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TITLE: Ulteriour Motives
SERIES: Casualties
AUTHOR: Peter J. Frigate
EMAIL: thetwis...gmx.de (thats my 'mostly spam' email, so I might miss your mail, if you want my personal email, just ask me)
FEEDBACK: Yes, please. Public, private, constructive, negative, I don't care. I don't even mind flames.
ARCHIVE/DISTRIBUTION: I post the chapters on the Buffy newsgroup, and usually a bit later on If you want to put my stuff on your page, I'll probably hug and kiss you, but you still have to ask first. I like to keep track of where my things go. In return, I'll offer to mail you any new chapters/stories or corrections.
TIMEFRAME: After the end of Season Six
'PREVIOUSLY ON': Dawn has found a spell to restore restore Willow, and convinced her sister to perform it. A call to Angel to come and protect Buffy's body left them stranded with Spike. Not having any other choice, they have decided to go through with the spell. The spell seems to have worked, but Spike and Anya were badly hurt during the days of defending Buffy and Willow. They managed to transfer the piece back and restore Willow, but the spell had some unexpected consequences.
NOTES: Since Buffy and Tara share the same body for now, I am simply going to refer to them by the name of whichever person is in charge at the moment. So when I write 'Tara' it means Tara in control of Buffy's body. Also please note that the eye color is INVERSED. Lastly, this chapter is going to be a little bit shorter than the others, since there was just no way to stretch it out, and I really wanted to end it this point.
Part 9 - Ulteriour Motives
'Dear Dawn,
this is probably the last time you will hear from me. After the spell,
one way or another, I will be gone from you life. I lie awake at night
lying to myself that I will be able to cover it up, but you know how
your witch friends are. They will figure it out soon enough. I just
wanted to let you know that I never, ever wanted to hurt you or your
sister. I can't tell this to Buffy, not after what I have done to her.
I know that you, too, will not understand when you read this, but I'm
hoping that one day, in the future, you can forgive me for what I am
about to do.
Don't ever forget that I loved you, niblet, I loved you like a sister.'
---
"Spike?" Tara's voice sounded from Buffy's mouth.
"That's right, goldielocks. Big bad has a way to get you a body." Spike bragged confidently while strolling through the room.
"And how is that?" Came Dawn's sceptical voice.
"Easy. I assume Anya has explained you about Lloyd?" He asked.
"Yes. You went through some torture and some fights and got your soul back, yada yada, what's that got to do with this?" Xander asked, taking a position between Spike and Tara.
"I was offered the deluxe package. Full restoration, soul, human body.
I took the soul, but I was smart enough to keep my vampire enhanced
body. That means I still got a credit for a human body. I don't want
it, so I might just as well let blondie over there have it. I believe
it's an easy spell?" He directed the last question at Tara.
"It's a transfer of ownership, of something that you already posess,
right?" Tara asked, and after seeing the blonde vampire nod, continued:
"Yes, it should be relatively easy. But Spike, that's a gift I can't
take! It's only been a short while, you might want to be human after
getting used to having a soul!"
"I'm not Angel, darling. I have no interest in becoming human. Been a human long enough. It'd actually be helping me as well, since sooner or later I would have had to accept the human body."
"Typical Spike. Just when we thought you'd act selfless, it turns out that after all it's just one big scheme to help yourself." Xander commented bitterly.
---
'As you probably know by the time you read this letter, I've been lying to you all. I never was promised a human body. The only thing I earned was my soul, and the deal was done. I knew enough about magic to trick all of you, including Tara, into believing that the spell would have the effect you all wanted it to have. Don't blame yourself or your friends, you couldn't have known. If what I said had been true, it would have worked just like I told you. It was easy to convince you all that it would work, since you all so desperatly wanted to believe that Tara could live again.
I know that at this point you will probably still have hope left, that there will be a way to undo it, by forcing me to go back. But I take this path knowing that there is no way back, no way to undo the spell or to fix the consequences. It was a one-time-deal. Don't waste your time trying to find me, or to find out what I did. Just try to live your life with what you have got left. Don't waste your life chasing after what you lost the day we performed the spell.'
