Losing Innocence – Act II (of ?)
By: Rissa
Rated PG-13, for language and violence in later parts.
Genre: Drama/Angst
Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto-sensei.
A/N: This is not AU. Thank you Ness-sama for betaing.
"..." - normal speech
'...' - Kyuubi thoughts
Naruto's inner thoughts are in italics.
Naruto awakens early the next morning feeling happy and well rested. He rubs his eyes and stretches under the bunched folds of his blanket, the memories of a dream filled with silvery starlight and leafy tree branches fading quickly as reality filters in. His small room is aglow with the warm, golden rays of the early morning sun, and the thought of staying in bed any longer when the day is so bright and cheerful sounds as appealing as scrubbing pots in the kitchen. For the first time in memory, Naruto rises and slips out from under the covers before waiting for his door to be unlocked. This will be his first step towards making good on his promise, the vow he made to himself last night before falling asleep, that today would be different, that he'd make the oyaji proud, and that nothing was going to stop him from becoming a ninja.
Naruto takes his time moving around the room, his movements still sluggish and sleep laden, and he yawns excessively while he ponders his surroundings. On a whim he decides to make his bed, something he often entirely forgets to do during his normal morning rush. He has to crawl across the covers to reach the far corners, which creates dips and wrinkles under his hands and knees that he has to smooth and straighten several times over before being satisfied. He goes through his meager collection of drawers and picks out his clothes for the day, laying them out piece by piece on the long edge of his bed with an air of pride in their display. Blue shorts, a green shirt with an orange swirl on the chest, and his favorite pair of underwear – white briefs with a repeating pattern of tiny green frogs on the waistband. With his clothing picked and laid out, Naruto moves to the other side of the small room and dumps the contents of his backpack on the little table in one great heap. He takes his time and repacks the bag carefully, making sure the papers lie neat and flat on the bottom and his pencil case is perched perfectly on top of the stack. He smiles when he finishes and sits down in his empty chair, feeling quite proud of himself for being so neat and adult for once in his life. Surely the oyaji will be just as pleased when he comes this morning and sees the effort Naruto is putting towards being a good student and a good ninja.
Other Naruto stirs soon after and tells Naruto that his key bearer is approaching from the stairway. Naruto balls his hand atop his lap, feeling his heart rate speed up just from those few words. A light sweat breaks out on the back of his neck, and it takes a strong force of will for him to not let the fear that always rises up within him take over, like hissing voices telling him to run, hide, crawl out the window, do everything in his power to get away as fast as possible. The urge to flee grows stronger when he finally hears the faint footsteps approaching his door from down the hall, and his breaths begin to shorten with every footfall that grows steadily louder.
He doesn't know who it is that unlocks his door every morning, or if it is even the same person day after day; he suspects that it's someone in the household, which does not go far to reassure him of his safety. It is a horrible period he endures every morning, this game of waiting in fear for any number of bad things to happen… even if so far nothing ever has. His fear is childish and pathetic, he knows that, other Naruto tells him those exact words every day, but Naruto can't help the way his heart beats faster or how his breath comes shorter while he waits for the sound of the turning lock.
It's difficult to describe his fear, or explain in reasonable terms why it has the power to weaken him so much. He isn't entirely sure why his heart hammers so fiercely, or why sometimes it gets hard to breathe, or why the irrational notion to let other Naruto take over and do the thinking for him overwhelms his thoughts. Usually Naruto has the protection of his blanket to retreat under while he waits out the fear, a cold burning that takes over him for a few brief, terrifying seconds, before slowly receding back to the bottom of his heart, where it lies in wait to reappear the next day. But Naruto knows with a chilling certainty that he is scared of that unknown person with the key to his freedom; he is scared that one day not only will the lock turn, but the door will open and the person will walk into his room, and they will have eyes like ice and a cruel sneer on their face. When that happens, all of Naruto's sleeping nightmares of being hurt will come true, and no one will care except the oyaji, but he will be too far away to hear Naruto crying for help.
Naruto hears the key slip into the lock, and before it even finishes turning he is out of the chair and running to the far corner of the room just behind the table and to the left of the window. Pure instinct tells him that this is the safest place in the room to hide, with the sunlight shielding him from sight and the door having to swing in toward him. The deadbolt slides into place with a loud, foreboding click. Naruto stays pressed into the corner of the wall, feeling his palms grow clammy and wet with sweat. He waits a few frantic heartbeats before he starts to silently, quickly, count up from the number one. When he reaches 40 his legs give out and he slides down the wall to the floor, curling his arms around his folded knees. At 60 he is finally able to make out the sound of his heavy breathing over the blood pounding in his ears. At 85 he pauses to wipe his nose, quietly and self-consciously, on the sleeve of his pajamas. At 99 he takes a deep breath and stands up, wiping his hands on the legs of his pants and straightening his shoulders as he faces the closed door.
"One hundred," Naruto whispers into the silence, feeling warm relief flood through him at the power that number has to banish every irrational fear and dark thought from his mind. Suddenly the room seems much brighter, much safer, and it lightens Naruto's mood enough to make him smile for having survived another morning intact.
Other Naruto calmly, and with a small touch of annoyance at being asked, informs Naruto that there is no one in the hallway anymore, or near their end of the house for that matter. Fearless once more, Naruto skips to his door and throws it open, a loud bang echoing down the hallway as it strikes the opposite wall. Naruto laughs out loud as he walks into the bathroom.
