DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the setting and everything that you see in the Harry Potter books. Thanks to Rowling for a brilliant world to write of. However, I do own a few original characters and ideas. If anything in here seems related to another story/fanfic, sorry! It's really not.
Crystal-lightning41: I'm so glad you think Faye's cool. I was starting to think that she was a little too emotional and angry and stuff!
Its me again!!: Okay, okay, I'm going. Don't be so pushy. No need to threaten me! Lol!
ravenwingedarchangel: I've finally updated! I hit a writer's block, so it took me some time. Sorry!
Rhiannon's Dream: Lol, the mystery man isn't who you think it might be....Tordivel: I have witty language?? I feel so honored and happy. I think I'll go be more vain to my sister.
Markella: I hope this chapter doesn't bore you! It took me so long to get this up!!
I love CHEESECAKE: Lol, yeah! ::hits Sirius again:: But we all love Sirius anyway! O. Yeah, you just about got my hint. Think I should make it a bit subtler, then, so it'd come more as a surprise to new readers?
Joy: HAHA!! Get worked up!! muahahahah! Forget about school and just dwell over my wonderful story until you rot away... okay. Anyways— aren't you glad I finally posted?
EW4eva: Yeah, I changed the color of her eyes. I'm doing a lot of revision on this to fit into the plot I have in mind, so you didn't miss anything! Aww... I'm so glad you like my story so much!
Pirate grlEe: Argh, I tried to update faster. But now I caught a cold and my head really hurts... you should be glad I love you guys all too much! Lol. Eseech? Aren't you missing a b?
A/N: I think I might have finally gotten over my writer's block, so the chapters should be coming along faster. But as fast as during the summer—school has to mess everything up! T-T -- Yeah. So, anyways, enjoy! And of course, leave a review! Those reviews really made my day!
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---Chapter Seven: Breaking Apart At Last---
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"Um… what?" I asked the staring faces of my friends and the Marauders.
"Sirius Black and Faye Prewitt… not trying to bite one another's head off!" Potter said in a strangled voice, his ogling eyes almost popping out of his head.
"So this means that," Grace said, a sly smile lighting up her face, "you guys like each other!"
I felt as if I'd been hit over the head with a shovel—no, a dumbbell.
"I do not!" I said heatedly at the same time Black yelled,
"Never in a million years!"
"Uh huh," Remus said, his eyes glinting with amusement. "See, denial. They're definitely trying to cover up their real feelings. Come on, what were you guys just coming in from? A snogging session?" Potter let out a whoop of excitement.
"Woo-hoo, Paddy-poo! Let up! What'd you do to capture this fair maiden's heart?!" Potter sang. Then, in a more serious tone, he continued, "Go on, tell us. Is Prewitt a good snogger or what?"
CRACK! The sound was like a whip crack in the near-silent room. I had slapped Potter on his stupid, smart-ass face with all the strength I had. I knew that my own face was flaming red. And I knew the whole freaking common room was watching the show.
Potter had staggered back, holding his now-red right cheek and looking at me in something akin to grudging respect and admiration.
"Prewitt… you have one hell of a left hook," Potter swore, working his jaw and tenderly touching his cheek. I was pleased.
"Thanks. I've had practice on this loser," I said, shooting Black a glare.
He lifted his hands into the air. "What? None of this is my fault!"
I was aware that my so-called friends were laughing… howling with uncontrollable giggles at this.
"It is ALL your fault!" I yelled, shaking his shoulders, holding a shred of hope that I could somehow kill him if I shook him hard enough.
"Ah… those two lovebirds have gotten along better than I expected," Potter said, a dreamy expression on his face.
CRACK! I had slapped Potter other cheek. He just couldn't shut the hell up! His right cheek was already puffing up. I hoped his whole face swelled up—it would properly ruin his good looks.
"Get this through your thick skull!" I shouted dangerously. Potter actually seemed to wilt before my anger.
I rather liked it.
"I DON'T like Black! And he doesn't like me! What, we can't even call a compromise to make both our lives easier?"
"What sort of compromise, on what sort terms?" Potter voiced. "What did Sirius—?"
This time there was no crack. I punched him, and he stumbled back and collapsed. Punching topped slapping any day. Remus bent over him, and I heard Potter giggle, "Wheee! Remmy-poo, is that the Big Dipper? No, no, no!! I know what it is! It's Sirius!!! Hahahahaha—you get it? You get it??!!" Potter broke off and started laughing drunkenly.
"You knocked him senseless," Black protested, at the same time looking a bit impressed.
"And he bruised my knuckles," I snapped, waving my abused hand in the air. "I'm going to sleep now." I glared around at the rest of the people in the common room who were still avidly staring watching us with twitching faces.
"What're you all looking at!" I hollered. "Get back to your own businesses! Well, hop to it! NOW!!"
To my satisfaction, the people quickly complied. I stomped off towards the room that Black and I shared, dragging Black behind me. Black waved helplessly at the people.
"I guess she can't wait to be alone with me," he said. I kicked him—hard. But he was just like Potter: he wouldn't shut up. As soon as I slammed the door shut behind him, I strode over to my bed and flung myself onto it. I wished with my whole heart that I wasn't connected to him, so I could run away. Fast and far.
It was amazing. Just when I thought Black was actually, really showing me his good side—if he had one—he always had to blow it, which always happened when we were around his friends, or just anybody else. I just didn't understand it. And his no-good friend Potter… argh! I didn't know if I could face the school anymore, thanks to him.
ll----ll
And Black strikes again, I thought dully a few days later. It was breakfast time, right after the mail had been delivered, and Black and I were only sitting two seats apart, the farthest away we could get from each other without feeling the heartlessly cruel and unforgiving tug of the spell. Black was currently flirting with three girls at the same time, and all three of those dense puffballs were swooning under his supposedly "adorable" gaze. The sight gave me a stab of annoyance and irritation.
Picking at my food listlessly, I wondered why the whole school was under his spell. His and Potter's spell. From what I could see, they were really just people who happened to be blessed with some good looks, and they were disgusting players and perverts… and yet mostly everyone adored them. To make things worse, Black was actually smart… very intelligent. So was Potter. It gave me the shivers.