---
"There are ... sideeffects." Spike explained the gathered scoobies.
"Tara, you and Buffy might share one body right now, and feel each
others emotions, but if you are to split into the new body, there will
be a moment of complete merging; you both will know and feel everything
either of you ever knew or felt."
"So how do we make sure we don't end up with two Tara-Buffy-mixtures in two bodies?" Anya inquired.
"Once the new body is fully formed, each consciousness will be drawn
into the correct body. All that will remain are memories of the
sharing." Dawn explained, looking up from the book she was reading in.
"But you will still both remember everything clearly, every intimate
detail, every private moment, every personal thought. Do you think you
can handle that?"
"Yes." With a flashing of green in her eyes, Buffy's voice sounded.
"Tara's in the background again, but she agrees that we can take it"
For a moment, she seemed like she was lost in thought. "Actually she
doesn't want to put me through it, but I don't care. I can take it if
it means that she will live again."
"I wonder if you will prefer men or women after seeing what Tara saw"
Anya mused. "I bet Riley would be interested in this, it's just like
when Xander got split, just the opposite."
As the scoobies started to dive into the superficial mockery, Dawn went back to concentrating on the spell that Spike had made her read. It seemed as if it was exactly what he said it would be. She still didn't trust him, but it seemed like he was beeing honest about this.
---
'My best hope right now is that the sideeffect of the merging of essences will keep Buffy out of comission long enough for me to make my escape. You know that all of this, I could never have 'said' to you in person. The only reason why I feel like I can write it down now is because by the time you will read it I'm either dead or long gone.'
---
"Are you sure about this, Buffy?"
"As sure as I ever was. You know that I would have done anything to save you, Tara!"
"I meant about the merge we will experience. Do you understand that I will know everything about you, about what you felt, for Angel, for Riley, for Spike. How it felt being back. All your personal memories."
"Oh Tara, if it meant getting you back, I would have it all printed out and posted on the Sunnydale blackboard." Buffy joked.
"I just meant, this is not something anyone would willingly share. I feel like forcing someone to let me read her diary."
"Tara, listen to me. You are our family, more than any of the others.
Willow and Xander, they are my best friends. Dawn, she's my little
sister. Giles, he's been a father to me for the better part of my life.
Anya, well, she's like that odd cousin everyone has. But you, you've
been a big sister and even mother to all of us. If there is any person
I would trust with my most private thoughts, it's you."
"Buffy, I ..."
"Don't doubt yourself. You are not just Willow's girlfriend to us, to any of us. You are our FAMILY. Each of us would readily give their life and more for you."
"Thank you, Buffy."
---
Dawn had prepared the spell, and all Buffy/Tara had to do was to to shed a drop of her blood and mix it with Spike's blood. They both knelt down, side by side. Tara could feel the uneasieness it cause the slayer and sent her all the calmness she could.
"Well, let's get this over with." Buffy's voice sounded as she took the knife, cut her palm and shed a few drops of blood in the bowl.
"Right you are." Spike added and mimiced her action.
Dawn took the bowl, mixed the blood with the prepared fluid and
carefully poured it along the outlines of where the new body was
supposed to appear. "Let life and death merge to create what was lost"
She calmly incanted.
As the drops of blood finally formed the outline of a body, she looked up and saw Spike smile smugly. Just at that moment, the outline of blood started to glow, and Buffy's body was violently shaken by unseen forces.
---
'I had no choice, niblet. It is in my nature. One could even say it was the price of my reward.
I love you, Dawnie. You were the sister I always wanted but never had.
Goodbye,
William.'
---
Author's notes:
I know what you are thinking. You are wrong. Actually, I don't know what you are thinking, but I'm pretty sure you are wrong anyways. If you really believe you've figured out what's going to happen, then feel free to mail me or respond to the newsgroup post. If you managed to figure out where this is going, you'll get a guest appearance ;)