Author's Notes: Chapter updated 07/11/05. Was chapter 5
'It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.'
-Alan Cohen
"Starsky, it's a car, not an off-road vehicle."
"I know! I'm sorry, but it's not me… it's all these dirt roads!"
Hutch groaned and buried his face in the worn fabric of his own car's back seat. He had learned a few key points about superficial burns last night; the most important being that they certainly hurt worse in the morning. Actually, they started really hurt about fifteen minutes after you acquired them, and the pain just keeps mounting. There was a sort of grace period in there, after the fire and before the pain, and had Hutch known it was only temporary, he probably would have tried to enjoy it a whole lot more.
Now, after spending a sleepless night and most of the day in agony, the pain was finally starting to fade. Hutch lay stretched out (or folded up, depending on how you looked at it) on his stomach on the rear seat of the LTD. The more severe burns had blistered and his whole back felt hot and raw, making the simple task of driving utterly impossible. Starsky, despite Hutch's assurances that, yes, he would be alright if a Duke drove, refused to leave Hutch's side and in turn, gave the Dukes the freedom of driving the General Lee. After all, the cousins had more than proved themselves in the past two days. If they were going to make a run for it, they would have done so before leaving California.
"You okay back there?" Starsky asked, breaking Hutch's quiet reflection.
"Just fine, for a person who can't move," Hutch grumbled. Maybe it was time for some more pain relievers.
"You know, seeing you on fire like that really scared me," Starsky admitted quietly, keeping his eyes on the road. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner."
Hutch rolled his eyes silently, not wanting to hurt Starsky for admitting his feelings. Hadn't they already had this conversation? A couple times, even? "Starsky, don't apologize. So Luke beat you to me. It's no big deal, I'm fine." He paused. "Okay buddy?"
Starsky grumbled something to himself and kept on the trail of the Charger's taillights.
"I'll let you push me in the pool next time, I promise."
Hutch caught Starsky's smile in the rear view mirror.
"I'll hold you to that."
Hutch returned the smile and let his eyes rest. It had long since turned dark outside, but neither party wanted to quit driving now that they were this close to their destination, and this close to finding out the truth about the diamonds discovered in the cookie jar the Dukes were carrying. They were through Arkansas and into Mississippi by lunch, and then had continued on through Alabama and into Georgia. The day had become a blur of pit stops and dirt roads for Hutch, who could only see a sliver of scenery from his compromising position on the back seat.
He would admit, Alabama did have a nice cumulonimbus cloud system.
"Man, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," Starsky grumbled.
"Don't say that," Hutch warned. "You might very well get it."
Starsky's eyes narrowed in thought, then he shook his head as if dismissing the idea. "You can't really eat a horse, can you? Is this like the time you told me that talking to that stupid cactus would make it grow better?"
Hutch snorted softly, remembering the tiny little plant Starsky had gotten as a gift from one of his dates. "I'm sure you can eat a horse, I just don't know how you'd cook it."
"Why are we even talking about this?" Starsky shuddered, rubbing his face with one hand. "Farm cooking can't be that bad, I mean, look at the Dukes."
Hutch blinked.
"Well okay, don't look-"
"No, wait a minute Starsky. What do you mean, 'Farm Cooking'?"
Starsky rolled his head back, cracking his neck before answering, "You know, grits and chitlins and stuff."
"Starsky, do you even know what chitlins are?"
"They're vegetables."
Maybe some things were better left unsaid.
"Lost Sheep to Starsky, Lost Sheep to Starsky, you got your ears on? Comeback."
"What is it with these guys and the codenames?" Starsky grumbled, snatching the CB from the LTD's dashboard. "I told you, it's Zebra Three. Now go ahead."
Hutch snorted quietly.
"Just wanted to let you guys know that we're about 5 miles outside of Hazzard County."
Those words were music to Hutch's ears. He closed his eyes in relief as the LTD bounced through a pothole.