I arranged the food on my plate to look like a happy face, but then I changed it into an unhappy face. That was more like my day. The sooner I got out of the bond with Black, the better. I no longer felt like tearing his hair out and punching him black and blue… but I didn't think I could last much longer. He was just so annoying. He could be nice, at times, but he always made up for those rare occasions by being extra horny, mean, and sarcastic. I frowned at my unhappy face, and then I took out my wand and tapped my plate. The unhappy face was crying egg yolk now.
"Faye, you've got to eat something," Grace's voice interrupted my meandering thoughts. I looked up from my crying breakfast and tried to smile.
"I'm just not very hungry lately," I sighed. Grace frowned.
"Why? What's wrong? Did something happen?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.
"No… nothing happened. And that's exactly what's wrong," I said meaningfully, jerking my chin towards Black.
Grace choked on her bite of bacon. "OH MY GOD! You want something to happen between you and him?" she wheezed, looking at me in horror. "I thought—I thought you weren't that type of girl! And since when did you fall for him?"
"Huh?" I ask, confused. Then the second, hornier meaning that could have been derived from my words hit me, and I rolled my eyes.
"Grace, Grace, Grace, didn't you know?" I shook my head. "I want something to happen," Grace's eyes widened, and she leaned closer, "to break this stupid bond between us."
She slumped in her seat with disappointment. "Oh, well. I thought you getting a crush might have been too good to be true."
I snorted. "It's never going to happen. Anyway, do you have any suggestions? Any countercurses to this?" I jerked sideways, and Black yelped.
"Nope, sorry," Grace shook her head sadly, both of us ignoring Black, who was shouting at us. "But in my professional opinion, you should both to tie your worn, dirty socks around your forehead, walk around like that for five days, and then go stand stark naked in a barrel full of freshly cut toenails in the light of the full moon for—!"
"Then I'll just have to go back to the library this afternoon. The sooner I get rid of him, the better," I cut her off, glancing up at the head table. I noticed that Professor McGonagall and Delaney were watching me with a weird expression… amusement! I looked away angrily, distinctly disgruntled. Those teachers needed a life. I mean, torturing students for amusement? How much lower could they sink?
"But it seems as if you and Black have already combed the entire library!" Grace protested. "And you're never anywhere but in the library!"
"Except when Black drags me out to play Quidditch on the back of his broomstick," I scowled. "I have to ride on the same broomstick as him. I tried to follow him on a separate broomstick once, but that turned out to be a bad idea."
"Why?" Grace asked.
"Well, he has to shout out directions to me, right?" I said. "So then he was about to turn right, and I was too, and then a Bludger intercepted him. He swung his bat, and I kept on going right, and then he somehow ended up hitting himself with his own bat. And the Bludger got him as well, so the both of us fell."
"That's pretty sad," Grace shook her head. "Was Potter angry?"
"No, actually. He was laughing too hard, 'cause Black knocked himself out and couldn't hear a word he was saying anyway."
"Hah! I should have been there to see that," laughed Grace.
I laughed, too. But suddenly, I could feel the hairs rising on the back of my neck—I was being watched. I looked up sharply, and I saw Fiona, glaring at me all the way from Ravenclaw table. I rolled my eyes at her. Ever since I came back to school… my relationship with my half-sister had been close to… well… bloody murder was the best way of saying it.
After breakfast was over… it was time for Divination. And that damnable tango test that Delaney had assigned was to be done today. Grace, Leah, and I trailed a little behind Black and his own friends as we began the long, hard walk up to the North tower.
I averted my eyes as Black kissed a passing girl. The girl blushed crimson and rushed off, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste. I forced myself to keep from rolling my eyes. That was how he acted with every pretty girl. And he had recently broken up with Fiona. Lucky me; I had been there to witness the whole thing. Fiona had burst into noisy tears and begged him not to do that to her… and he had acted soothing and compassionate, but I saw through him. He had been wondering how soon he would be able to get away from the distraught Fiona. But hey, he had at least tried to comfort her. I had sat back and watched Fiona cry with ease. I didn't even talk to Fiona anymore. We completely ignored each other whenever we passed each other in the hallways, and we didn't even acknowledge that we had a sister. It didn't bother me, however.
Anyways— Black was sixteen and still so immature and unaware of other's feelings. But at least he never brought up my family with me. It was almost as if he had forgotten everything that had happened at Christmas. But sometimes, I'd catch his gaze flickering towards me with what I was sure was compassion and understanding in his eyes. But at least he never mentioned it to me again. I thanked my lucky stars for that every night.
"So, Faye, excited about the tango exam?" Grace asked.
"Huh?" I started, disoriented. "Oh, right. That. No, of course not. But I'm sure you are, Grace."
"I am," Grace said dreamily. "Remus is a wonderful dancer."
"At least you have a wonderful dancer for a partner," I snorted. "Black doesn't know the dance, and yet he won't let me lead! How stupid is that?"
"Typical male pride," Grace shrugged. "They think they know everything."
"Tell me about it," I sighed. "Black has a bad case of it. Both Black and Potter."
Grace shrugged. "Well, I guess they have a lot to be proud of."
I goggled at her. "A lot?"
"Yeah. They're popular, good-looking, smart, funny, rich, good Quidditch players… not to mention that all those swooning girls would really puff up their egos."
I grudgingly admitted that she was right. No matter how much I held them in contempt… I couldn't deny that they were nearly perfect. The key word was 'nearly.' Now, if they had a perfect attitude to go with their selves, then they'd be much more tolerable….
As soon as we all filed into Delaney's classroom, Delaney herself entered, probably hoping to impress us with some sort of grand entrance. It wasn't grand at all, quite the opposite, actually. She tripped on the hem of her robes and one of her jangling necklaces looped a student around the throat.
"Now, class," Delaney said as soon as she had righted herself and freed the choking student, "I know what to do. I had a foretelling… in which I was informed that your tango exam is to occur today!" There was a collective shudder at this.
It was terrible. I had no choice but to dance with Black, as we were bonded together.
"Black, we're going to the library after classes are over," I hissed as we started the tango. Delaney had gotten music to go with it. I thought I would go mad hearing that screechy horror of muddled sounds.
"No! I have a date with Marlene McKinnon!" he protested. I drew in a sharp breath.
