Author's Note- As usual, thanks to Rebelcat for polishing this baby.

"Well that was slicker than a greased hog on Christmas Eve day!" Bo exclaimed as he walked towards the Torino.

Starsky had turned the car off and was looking sympathetically as Hutch's back as the blond sat with his head hung low, sitting sideways in the passenger seat. He was unsure of what to say, what kind of condolence you're suppose to give after having nearly scared your partner to death. "I'm sorry," Starsky ventured, feeling a little foolish now that the heat of the moment had gone.

Hutch nodded and waved a hand.

Starsky looked around. They were stopped in front of a brick building, and several other cars were parked nearby. "Where are we?"

"This is the Boar's Nest," Bo said cheerfully, leaning on the Torino. "Told ya we'd run right into it."

Starsky looked at the wall of gray brick just inches from the Torino's front bumper. "No kidding."

Hutch doubled over as if he would be sick again, but nothing happened. Starsky felt another pang of sympathy. "You gonna be okay?"

Hutch leaned back against the seat and nodded. He looked a little pale, but Starsky supposed that near-death experiences could do that to you.

Hutch took a deep breath. "I'm fine. Just give me a warning next time you're gonna hurl us over a hole in the ground, okay?"

Starsky smiled and laid a heavy hand on Hutch's shoulder. "I can do that. Now what do you say we go see a man about some jewels?"

Hutch nodded as if to psych himself up, then pushed himself to his feet.

Luke bent down near the Torino's front bumper as Starsky got out of the car. "This thing handles jumps pretty well, considering it's a heavy car."

Starsky shut the door. "Yeah, well don't get too excited. I think our debut jump was also our last." He cast a quick glance to Hutch, seeking the blond's approval.

Hutch lifted his head and smiled as the four made their way to the front of the Boar's Nest. Starsky recognized that smile- it was the one that meant no, Hutch wasn't really happy, but he was trying for the sake of the friendship. Starsky realized that no one could ever ask for a better friend.

"Hey look, Daisy's here already," Bo said, pointing out the white Jeep parked at the far corner of the building.

"She got here awful fast," Luke mused as they neared the door.

"Well if she drives anything like you two," Hutch spoke up, "then it's no surprise."

"Not only can she drive 'em, she can fix 'em too," Bo boasted. "Last year, Luke taught her how to assemble a carburetor, blindfolded."

Hutch looked to Starsky with a raised eyebrow. "Sounds like your kinda date. The blindfolded part, I mean."

Starsky faked a glare at his partner as they followed the Dukes inside the bar. "Aw, I wouldn't want to take her away from you, Blintz. She seemed pretty attached when I saw you two earlier." He lowered his voice, leaning into Hutch. "What did you do, show her your gun?"

Hutch blushed and looked away, making Starsky very proud of himself. He sniggered as Hutch tried to regain his composure.

The bar was dimly lit. The floor was a little dusty but it was obviously swept on a regular basis. Fifteen to twenty tables were arranged over the large floor, each topped with a small basket of peanuts or popcorn. There was only a handful of customers inside, probably because of the early hour. A pinball machine sat against one wall, a jukebox against another, and the bar on a third. A black, rustic phone hung on the wall at the end of the bar. And tucked away in the far corner behind a potted plant was a painted door.

Starsky's interest piqued. That must be the office of the man they were after.

Bo and Luke walked up to the bar and each took a seat, folding their arms over the polished surface. Starsky and Hutch followed, sitting side by side as a familiar face approached.

"Well hey 'yall, what're you doin' here?" Daisy asked with a grin.

Starsky's eyes moved downwards as she folded her arms and leaned onto the bar across from them.

"We could be askin' you the same thing," Bo replied. "You shoulda told us you were working today."

Starsky felt a sharp pain in his ribs and recognized it as Hutch's bony elbow. He tore his gaze away from Daisy and glanced at his partner.

Hutch gave him 'The Look' #12, the one that meant, 'Where are your manners!'

Starsky returned Hutch's Look with one of his own, the 'I'm sorry but not really' Look.

Two glasses of beer hit the table in front of them, and the detectives turned towards Daisy. "These are on the house, on account of you keeping my cousins outta jail an all."

Starsky forced himself to hold her gaze as Hutch thanked her.

"Now right over there is Boss's office," Luke said, pointing to the dark-colored door.

"And he won't be in for another half hour," Daisy added. "He and Rosco are probably still in town, cookin' up a new scheme to have you boys thrown in jail."

Bo jumped off his barstool. "Well let's go see what we can find!"

"Hold it," Hutch interjected as Luke jumped up as well. "We can't just go barging in there and start rifling through files. That's called breaking and entering, and in California, there's laws against that."

Daisy ducked down and reached under the bar. "Is it still breakin' and enterin' when you got a key?" She straightened and held up a gold door key.

Luke smiled brightly and reached out to take the key. "Daisy, I'm glad you're on our side, I ever tell you that?"

Their hands held each other briefly as she replied, "Yeah, sugar, you have." Then a call for more beer sounded and Daisy made her around the bar.

