"Break me in, teach us to cheat

And to lie, cover up

What shouldn't be shared

All the truth's unwinding

Scraping away at my mind

Please stop asking me to describe

For one moment

I wish you'd hold your stage

with no feelings at all

Open minded

I'm sure I used to be so free

Self-expressed, exhausting for all

To see and to be

What you want and what you need

The truth's unwinding

Scraping away at my mind

Please stop asking me to describe

For one moment

I wish you'd hold your stage

With no feelings at all

Open minded

I'm sure I used to be so free

For one moment

I wish you'd hold your stage

With no feelings at all

Open minded

I'm sure I used to be so free

Wash me away

Clean your body of me

Erase all the memories

They will only bring us pain

And I've seen, all I'll even need."

Citizen Erased: MUSE

Chapter Four: The Flashback

Remus was left all alone. He sighed and began to walk down the street.
He found a tree, one that looked beautiful, like you would play guitar under, pulled a book from his bag and began to read. This tree brought back memories. This is where he first realized that he was gay, this was where he first kissed another man, and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. If only that man was Sirius….

But it wasn't.. it was Him. Severus Snape. He could barely believe it.

Remus, used to sit by the tree everyday, and just dream until that one day. He was in the fourth year. He came out to the tree to work on his potions homework, and to just vent in his journal, about the day.

Cissa was really getting on his nerves. Why did James even try to set him up on a date with her?
They had been going out for a few weeks now, and Remus was the most unhappy he's ever felt… Even hanging out with Peter was less tedious.
Well, today Remus found her snogging in a broom closet with Lucius Malfoy... and even though he didn't really like her… she was HIS.
Remus walked in on them, turned around, and ran away in tears, and he found himself where he was right now.

He was sitting under the tree wondering, why those tears weren't real?
Why he felt happy as ever, yet knew he should cry.
The tears that came were not from sorrow... they were from knowing that he should be experiencing sorrow, but not actually doing it.

He had never been so confused.

Remus turned around sharply as he heard someone stifling sobs from the other side of the tree.
Curiosity overcame him, and his Gryffindor instincts drove him, to go around to the other side.
There he saw him.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, putting all grudges aside

"He left me."

" Who left you?" Remus asked in a comforting way.

"Lucius... he left me... for... a girl."

"Oh Severus… I'm sorry." Remus said putting his arm around the boy.

Severus stiffened at the contact, but it passed... Remus allowed the boy to cry into his shoulder.

"It will be okay." he said, patting the boys back…and they just sat there hugging and crying almost all night.

Then Severus did something that would change Remus's life forever.

He turned his head to face the boy, and softly touched his lips to that of the other boy's.

Remus was shocked, and even more so when Severus pushed harder into the kiss.
He melted and, against his better judgment, began to kiss back.

Severus, slowly and gently asked for entrance to the boy's mouth and was granted it.
Neither wanting to be the dominate one, they rolled around in the soft grass by the tree… and they were happy.

But with all good things... It came with a price.

You see, Lucius worked desperately hard to keep his and Severus' relationship a secret. There was no homosexuality at Hogwarts.. it was simply unheard of... The two boys knew that... but at that moment. They didn't care.

However, at the peak , Gregory Goyle (sr.) was walking down by the river.
He was Lucius's best friend and confidant, and he knew... he knew how to make their lives hell.

"FAGGOTS!" he yelled.. " LOOK! EVERYONE! THEY'RE KISSING!"

A crowd began to gather. Their hatred strong.

The two boys broke apart and shuddered, as the wrath became too strong to remember.

They woke up in the Hospital Wing two days later.

They knew the shared something special... and they'd be damned if they were going to let a few homophobic Slytherins, stop that.

The headmaster, made a new rule, against gay-bashers, that separated it from a regular fight. The penalty was stronger, which stopped the majority of physical attacks, but that didn't stop the taunting. Anytime someone would pass them in the hallways they could hear a snicker, a name, something. Eventually, the relationship dissolved, and they didn't even have each other to help them cope. Their life was on the fast track downhill. That was, until a certain person came along.

She was like their guardian angel; she took the boys under her wing.

That person was Lily Evens.

Lily hadn't been very well-liked until that time.

She was usually ignored, because she would never say anything, but when she saw the way these boys were being treated... she wouldn't stand for it.

She talked to everyone, and brought the boys life from off of the ground.

Those were the days...

Lily quickly became Remus' most reliable and best friend. He could trust her with anything… and vice versa. Well, until now.

Lies.

Deceit.

Remus didn't like it one bit.

What has my life become? He asked himself.

He sighed and closed the book. He wasn't reading it anyway, head in his hands, he tried to think of the happier things.

"Now the tables are turned." Drawled a voice from the other side of the tree.

Remus smiled to himself. Severus… the man of the hour.

"Hullo Severus."

"What's the matter?"

"Well... I'm dating someone, and he's also dating my best friend."

"DUMP HIM YOU DOLT! HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!"

"I know that. He's not... he's not out of the closet yet."

"Ooh… been there… done that…and let me guess… You feel like your betraying your friend."

"Yeah."

"That's to be expected, because you are."

"That's not helping."
Severus sighed. "Do you love him?"

"I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. When I'm with him, I feel as if I am complete. Like nothing could happen to make my eternal sun set."

"Are you willing to give up your best friend for him?"

"Severus… I'd give my life for his."

Severus looked down, A twinge of jealousy in his heart... (But just a twinge)

"Then, you should keep him. But I think that you should try to direct him out of the closet... by the sounds of this and the tears staining your face. He's going further in."

"Thanks Severus." Remus said, cracking a slight smile.

"Anytime." Severus replied. He gave Remus a friendly kiss on the lips. and with that... he was gone.

.$do do do do do$.