"Listen, Black. I have no intention of following you around on your sickening dates! Your dates probably won't be very important, anyways, as you most won't be doing much talking! We are going to the library! The sooner we separate ourselves, the sooner you can go on your stupid dates by yourself!" I whispered ferociously, keenly aware of Delaney's bespectacled gaze following us. With a tremendous effort, I forced Black to turn as the dance progressed.
"Why are you always so pushy?" Black asked grouchily. "Go to the library… go do this, go do that… and turn!" I had to admit that his imitation of my voice was pretty accurate. Not that I appreciated being made fun of.
"I don't want to remain with you for the rest of my freaking life, and I want a good grade on this thing! Is that too much to ask for? Sweep! With your right foot, you idiot!" I shot back.
"Yes! You could be less uptight, you know!" We stepped together, each trying to outdo the other. I felt the competition in my bones.
"And you could be less laidback!" I hissed, raising my chin to stare at him defiantly. We turned away from each other.
"Stop being such a bossy know-it-all!" We came back together in the tango position. Anger was burning again… as it always did. I felt hot… as I always did these days.
"You're the bad dancer who wants to lead even though you don't know the moves!" We turned and stepped, still in tango position.
"I'm not a bad dancer!"
"You're in denial," I said.
"You're in your most annoyingly frustrating mode."
"At least I'm not you. Thank god I don't have the typical male pride!"
"Thank god I don't have your attitude!"
"My attitude? What about yours!"
"Er… dears…" Delaney's fluting voice cut into our conversation before Black could sling back another retort. "The dance is over."
"Oh," I said, quite surprised. I guess I'd had been absorbed in the argument with Black. I looked down at the ground, waiting for the FAIL that Delaney was sure to stamp onto our foreheads—literally.
"And I must say that you two were outstanding!"
I stared at Delaney. 'Outstanding" was the last thing that I'd have thought we deserved.
"The emotion you two portray! The feeling! The electricity! It was wonderful, enthralling, absolutely captivating!" Delaney said dramatically while I winced. I backed up a bit.
"My dears, you must do it again! It was absolutely perfect!" Perfect…? Dancing with Black was far from perfect. And I couldn't do it again. Not with Black. I took another step back… or tried to. My foot caught on something, and I fell backwards, painfully crashing into a hard shelf and severely bruised my back. I heard Black yelp as well, but he was still a little ways away from me.
I looked up, my neck cracking. Oh, God. I had crashed into the huge shelf filled with crystal balls. It was wobbling and shaking… and obviously about to fall over… right onto me.
I scrambled backwards, but I was too slow. The shelf came bearing down on me, and the heavy crystal balls thumped all over my body. Time seemed to slow down… I could hear my heart beating loudly, my breathing shallow and ragged…. I looked up and stared, transfixed, into one crystal ball that was falling, falling….
I saw it again. I saw the same image that I had seen during detention. I saw the image of fires… only it wasn't an image. I was somehow the girl that was me and somehow not… I could feel her emotions… but I couldn't understand why she felt that way….
I was burning in fires… hot, leaping, hungry flames filled my vision, and the heat cooked my flesh. The pain… the heat… it was incredible. I'd never felt anything so excruciating before… never, not even Henry's beatings could match this. Everything was bright with those roaring fires… I could vaguely make out a stone ceiling through the thick haze of smoke. And then… I saw someone else. Another black-haired girl. She was scrambling back in fear, trying to run for the door.
Anger, rage, fury… it all flooded into my veins, making me dizzy with it. I didn't know why I was angry… but I was going to do something about it. She was going to escape… and I couldn't let her. With a roar, new flames sprang up around the girl… she was going to die…. I knew it; I could feel it…
…And I reveled in it.
With a gasp, I wrenched myself free of… whatever was holding me in that… unreal place. Time sped up, faster than I could have imagined, and the rest of the crystal balls fell before the shelf toppled onto my with an ominous crash. I grimaced. The ridge of a shelf was cutting into my forearms; I had raised my arms impulsively to guard my face.
But I was too weak and shaky to actually do anything but breathe. I was hardly aware of people pulling the shelf off me, helping Black and I up…. I vaguely knew the Black hadn't been hit by the shelf… but I was too busy trying to control myself to note anything else. My breaths were coming in short, panicky gasps now, and I was shaking quite badly.
From far, far away, I heard Delaney say, "My dear! You have evidently seen some sort of vision in the crystal ball! Extraordinary! Tell us, honeybunch; tell us what you saw!" I shook my head dumbly, fearfully, my breath hitching in my throat. I felt hot all over… hot and throbbing. My skin was feeling burned.
"Mr. Black, why don't you take Miss Prewitt here to the hospital wing, then. It is obvious that her vision has left her frightened and distraught…" I didn't remember what I was here for. I couldn't remember… fear was clouding my mind, clogging my thoughts. I was in a panic… I had seen myself, been another me… burning another student to death! I didn't know how I had been doing it… but that I was doing it was enough to frighten me to my wit's ends.
I felt a hand gently take me by the elbow and lead me somewhere. I looked around me, seeing a haze of faces that all seemed to be saying something, but I couldn't make out what any of it was. I was walking somewhere… somewhere… my legs felt so weak… so weak.
"Prewitt… come on. We have to go to the hospital wing…"
Hospital wing…. I heard the sound from a long ways away. Only a small, sane section in the back of my brain registered what those words meant. I vaguely knew that I had bad burns all over my body… and if I went to the hospital wing, then Madame Linelle would have to see my back… and the scars I hid there.
I shook my head as hard as I could and let my shaky legs do what they wanted to do: fall down.
Someone swore… at another other time, I would have gasped at the amazing variety of colorful words… but now… I couldn't process any of it. Something vaguely jerked at my arm… and I was hauled to my feet. But my legs wouldn't support me, and I sat back down, looking around me in a daze.
"Dammit, Prewitt! I need to get you to the hospital wing!" the same someone hissed. I shook my head hard, but stopped as the world became even dizzier.
That person swore again. Then arms tugged at me, and suddenly I was lifted off the ground and carried off somewhere. I couldn't really think… except to notice that it was cold, now. After the heat I had felt… everything seemed cold. Except for the body that was holding me…. But… what if the person was carrying me to the hospital wing?