"Hey, you hear that Hutch?" Starsky asked over his shoulder. "You made it! See, I told you all this driving was good for you. It frees the spirit."
"I think all this fresh country air is turning you into some sort of poet," Hutch mumbled, pushing himself upright. He folded his arms over the back of the passenger seat and looked out the windshield. After a few moments, he asked, "Is it me, or has their driving improved since we turned off the pavement?"
Starsky chuckled. "You know, Bo was telling me earlier that he used to test drive stock cars. I didn't believe him then, but I'm starting to change my mind."
"Yeah? Was that the same time he jumped 32 parked cars in a carnival stunt show?"
"You heard that story too, huh?"
Hutch watched the glowing tail lights of the car in front of them. "I'll believe it when I see it."
The detectives fell silent at that, each lost in his own quiet reflections. The land out here was untouched and barely populated. Highways consisted of nothing more than two-lane dirt roads zigzagging through the countryside. Herds of cattle and horses roamed freely, often grazing on and around the roads. Hutch had only counted two road signs in the past hour. Somehow, though, the Duke boys knew exactly where they were going as they led Starsky and Hutch through the Georgia backwoods.
The General Lee drifted to the right and continued on a side road without missing a beat. Hutch shook his head in awe as Starsky followed. These roads were neither named nor decorated with mile markers. How did anyone find their way around out here? Never mind the fact that is was dark outside, making this drive even more blind.
The scenery to the right opened up, highlighting a good-sized pond glittering under the moonlight. Hutch was transported back to those long-ago summers of his childhood, back when girls had cooties and he dreamed of being a cowboy. His biggest hero had been his grandfather, and the old man remained so even today. Together, and usually accompanied by one or two farm dogs, Hutch and his grandfather would spend the morning tending the farm, with Hutch doing the child-sized chores, then they would retreat to the shade of a nearby pond for a lazy afternoon of fishing and storytelling. Hutch would watch as his grandfather's calloused hands strung the fishing lines, removed fish from hooks, and baited Hutch's line when the worms were too slippery. Every summer afternoon for two or three hours, Hutch would learn the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and what is was that made his grandfather the man he was. Those memories were golden in Hutch's mind, and still preserved in a warm feeling of love and honor. Those were the memories he wanted to create for his own children some day.
"What the- Where did that thing come from!"
Starsky's exclamation shattered Hutch's peaceful reverie and he opened his eyes before he knew they had drifted shut. About thirty feet in front of them, directly in front of the General Lee, a bright red stop sign appeared at the side of the road, it's reflective paint flashing against the beams of the headlights. The General's brake lights flared quickly as the orange car blew past the sign.
Starsky slammed his foot on the LTD's brakes quickly in confusion, then pressed the gas again, following the General as he too passed the stop sign.
"Did you see that? That stop sign just came out of nowhere!"
Hutch twisted in his seat, slowly and painfully, trying to get a better look. "I think it had wheels," he said, squinting through the dark. The story the Dukes had presented them with this morning was becoming more and more believable by the minute.
One second later, a burst of red and blue lights filled the night sky as a marked police car lurched from the shadows and swerved onto the road behind them.
"Uh, Hutch?" Starsky questioned, glancing between the rear view mirror and the winding road before him.
A new voice filled the CB's airwaves. "All right you Duke boys, this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane and I've got ya this time!"
Bo's voice returned the call. "Now Rosco, what are you doin' out here at this time of night? Don't you have more important things to do than throwin' out speed traps? You know we're gonna get away."
"Not this time ya aren't. Things have been mighty peaceful while you boys have been gone and Boss needs 'em to stay that way for another 24 hours. Now pull over before I add resisting arrest to your list of charges."
There was a moment of silence and Hutch made eye contact with Starsky. The owner of this bumbling, enthusiastic voice was the acting Sheriff of a county? And they had run the stop sign too, why weren't they being told to pull over?