Naruto half expects the oyaji to show up in his room again when he returns from brushing his teeth and using the toilet, but he is disappointed to discover that the room is just as bare as it was when he left it. Naruto dresses slowly, his thoughts preoccupied, wondering at the sudden change and whether yesterday was supposed to be repeated. He collects his backpack and hefts it over his shoulder, then realizes that the oyaji might be waiting downstairs for him today. Delighted by the thought, Naruto quickly shuts his door and flies down the hallway on nimble, sandaled feet. His yellow blur runs past a surprised guard and down the stairs to the dining room, where he skids to an abrupt halt. Naruto's jaw drops open in surprise.
The oyaji isn't there either.
Several heads lift at Naruto's appearance in the doorway. Most of them look back down at their meals right away, while the rest give him varying degrees of the same cold, bothered look.
Naruto closes his mouth and looks down, shuffling his feet. "Good morning," he murmurs politely.
His greeting is ignored, the same as it always is every morning. Someone coughs, a few hushed whispers are tossed across the table, and the other people finally look away to resume eating. Naruto's feet are given haste by the sudden drop in the room's temperature, and he quickly crosses the smooth wood floor to enter the adjacent kitchen. The cook on duty, a rotund woman with gray speckled hair escaping from under her hair net, ignores Naruto's presence as she deliberately moves around his small form to check on various bubbling pots. A full five minutes later, during which Naruto has yet to move from his spot, she dismissively drops a bowl of soup and rice on the edge of the counter. Naruto collects his breakfast with a soft 'thank you' that goes unreciprocated, and balances the two bowls in each hand as he walks back into the dining room.
There are two large tables in the dining hall: one is entirely full of servants eating their breakfast, and the other holds only a few people clustered around a single end. Naruto knows where he is expected to sit, and obediently goes to the vacant end of the mostly empty table. The rice in his bowl is unburned but barely warm, and the miso soup tastes chalky and old, nothing like the delicious bowl he was given yesterday while the oyaji was there. Maybe the oyaji will come to get him after breakfast. Naruto eats quickly, finding it easier to ignore the unpleasant taste with that happy thought running through his mind.
Once finished, Naruto creeps back into the kitchen and manages to slip his bowls into the large sink without being noticed, which saves him from being caught and told to clean up his own mess. He leaves the dining room quickly and enters the building's main foyer, where a few people mill around the entrance and two guards in uniform stand on either side of the front exit, their watchful eyes observing the coming and going people as a fresh morning breeze wafts through the open door.
Naruto looks around anxiously for any sign of the oyaji in the front hall. He is disappointed again to see no sign of the familiar white robes or the top of the oyaji's strange hat. Undeterred and unwilling to give up so soon, Naruto walks towards the exit along the right-hand wall, keeping away from bigger legs belonging to taller people not watching where they're going. Maybe the oyaji is waiting for him outside.
Right before he reaches the open door, a lone figure pulls itself away from the wall and approaches him, blocking his exit. The man is tall, taller than the oyaji, with a funny pineapple looking head and a relaxed frown on his face. He's definitely a ninja; Naruto can tell just by looking at the shabby green vest he's wearing. What's odd though is that other Naruto is sizing up the man like he's getting ready for a fight.
Fight? What? I don't even know him. You're weird.
"Uzumaki?" the man says when he's standing over Naruto, looking down with his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants.
"Yes," Naruto answers, a little nervous.
"I'm to escort you to school this morning. It's the Hokage's orders. Please come with me."
The ninja walks out the door, heading toward the gate, but Naruto hangs back on the steps, the oyaji's words stuck in his head. Do not go with anyone, even if they say they're sent by me.
The man stops and turns his head to regard Naruto. He looks neither angry nor upset, like so many other people do when they look at him. He simply looks patient and bored, which dispels some of Naruto's nervousness and chases away the urge to run back inside the house.
"Hokage-sama said you might be unwilling to come. He said you should ask your friend if it's alright, if I'm telling the truth. Whatever he meant by that," the ninja mutters. He peers at Naruto curiously, as if expecting an explanation to this strange message.
I don't wanna go with him. Where's the oyaji?
'He isn't here. There's no trace of his chakra nearby, but I sense no malicious intent from this ninja. Either he's telling the truth, or he's very good at hiding his emotions; better than a normal person can.'
Um, so it's safe? Oyaji really sent him?
'I never said it was safe. You can't trust him, but a ninja with no desire to kill us is a more desirable escort than venturing outside on our own. Just keep your eyes open and get ready to run if I tell you to. Alright?
Okay… but I want oyaji, Naruto thinks with a small whine.
'No creature great or small can get what they desire immediately when they want it. That is what planning, preparation, and patience are for. You would be wise to consider learning those traits, as even the most foolish of creatures can be saved by patience in the end.'
Naruto absorbs this cryptic message in silence before giving his head a quick shake, as if ridding his mind of the excess clutter. You're weird.
Naruto feels other Naruto turn away from his thoughts, effectively ending the conversation.
Naruto looks up and nods his assent to the ninja, who raises an eyebrow in curious disbelief before visibly shrugging and turning to lead the way outside. Naruto follows a few steps behind the man as they walk out of the compound's gates and make their way to the Academy. The ninja offers no conversation, only walks at the same slow pace with both hands shoved into his black pants, his face averted toward the blue morning sky. They make it to the school without incident, though Naruto feels distinctly deflated after the silent trek. He hadn't dared skip around or run ahead of the other man out of fear of getting in trouble. If the ninja got mad and didn't protect them like other Naruto said they needed to be protected, they'd be alone and then anything bad could happen.
