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Arianna: I'm currently feeling lovesick….so when better to work on my romance story?
Erk: Who's the poor, unfortunate guy?
Arianna: WAAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE SO MEAN!
Erk: …….I was just kidding…..
Eliwood: I like artichokes and kitties. :)
All: …………huh?
Arianna: Er….let's just start the chapter!
DISCLAIMER: When Hawkeye gets a shirt and Louise hates Pent I'll own 'Fire Emblem'.
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So you're with her, not with me. I hope she's sweet, and so pretty.
'Don't Think Of Me' by Dido
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-: ERK'S POV :-
We had taken refuge for the night in the now abandoned castle of Laus. While Erick was interrogated by the nobles I was checking in with my client. "Lady Priscilla, are you all right?" I inquired as I entered her room (after knocking, of course!) and spotted the lady troubadour sitting on her bed. She had a distant, thoughtful look in her eyes, but she came to attention at my question.
"Ah, Erk!" she said kindly in greeting. "I am fine." she answered. "Thank you for checking on me." That last part momentarily threw me off. I wasn't used to being thanked for as simple a thing as doing my job.
"Not at all! That is my duty!" I replied. I sensed a strange weariness in her that had not been there when I had talked to her on the battlefield. "You….are not tired?" I asked. She shook her head.
"No…..no, I'm quite fine, really." she said. I wasn't convinced, though. I hear many women say nothing is wrong when truly something is bothering them.
"You're feet are not weary?" She was a pampered noble, after all. She couldn't be used to walking much. But then I realized she rode a horse. 'Stupid question. Hmmm….to ride a horse you have to hold reins which may strain the arms and-' "Your shoulders, are they not tense?" I tried. She looked at me with amusement, but not even a hint of aggravation at my many questions.
"They're fine, really." she replied with a slight smile. I continued thinking of other ailments.
"And your belly? Is it full? Your throat…dry? Are you sleepy? or bored?"
"Erk?" she said so it sounded like a question, and finally I heard a bit of impatience. I decided that maybe nothing was wrong and she was just a deep thinker. It was an easier conclusion than to keep on guessing.
"Ah….yes, sorry." I apologized with a slight bow. "Hard to break old habits." The smile she had had earlier dropped off her face with my last comment. She made a soft noise of question. I thought she deserved an answer to a question since I had bombarded her with so many. "My last lord was a very willful….child, you see." Childish was the only way I could think to describe Serra's behavior at times. "She would call me over the slightest things…." I remembered the spider incident. Now, it seemed a bit humorous and I must have smileda twingeat the memory for Priscilla's expression became one of puzzlement. "That is the past now, of course." I finished, mentally shaking myself to keep my face serious. If I began laughing for a reason no one else could see I risked being locked up in an asylum and I certainly did not want to be stuck with those kinds of people. I was sure I was about to see enough of them as it was traveling with this 'army'.
"I see….." Priscilla said thoughtfully. "Should….I be asking you to do more, then?" Alarmed at the thought of another experience like what I endured escorting Serra, I hurriedly replied while stumbling backwards for the door to make a run for it.
"Oh no! No! This is just fine!" I said. "Goodnight, Lady Priscilla!" I turned and practically ran out of the room.
"Goodnight, Erk!" Priscilla called after me and for some reason the tone of her voice seemed…..sad. I paused in the hallway.
"Hey, you! Little girly-haired man! Are you Erk?" a voice grunted at me. I looked up to see the ax wielder from earlier making his way down the hall with a piece of paper clutched in one hand. A couple years ago I had made up five levels into which I categorized all people by intelligence. The top level was made up of those who I considered to be genius or somewhere close, like my Lord Pent. At the very bottom level there was those who usually communicated by grunting and pointing and could actually use 'ugga' in a sentence. This man was definitely one of those bottom dwellers. I know what you're thinking; don't judge someone by looks. But if you could just see and hear this man!
"Yes, I am. Why do you ask?" I replied as the brute came to a stop in front of me. He had brown hair and a rather large nose. His clothes were simple and clearly showed he had the rank of a commoner. I suppose to him I was little since he towered over me, but I value brains far over brawn, so this didn't bother me…..much.
"The pretty pink-haired girl told me to give this to you." he explained and held the paper out.
'Pink hair?' I thought and took the paper quickly. "Thank you…er….?"
"Bartre. You're welcome Erk of the girly hair. Bye." he said and left fast which was lucky for him because I was about to fry his head with a Fire tome. My hair's not girly! It's just….pretty. I sighed, something I had not done for quite some time now, and opened the paper.
Meet me in the east gardens. There's something I wish to discuss with you.
-Serra
-: SERRA'S POV:-
I stood among the beautiful flora and breathed deeply as the night breeze blew the scent of flowers by my face. I tried to calm my head. I didn't want to confront Erk and end up going hysterical. I wanted to have a calm conversation with him. I sang a silly song I had learned as a young child in the convent to calm my nerves. "I stroll through the forest and what do I see? A little happy bunny staring back at me. He twitches his nose and makes me happy too. And now I want to share my happiness with you."
"Little happy bunny?" said a rich voice incredulously and I turned around to see Erk had arrived. My singing didn't help a bit for as soon as I saw him my nerves got shaken like soil in an earthquake. My brain got scrambled and I couldn't for the life of me think of a thing to say. So, I just stared at him. And stared. And as the wind blew again I……..stared. "Er….Serra?" he finally said, breaking the extremely awkward silence. I turned away from him. It was much easier to speak when I wasn't looking at his face.