I weakly gripped whatever part of the person I could, trying to tell him not to take me there. I don't know if I made any sense, but I had to try. After more walking… I hazily realized that we were in the Gryffindor common room. Relief flooded my veins; we weren't going to the hospital wing.
"Okay… on your bed," someone panted, and I was dropped onto a soft bed. I shivered… it was so cold. A hand felt my forehead—I flinched— and that person swore yet again! Blankets fell onto me, swathing my entire body.
"Faye…" It sounded so close, now. But I still couldn't see anything but a blur of colors…
"Faye, you're too warm…" What the hell. I was freaking cold, and the stupid person was going on about how I was too warm. Something brushed my forehead gently.
I tried to pull back, but I lacked the energy to do so. Everything was getting even more muddled and confusing… blackness hovered right behind my consciousness, waiting to swallow me up. After some time… I registered silence… except for my breathing. Was I alone? Alone, with the vision… the fires… the screaming, dying girl…? Unbidden, the fires rose again, crackling menacingly.
Panicking, I thrashed around, trying to get out of the blanket.
"Don't—leave—me—alone!" I gasped out, trying to clear my eyes out and get out of here, break the silence….
Hands gripped my arms, and I relaxed in relief. There was someone with me!
"Shh… you're not alone. I'm here. Calm down, you mad old bat," a voice said soothingly. A hand brushed against mine, and I gripped it tightly. I didn't want to be alone…. I couldn't stand to be alone with that… with that thought… that vision… those fires. I held onto the hand tightly with both hands.
Then blackness swooped down on me and swallowed me up.
ll----ll
I jerked my eyes open. For a moment, I couldn't recognize my surroundings. Then, with a jolt, I realized that I was in the room I had shared with Black ever since we had bonded ourselves together. With another jolt, I realized I was holding another person's hand tightly. Feeling frightened, I pulled my hands away…. My eyes followed the hand up to the arm up to the shoulder up to the neck up to the face. I knew who it would be before I saw his face.
Sirius Black.
He was at the moment sleeping, his head and arms on the bed and the rest of his body on the ground. I felt a stab of guilt. How long had he been sleeping in that uncomfortable position, just because of me? How long had he let me hold his hand in my moments of panic and fear? I felt so small for the way I had been treating him… just as I had felt small back in my own bedroom when I had woken up to find my head in his lap.
I rolled over onto my stomach quietly, thanking the stars that my burns didn't scream with pain anymore. I put my chin on my folded hands, looking intently at Black's sleeping face. He looked so… innocent. So childlike and vulnerable. So different than when he was awake and his usual horny self.
Before I could stop myself, I had reached out to touch his cheek. I reached out. I didn't know what I was doing… but somehow it felt right. But as soon as my fingertips touched his cheek, his eyes flickered. I pulled my hand back quickly, disgusted at myself.
Black shook himself and yawned before finally focusing on me. I felt myself turn red.
"Feeling better, right?" he asked concernedly. "You still look a bit red…"
"No! I'm fine," I said quickly. "And… thanks. For being here…"
Black looked a bit self-conscious. "It was nothing… but…. Tell me. What did you see?"
I froze. Should I tell him?
"I mean, in that detention with Delaney, you obviously saw something, and today, you saw something again. Tell me, what did you see? What was it that made you so frightened?" Black asked urgently.
I shook my head slowly, then with more force. Tell him… tell him about how I had been burning another girl with those hungry flames… how I had felt the heat against my own skin… how it had really been happening to me. No, I knew that it wasn't right, and it would be stupid to tell him. Stupid. I had to sort this out by myself.
"Faye, come on!" Black said. "Don't you trust me?"
That was the wrong thing to ask. Trust. Trust was a strange thing. I knew that friendships only started with trust… but I knew that trust was a tricky thing. It was so easy to just betray someone's trust. So easy. I knew that to trust someone completely was an open invitation for pain and hurt, so I could never trust anybody fully; I hadn't even trusted Andrew enough to tell him when my dad started beating me. I hadn't trusted Grace enough to tell her anything about my family. I didn't think I really trusted Black. He… he was nice… sometimes… but I couldn't trust him. The only reason he had even found out about my family was because he had seen it, been there….
"I've kept all your secrets! I have," Black said earnestly. "Everything you told me not to mention again… I didn't! Isn't that enough?"
I stared at him silently, not wanting to break it to him.
"Do you trust me?" Black asked again.
I bit my lip and looked away before mustering up the strength to speak. "I-I'm sorry. I-I don't. I c-can't."
"Can't? What do you mean?" Black was sounding desperate by now.
"I j-just—can't!" I forced out helplessly. "T-this thing I'm seeing…" I raised my eyes to meet his, "I know it's not normal… I have to find my own way…"
"Oh, I see," Black said, anger building in his voice. "You just want to find your own way through everything, even if you end up going crazy. You're just too proud to accept any help! You're too stingy to even give someone a tiny bit of your faith!"
"Black…" I tried to cut in, but at that, he got even madder.
"You know what… I don't know why I even try! You're obviously too stupid!" he shouted huffily. He got up and flung himself onto his bed, and the bond between twinged. I was starting to get angry myself…. How could he presume to know the reasons behind my actions? I hated it when people did that, judging me on their own assumptions. I hated it!
"Look, we're not even that close! Besides, why would it matter if I don't tell you? I don't need to tell anyone everything about my life, least of all you!" I snarled, taking savage satisfaction in saying those cruel words. "It's my choice to give someone my trust… and you, unfortunately, don't meet all the requirements!"
"I expect nobody does," he shot back.
"So what if you're right?" I asked, furious at him. "Is it any of your bloody business? All you want to do is hear me say that I trust you… and then you'll probably turn right around and destroy it… watch me wallow in sadness… give you even more incentives to inflate your ego!" Black was staring at me, his face unreadable.
"Prewitt. I don't want to hear it."
That was the last sentence that was spoken between us for quite a long time.
ll----ll
I unenthusiastically flipped the page of the book I was currently looking at. I felt as if Black and I had combed the whole library, front to back, four hundred times… and we still hadn't found a countercurse to that blasted bond. I snapped the book shut and pulled another one out of the huge pile of books on the table. I glanced at Black. He was studiously ignoring me, his face buried in a book. It was so odd a sight that I almost laughed. But I sobered immediately.
