she gasped, sliding off her desk and wiping her eyes.
Everything clicked into place for Lily.
'You're … you're sick,' Lily said, her eyes wide.
Both Professors stopped, turning around to face the younger girl.
'Yes,' Professor Lufkin said after a few seconds, 'I've a wizarding disease … one of those long lasting ones that destroys your immune system and everything in-between. I'm dying, unfortunately.'
'That's why we could see your time line in class … because it's coming to its end, it's getting read to leave anyway. You said you were special.'
She nodded.
'Aren't you scared?' Lily whispered, staring up at her professor, her eyes still rimmed with tears.
'No,' she smiled wryly, 'I'll be about again.'
Lily stared at her, and the professor winked back. A tiny smile broke out across Lily's face.
---
The Great Hall
June 1977
'You're back?' James said, staring up at the girl who'd caused a breakout of chatter as she entered the Great Hall.
'Well obviously, Potter,' Lily said, slipping into the seat opposite the marauders.
'Welcome back, Lily.'
'Thank you, Remus.'
'You alright, Legs?'
'Fantastic, thank you for asking, and it's Lily, in my presence. Hello Peter.'
'Hi,' he grinned, pouring her some pumpkin juice.
'How was the funeral?' Sirius asked. Both James and Remus could've smacked him for being so bleeding blunt.
'Depressing, but I didn't expect any different. Thank you, Peter.'
'And ... and you're okay?' James asked, slightly gob smacked that she hadn't broken down yet. In her shoes, he probably would've.
'Yes,' she smiled slightly, 'did I miss anything?'
'Professor Lufkin collapsed.'
'What?' She said, the smile dropping off her face.
'In her third year class or something, she went to St. Mungo's, we don't know if she'll be back,' Sirius said, stabbing a potato with his fork.
Lily looked between Remus and James, they both shrugged, turning their attentions back to their dinner.
Later that night Lily wrote a long letter to her Professor. In it, she told her about her parents funeral and about how she's going to live with her sister this summer. She mentioned everything she'd done so far on her Divination assignment, about what she'd learned about herself, and her past lives. She confessed her fears about James. Not just that she might end up spending the rest of her life with him, but that she's was thinking it might not be all that bad. She thanked her for realising that her parents may not be around anymore, but they are somewhere, and how she'd realised not to be so scared of death. She thanked her for so many things, and wished her a speedy recovery.
The Professor got the letter, and in a shaky scrawl sent her a quick reply.
Dearest Lily,
Thank you. But don't put all your faith in this fluky subject of mine. Minerva will back me up on this.
Good luck, look after yourself.
(and the little one in a few years. I hear Harry is a wonderful name.)
- Patricia.
It was the last letter she ever sent.
---
Sirius's Home
August, 1981
The Divination time line results weren't mentioned again for many years. But around three years later, Peter, Sirius, Lily, James and a baby Harry were crowed in a room in Sirius's house. Upon the kitchen table, there was an old sheet of parchment paper, covered in Remus Lupin's neat writing.
'I can't believe you're putting all your faith in this, James,' Lily spat, hitching Harry further up her hip.
'Come on, Lily, you know it makes sense,' he said pleadingly, but he didn't look at her. None of them could bare to look at each other. They just sat around the table, staring at the parchment.
'James, please,' Lily whispered, 'please, Remus is … he's your best friend. My best friend.'
'NOT IF HE'S THE SPY!' James roared, finally turning around to look at his wife. Lily winced, and Harry buried his head into her shoulder.
'You're scaring the baby,' she said, her voice shaky.
Sirius put his head in his hands, his long hair pulled back in a ponytail. Lily could've sworn his bottom lip was shaking. Peter couldn't tear his eyes away from the sheet of paper, he was slightly green.
'How do you know?' Sirius said from behind his hands, his voice shaking. 'You're talking out your arse, Prongs, you … you are.'
'No, he never wanted me to see this … not because he was a woman, but because he was the traitor.'
'No,' Sirius said, lifting his head out of his hands, 'no, no James this … he's not, this is just because he's a werewolf.'
'It's not because he's a werewolf, I know he can't help that … but it comes into consideration, he's a dark creature.'
'BE REASONABLE, JAMES!'
'I AM! HE WAS AOIFE IN THAT PAST LIFE. YOU KNOW THE STORY! YOU KNOW HOW IT TURNED OUT! SHE PRACTICALLY KILLED LIR AND EVA'S CHILDREN!'
'JAMES PLEASE, YOU'RE PUTTING TOO MUCH ON THIS!' Lily shouted back.
'Lily,' he said turning on her, 'we don't know … we just don't, he could be Lily and I don't want to take any chances.'
