A Shared Past
A very short one shot set during ATBCHDI. Sayid has a conversation with Sun and discovers he and Jin have more in common than he knew.
"Sayid?"
He knew who was speaking before he opened his eyes. English was not her first language.
Sun bent over him, concern in her eyes, and placed a cool hand on his forehead. When he looked at her she smiled. "Are you..." she seemed to search for the word, "OK?"
Of course she would be the one to check on him. She was always taking care of those around her, like a mother. Sayid wondered if she had children at home, missing her, but he thought not. He had heard no mention of any.
"I'm fine." He said. He wasn't fine, really. The injured leg throbbed. His time in the jungle, after escaping from Danielle, had made him unsure, something he rarely was. Add to that the loss of his pictures of Nadia, and it was...how had Sawyer put it..."Cosmic Karma" for his torture of the man. He was in pain and miserable.
Sun showed him a white paste and pointed to his leg. She removed the bandage carefully and smoothed some salve on the wound. He closed his eyes. It wasn't often he felt the gentleness of a woman's touch. But another one of his senses interrupted the pleasure.
Sayid coughed. "What is that? It smells awful.".
"Yes." Sun wrinkled her nose. "Smells bad, but..." She smiled and pointed to his leg again. "Better."
"Thank you." He said. He knew they were all lucky to have her, with her knowledge of plants and herbs, as well as the doctor, to care for them.
Sun could have left, but instead she sat quietly. She wondered about this man who seemed so intent on getting off the island and who kept himself apart from the others. As her husband would have them do. She was startled out of her thoughts when Sayid spoke.
"You understand what I'm saying, don't you?" His past experiences sizing people up made him suspect from the first that Sun knew more than she let on.
She stared at him in surprise. How had he known?"
"You speak English. Why are you keeping it a secret from everyone? Even your husband?"
His voice was tired, but the eyes that met hers were intense and made her want to tell him things she hadn't told anyone else.
"I was going to leave him." She remembered the day in the airport when she had almost followed through with her plan.
Now Sayid was the one surprised. Despite the way Jin treated her, he had seen the way Sun looked at her husband in unguarded moments. The desperation and love was painful to watch. He couldn't imagine her walking away. He was too private himself to ask her the reason, but she offered it to him freely.
"He had become someone I knew he wasn't. I couldn't stand to watch it any longer."
Her words brought back another woman's words, spoken to him. " This isn't who you are, Sayid." She had said. He still wasn't sure she was right, but the words comforted him, even now.
He wondered how Jin had changed, what had come between them? "What did he do?" He asked.
Sun turned her head away. " My father is a...a powerful man. He has interests that must be protected." She looked ashamed. "Jin worked for him. My father made him do things, hurt people. Jin did it so that we could be together. But instead it drove us apart."
Her confession touched him deeply and Sayid made a decision to let her in. This would be the first test of his vow to stop isolating himself, to make connections, to trust people. Someone besides the French woman would know the truth about his past.
"I know what it is like to hurt people. That was my job, too, in Iraq. I did things against my nature, became, as you said, someone I was not, like your husband."
Sun saw the remorse on his face. "You are not that person now. How did you change?" She asked. "How did you find yourself again?" She leaned forward, anxious for his answer.
"Someone, a woman, showed me who I really was. She believed I could be that man again. It gave me hope." Sayid paused, remembering. "Do you still love your husband?"
"Oh, yes." She said.
"Then don't give up on him."
Sun's eyes were shining with unshed tears. "I will not." She whispered.
She took Sayid's hand in hers and sat with him until he fell asleep.