Black and I hadn't been getting along very well ever since that disastrous episode when he had asked for my trust. I couldn't give it to him. I just—couldn't. I didn't really trust him, so how could I lie to him and say I did? But… the hurt expression on his face when I had refused to trust him made my insides squirm with guilt every time I thought about it. And… and… was I completely sure that I didn't trust him? He had kept my secrets… he had helped me at those times when I was down… he might have shot horny comments my way, but he had never taken advantage of me….
Sighing, I let my eyes drift back to my book. Taking out my wand, I tried a spell in there.
"Finite Releasin!" Nothing happened. Groaning, I slammed the book shut and threw it into the pile.
I got up and stretched for a second. We had been sitting in here for close to five bloody hours! Almost five hours every day, and even longer on weekends… I felt like I was slowly rotting from inside out. Suddenly, an idea struck me.
"Black, what was the jinx that you used when we got ourselves stuck together?" I asked suddenly.
"The Furnunculus Curse," he said hesitantly. I had probably surprised the answer out of him, for he had been ignoring me for the past few days.
"Finite Incantatem!" I said, swishing my wand around in a complicated movement. Why hadn't I thought of lifting two spells instead of one? We stared at each other for a moment. It was the first time in those few days that Black had even looked at me in the eye, and I felt ridiculously happy.
I took a tentative step away. And another. And another. We were now five feet apart, and I didn't feel any pain, tug, or pull. I could scarcely dare to believe it. I looked at him wonderingly. I walked several more steps away. Nothing.
Our faces broke into maniacal smiles at the same instant.
"It's over!" I yelled.
"We're not stuck!" Black shouted gleefully.
"Freaking shit, I thought we'd never be free!"
"Yeah! BLOODY HELL! I'm so bloody happy that I can't bloody stop saying bloody 'bloody'!" Black hollered, actually leaping onto the table and doing a sort of dance that involved flailing arms and chanting the words, "Bloody, bloody, bloody!"
"DANCING ON THE TABLE?! CUSSING?! How DARE you!!!" Madame Pince screeched in fury, swooping down on us. "OUT! OUT! OUT!!!"
The bloody mad, over-stuffed vulture of a librarian chased us all the way down to the end of the fourth floor before she abandoned the chase and left us panting with relief.
"Pince has got one hell of a pair of legs for an old bloke with a shriveled up face," Black gasped, leaning against the wall.
"Tell me about it," I wheezed. "She's a barmy one, for sure." We glanced at one another, and suddenly we were screaming with happiness again. Yes, Black was screaming. Just like a girl, in fact.
"WE'RE FREE!" I shouted. I grabbed his hand and started doing a victory dance. All thoughts of our problems fell away. I was just happy that I could sleep in my dorm, take showers alone, and actually be alone sometimes! I felt so light… so happy for once. I felt like a giant burden had been lifted off my shoulders, leaving me light and carefree.
"I'm so happy I could hurt you! Badly!" I screamed into Black's face, still unable to get the maniacal grin off my face.
"Please abstain from doing so," Black said dryly. "You hurt me bad enough as it is."
I laughed—everything seemed so funny right now—and whirled around in a circle, watching the ceiling above me spin around and around and around…. I stopped, shaking my head dizzyingly, and I grinned at Black, who was dancing and still chanting, "Hoot, hoot, hoot!" over and over again. I felt drunk with happiness, if that was possible. Passing students shot us worried and wary glances, and those looks of wariness made me even happier. People cleared out of the hall fast, and soon it was only Black and I doing our victory dances.
Without thinking about what I was doing, I had run up to Black and engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug. I could do anything I wanted right now… the joy gushing inside me demanded that I do something to show how I was feeling. Ecstasy bubbled in my veins, and bliss pushed my head up to the clouds. It was almost creepy how I lost my head in this bubbling, foaming happiness.
"I am so happy!" I gasped, raising my face to look at him. "Aren't you?!" I closed my eyes and smiled blissfully.
It was then that it happened. While my eyes were closed and my guard completely let down.
I suddenly felt something soft pressing against my own lips, and it felt… tingly. And good. It took me a second—it was too long of a second—to realize that Black's arms were around my waist—how the hell had they gotten there!!??— and he was bloody kissing me!
As in… mouth-to-mouth GROSSNESS!!
I shoved him away, breathing heavily, staring at Black with disbelief… and anger. Oh, yes. A lot of anger.
CRACK!! The whole empty hallway echoed with the sound of that resounding slap, for I had just slapped Sirius Black right across his stupidly handsome face with all the strength—and more—of my right arm, the arm that I considered to pack a harder punch.
"YOU!" I shouted, trembling with rage. How dare he? "HOW D-DARE YOU, YOU SNEAKING LITTLE TOAD??!!"
Black was looking at the ground, his hand pressed against the cheek I had hit.
"YOU KNEW!" I hollered. "YOU KNOW ABOUT MY FAMILY, WHAT MY D-DAD D-DID, AND YOU CAN STILL… STILL D-DO THIS SORT OF THING TO ME!"
"I—!" Black opened his mouth, but I didn't want to hear any of it. This was the lowest, foulest, most dreadful thing he had ever done to me—could ever do to me!
"I swear, every time I think you're decent, you keep on proving me wrong!" I yelled, my voice shaking. "How could you take advantage of me like that? Hell, you are just what I thought of you in the beginning of the year: a foul playboy, kissing girls for the heck of it!" God, he was no different than before, no different from the boy that I had overheard talking in the safety of his dorm about Fiona and me as if we were items on sale.
Black made no response; he just stared at the ground, looking ashamed of himself. And if he wasn't ashamed of himself, then I would wring his neck, skin him alive, and leave his body out in the sun to cook!
"But… you know what?!" I yelled.
"Chicken butt?" Black guessed, managing a weak smile.
"NO, YOU TWITTERING IDIOT!!! I never thought you'd go and pull a stunt like this! You've always at least snogged someone who agreed to it!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You—you—!" I was at a loss for words, which rarely happened to me. But I guess there was always room for an exception for cases concerning Black.