On the steps of the school the ninja tells Naruto that he will be there in the afternoon to pick him up, though his voice holds none of the gentle concern and warning that the oyaji's had the day before. Naruto gains a little understanding in that moment of what it means to be a ninja. This man is simply doing a duty, and perhaps might not even care personally if Naruto doesn't show up or goes off with someone else. His sense of loneliness without the oyaji there flares up painfully, and Naruto feels his eyes sting with the urge to cry.
Naruto blurts out a choked, "Thank you," before running into the building as fast as his short legs will carry him.
When the front door to the school shuts behind Naruto he leans against the inner wall to catch his breath and wipe away the moisture at the edges of his eyes. He will not cry. He promised oyaji he'd be strong, and ninjas don't cry. But more importantly, he promised himself that he would never cry because of school again; because if the oyaji saw him crying he might take him out of school, and then Naruto would never learn anything or make friends like he wants to. Naruto doesn't want that to happen, not ever.
Naruto takes several deep, calming breaths to clear his head. His cheeks are warm with embarrassment, knowing that he'll show up in front of his classmates looking winded and like he was crying. Naruto steps out of the alcove after a few minutes have passed, walking down the twisting hallway past other classrooms and older students to where his classmates are slowly filing through the open door. Naruto immediately becomes aware of the unease in the air when he steps across the threshold. The first thing he notices is the brief, wide-eyed look of surprise that Harumi-sensei gives him, which quickly transforms into an icy glare that makes Naruto's stomach twist unpleasantly in warning.
Naruto quickly shuffles to the back of the classroom and takes his seat. His cheeks are red again and his eyes shy away from the stares and whispers of the other students. Their voices are filled with soft snickers, the sound like cold fingers brushing against his naked neck, and it sends a shiver down his spine. Naruto feels a wave of bitter helplessness wash over him. He is nothing more but small prey under the scrutiny of twenty drooling, sharp jaws waiting for the perfect opportunity to snap shut.
Naruto's despairing thoughts are interrupted by an odd, annoyed sound from other Naruto.
'You idiot. I'm no one's prey, especially not to a bunch of sniveling, human children. Ignore them and their petty jealousies, or we're going home.'
Immediately embarrassed and chastised by that heavy voice, Naruto slides down lower in his oversized chair. He is immensely grateful for the ringing bell a minute later that signals the start of class.
To his relief, Harumi-sensei does not look at or call upon him again for the rest of the morning. In fact, she seems quite content to pretend that Naruto does not even exist. Some of the braver students in class are emboldened by this lack of attention, and several times during the period Naruto finds pea-sized spit wads being thrown at his desk. As time goes on the shots get more accurate, and by lunchtime he's picking small lumps of damp paper out of his hair in front of the big mirror in the boy's bathroom. Naruto decides, wisely, to stay in the bathroom for the rest of lunch.
When Naruto returns to the classroom, he's surprised to find the students lining up at the door with Harumi-sensei at the head. She directs the group to walk single file through the halls of the school and out one of the side doors. During the walk Naruto catches snippets of conversation from the other students, and overhears that the class is being taken to their first taijutsu lesson. Today they will be meeting their combat instructor for the first time. The other students are clearly excited at this news, and their enthusiasm manages to dispel Naruto's dour mood from the morning. It brings a smile to his face as he brings up the end of the line.
The class is taken outside, led across a worn grassy field, and enters a large indoor gym and training center on the school grounds. As they file inside, Naruto looks up in wonder, mouth agape. The building is huge, with a high ceiling and skylights covering much of the open space. The other children in his class seem to be equally awed and impressed, and their voices are filled with hushed, excited whispers. When Naruto looks around, he sees that there are two other groups of children already inside the building with them. All are older students. Some are clustered in small groups practicing together, while others are sparring one on one in separate corners, and one large group is lined up in a neat row in front of their instructor as they mimic the teacher's movements.
A man around the same age as their teacher steps forward when Harumi-sensei leaves the line. His bowl-cut hair is midnight black and matches his thick black brows, while his tall and wiry body is clad head to toe in forest green. Despite the unusual attire, he flashes a white, sparkly smile at the gathered students.
"Welcome, first years! My name is Gai Maito, Chuunin, and I will be your taijutsu instructor for the rest of your school days! Please do your best, as I will be doing my best too!"
Some of the students giggle nervously, while others simply gawk incredulously. Naruto stares in awe.
"Now then! I see you are all eager to begin the first lesson. But first, has anyone here had any experience fighting hand-to-hand combat before?"
No one near Naruto moves to answer the question, but farther down the line there is a hushed murmur that ripples through the students. Naruto leans forward to look down the row of bodies, trying to see what has caught their attention.
"Ah! Hyuuga-kun!" Gai-sensei exclaims happily, focusing on a student out of Naruto's sight. "Please step forward, this will be an excellent time to demonstrate some of the things we will be learning this year."
Naruto watches, quite curious, as a pale boy with shoulder length black hair steps forward. He has a band of leather across his forehead and is wearing a plain, gray yukata with long sleeves that reach to the tips of his fingers. When he turns to stand next to Gai-sensei, Naruto sucks in a surprised breath of air. The boy has no eyes. Nothing but white pupils stare back at the students.
