I have no claim to Rush Hour 2. Play Boy Magazine, or Star Wars.
Quagmire's Story Part II
Stewie's Evil Scheme
The letter from Quagmire was received just a few days after he had sent it in the mail. (Which is idiotic because he lives next door to her.) Stewie read the letter after Lois had set it on the dinner table walking up the stairs in disgust to wash off her hands after touching the letter. The letter repulsed Stewie, but then an evil scheme popped into his head.
"So… our horny neighbor Quagmire wants to play a game of twister with Lois kinky style. (If you know what I mean.) Well, I could either use his knowledge to throw more crazy and wild sexy parties, or I could use his "Charm" to have Lois suffer a faith worse than death." Stewie laughed evilly.
Then Chris came running through the kitchen screaming about an evil monkey in his closet. Stewie shouted in an angry voice "Chris shut up about that damn monkey. You know what I'm taking care of this right now."
Stewie walked up to Chris's room, busted open the door and there was a monkey smoking a joint while looking through some PLAY CHIMP magazines. Then Stewie shut the door. There was a loud shriek, then the two of them came out of the room, the two were shaking hands. "Now your going to go to this physiatrist to help you work out your problems with your wife correct?" asked Stewie. The monkey answered with a shriek and shook his head. Then Stewie stole the monkey's wallet and left.
Stewie reached the bottom of the steps and pulled out a white card from the monkey's wallet. Stewie said happily "There's my secret ninja closet access card and thirty dollars." Stewie stuck the thirty dollars in his diaper. "Lets hope Lois doesn't go back to jail again anytime soon or this money wont last long because that overweight buffoon wont change my damn diaper." Then Stewie entered his room. Walked up to his closet turned the doorknob twice to the left, once to the right, then once more to the left. After a computer voice asked for a password. Stewie responded, "Blast you vile woman." The computer responded to the password with "Enter."
Stewie walked into a dark room and began to speak in Japanese. Then Jackie Chan popped out of the curtains. He began yelling out incorrect English using poor grammar. Then Chris Tucker came out from behind the same curtain and yelled in a strange high pitch-black voice. "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Then Jackie and Chris disappeared into the darkness arguing about going to Los Angeles or going to save Jackie's uncle. Then Stewie continued forward. A Dark voice spoke out "You have come far my son. You must use the force to feed your dark side. The Sith shall rise again! We will crush the rebels!" Stewie interrupted and said "Ok Darth Vader, take a chill pill. I'm just going to kick Quagmire's ass then give him an option of dying or having sex with Lois. So let me think of the right words…. SHUT UP!"
To be continued…
DaPope72