"I HATE YOU!!" I shouted, finally having found something to say.
I turned on my heel and stormed away, going to the one place where I knew no one could bother me. I hadn't been there in a long time, ever since I had been latched onto Black. I desperately needed to be a lone right now… the joy that had suffused me a moment ago had completely evaporated, leaving behind roiling anger and confusion and embarrassment and shame and even more anger. How could he do this do me? I had never kissed anyone before… and he had just—just stolen it!! I wiped my mouth angrily. I was sullied… dirtied… violated!
I was infinitely glad that I could, at least, stride away from Black without him being forced to come with me.
---Sirius's POV---
I stared after Prewitt's retreating back, wondering what on earth had just happened. Then the reality of what I did clicked into place—or rather, crashed into place. I had just kissed Faye Prewitt.
Kissed her.
I can't believe I just did that. Shit, she's going to hate me forever…and ever...and ever...and then some more. No!! And just when I thought we were getting better after that disastrous episode when I had asked her if she trusted me….
Well, it's actually her fault! It was all her fault! She was just standing there, looking so cute and innocent and not angry with me! She had even hugged me, for heaven's sake! And hugged me hard! What was I supposed to think? She made me do it! She just lifted up her damn lovely face and smiled with her eyes closed. It was practically an open invitation, and what with my… er… sort of… natural instinct…. I didn't mean to kiss her, but I just sort of… slipped!
Letting out a loud groan, I pressed my hand to my stinging cheek. Blimey, Prewitt packed one hell of a punch.
Massaging my cheek, I dragged myself back to the Gryffindor common room and up to my dorm. It was almost ten. She probably hadn't gone there, so that made it safe. I vaguely wondered how I was going to apologize. I mentally slapped myself. Me, Sirius Black, apologize? For one lousy snog? All girls in the school practically begged for one, but she had to go and hit me because I gave her one! God, girls were so… frustrating! Besides, she should be apologizing to me for not giving me her trust… wait. That was wrong. She didn't have to trust me… I just wanted her to.
"Oy, Padfoot!" James cried as soon as he saw me. He was sitting with Remus and Peter on the ground, playing Exploding Snap and downing candy with every breath. I walked towards him listlessly, and I saw his mouth drop almost to the ground.
"Where's Prewitt?" James choked on an Every Flavor Bean. I sighed sharply and thumped him on the back.
"Prongsie old pal, sometimes you are too much of an idiot, even more so than me," I said, collapsing on the bed I hadn't slept on for almost two and a half months.
"Ohh!!" James said knowingly. "Another row?"
"Why would you think that?" I snapped.
"Well," Remus said, bending over me, "You look very put out, and you have a huge red handprint on your left cheek."
"So what if I do?" I asked sulkily.
James groaned. "I know what this is about!" Surprised, I looked at him. How would he know? Maybe we were more in tune that I had previously thought.
"You're miffed because you can't watch Prewitt take her showers anymore, and you mentioned it to her once you guys lifted the curse, and she slapped you!" Prongs cried, looking too pleased with himself.
"No, you sodding halfwit!" I yelled, jumping at him and tackling him. Remus pushed us apart, looking exasperated.
"Stop being such a prat. Now, Padfoot, what did you do to her?" Remus said patiently. Why did he always know?
"Nothing," I mumbled, looking at the ground and rubbing my cheek.
"That's the worst lie you've ever told," James snapped, then added an afterthought, "Well, actually, not really…"
"Anyway," Remus said, shooting James a look, "just tell us what you did. Come on. It can't be that bad, or you wouldn't be standing here right now!"
"Yeah," Peter sniggered, "she would have killed you and buried your body in the Forbidden Forest by now." I shot a murderous glare at him before sighing and deciding to let up.
"I kissed her," I mumbled, my eyes on the ground. To my embarrassment, a flush of heat creep up my cheeks while James hooted gleefully.
"Woo-hoo! Go, Paddy! You work fast!" James crowed while I glared at him. The pea-brain ran up to me and plopped down on my lap. "So tell me… was she good??"
I glared at him and shoved him off. "I don't know! She didn't give me enough time to find out!" James laughed even harder at this, to my embarrassment.
"You've fallen, Padfoot," Remus said quietly, shaking his head in laughter. "You've fallen hard."
"What?!" I yelped indignantly. "I have not!" I certainly had not fallen for that rude, snide, violent, stupid, ugly—well, actually she was very pretty, more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen— I cut that thought off.
"You have," Remus said again while James snickered annoyingly. I glared daggers at the both of them. Some friends I have.
"Well, at least I'm not like you and Evans," I snapped cruelly. Prongs drooped immediately.
"Oh, Lily. My dearest Lily flower!" James launched into a ranting speech about Lily Evans. I hoped that I wouldn't become like him. It was pathetic. Hopeless. Degrading. A lost case.
"What are you going to do, Sirius?" Peter asked over James's ongoing words.
"Go snog her again, Peter!" I shouted with irritation. "Of course I'm going to go apologize!"
All three of my friends stopped dead and looked at me as if I had gone mad.
"You, apologize for kissing someone?" James choked out, sounding as if someone had a tight grip around his neck. "Since when did my best friend leave and get replaced by this twittering gentleman?" he demanded.
"Yep, she's got you hook, line, and sinker," Remus laughed, ignoring James's comment.
"She has not!" I denied hotly. "How could I like her? I mean, she's rude, she hits me all the time, she insults me at least twenty times a day, she doesn't appreciate me to my full value, she hates spending time with me, she forces me to spend hours and hours in that freaking library, and she's too damn pretty for her own good…!"
"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius," James laughed. "Now you're just like me and Lily! Lily hates me, and Faye hates you! It's great! We can get snubbed together!"
"I'd much rather be dating instead of being snubbed," I snapped.
"Ohoho!" Peter cried. "You've admitted it! You do want to date her!"
To my shame, I went scarlet. "No! I didn't say that! What kind of idiot would rather be snubbed?"