"Sorry Rosco, tell ol' Boss that the Duke boys are back in Hazzard and we're gonna find out what he's up to!"
With that, the General Lee lurched forward with a rumble. The sirens got louder until the police car shot past the LTD, hot on the trail of the Dukes.
"I can't believe this," Starsky said, jerking the car away from the sudden flash of red and blue. "Not only are they running away, but it sounds like they do this all the time!"
Hutch gripped the seat back before him with white knuckles as the LTD bounced down the dirt road. "Maybe they weren't making all those stories up," he mused, watching the General and the police car move further away. "Follow 'em."
"I'm trying," Starsky retorted, fighting with the steering wheel for control over the car. "Your piece of junk car can't handle these dirt roads!"
"You sure it's not the driver?" Hutch teased, then winced as karma threw the car into a pothole. His back bounced off the seat and ignited in hot pain as if the burns had been scraped with sandpaper. A whimper escaped him before he could stop it and he lashed out at Starsky. "Would you watch where you're going? If you break my car, you're buying me a new one."
"I'm sorry!" Starsky snapped, keeping his eyes on the road and his tone sincere. "But your car can hardly handle the streets of Bay City, let alone these back country roads. Look at how far ahead they are!"
Indeed, the General and it's pursuer were a good distance ahead, flying over bumps and hills as if they weren't even there. Then the General took a sharp corner with impressive precision, leaving the police car fishtailing wildly in an effort to catch up.
Suddenly it felt very lonely out on these dark country roads, now that the other cars were out of sight.
Starsky took a breath. "So now what-"
A loud boom filled the air as the LTD's heavy frame bounced in and out of an unforeseen ditch. The force of the collision found Hutch in mid-air for a moment, tossed around like popcorn, before landing upon the rear seat with spine-jarring impact. The car came to an immediate stop as the hood popped open and shut like the jaws of a large shark. White steam began rising up from the engine, thinning into whips as it climbed into the starry sky. Hutch's ears rang in the silence as he gathered himself from where he lay sprawled.
"You okay?" he asked, leaning forward over the seats to check on his partner.
Starsky shook his head and released his grasp on the steering wheel. "I think so. You?"
Hutch's back flared angrily as the singed nerves protested the harsh treatment. He swallowed a lump in his throat and replied, "I'm good."
"I don't think your car made it," Starsky said solemnly, staring the open hood of the LTD.
Once the wave of pain began to recede, Hutch reached for the door handle. "Well let's go look at the damage you did."
"Me? Don't go laying this whole thing on me," Starsky began, pushing open the driver's door.
The door dropped to the ground with a heavy thud, then lay rocking silently in the dust.
Hutch glared at Starsky.
"Oh come on! This car has had it in for me since day one! It's been waiting for the perfect time to fall apart and it looks like it found it!"
A gentle breeze ruffled Hutch's loose-fitting shirt, softly grating the fabric across his burned back. Starsky must have noticed his discomfort because his face softened then and he said, "You should probably take your shirt off. You need more of that cream stuff?"
"It's aloe, and I'll be fine," Hutch said, but shrugged out of his shirt anyway. The cool air seemed to take some of the edge off, at least. "But you had better fix this," he said, pointing to the steaming engine.
"I can't do anything while we're stranded out in the middle of the boonies," Starsky replied.
The crickets chirped their agreement, adding to the solitude.
"See if you can call them on the radio," Hutch said, motioning inside the car. "Unless you broke that too."
Starsky narrowed his eyes and cocked his head a little before reaching inside the car and grabbing the mike. "Uh, this is Zebra Three, calling…" he paused and made a face, "Lost Sheep… do you copy?"
The buzzing of locusts added to the chorus of crickets.
"Lost sheep, this is Zebra Three, do you copy?"
A cold tingle feathered over Hutch. Did he just hear footsteps? He turned to stare into the darkness.
Starsky threw down the mike. "I don't think they're out there," he grumbled and raised his hand to slap the roof- then thought better of it.