Other Naruto stirs, drawn by Naruto's strong reaction to the sight of the Hyuuga's eyes. 'Ah. So one of them is here.'
One of what? What's wrong with him? He doesn't have any eyes!
'Nothing is wrong. It is the bloodline of that particular clan. It allows him to see the chakra lines of his opponent and gives him a 360 degree field of vision. But he is just a mere pup. It will be many years before he learns how to master the Byakugan.'
He can see?
'Quite normally, just like you can. It is their blood that changes the eyes to white. A marker, you might say.'
What's a blood… bloodthingy?
'A bloodline. It is a particular trait passed through a family after many years of genetic selection and controlled breeding practices. Barbaric tradition. Usually some form of ninjutsu or genjutsu which the family specializes in above all other abilities.'
Is that… good?
'Among your kind, I suppose so. Bloodlines are advantageous in battle and often turn the tide of wars depending on what group has the most users of a bloodline.'
They're really strong?
'Compared to you, yes.'
So cool! Can I have one?
'You don't find a bloodline to have; you're born with it. And you were not born with one.'
But, but that's not fair! I really want one.
Other Naruto snorts. 'Bloodlines are an outdated human practice likely to make the carrier mentally retarded on some level due to hundreds of years of inbreeding and infanticide. You do not need a bloodline, nor should you desire one. You have me.'
Before Naruto can ask what his friend means by that, his attention is drawn back to the scene in front of him by the surprised cheers of the other students. Gai-sensei is lying flat on his back, looking a little winded, and Hyuuga stands over him with both arms at his sides, looking completely relaxed and not a bit surprised. Naruto's mouth drops open in amazement.
'My, my. Impressive. The pup has some skills after all.'
Naruto squeaks audibly before he remembers and snaps his jaw shut. You saw?
'Of course I saw, weren't you watching?'
No! You were talking! I missed it. What'd he do? What'd he do! Tell meee!
'You're so noisy. A ninja would be far more observant to what's going on around him. I'm disappointed.'
Naruto scowls inwardly. You're mean. I'm not a real ninja yet. Tell!
'Perhaps later, and only if you stop asking. For now, keep your eyes open and watch. Your kind depends quite heavily on this form of fighting, and it would do you good to prepare our body for future combat situations.'
Naruto gives one last mental huff as he watches Gai-sensei pick himself off the floor with an impressive flip that puts him on his feet in one bound. The man is sporting a wide grin that – oddly enough – perfectly matches his winded and disheveled state. He enthusiastically claps Hyuuga on the back, and the smaller boy stumbles forward a step in surprise at the contact. It's the first time Naruto's seen the other boy look a little ruffled.
"Excellent maneuver, Hyuuga-kun! Your energy of youth is amazing to behold! Remember this day well my glorious children, one day each of you shall best me just as Hyuuga-kun has done using the raging fires burning within your souls! Now who will be the next to challenge me?"
Most of the class members giggle nervously, and a few shuffle their feet in curiosity. Hyuuga walks off the floor mat with even, measured steps to take his place again at the front of the line. After a moment another boy bravely steps forward and raises his hand, much to Gai-sensei's delight, and they immediately begin a sparring match on the thick mat. Naruto can't help but lean forward to try and catch a glimpse of the amazing boy with white eyes and black hair. He takes a step out of the line, but stops when he feels the sudden pressure of an icy glare on his back. Naruto knows without turning around that Harumi-sensei is the owner of that stare, and he quickly hops back into his place.
Mou, it's not fair. I want a cool bloodline thing too. I'm gonna ask oyaji if I can get one. Maybe he knows how to get it, cause you gotta get it from somewhere right?
'That would be pointless, in many ways. The old man is in even less of a position to give you such a trait. Second, with me aiding you, your potential far outweighs anything that Hyuuga child could dream of achieving even with a lifetime of training.'
No way! I can be stronger than HIM? Yeah! Are you gonna show me how, please?
'In time, kit. In time.'
The days move into weeks, and the weeks blend into months as time passes much like it always does. Fall begins to show the first hint of color as the season progresses, the days becoming inevitably shorter as the nights grow colder. School becomes routine rather than awkward and new, and through some miracle of tenacity Naruto manages to hold tightly to his desire to learn everything the Academy has to offer him. Like a dry sponge, he arrives each day ready to learn and explore what realms are opened for him through the guidance of his teachers. Basic academics are taught every day from morning till afternoon, topics like reading, writing, mathematics, history, culture, and art—though all of the subjects bear a noticeable bias towards the ninja way of seeing and living life. (It is what the school was created for, after all.) Two days out of the week Naruto and his classmates leave their classroom after lunch and spend two grueling hours in the gym under the tutelage of Gai-sensei and his own brand of impressive taijutsu. The training is hard work, and those days Naruto walks home feeling sore in places he never knew existed, but the rush of air through his hair and the rhythmic pacing from performing move after move is addicting, and this part of the day soon becomes the one he most looks forward to.
Things aren't easy though. By far in fact they seem to only get harder. Naruto tries his best to avoid resenting things outside of his control and letting them affect his happiness, but the strain is a noticeable pressure at the edges of his awareness that some days threatens to be unbearable. The children in his class deviously refrain from being overtly malicious and drawing unwanted attention, but incidents do happen with more regularity than Naruto is comfortable with. Accidental pushes in the hallway, a foot stuck out at the last moment while descending the steps in the classroom, his paper and pencil snatched off his desk and never returned—these amount the most flamboyant of the cruel treatments. Behind those acts lie a frothing resentment and jealousy that seems to burn strongly within the breast of every student in his class. Those who do not partake in the pushing and the teasing look upon him no less coldly, and their glacial expressions and unmasked sneers are genuine enough to make Naruto's chest tight with fear and confusion each time he comes under attack of one of those looks.
