Author's Notes: Just one more chapter left! Thanks to everyone who read this, and my gratitude to everyone who had the heart to review. Your input means a lot to me.
Hutch winced as he was thrown back against the Torino's bucket seat. The car lurched forwards, albeit a little slowly since Starsky was still accelerating too quickly in the dirt, then finally the tires caught and the car picked up speed. Up ahead, Hutch could see the flashing lights of the Sheriff's patrol car as it struggled to catch up to the Dukes. Seeing the lights reminded Hutch of their own mars light, and out of habit, he reached down to retrieve it.
It wasn't until Hutch came up empty-handed that he remembered this wasn't the Torino, and this car didn't yet have a mars light.
At least they still had the CB.
"You know, I beginning to think this town is a little crazy," Starsky admitted.
"You noticed, huh?" Hutch asked, grinning at his partner in an effort to avoid looking at the road before them. "It's like we didn't even exist back there."
Starsky huffed. "I'll be glad to get back to Bay City, where our reputation precedes us."
"Lost Sheep to St- Zebra Three, you got your ears on?"
Starsky grinned at Hutch. "They're learning."
Hutch picked up the mike and replied, "This is Zebra Three, go ahead."
Up ahead, the patrol car's brake lights flared as the bulky car fishtailed around a bend in the road. Starsky, now familiar with both the road conditions and the Torino's reactions, navigated the corner smoothly.
"There's a fork in the road up ahead, stick to the left and take Sweet Meadow road. We'll take care of 'ol Rosco, you fella's just be ready."
"What do you have planned?" Hutch asked. He didn't want either party getting hurt, especially when the Dukes were taking this upon themselves. They were suppose to be working with the detectives, not on their own secret agenda.
"You'll find out!"
Hutch fought down a growl and instead slammed the mike back upon its holder. Didn't these guys take anything seriously?
Starsky laughed at his partner's obvious irritation. "Just think Hutch, you could've turned out like them if you'd stayed with your grandfather!"
Hutch sank into his corner of the car as the Torino bounced over a hill. "I doubt it."
"Aw, come on, aren't you having fun?"
"Starsky, this is police work, it's not suppose to be fun."
"Well that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun when the opportunity presents itself."
Hutch hung onto the door handle as the Torino whipped around another bend. Starsky's driving was getting more reckless; that meant that his confidence was building.
Hutch shuddered.
The patrol car was about forty feet in front of them now, and the General Lee was about fifty feet in front of the patrol car. The chain of vehicles snaked its way over the dirt roads like a child's toy train, its destination unknown except to the hand that steered it. A herd of cows turned away from the road as the General roared by, and Hutch got a good look at their slow-moving rear-ends by the time the Torino flew past.
"One thing's for sure," Starsky spoke up, his focus on the road, "The scenery is definitely better here."
Hutch raised his eyebrow.
"Heads up, we're heading for a river," Starsky warned, straightening slightly in his seat.
"Not again," Hutch groaned, ignoring the pain in his back as he sunk down in his seat.
"But look," Starsky pointed, "There's a bridge."
"I thought they didn't believe in bridges in Hazzard County."
"Maybe this was an accident."
The scenery on the other side of the bridge was distinctly farmland. Large haystacks littered the pasture, and an old, rusted barbed wire fence ran parallel to the road. More cattle were grazing within the perimeter, and a couple of bay horses could be seen in the distance.
The General suddenly lurched ahead, eating up the road at an incredible rate. As it crossed the wooden bridge, Luke emerged from the window, sitting on the passenger door.
In his hands, was the bow and an arrow.
Starsky laughed. "What does he think he's doing?"
The patrol car was only a few feet from hitting the bridge now, and Luke steadied himself with one hand on the General's roof, then readied an arrow on the bow. The General raced past a giant haystack and Luke took aim, twisting around and firing the arrow at the ground directly behind the Charger, just as the patrol car passed the bridge's half-way point.
The ground exploded into a giant ball of flame and black smoke where the arrow struck the ground. Hutch jumped in shock- where had they gotten explosives!- and the patrol car slammed on it's brakes to avoid the fire. Unable to stop on the loose dirt, the car jerked to the right and plowed straight into the haystack.
The General Lee had come to a stop also, swinging around to face the damage it had caused. The flames had dissipated and floated harmlessly into the sky, but the patrol car was trapped securely under hundreds of pounds of hay.
Seconds later, the Torino slid to a halt behind the buried patrol car, effectively boxing the vehicle in.