"What do you say to that?" Starsky asked Hutch, his eyes on the female Duke's backside. When she turned, he quickly looked to Hutch. "Feel like a little B&E now?"

Hutch shook his head at his partner's lust. He still felt a little uneasy about this, but Bo and Luke were already inserting the key into the lock. "Starsk, it's still not right."

"We're just going to look around," Starsky replied, sliding from his barstool. "Come on, help me make sure they don't touch anything. Please? Partner?"

Hutch turned to his beer and took a long drink before consenting. "I guess someone will have to be there to bail you three out of jail."

"That's the spirit!"

Starsky beamed at Hutch as the blond joined them outside the door. After a quick scan of the bar, Luke pushed the door open and the four ducked inside.

The office was rather spacious and well lit considering the bar it was housed in. Large potted plants littered the room, and a big wooden desk was the focal point of the spacious office. An expensive, padded leather chair accompanied the desk, and a wrought iron coat tree stood in the corner next to Hutch. The decorations were in good taste, but were otherwise sparse.

Bo and Luke went straight to the desk and immediately dug into the piles of papers there.

"Hey-"

Starsky cut him off. "Just the once, Hutch, close your eyes, okay?"

"There are better ways we could be doing this. More legal ways."

"Those ways take time, which we don't have right now." Starsky smiled and looked at the cousins. "We're doing this in the name of justice, to help these guys out. Don't you wanna help them?"

Hutch clenched his jaw and watched the Dukes begin going through drawers.

"If we don't help them," Starsky added softly, "Poor Daisy will be left all alone while her cousins sit in jail."

Hutch sighed heavily. "All right," he yielded, but raised his index finger. "Just this one time, and only because locking them up would destroy other people's lives." He hated feeling snowed like this.

"Aw, Hutch, you really are a knight in shining armor, you know that?"

"Don't I know it," Hutch muttered, and gave Starsky a small push towards the desk. "Get over there and make sure they don't tamper with evidence, will ya?"

Starsky made his way to the desk and leaned over it, scanning the scattered papers that covered it's surface. Hutch surveyed the office, taking note of the small closet on the far wall, and the single, barred window that filtered sunlight into the room. A barred window? Who was this guy trying to keep out, and why?

"This is hopeless," Luke started, backing away from the desk. "There's so much paperwork here, we'll never be able to find anything! It's like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"Keep looking, Luke," Bo encouraged. "We still got to search the safe, and if it's not in this office, then we'll go into town."

"Safe?" Starsky questioned. "What safe?"

Bo leafed through a handful of papers as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, towards a painting of a country hillside. "It's behind that picture. Daisy knows the combination."

Starsky moved towards the painting as Hutch held his vigilante by the door. Starsky lifted the painting by the golden frame, revealing a small, square, black safe mounted inside the wall, about five feet from the ground. A large combination dial stared at them mockingly, daring someone to attempt to gain access to it's treasures.

Starsky turned to grin at Hutch. "Well would you look at that."

Hutch huffed. This Boss Hogg character kept getting weirder and weirder. Between the barred window and the hidden safe, one might think the commissioner was a little paranoid.

"What's he keep in there?" Hutch asked, causing the cousins to look up.

"Stuff he don't want anyone else to get," Bo replied quickly, and Luke rolled his eyes.

"Knowin' Boss, it could be anything. He pinches his pennies so tight, it's amazing he's got any fingers left to eat with."

"Kinda makes you wanna look inside it, don't it?" Starsky asked, eyeing Hutch mischievously.

Hutch raised a hand and opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a commotion on the other side of the door.

Daisy yelled, "Wait a minute Boss!" and Hutch's eyes grew wide.

"He's coming!" he warned, moving away from the door as the others froze in place. Hutch looked from the window to the closet, but instantly knew the four of them wouldn't make it in time.

The door swung open and a short fat man stormed inside, dressed completely in white and carrying a large platter of fried chicken. On his heels was a man Hutch hoped was not the sheriff.

"What the- What are you Dukes doin' in my office? And who are you two?"

Caught red-handed.

"Yeah," the sheriff echoed, stumbling over his words as he mimicked Boss Hogg, "What are you doin' in here?"

Daisy appeared in the doorway, shrugging helplessly. "Sorry boys, I tried…"

Bo, Luke and Starsky all moved forward to stand with Hutch. "I'm Detective Starsky, this is my partner, Detective Hutchinson," Starsky said formally. "We're with the Bay City PD."

Boss gasped and his eyes grew large. "Detectives?" he echoed, and behind him, Rosco took a step backwards also. "From Bay City?" Boss narrowed his eyes and his chicken wing. "Where's that?"

Starsky glanced at Hutch, a smile just barely contained beneath his 'tough-cop' front. "California."

Boss relaxed and walked to his desk, setting down the heaping tray of chicken. "Well you're a little out of your jurisdiction, ain't ya? And that still don't tell me why you's in here, snooping around through my personal belongings."

Hutch watched Boss, mesmerized by the fat man's voice and gestures as a mouse before a cobra.