It's a state of being that other Naruto is often very displeased to find him in, which has inevitably led Naruto to many restless nights beneath the covers of his bed crying silently at the incomprehensible cruelty that is dished out to him every day. Other Naruto always takes the time to explain in simple, direct words that Naruto is hated and despised, and he says, most importantly, feared by these people. He never explains why though, and never answers when Naruto poses the question desperately, both aloud and within the halls of his mind. Why do they hate me? Why why why?
'Some answers are best left unsaid,' is the favored response to Naruto's ranting, and the sheer emotional exhaustion from the ordeal often leads to Naruto swiftly falling asleep and tumbling toward a land of fitful dreams, wherein lies the smell of smoke and burning red eyes that devour the essence of his soul with one heated, searing look.
To be fair, not everyone partakes in the daily bullying Naruto begins to perceive as a badge that represents a large part of his existence. Harumi-sensei's rarely acknowledges Naruto except to scold him, usually for small infractions that most teachers would choose to overlook. Otherwise she is indifferent to Naruto's presence, though Naruto comes to realize early on that his teacher's lack of attention is what helps to motivate his peers to continue with their tormenting. Then there are those who simply do not care to bother themselves with the small boy bearing strange whiskers on his cheeks. Hyuuga Neji is one of these students, and Naruto develops a burning admiration for the boy with the white eyes who excels so easily at everything he does. It helps that he is able to watch Hyuuga carefully and openly without suffering under the backlash of withering words or a sharp glare. The boy simply doesn't acknowledge anything, neither basking in nor denying the attention that Naruto and many of the other classmates bestow upon him.
Naruto can't help but feel empowered when he looks at Hyuuga, his head swimming with those wonderful words that other Naruto told him the first day of their first taijutsu lessons. If Naruto works hard and pays attention, he could be as good as him—no, he could be better! Other Naruto hasn't lied once to Naruto, and Naruto's trust in the wise voice within his mind is something deep and unconditional that he can't entirely explain the reasoning for. All he knows is that in a world of hostile faces and cold looks, there exists at least two people who see and know Naruto for who he really is, and acknowledge the potential and hard work he puts into becoming a ninja. Naruto can't help but trust and follow the voice in his head, because it is all the guidance he has when the oyaji is not around, which is disappointingly not often enough.
Naruto's escort—who he learns after the first week passes is a Jounin by the name of Nara—becomes his permanent companion going to and from school each day. The man is silent, and in a word could almost be described as lazy. He never speaks to Naruto, but his detached demeanor is like warm sunlight when compared to the chilling atmosphere Naruto endures much of the time in the presence of his classmates and the staff at the Hokage's compound. Once Naruto moves beyond his initial suspicion of the quiet ninja, he begins to look forward to seeing the tall, dark haired man waiting for him at the door every morning, and then again at the edge of the courtyard in front of the Academy after school. But after the first month passes Naruto begins to return more frequently to the question of why the man accompanies him at all. He knows the way to school quite well by this time, and feels completely capable of walking himself to and from the Academy without help. Personal observation and many bouts of teasing have made it painfully clear that he is the only student in his class—no, the entire school—who has a uniformed ninja walking them to and from the institute.
The first time Naruto makes his displeasure known to the oyaji over having an escort happens two months after the school year starts, voiced during one of their periodic, nightly meetings in Naruto's room. While truthfully Naruto wishes that it was the old man walking him to school, he understands that he is no where near the top of a very long list of things the oyaji takes care of every day. This knowledge comes from both the anecdotes the oyaji tells him when he's in a good mood, and through the bone deep weariness Naruto sees him carrying while they talk quietly at Naruto's bedside. Naruto feels acutely sympathetic to the exhaustion on the oyaji shoulders, having felt something all too similar at the end of those days when things have gotten too carried away at school, and he has to fight back the urge to cry from the unfairness of his treatment. He doesn't plan to ever tell that to the old man though, and never again will he cry in front of him, or really tell him what the children say and do to him when the teacher isn't looking. The oyaji has enough burdens to bear without Naruto's childish fears adding to the pile, and Naruto accepts his secrecy as the price he must pay in order to make the oyaji proud of him for becoming a ninja.
But when Naruto whines and pouts, insisting that he's old enough and perfectly capable of taking himself to and from school, the oyaji resolutely shakes his head no and refuses to hear any more arguing on the matter. With the kind of tact only an adult knows how to pull off well, the oyaji changes the topic and distracts Naruto with talking about how his taijutsu training is coming along. Naruto remains oblivious and completely tricked until later that evening, when the lights are turned off and the door is locked, and then he wonders why the oyaji didn't want to talk about Nara-san. It isn't like the oyaji to ever derail Naruto from talking about something, and this puzzlement weighs on Naruto's mind until he drifts off into an uneasy sleep.
The next morning Naruto rises sluggishly from bed, his mind fogged with sleep and his sore muscles revealing just how fitfully he slept during the night. Naruto goes through the motions of his morning routine while still caught up in that foggy haze, and his inattention costs him a few extra minutes spent cleaning up in the kitchen when the cook catches him with his dirty dishes in hand. It causes him to be late meeting Nara-san at the door, though the man looks unperturbed and merely nods for Naruto to follow him into the sunlight and out of the main gates.