Like it was going anywhere anyway.
The Dukes were already out of the General and approaching the patrol car when Hutch opened his door. "What are you trying to do, kill someone?" he exclaimed, advancing on the cousins. "You can't go driving around shooting dynamite from a bow!"
Bo tucked the cookie jar under his arm. "Well shoot, we got 'em, didn't we?"
Muffled voices sounded from under the hay, and Hutch changed direction to help uncover the patrol car. "Come on, help me get them out of here."
Intrigued by the commotion around its food, a young black cow starting plodding towards the men.
After some digging by the four young men, Rosco and Boss were finally able to open the doors of the patrol car. Boss Hogg was still ranting about Dukes and clunker cars and cookie jars as he stumbled out of the mess and turned to face the four men.
"All right, you're all under arrest! Rosco, handcuff 'em! You're goin' away on account of reckless drivin', endangering an officer, burglary, and whatever else I come up with!"
The Dukes backed away, dancing out of Rosco's grasp as he made a lunge for them. Hutch reached for his badge and flipped it open, the bright sun reflecting off the metal and spotlighting the oak tree overhead. "Now wait just a minute," he started, noticing- and taking satisfaction in- the shocked expression on Boss Hogg's face. "As we mentioned before, I'm detective Hutchinson and this is Detective Starsky. And before you go arresting anybody, I think we need to have a little talk about some diamonds." He put his badge away and added, "Or perhaps I should get on the radio and request some backup?"
"No no no, don't do that!" Boss cried and Rosco jumped away from the Dukes as if he'd been bitten. "Rosco, you pea-brain, get over here!" Once the sheriff was behind him, Boss forced himself to smile as he looked at the detectives. "Talk, you say? I love to talk."
"You sure do, little fat buddy," Rosco giggled before Boss shot him an evil glare.
Starsky took the cookie jar from Bo and approached Boss. "Is this yours?" he asked, holding the figure out.
Boss looked nervous. "Why, I've never seen that before in my life. It's not mine-"
"Well sure it is Boss," Rosco interrupted, "That's Lulu's little piggy cookie jar, remember? Look at how cute it is, dressed up in it's little overalls and its fat little belly, even without it's head-"
"Uh- Rosco! You numskull!" Boss spat. "Would you keep your mouth shut?"
Starsky smiled. "So it is your cookie jar." He looked at it, his face becoming remorseful for a second. "Sorry about the head, by the way."
Hutch reached out, noticing how large Boss's eyes were getting as his hand grew closer to the cookie jar. "So, if the cookie jar is yours, then these are your also?" He pulled out the sack full of diamonds.
"Oh my," Boss gasped, a little too-surprised if you asked Hutch. "Now where did those come from I wonder?"
"Ooh," Rosco seconded, pointing and the sparkling rocks. "Now those aren't cookies."
"Yeah, I wonder where they came from," snorted Bo.
"Why, what are you implying, detective?" Boss asked, scrunching his face up as he did so. "I don't know nothing about those diamonds."
"Yeah, don't know nothing-"
"So if I get a warrant to search your office, I won't find any evidence of you sending these boys out to traffic stolen diamonds for you?" Hutch wore a straight face, hoping that Boss would buy his bluff.
Rosco flinched and raised his hands in a nervous gesture. "Uh, Boss-"
Boss brushed him away as one would a fly, then turned nervous eyes to Hutch. One could almost see the wheels turning.
Hutch decided to push. "If I have to go to all that trouble, I'll make sure you get put away for a very long time."
"In a federal prison," Starsky added.
Boss looked between Starsky and Hutch several times, getting more frightened by the minute. Finally, he caved. "Alright!" he exclaimed, waving his hands in admission. "Alright, I sent them Dukes out to California to get those diamonds! But I didn't know they were stolen! Can't we work something out? You two look like nice, honest fellas-"
"Fellas that would take bribes," Rosco cut in. "You can have fifty percent of my fifty percent of his fifty percent-"
Boss's eyes grew large and he turned around to snap at the sheriff.
"Actually," Starsky said before Boss could speak, "We do have a proposition for you."
Boss turned back around, looking as interested as a kitten with it's first mouse. "You do, do ya?"
Starsky began, "It's pretty simple, really. We'll take these diamonds back to California where they belong, you keep the cookie jar, and we'll pretend this whole thing never happened."
"Deal!"
"And you drop the charges against them," Hutch added, jerking his thumb at the cousins.