"You want to date Faye Prewitt!" James crowed. I felt like bashing his head in.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
"Oh, shut up, you two," Remus interrupted. He turned to me, a maddeningly superior look on his face. "If you ever want to date"—here James and Peter sniggered— "Faye, then you should apologize to her first. Who knows, it might have been her first kiss! And to have that stolen away by you, no less…" Remus let the sentence trail off delicately while James and Peter burst into raucous laughter.
"First kiss?" I repeated incredulously. "How could that be her first kiss? Come on, she's sixteen and beautiful enough to knock a blind man dead! She's probably been snogged loads of times already!"
"You never know, Padfoot, you never know," Prongs said sagely. I snorted.
"That doesn't sound quite as wise coming from your mouth," I sniggered.
"Quit playing around and start thinking of smooth apologies!" Remus said commandingly.
"How about, 'I'm sorry'?" I suggested sardonically.
Peter rolled his eyes. I seemed to be getting a lot of those lately. "Come on. You've got to be more suave than that!"
"I know!" James butted in. "Say, 'Oh, Faye, love, your eyes are as yellow as old, tarnished, moldy Knut, and your skin as pale as the sickliest slug. Your hair is as frizzy as a frazzled bird's nest, and…'" he said in what was supposed to be a charming voice. Hey, Faye's hair wasn't frizzy. Where in the world did James get that? In my opinion, it was Evans's hair that was frizzier. Faye's hair was wavy, all loose, graceful curls and ringlets…. I jerked myself out of that train of thought and focused on the conversation.
"Yeah, that'll surely win her over," Remus was saying.
"What about, 'I'm really sorry about that last snog, but can I do it again?'" I suggested hopefully.
"No!" Remus yelped, scandalized. James, on the other hand, loved it.
"Perfect," James said, winking at me coyly. "Just the perfect blend of apology and horniness and Marauder cunning! You're too good at this, Padfoot!"
"That's why we're best mates," I declared, slinging an arm around his shoulder gratefully. "We think alike!"
"But I do suggest a few changes in the line," James said thoughtfully. "You could say, 'I'm really sorry 'bout that snog earlier, but I really enjoyed it and all, so can I have another go?' And throw in a cheeky wink!"
"Yeah, like your cheeky winks will cool her down, 'cause those words won't be doing anything but make her even madder," Remus scowled. "Honestly, you guys are hopeless! And you, James! After your all failed attempts with Lily, I'd have thought you'd have learned by now!"
"What about you and Arabella Figg?" I countered. To my satisfaction, Remus colored and looked down.
"What about me and Bella?" Remus muttered.
"Well," James said slyly, "you just can't seem to take your eyes off her these days!"
"She doesn't like me," Remus sighed.
"Hey, don't put yourself down like that!" I said. "We'll find a way to throw you two together!"
"I'd rather you not," Remus said tartly. "Most of your 'throw-together' plans usually wind up as disasters. Remember that time back in second year with Peter and Cindy Williams?"
I grinned in memory. "Peter cried for twelve days!"
"No! I didn't!" Peter cried indignantly.
"Yes, you did!" I contradicted him. "Prongs and I tallied it up!"
"Uh… anyway, Grace Thompson seems to like you, Remus!" Peter changed the subject hastily, his cheeks glowing. Remus choked. "You went with her to the Winter Ball, remember? But I think that was because Arabella got asked before you could ask her, and then Grace asked you… Grace is totally hung up on you, you know."
"What?" he asked in a strangled voice. "Oh, no!"
Grace Thompson… Grace Thompson…. I racked my brains for a face to connect to the name. Oh. How stupid of me. She was Prewitt's best friend! And not that bad-looking either. So why was Remus groaning?
"Er… Moony. Having a pretty girl like you isn't the end of the world," I said, poking his shoulder.
"No, it's just that she's good friends with Bella!" Remus said. "If I turn her down, then Bella might dislike me!"
"You are too sentimental to be a guy," James said in disbelief.
"Now I see why you two are such masters at relationships," Remus retorted sarcastically. "I'm going to sleep. I'm wasting my time talking to blockheads like you."
We all followed his example, and as I lay on my bed, gazing at the window, I couldn't help but think back to Prewitt. Damn. Why did she always have to look so beautiful? I mean, what guy could resist those large, thickly-lashed gold eyes—you don't see that much, if at all—those long, swinging curls, that pale, perfect complexion, those high cheekbones, that round chin, those soft lips…. I shook myself. I was really going down the danger lane. I didn't want a deep relationship with anyone yet. I was only sixteen, for heaven's sake! I wanted to play around and have fun and be young while I was young! I hadn't thought that I'd have a problem doing just that until a feisty girl by the name of Faye Prewitt came crashing into my existence.
But… a part of me was glad that she had come crashing into my life. The mere memory of her grabbing my hand tightly while she fell asleep was enough to make my insides feel warm and happy. Well, she had been half-crazed and delirious with fear and fever at that time, so that might not have counted…. The memory of how she had fallen asleep with her head on my shoulder while we were at her house made me feel slightly better. But then again, she had been very upset with her father and her past and telling me everything…. I contented how she had smiled at me right before I wiped that smile off by kissing her; but she had been happy that she wouldn't be stuck with me anymore. Damn.
Oh, hell. I wasn't falling for her. I wasn't. But I should apologize. Growling with frustration, I turned over and pushed my head roughly under my pillow, telling myself firmly not to think about the mystery that was Faye Prewitt.
---Faye's POV---
"Faye!" Grace cried in relief as I stepped into the Gryffindor common room much, much later. In fact, it was close to midnight, and the common room was nearly empty.
"I saw Sirius without you, and I realized that you must have found out how to lift the charm, and—!" she cut off as she got near enough to peer into my face. "Galloping gargoyles!" Grace leapt away.
I knew I must have looked like a nightmare. After reaching the East Tower, I had paced around, flung things, hit things, kicked things, tugged at my own hair….
"Faye, what's wrong?" Grace asked more gently, touching my shoulder. I sucked in a shuddering breath and sank into a chair, covering my face with my hands.
"Grace… I don't want to talk about it right now," I mumbled from behind my hands, feeling my face burn again. My sink twinged sensitively. Damn those stupid sunburns! Damn them all to hell! I started cursing everything that was going wrong in my life: burns, Black, family, Fiona, burns, classes, Astronomy, that stupid, stupid damn kiss…. I shied away from the thought of that. And it wasn't really a kiss. It was more of a… peck. A really long peck….