"They're here visiting us," Luke spoke up. "They're friends of the family."

"Well friends of a Duke ain't no friends of mine," Boss retorted, and Rosco agreed behind him. "Rosco, I want you to lock up this whole lot, on account of breaking and entering."

"And speeding," Rosco chimed in, moving around Boss as he reached for his handcuffs. "Don't forget that speeding ticket!"

"Yeah, yeah, and that," Boss replied, waving a chicken leg as he ate off it.

"Wait a minute," Starsky and Hutch protested almost simultaneously, but it was Luke's voice that got Boss's attention.

"Now Boss, we just drove all the way from the west coast to bring you that danged cookie jar, and now ya ain't even interested?"

Boss dropped his chicken and Rosco stopped his advance. "You mean you got it?" He seemed a little too excited at the news.

"Well of course we do," Bo chipped in, "You sent us out to get it, didn't ya? You know us Dukes always keep our word."

Hutch glanced at Starsky. These boys were doing just fine coercing Boss by themselves. Such a fine job, in fact, that Hutch was beginning to feel a little useless.

"You mean to tell me that you really have my- I mean, Lulu's priceless family heirloom cookie jar? Well where is it?"

"It's out in the General," Luke said, pointing to the door. "We'll go get it for ya."

"Uh-uh!" Boss raised his voice, shaking his head. "I'm not sending you Dukes out there just so's you can drive off!" Boss grabbed a handful of chicken and moved towards the door. "We'll all go out together, and if you try anything funny, Rosco will throw you in the slammer and throw away the key!"

"I'll throw it away!" Rosco echoed.

Hutch remained silent, watching Boss Hogg open the door and wave them all through it. Sheriff Rosco seemed to be a permanent fixture on the man's side, always agreeing with and taking orders from the commissioner. As he followed the Dukes out into the bar, he caught a meaningful gaze from Starsky. They would confront Boss about the diamonds outside, once he had the cookie jar in his hands. Between the two trained detectives, there was no way the heavy-set Hogg could escape.

Hutch glanced at Daisy as the six men made their way to the bar's front door. She studied them thoughtfully, but did not seem too worried. In fact, neither of the male cousins seemed worried either. This was the acting Sheriff of Hazzard here, complete with gun and handcuffs, threatening to lock them up, and the Dukes acted as though they had seen it all before.. And were confident that they would again.

The bright, mid-day sun caused Hutch to duck his head as the group moved outside. A problematic thought struck him then- the obvious fact that the cookie jar was missing it's head. But, on the other hand, if Boss had only used the cookie jar as a cover for the diamonds, the broken head shouldn't really make too much of a difference, should it?

"Alright Boss, here it is," Luke announced as he approached the General's trunk. He glanced at Starsky and Hutch, uncertainty shining brightly in his eyes, then popped the trunk.

Boss moved forward eagerly and peered inside the trunk. "What the- what's going on here?" he asked, holding up the headless cookie jar. "Where's the head?"

The cousins looked at each other nervously. "Well, now, Boss… I'm afraid we don't have the head-"

"You don't have the head?" Boss snapped and even Rosco flinched. "What good is a cookie jar without the head!"

Hutch noticed how Boss was holding the 'worthless' cookie jar a little too closely against his body. 'Oh yeah,' he thought, recalling years of experience dealing with hardened criminals, 'This guy is guilty.' One look at Starsky confirmed his suspicions.

"Well then," Boss continued, scrunching his face up as he spoke, "It seems that you failed to uphold your end of the bargain. A bargain, might I remind you, that I offered out of the kindness of my heart. And since you boys failed to bring back my Lulu's precious pig in one piece, then I don't got no choice but to have you Dukes thrown in jail. Rosco, arrest those cookie jar-breakers."

"Sure thing little fat buddy, I-"

And before Hutch could even find his voice, the Dukes exploded into action. Rosco had just reached for his handcuffs and only taken one step forward when Luke grabbed the bow and arrows from the General's trunk and slammed it shut. In a fluid movement any pick-pocket would be jealous of, Bo snatched the ceramic cookie jar from Boss Hogg. Then the blond was sliding into the driver's seat and the engine roared to life. Luke tossed the weapons into the car's back seat and swung himself through the passenger-side window as the rear tires spun in the dirt, effectively kicking up enough dust to blind the confused onlookers.

When Hutch looked up, the General Lee was gone.

"Ack- they stole my diamonds!" Boss yelped, already pushing Rosco towards a parked police car. "Don't just stand there like a bump on a log, get after them!" Boss shouted as Rosco was still waving his hands about, trying to dispel the thick red dust.

"Hold on," Hutch began, moving forward to grab them. Whether Boss knew it or not, he had just admitted to stealing the diamonds. "You're gonna have to answer some questions-"

But the Sheriff and the portly commissioner were surprisingly fast, and neither took any notice of Hutch's words or no-nonsense tone. The two were sliding into the police car when Starsky elbowed him.

"Come on, we'll catch 'em in my car," he said, already moving towards the Torino.

Feeling completely belittled, Hutch's only option was to follow his partner.