Naruto yawns behind his hand, feet shuffling a few steps behind the ninja as they walk down a narrow road placed between a row of small shops and apartment buildings. This early the numbers of people milling about are few, and those who are present are often walking purposefully in their own direction. Not many spare a look for the man and the small, blonde child with sleep clouded eyes drifting along in his shadow.
'Kid, wake up, something…'
Naruto blinks, not understanding other Naruto's tone past the hazy fog in his mind. At that moment things suddenly happen very fast. Naruto finds himself rooted to the spot, his legs no longer moving forward as he tells them to. He gasps and wakes up a little more in his surprise, an exclamation on his lips.
'Duck!' other Naruto commands.
Naruto tries to obey, but his legs refuse to move. Instinct kicks in and he goes limp at the waist, cradling his head against his knees. He feels his knees bending on their own to collapse painfully against the ground as he hears a woosh of movement overhead, followed by the solid thunk of two objects becoming embedded in the wall to his left. His legs are suddenly released from their paralyzing hold, and Naruto hits the dirt with his hands on all fours. Nara-san is gone from his side in an instant, and not a moment later Naruto hears the sounds of a heated scuffle going on behind him.
Naruto lifts his face, head swiveling to find the source of the commotion. A deep voice curses loudly, a fist meets flesh and bone crunches loudly, and then someone grunts in pain before falling silent. Naruto blinks against the bright sunlight and spots Nara-san standing at the entrance to one of the alleyways, holding the slumped body of a man over the crook of his arm. Naruto scrambles to his feet, feeling perplexed, surprised, worried, and definitely much more awake now.
Within a few seconds another ninja appears, a man dressed all in black and decked out from head to toe in metal plated protectors on his arms and legs. A painted mask is strapped to his waist, along with enough pouches to hold a small army's worth of weapons. His back is to Naruto, and he and Nara-san exchange a few words before the new man takes the unconscious load from Nara-san's arms and disappears as quickly as he arrived.
"Uzumaki-kun," Nara-san says, returning to Naruto's side. "Are you hurt?"
Naruto shakes his head, feeling strangely cold all of a sudden, and he shivers as a chill sweeps through him from head to toe.
Nara-san leans over and checks Naruto anyway, gently patting down his shoulders and brushing away some of the dirt from his hands, pants, and knees. "Some good reflexes you had there. Anyway, I'm afraid you won't be going to school today. We're going to go see the Hokage. My orders, okay?"
Naruto's expression turns crestfallen at the news, but he takes the gloved hand being offered to him by Nara-san. It is the first time Naruto experiences the jarring sensation of a teleportation jutsu, and it leaves his head reeling as they reappear outside of a large, circular tower on a busy street. Nara-san continues to hold Naruto's hand as he leads him inside and up a long flight of stairs to a curving corridor, and then to a large set of double doors.
Naruto's eyes sweep over the hallway while Nara-san speaks to the guards placed on either side of the doors. Other Naruto is prowling quietly in the back of Naruto's mind, still on edge after the unexpected events of the morning. Naruto still isn't quite sure what happened out on the street, but since they're going to see the oyaji he doesn't see the need to complain or demand answers.
Naruto and his escort wait outside of the doors for several minutes longer, Nara-san leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed and a bothered, serious look on his face. Naruto stays against the wall on Nara-san's right side, his curious urge to explore the new building faltering under the cold looks the guards are giving him from across the hallway.
Two ninjas leave through the double doors before Naruto and Nara-san are admitted into the office beyond. Naruto spots the oyaji sitting behind a desk in the center of the room, and he immediately runs behind the large piece of furniture over to his side.
"Oyaji!"
The Hokage smiles warmly at Naruto and lifts him onto his robed covered lap when Naruto attempts to scramble into the spot on his own. His wrinkled hand circles Naruto's shoulder and holds him safely in place while the two share a matching set of smiles.
"Why hello, Naruto. What brings you here today?"
Naruto shrugs, not quite sure of the reason himself. "Nara-san said I can't go to school today." He pouts, showing his displeasure at the news.
"Well I'm sure he had a good reason for it," the oyaji says apologetically. His wrinkle lined eyes move from Naruto's face to look at the ninja standing on the opposite side of the desk. "What happened?"
"There was another attempt," Nara-san reports, his voice much the same monotone as it always is.
Not particularly interested in the adult conversation, Naruto stretches out his arms to reach for the hat sitting on the oyaji's head. The old man removes it and places the hat in Naruto's outstretched hands to pacify him. His eyes are dark as they absorb the news.
"Another one. I see. Where are they now?"
"Anbu has taken him into custody. Nishiwa was the one on the scene who took him in."
The oyaji frowns. "They're getting bolder, attacking in broad daylight like this. Do you believe they're related?"
Nara-san gives the question a moment's consideration. "I don't believe so. The incidents are too isolated and without coordination. These have all been individuals moving on their own, obviously looking to land a lucky blow before they're apprehended. Everyone in a position to pose a threat knows of the security measures you've taken, which means they know full well that they're likely to be caught and jailed."
"And yet they continue. This is the third one in four weeks. Are they really that desperate?" the oyaji sighs to himself. His dry hand on Naruto's shoulder tightens. "Do you have any suggestions to offer?"
"Security is already as tight as it can possibly be around the boy. After enough are caught, perhaps it will set an example and deter the rest."