Dammit, what was I thinking now?
"All I can say is… Black is a total, complete GIT!" I shouted the last word. Grace looked alarmed and was obviously trying to find something to say to relieve my anger.
"Are you sad because you guys don't get to spend every moment with each other anymore?" Grace joked. It wasn't funny. I glared at her menacingly until Grace cringed and said, "Okay… okay… just joking."
I got up and stretched. "Well, at least I'll be able to go and sleep up in the dorms again, right?" I tried to arrange my face into what I hoped was a bright smile. Grace winced and averted her eyes from my face.
"Hey, I am glad about breaking the bond," I said irritably. "I just can't seem to find my smile. Black wiped it straight off the face of the planet."
"You don't know how weird that sounded," Grace commented as we made our way up the girls' staircase. I hadn't gone up these steps in a long time; I felt almost out of place. As soon as we were in the dorm, I pounced on my own bed and hugged a pillow to my chest.
As I lay there, waiting for sleep to come to me, another onslaught of anger and embarrassment attacked me, and I pummeled my pillow angrily.
Damn!! How much did Black have to torture me before he was satisfied?
The next morning, I woke up at an ungodly hour before the sun had even risen. Kicking my covers away violently, I strode out of the dorm and down the stairs, proceeding to trash the common room. After all, I couldn't very well trash my own dorm, as it'd wake the other girls. But the common room was okay.
I flung a chair against the wall with a flick of my wand. That was the good thing about magic. You could vent all your anger without a lot of physical activity. After a particularly loud slam, I heard footsteps on the boys' staircase. I looked up warily, and I saw Remus Lupin standing there, looking harassed.
"What is going on in here?" he asked. I shrugged, trying not to let my anger blow at him. I wasn't angry at him, anyway.
"I'm venting some steam," I said simply. I jabbed my wand at another chair, and it went flying backwards to slam into another.
"Um… you want to talk about it instead of…er… express it?" Remus asked, eyeing my wand nervously.
"No!" I spat. "I prefer to express it!"
"Is this about Sir-?" Remus asked, but I cut him off. Anger boiled anew at the sound of Black's name.
"NO! Why does everyone assume everything is about that dolt?" I yelled.
"Because in your case, that's usually correct," he told me. I seethed with rage.
"Well, so what if you're right!?" I shouted.
"Um… well, Sirius had a hell of a handprint on his face yesterday night…" Remus said delicately. I felt a savage pleasure.
"It serves him right… that foul—stinking—rat!" I hissed.
"He's…er… really sorry, you know," he said.
I laughed sourly. "He should be. I suppose he already told you all about it, did he?"
Remus nodded, looking away uneasily.
"I hate him! I bloody hate his stupid guts! And you shouldn't be apologizing for him!" I shouted, stowing my wand in my pockets. "I'm off to take a morning stroll. See you around. And once you see Black… tell him that I'm after his blood!"
I took one last glance around the devastated common room before striding towards the exit. Never mind that it was too early in the morning to be out of the common room. I just needed some air, some space….
"Wait!" Remus called just as I was about to exit the portrait hole. I stopped, though I didn't turn around.
"He is sorry, whatever you may think."
I rolled my eyes and stepped into the cold, drafty hallway. I didn't want to think about Sirius Black right now.
I didn't know what prompted me to go take a 'stroll.' Suddenly, a strong, inexplicable urge to go play the violin rose up in me. I loved playing the violin. I had learned by myself when Fiona had started to take lessons, and I had excelled, even without a teacher. I had to steal the violin to practice, but it was worth it. And then, when Fiona quit, she didn't care about the violin anymore, so it went to me. I'd put a Shrinking Charm on it, so I could carry it around. Playing music just made me forget about my life, my troubles… everything. I used to be almost addicted to it back in California.
I had to smile a sad smile. I remembered when Andrew had started playing piano and begged me to learn with him, since I usually caught on with instruments fairly quickly. I had loved it as well. He also played guitar, which I learned as well. We had spent hours in Andrew's room, playing any of the three instruments and even writing some simple songs sometime.
I felt trapped here. Trapped in my own anger, fury, rage, and embarrassment. I had to relieve my feelings in any way possible….
I snuck around the school, heading back to the East Tower. Just as I reached the staircase leading up to it, I heard a soft meow at my feet, and I looked down into Mrs. Norris's lamp-like eyes. (A/N: Let's just say that Mrs. Norris has a really, really long lifespan.) I was too angry to be afraid. Before she could whisk off to get Filch, I whipped out my want and hissed, "Petrificus Totalus!"
Mrs. Norris froze, and I smiled in satisfaction. Deciding that I would do something even worse, since I was in such a foul mood, I stuffed the cat into a nearby suit of armor before heading up the stairs to the tower. God, I had been waiting for so long to do that stupid cat in.
Chuckling madly to myself, I strode onto the wide balcony of the East Tower. There, I stopped for a moment to just listen to the wind and enjoy the peace of the early morning. I took out my wand a small box which contained my various instruments, all shrunken. I tapped my miniature violin, and suddenly I held the life-size instrument in my hands. I tentatively drew the bow across the first string; I hadn't played it in so long. Soon, I had begun playing a song, an angry, fast song that perfectly expressed my feelings. I lost myself in the rhythm and feel of the music.
I felt alive, transported… just… free. As my fingers moved along the violin and my hand drew the bow across the strings, I felt all my problems practically melt away. I almost felt that Andrew was here with me. This song was one that he had helped me master. I lost myself in this music, in the feel, in the rightness of this all.
Just when I was starting to forget my troubles and worries, a voice spoke, nearly startling me out of my wits.
"You're really good, you know."
I whirled around in panic and embarrassment; my good mood lost in a flash, I stared right into a pair of dark eyes.
--
What'd you think of that?? Good? Oh, if any of you are worried, I'm not going to make Severus like Faye or Faye like Severus or anything. ::shudders:: I don't like Snape that much to pair him up with Faye!
Hehe, notice that Sirius is getting a little jealous!! And over who?? Hehehehe....
Note: the tabs didn't turn out quite right, so reading Faye's diary might be a little hard to read.