Bo and Luke smiled at each other from where they were leaning against the General.
Boss glared at the Dukes, then looked heartbroken as he watched the diamonds glitter through the thin fabric sack. Suddenly he jerked as if physically struck, shaking his head wildly. "Uh-uh! I ain't givin' you my diamonds so you can pocket them for yourselves!"
"Ooh!" Rosco exclaimed, pointing a finger. "Boy, they sure are sneaky-"
Hutch rolled his eyes. "We are not going to keep them," he said as Starsky raised the sack out of Boss's grasp. "We're officers of the law, bound to do the right thing and take them back to their rightful owners."
"We're normally not so forgiving," Starsky said, crossing his arms. "So if you refuse, we'll gladly call up the nearest law office and have them send someone over here. Who do you suggest I call, Luke?"
"That would be Sheriff Little of Chickasaw county."
Starsky took a step towards the Torino.
"No! Stop!" Boss cried out, moving to grab Starsky. Starsky danced out of his grasp and Boss let his hands fall heavily. He took a deep breath and squinted, then began fidgeting. "Alright, alright, you win," he ground out. "You can take the diamonds." He slumped in defeat and it was obvious that giving up valuables was extremely hard for the man. Rosco even stepped forward and placed his hand on Boss's shoulder.
"And you'll drop their charges," Starsky prompted.
"Yes, yes, and I'll drop their charges," Boss mumbled, reaching inside his white jacket and retrieving a cigar. He chomped down on it and furrowed his brows, clearly unhappy with the situation's turnout. "I'm holding you to your word that you'll forget about all of this. You just wipe the slate clean and forget we ever met."
"Forget about what?" Hutch grinned, watching the commissioner head back to the patrol car.
"Uh, Boss," Rosco started as Boss opened the car's passenger door. "Does this mean I won't get my fifty percent of fifty percent?"
"Rosco, I swear… when they was handin' out brains, you was hiding. Now get in. We gotta get back to the Boar's Nest and make sure all my paperwork is in order."
Rosco opened the driver's door and brushed the hay off the seat before plopping into it. "Sure thing, little fat buddy. Do you think we could stop and get a hot dog first? My stomach's been grumbling-"
"No!" Boss exclaimed as the engine started. "There's no time to eat, we got work to do!"
Hutch backed up as the sheriff put the car in reverse and slid out from under the remaining hay, just missing the Torino. The black cow that had wandered over to eat paid the car no mind, and continued eating the hay from where it fell upon the ground. The patrol car backed onto the road then stopped as it was shifted into drive.
Starsky laid an elbow on Hutch's shoulder as the marked car drove away. A light cloud of dust filled the air as the sounds of the arguing sheriff and commissioner grew fainter. Starsky took a breath. "Well, I'd say that this case is closed, huh Hutch?"
Bo and Luke moved forward as well, and the four of them stood shoulder to shoulder, watching as the patrol car disappeared over a hill.
"You know, I've never seen you so… easy," Hutch commented with a nod, giving his partner a small grin.
"Yeah, well," Starsky began, puffing up his chest as he grabbed for words, "I gotta take it easy on the slow, country folk. You know, talk slowly and use small words," he muttered just loud enough for Hutch to hear. "And hey, for once, everyone wins. No harm done, right?"
"I wanna thank you for getting Boss to drop the charges like that," Luke spoke up. He turned to Starsky and held out his hand. "You're good cops."
Hutch smiled as Starsky shook Luke's hand. "I'm a good cop. I don't know about this guy," he teased, then took Luke's hand in his own.
Starsky shot him a look. "You're just jealous because you don't have a nice car."
"I am not jealous of that tomato."
The Torino sat quietly where it had been left, and just listened.
"Hey, whaddya say we head back to the Boar's Nest?" Bo asked, looking over his cousin's head.
Hutch saw a devious grin appear on his partner's face and a ball of uneasiness settled in his stomach.
Starsky tensed, like a bird before flight. "I say the last one there buys drinks."
"And I say I'm walking," Hutch said, trying to break the tension between the Dukes and his child-like partner.
"You still owe us drinks from last time," Bo said to Starsky.
"Double or nothing."
"You're on."
"Come on!" Starsky tugged on Hutch's arm as he darted towards the Torino. Bo and Luke were running back to the General, and Hutch watched them just long enough to see Luke leap onto the General's hood, slide across it on bent legs, and drop to the ground on the other side.
Hutch shook his head.
In the next second, he was pulling the Torino's door shut and the race was on.