He was sobbing, her husband was actually sobbing. It wasn't long till Sirius had his head in his arms again, his back shaking slightly.
'I can't, Lily, please. You have to understand I can't take any risks,' he walked towards her, embracing her and his son, 'please, please, Voldemort is after us, and I don't want him to hurt my family.'
He whispered against her hair, tears falling down both of their faces. Harry looked between his mum and dad, not quite sure what was going on. He looked to his godfather, who slipped him out of his mum's grip and into his own.
'Come on little one, mummy, daddy and uncle Peter need some alone time. They know what they have to do.'
They both went into the living room, Harry gurgling excitedly to his godfather.
'Dada!' He squealed, tugging on Sirius's hair.
'Goddada, yes, well done,' Sirius said, sitting down on the sofa and bouncing Harry up and down on his knee.
'You hungry?' Harry shook his head. 'Potty?' Again, Harry shook his head. Sirius beamed, ruffling his godson's hair, enticing a giggle out of him.
'Moonie?' He said after a little while, his fingers tangled in Sirius's hair again. Sirius bit his lip, supporting Harry's back with his hand.
'Uncle Remus might not be around anymore, Harry. Daddy thinks he might have done something really bad, so we're going to wait a little while.' Harry stared back at him. He didn't understand. Sirius wasn't surprised … he didn't either.
'Sirius?' Lily's head appeared at the door.
'Alright, Legs?'
'Can I talk to you?'
Sirius patted the space beside him on the sofa. Lily sat down, her face puffy, her hair falling in limp strands around her face.
'I don't believe … I don't want to believe Remus could do that. To us. Or the Order.'
Sirius bounced Harry again.
'But I think … James is right, we can't have any risks. Not just for our sakes, but for Harry.' She said, leaning over and running her finger over her son's cheek, smiling fondly at him.
'Peter is going to be secret keeper?'
'Yes.'
'Good. And no one will know?'
'Nope, just us four. No risks.'
No one spoke, the silence only punctuated by Harry's content gurgles.
After a while James and Peter came in, they all sat in silence, avoiding each others gaze. The lights eventually died down but they continued sitting, in silent mourning. Though no one had died … not really.
After Harry fell asleep on Peter's shoulder, both James and Lily made their excuses and left.
Sirius stood up, mere minutes after they'd left and grabbed a picture of James, Remus, Peter and Sirius off the mantle piece, and threw it into the fire. It smashed and the picture inside immediately began curling up and burning.
He turned angrily on Peter, who recoiled. 'He was my best friend, and look what he's done, he's killed the fucking marauders,' he said in a icy hiss.
'I … I don't …' Peter began, but he didn't really know what to say.
'You look after them now,' Sirius said, the light from the fire flickering over his face laminating shining eyes, 'you have to … please.'
Sirius couldn't do it anymore, he turned around and walked out of the room, his heavy footsteps on the stairs, followed closely by a door slam.
Peter sat by himself in Sirius's living room, obviously having to show himself out. No one was there to notice the tiny glint in his eye, or the subconscious rubbing of his left arm.
---
The Burrow
February, 1998
Harry stared out the window. Later tonight, he was leaving with Ron and Hermione to go to Hogwarts and have the prophesised final battle with Voldemort. Though of course, no one knew. He wasn't nervous, or angry, or upset … he didn't really know what to feel. All he knew was that in a few days it would all be over, one way or another.
There was a knock on the door.
'Come in,' Harry said from the window ledge, his arms wrapped tightly around his legs.
'Hi,' Remus said, coming in and sitting opposite Harry on the window sill.
'How're you?' Harry asked, attempting a reassuring smile, but realising his face was hardly moving.
'I'm fine, and you?'
Harry shrugged. 'It feels weird, not being at Hogwarts I mean … just being here, no Sirius or Dumbledore or-' Harry sighed. 'Ron and Hermione keep me grounded though.'
'Have you found all the Horcruxes?'
'All of them bar one … I don't know what the hell it could be … I guess it'll turn up. Hermione and Ron are researching at the minute … or so they say.'
'I see.' Remus chuckled. He was grasping an old book in his hands, which looked like it hadn't been touched in a very long time.
'What's that?'
'A Divination text book,' Remus said lightly, ignoring Harry's raised eyebrow.
'Why would you have a Divination text book?'
'Because I did it for NEWT, as did your mum and dad actually.'
Harry sat up straighter, all his attentions focused on Remus. It wasn't unexpected, one brief mention of his parents and Harry always paid attention. Especially now. Harry was slowly coming closer to the age that they died, and any titbits of information he could get he lapped up.
