Quagmire's Story Part III
The Baby Sitter
Once Stewie gathered all his items, which included a baby bottle, a pair of toy keys, straw, dirty diapers, etc. Then Stewie began talking to himself "Now I must think of a plan to get Lois to have that Quagmire watch over me. Ha now I have an idea of how to get ride of Peter and have Lois suffer two horrible faiths." Stewie then dawns his peter robot and transforms it into a Lois figure.
Stewie in his robot disguised as Lois comes down the stairs. "Now lets try this translator. You idiot I am not a woman, and why don't you cook for once." Proclaimed Stewie. The robot began to talk. "Peter ill make you mac' and cheese then we can have SEX!" Stewie was delighted with his successful translator.
Stewie walked into the kitchen where Peter was trying to open a beer with his teeth. Stewie was delighted, "Perfect now I must put my plan into action." Stewie walked the robot to the living room and open a can of beer. Peter then came running through the door. "My beer senses are tingling. Sweet a beer. Hey Lois you going to finish that beer." Stewie's robot answered with "No Peter you can have it."
Just as Peter was clutching the beer Stewie dropped it onto the floor. "Oops so sorry. And no use trying to lick it up. This new carpet absorbs everything automatically. But I dropped a case of beer in the street." Peter jumped up and ran for the door. He open the door and there was a case of beer laying in the road. "Aw sweet now I can work on my six pack." (Work out joke)
Peter ran into the street and began drinking the beer. Then a car riding down the road with a drunken driver talking on a cell phone began to spin out of control. The car flipped and slid about to collide into Peter. The car stopped just before smacking Peter. "Wow that was so close… I think I wet myself."
Out of nowhere Joe comes flying in his wheel chair screaming, "That's my beer Peter, hand it over!" Joe began beating the living crap out of Peter. And stole back his beer. Lois drove up in the car after going to the grocery store. Lois screamed franticly "Peter what happened?" She ran inside and called an ambulance.
When the ambulance arrived Lois jumped into the car with Chris, Meg, Stewie, and Brian. She stopped and said "Oh my gosh. I don't want Stewie to see peter like this. I know." Lois grabbed Stewie from the car seat and ran up to Quagmires house. Quagmire answered the door. " "Hello sexy lady. Wow Lois! Hey you're not my three o'clock "massage" lady. But you'll do just fine. Alright!"
Lois handed Stewie to Quagmire. "Glen I need you to watch Stewie while Peter is in the Hospital. Can you do that for me?" Quagmire answered "Sure thing Lois. I'd do anything for you." Lois was so relieved. "Thank you!" And gave Quagmire a kiss on the cheek and left. "WOW! Baby. Stewie you're my ticket into your mom's pants. Alright! Gigty, gigty, gigty, gigty!"
Stewie was pleased. "That's what I'm hoping."
To be continued…
DaPope72