"Or inspire them to try harder, and in greater numbers," the oyaji counters gravely. His voice is dark with a quiet anger, and it makes Naruto lift his head, bright blue eyes filled with worry. Naruto places the hat on the desk and impulsively leans forward to hug the oyaji around his chest. He feels his back being patted comfortingly by the familiar hand.
"I'm not scared," Naruto proclaims in a muffled voice against the oyaji's robes.
"No, you're a very brave boy. Much braver than I would have thought you'd be. I'm proud of you, Naruto."
Naruto smiles under the warm praise and releases the oyaji from his hug. He turns around to pick up the funny shaped hat again, letting it rest on his head and hide him from view of the other two men. He giggles in delight, and the Hokage and ninja exchange mutual looks of understanding over the bobbing article.
Nara-san's voice takes on a slightly concerned edge. "Hokage-sama, you realize what the date is…"
"I do," the oyaji says. "It is something we are going to have to deal with, and hope that once it passes these attempts will die down. I suppose it's too much to hope for them to stop completely."
The other ninja's expression softens into what could almost pass as a wry smile. "Nothing is set in stone, Hokage-sama."
"Aa."
The old man tugs on the brim of his hat, only to have it yanked lower by two small hands, followed by another giggle from underneath. The oyaji smiles, fondly amused, but his eyes are grave and somewhat sad.
"Thank you, for your hard work, Nara-san. I felt I could entrust you with this mission, but I hadn't dared to think that it would come this far. You'll be duly compensated, I can assure you, but I don't wish to have you taking unnecessary risks. If this ever becomes too much for you, I insist that you let me know…"
"Hokage-sama," Nara-san interrupts gently. "It may… have been that way at first. But I'm starting to see, I think. Every time I look at him now, I see a little bit of Shikamaru, my own son. You know the complications we had to bring him into this world, and being a dad suddenly changes everything, turns your whole world upside down, helps you see things better. He and Naruto are the same age, you know? And their eyes… they're really not all that different."
The old man closes his eyes, as if relieved to hear Nara-san's words, and tips his head gratefully toward the Jounin. "Thank you, you've exceeded my expectations, Nara-san."
Naruto finds the hat being pulled gently but forcefully off his head, and he blinks up innocently at the oyaji, an impish smile on his face. "Can I go to school now?"
The oyaji replaces the hat on his head, his expression serious but concerned as he answers Naruto's question. "I've decided you won't be going to school today, Naruto. I'm sorry."
Naruto sighs in a huff. "Okay. Tomorrow!"
The Hokage gives him a sad smile. "Not tomorrow either. It's just for a few days, but I think it best that you stay in your room. I'll come by to visit you every day for awhile, and there will be someone there if you need anything."
Naruto's face scrunches up, his blue eyes clouded with confusion and anger. "Why? I've been good, I want to go, I promise I've been good. Oyaji, why?"
"I'm very sorry, Naruto. It's not forever, just for a few days. Children miss going to school all the time, sometimes they get hurt, or their family goes on a trip, or they get sick. We'll pretend it's one of those, that you're sick for a few days, and then you can go back to school in a few days, okay?"
Naruto feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He blinks and rubs his eyes furiously with the back of his hand before any of them have a chance to fall. With a loud sniff Naruto slides off the oyaji's lap, pulling away from the warmth of his hold as disappointment and sadness over the news settles like a rock in the pit of his stomach. The old man leans forward and puts his hand atop Naruto's shoulder in a comforting touch, but Naruto only feels empty as the implications of being told that he cannot go to school sink in with a depressing heaviness.
"If you stay on your best behavior Naruto, I'll come by your room to see you every night, and sometimes during the day, and maybe I'll even bring you a gift. Does that sound okay?"
Naruto shrugs, then nods a little, slightly pacified by the thought of getting a present, but still too sad to give any voice to his thoughts. He walks out from under the oyaji's touch and returns to Nara-san's side, head bowed and hands loosely clenched at his sides, feeling a wash of weak helplessness sweep over him. The old man and Nara-san exchange a few more words that are lost to Naruto in his disappointment and anger, and he is still in this cloudy haze of depression when he finally returns to his room several minutes later, the sound of the lock turning and sliding into place behind him with a loud sense of finality.
Naruto does not cry right away once he is alone. He drops his backpack on the floor, hearing the papers and books inside tumble into a disorganized mess, and takes one step toward his small chair before sinking to his knees, clutching at the threadbare carpet under his hands. A low scream of frustration burns its way up his throat, and comes out as an inhuman sounding growl that surprises even him with the intensity of the sound as it flies past his lips. He coughs, gasps, and tries to suck in a breath of air before he realizes that he's already started crying, and with a small wail he collapses fully onto the floor. Tears stream down his face as he kicks weakly at the carpet with his sandaled feet, fingers grappling for purchase on the rough burber, his silent, gasping cries muffled by the floor under his face.
Naruto eventually cries himself to sleep in this manner, and wakes up later that morning with swollen eyes and his tongue feeling dry as it sticks unpleasantly to the roof of his mouth. He leaves his backpack on the floor where it was dropped and crawls into bed, lying on top of the covers and staring up at the ceiling with an empty gaze of lingering sadness in his blue eyes. He doesn't want to think about what the oyaji said, or think about how he could be at school right now, learning, practicing taijutsu, anything but stuck in his room for no reason other than because he was told to. Naruto's freedom, however controlled and fleeting it may be outside of the compound walls, has become something precious to him, a part of his existence that he has begun to accept and look forward to with all the naivety of a three year old thinking that good things can last forever. It is a rude awakening for him, suddenly being under house arrest, more so than he has ever been in the past, and beyond the hurt and sadness there is a deep rooted confusion that once again brings up the question of why? Why this, why now, why did someone attack them today on the road?