Hutch's hair began to stand on edge. There was definitely something moving amongst the shadows.
"Well this is just great. We're not in this county for five minutes and we're already lost, caught up in a diamond theft case, and minus a car. Is this our luck or what?"
"Starsk."
"I'm gonna see to it that somebody reimburses us for all the time and effort we're putting in…"
"Starsky!"
"I know, I know. I was stupid to think that this would all work out-"
Hutch switched tactics. "Hello? Who's there?"
Starsky fell silent and moved to Hutch's side. "You see someone?"
A rhythmic thumping could be heard from the shadows, along with the rustle of leaves. "You hear that?" Hutch asked, desperate to know it wasn't in his imagination.
Starsky grew very tense. "Yeah," he whispered, reaching for his gun. "Police! Show yourself!" he shouted into the shadows.
Hutch suddenly found himself very naked without his weapon. He had taken it off because the holster irritated his burns, but now realized what a mistake that had been. Surely they were being over precautious. This was a small town in the middle of nowhere. The chances of them finding Hazzard's only armed bad guy were pretty slim.
Right?
Starsky moved forward. "All right, here I come," he warned, sounding a lot braver then Hutch felt.
The bushes before them began to quiver and rustle, then finally the branches parted and a large shape emerged.
They were staring into the glistening eyes of a large brown cow.
Hutch felt his strength drain away and he nearly collapsed against the car in relief. An embarrassed smile crept over him as Starsky jumped back, away from the inquisitive bovine.
"What the- ?" He yelped, lowering his weapon as he returned to Hutch's side. "Is that a cow?"
Hutch chuckled as the cow flicked an ear and began munching cud. His heart was still cycling the adrenaline from his system as he replied, "Yeah, partner, it's just a cow."
Starsky blinked and holstered his weapon. He straightened a little, then looked at Hutch. "Boy, he sure had you scared! I thought you grew up on a farm!"
"You were shaking just as bad as me, and I only visited the farm," Hutch retorted.
A deep rumble filled the air, preceded by one very orange car. "Well, look who came back," Starsky huffed, moving carefully past the cow.
The General Lee came to a stop alongside the LTD, purring as it idled. Bo smiled brightly. "You guys okay? We got worried when we couldn't raise ya on the CB."
"Oh, we're just fine," Starsky replied. "Just discussing our car troubles with one of the locals."
Bo looked behind Starsky at the cow, then to Hutch before furrowing his brow at Starsky. "I don't see anyone."
Luke was sitting in the window of the passenger door. "Why don't you guys just leave it here tonight. We'll get Cooter out here first thing in the morning and he'll take a look at it."
Hutch nodded as the cow stepped forward, bumping the fallen door with it's large nose. "Fine. It's not like anyone will take it."
"Alright then. Get in and we'll take you back to the farm." Luke got out of the car and moved aside.
Hutch followed Starsky as the brunet agreed and climbed in the General's backseat the way Bo had showed him to during one of their pit stops yesterday. After ten minutes of practice and three lumps on his head, Starsky left the Alabama gas station with the skill to maneuver through a car window as good as the Dukes.
Hutch, on the other hand, was not as agile at that particular feat.
After awkwardly sliding through the window and landing more on Starsky than the seat, Hutch gathered himself and swallowed down the pain on his bare back. Luke slid in next and the General lurched forward before he hit the leather seat.
"So where's the sheriff?" Starsky asked as the car rumbled away.
"Rosco? We made sure he's okay. Just got a little hung up is all."
Hutch peered out the small triangular window, watching the cow lift it's head in confusion at it's company's sudden disappearance. They rounded a bend and there, up ahead off in the distance, spinning slowly on it's roof, dented and dirty, sat the police car.
Sure enough, there was movement inside the wreckage as the shadowy figure shook his fist at the passing car.
Hutch elbowed Starsky and pointed as they drove by.
"Well Starsky, welcome to Hazzard County."