'Really?'
'Yeah, technically it brought them together, you know,' Remus paused, handing the text book to Harry, 'this was your father's book.'
Harry opened to the first page, and immediately saw hundreds of little scribbles. Mainly his mum's name and tiny hearts, brief mentions of Remus loving some Professor Lufkin and drawings of snitches and broomsticks.
'You know your name?'
'Harry?'
'No, no, the 'Chosen One'?'
Harry scowled as Remus grinned.
'There's another reason why they call you this, it's a lot more deep than the idea you were in some prophecy that an inadequate Divination teacher blurted out.'
'Should I be scared?' Harry asked, idly flicking through the text book.
'No, no. But, over those twelve years that I had no one, your mum, dad and I suppose Peter dead, and Sirius in jail, I had a lot of time to myself and I did a lot of research into a thing called the Thread of Life, and past life regression.'
Harry stared blankly back at him.
'Well, it's the idea we've all been here before. Years ago, the Fates created this one soul, one spirit, that was put on mortal earth among the magicks to battle over and over again against the evil of each time.'
'Oh, let me guess, it's me?'
Remus nodded.
'My mum and dad knew this?' Another nod.
'You've done some remarkable stuff in your life, Harry … or lives should I say. I'm pretty sure you were Godric Gryffindor.'
Harry laughed. 'Yeah right.'
'Yeah, and you were Saint Patrick.'
'Okay now that is complete -if you'll excuse my French- bullshit.'
'No, no, it makes a lot of sense, think about it, what is Saint Patrick most famous for doing?'
'Well, chasing the snakes out of Ireland, I'm guessing.'
'Exactly, Harry,' Remus grinned.
'Please don't try to tell me Saint Patrick was a parselmouth.'
'Of course, how else do you think he did it?'
Harry shook his head laughing. 'You're mad.'
Remus smiled leaning his head against the window.
'If it is true, Harry, Tyche made you so you couldn't be defeated. You'll win, Harry, you will. Whether you go tomorrow or not.' He added with a wink.
Harry stared at him through narrowed eyes. 'How did you know?'
'I over heard the three of you.'
'Ah.'
'Don't worry, I haven't told anyone.'
'Why?'
'Harry I really do try not to put so much faith into Divination since although it did bring your parents together, it broke our friendship apart.' Remus sighed, his hands intertwined on his lap. 'The last time I saw your parents was three months before they died. The third time they cheated Voldemort. Your father completely blanked me, the other couldn't bare to look me in the eye. I didn't, at the time, know why. Of course I do now. They thought I was the spy.'
Harry stared. 'But how could they? I mean … you?'
'They thought in a past life I had betrayed them, and see, past lives tend to repeat themselves. It was my fault, my miss information. I never really was that good at the subject. I mixed the traitor, Aoife up with her sister. It also didn't help I was a werewolf … it's in my instinct to go to the one who offers me, well flesh. And you can understand that Dumbledore wouldn't give me that,' Remus said, smiling sadly.
'They … I mean … they thought you were someone else?'
'Yes. It turns out that someone else was Peter. Not me. I got the time numbers mixed up.'
'See? It's a fluky subject!'
'It is in a part, when being done by someone as untalented as myself or Professor Trelaweny. But I can tell you that an extremely talented woman told me about you when I was in sixth year. It is because of this I firmly believe you are the Chosen One, I believe you are the soul belonging to Tyche, and therefore any decision you make will be the right one.'
'You're mad,' Harry said again, but he was smiling, 'though thank you for the vote of confidence.'
---
Godric's Hollow
October, 1981
James threw his fifteen month old baby into the air again, swiftly catching him and attacking him with tickles. Harry's infectious laughter rang around Godric's hollow, making both parents chuckle too.
'Again!' Harry squealed, jumping up and down in his daddy's arms.
'Nu-huh, I think Daddy is getting tired,' Lily said gently, 'even though Daddy is very, very strong he's an old man.'
'Hey!' James said indignantly. Harry giggled, reaching his pudgy arms out for his mum to lift him.
'Hey big boy,' she grinned, lifting him out of her husband's arms, 'gosh, you're getting heavy.'
'I'm so glad he got your eyes,' James commented, as Harry sucked on his sleeve, his vivid green eyes darting back and forth between his parents.
'Aw, and I'm so annoyed he got your hair,' she said cheekily, her lips brushing his.
James grinned goofily as Harry clapped, and bounced around in his mother's arms.
'Happy Halloween, love,' Lily whispered, as James wrapped his arms around her waist and dropped a kiss on her shoulder.
'Happy Halloween,' he replied. Though his reply slightly muffled against the skin on her neck.