Naruto digs past the layers of anger and sadness in his mind to where other Naruto lies quiet, watching the spectacle of this child vent his emotions and struggle to come to terms with the reality of the world around him, and he prods the other voice with a hesitant question.
Why can't I go to school?
'Because you were born,' other Naruto answers cryptically.
I don't… I don't get it. Why? Oyaji said I could go to school if I was good, and I was good! I was always good!
Naruto feels tears slide down his cheeks as his emotions well up once again, given new fuel by the opportunity to speak his thoughts freely with the voice in his head.
'Good, bad, it has nothing to do with what happens to you in life. Strength and power is what determines if things happen the way you desire. The old man is powerful, and he uses that power to control you and tell you what you can and cannot do. You have to become powerful too, more powerful than him if you want to do the things you desire. As long as there is always someone stronger than you, you will be subject to their whim, and you will be disappointed with your existence.'
But you're strong, right? Why can't you do anything? This isn't fair!
'Crying about it won't get you anywhere. This is your body, your life, your choice to become stronger, just like I've been telling you to. There's nothing that I can do except to tell you what to do. It has always been your choice whether to listen or not.'
Naruto sniffs and wipes away the pooling mess of snot under his nose. I'll listen. I promise I'll listen. Tell me how to be strong, please?
'First, you need to stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself. Get out of this bed and clear the floor. There's more than one type of training you can do, and we've got a lot of time to spare, and a lot to start working on.'
If the oyaji is surprised to find Naruto meditating on the floor later that afternoon, he does not show it, and only settles to sit on the edge of the bed until Naruto chooses to acknowledge him. A plate of food brought in earlier by a servant sits only half eaten on the small table on the other side of the room, and the old man stares at it critically for a moment before bringing his attention back to the small, blonde boy sitting with his legs carefully crossed and hands clasped together in front of his chest. Naruto eventually stirs and opens his eyes, sky blue orbs blinking several times before he notices the other person in his room. He gives the oyaji a faint smile, but does not scramble happily into the man's lap like he would have done on any other nightly visit, and the old man gives him back a soft, sad smile of unspoken regret and understanding of what has changed between them for the time being.
"When did you learn how to meditate, Naruto?"
"My friend taught me," Naurto answers, pushing himself off the floor. He walks over to his table and sits down to take a drink from the glass of water beside his half finished plate, back turned to the man on his bed.
"I see," the oyaji says. He reaches into one of the pockets of his robe and withdraws a small, flat package wrapped in brown paper. "Here, I brought this for you, so you have something else to do while you're out of school."
Naruto turns in his seat, his eyes catching sight of the gift as a toothy smile blossoms on his face. He springs out of his chair and darts over to take the package from the oyaji's hands, fingers clawing at the paper wrapping with an enthusiasm that makes the man smile to see. The brown covering falls away to reveal a thick pad of paper and a box of crayons in Naruto's hands, and the boy whoops happily upon discovering the surprise.
"Yah! Alright! Thanks oyaji!"
"You're welcome, Naruto. My only condition is that you show me everything you draw on that paper, so use them wisely and have fun drawing whatever it is your heart desires."
Naurto is already sitting on the ground, prying into the box of crayons, and he nods distractedly at the oyaji's words. "Okay. Ah so many colors! Hm what to draw…"
The oyaji chuckles as Naruto's tongue pokes out comically from the side of his lips, eyes lost in whatever deep contemplation has overtaken him as he ponders the difficult question of what will be the first masterpiece he sketches out. For the rest of his visit the old man sits patiently by as Naruto draws on the pad of paper, using wide, erratic arcs with the crayon in his fist, all the while deliberately keeping the pad turned away so as to not reveal his drawing until the very end. Naruto only stops once to eat and drink more before returning to his task, and it isn't until the waning sunlight is filtering into the room through the high window that he gleefully announces his completion of his first picture.
Naruto climbs up onto the bed next to the oyaji and drops the pad into the man's lap, before tumbling back down and resuming his earlier position on the floor, legs crossed and fingers interlocked tightly together as he closes his eyes. The third Hokage holds up the paper in front of him to catch the last of the light upon the page, and feels his throat catch at the sight of a large, sloppily drawn orange creature with four uneven legs standing in the center of the picture. His does not even need to count the number of tails coming from the back of the animal to know that there will be nine, and it is with a heavy heart that the old man closes the pad and sets it aside on the bed for Naruto to find later.
He rises from his spot and walks around the boy on the floor, withdrawing a metal key from his pocket as he approaches the door. His voice is wistful and slightly sad as he speaks into the room, knowing that somewhere in the depths of Naruto's meditative mind he will be able to hear the oyaji's words, though perhaps not be able to recognize the pain which sticks to every syllable and makes the third Hokage's chest tight with emotion. "Happy birthday, Naruto."
End Notes: This was going to be a three part series, but it's grown out of my control and become something much longer. As of right now the number of expected parts is unknown, sorry.
Huge thanks to Lain for their amazing review, and being the kick I needed to finally complete this chapter. Thank you! More to come in the future…