"Oh, hi there, Erk!" I said in a voice that sounded strange. Well, even stranger than mine usually is, anyway. It was higher pitched and didn't have my usual confident tone to it. I cleared my throat and tried again, bravely turning to face him again. "You should be thanking me. I'm the one who got you into this outfit. In fact, you should be terribly grateful to me!"
Erk raised an eyebrow at me as if to say 'That's what you called me all the way out here for?' "Well, you did introduce me to Lord Eliwood." he admitted, "But that's about it, really. I owe you no special obligation." he said with finality and turned as if to leave. I panicked and blurted the next thing that came to mind.
"That's the most ungrateful thing I've ever heard!" I almost screamed at him. He didn't begin walking away, so I continued more calmly. "You know, Erk, I've been with them longer than you have….so you really should treat me like your superior!" He turned back towards me and my heart sped up as I looked him straight in the face, but I stubbornly refused to lower my eyes.
"As usual, you use entirely confounding logic." Erk drawled, not sounding confounded at all. "Doesn't Lord Eliwood decide such matters?" he asked. I struggled for a good answer.
"Well, he hasn't mentioned it yet, but I'm sure he would agree." I responded and suddenly thought of something that was sure to spark some kind of reaction in Erk besides sarcasm and indifference. "After all, I am his close friend and Hector's fiancée!" I smiled convincingly and watched the young mage's face for immediate shock and jealousy. I was sorely disappointed. He just turned around again and this time actually began walking slowly away.
"Well, I've heard enough. Talking to you is just a never-ending headache." he called behind him in a very rude tone. He sounded quite irritated.
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE, SERVANT! You would speak thus to your lady and liege?" I screeched after him as he moved farther and farther away. I began running to catch up. "Hey! ERK, wait up!"
-: ERK'S POV :-
Fiancee? Fiancee? It was just like I had feared when I heard she was traveling with men! She was marrying this 'Hector'! How could I hope to compete with a-
"I said WAIT!" Serra screamed and I felt two arms wrap tightly around my waist as Serra's head collided with my back. She had tripped and had grabbed onto the closest thing available—me. I disengaged her arms from my mid-section and turned around as she pulled herself back to her feet.
"What is it? If you want to gloat about your engagement I'm not one-"
"I wanted to ask you about your relationship with Priscilla!" Serra exclaimed. "That's the reason I asked you to come out here in the first place!" I crossed my arms.
"What about my relationship Lady Priscilla?" I asked, genuinely confused. Did Serra not understand there were such things as an employer and worker relationship? Did she think there were only nobility and servant ones?
"Umm….well…." Serra stammered, blushing for some reason I couldn't comprehend. I tilted my head slightly and motioned with my hand for her to get on with it. "Priscilla said….you two….are…lovers…"
"WHAT?"
My jaw must have been somewhere close to touching the ground. Lovers? When could we have…..oh no, was it that night I got drunk at the inn in Hagan? "Well…she didn't exactly say lovers, but she said you were in love." Serra clarified. I breathed a sigh that for once was not from irritation. It was from a very great amount of relief.
"In love?" I repeated. Didn't those kind of decisions usually take some consent from both sides? "No, as far as I know Priscilla and I are not in love." I said, but then I froze remembering the troubadour's strange reaction to some of my earlier words with her. Was it possible that she was in love with me?
"You mean….Priscilla isn't your lover?" Serra asked and I shook my head vehemently.
"No. That's absurd to think a lady would want to consort with a lowly mage like me." I stated somberly and for some reason Serra grew more upset.
"So….do you like her?"
"Yes, she's a very nice person."
"I mean like her, like her."
"What's the difference?" I asked, confused. How could using the same words twice make it mean something different? Serra made a sound of frustration.
"The difference is whether you think of her romantically or as a friend!" Serra declared. I chewed my lip in thought.
"……..can I use a lifeline?"
Serra hit me with a heal staff I hadn't even noticed until that moment, then she stormed off grumbling about 'difficult men' and 'stupid purple-haired people'. I thought about what she had said about Lord Hector and Lady Priscilla. Then I thought of my attraction to Serra. This was becoming quite the complicated love triangle….square…shape-thingy. Little did I know it was about to get worse….
-: OUTER POV :-
Early the next morning, Eliwood's posse—um, ARMY headed for Caelin. They were supposed to be hurrying to save Caelin Castle, but problems arose when along the way the group spotted a newly opened restaurant called 'PLACE OF NERGAL'S EVIL PIZZA AND PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD Pizzeria' and they just had to stop.
"DRAT! I wish we could catch that rat Darin and discover his evil plans!" Eliwood said. He was sitting at a table with Hector. A waiter with gold eyes wearing a shirt that said 'I Heart Evil Druids' and a button that said 'Ask Me About Our Daily Evil Hostile Takeovers' delivered their pizza.
"Here you go. One sausage, pineapple, poisonous tomato sauce pizza." the morph—ah, waiter said in a monotone voice and dropped it roughly so that it slopped some sauce on Hector.
"Why I oughtta…" Hector growled and stood up with Wolf Beil in hand. As all this was going on, Erk was sitting at a nearby table. Alone.
"Stupid fluxin' Lady Lyn and her stupid problems and her stupid legions!" Erk grumbled viciously to himself. He stabbed angrily at his pizza with a fork, then he put it angrily in his mouth, then he chewed it angrily. Obviously Erk was not thrilled that he was once again going to be traveling with his old friends very soon.
"Hey, Erk! I didn't know you were with us!" said Matthew and Erk looked up to see the thief sitting down at his table without asking for permission. Erk swallowed and glared at him.
"Don't you have someone else to eat with?" Erk asked bluntly. Matthew shook his head.
"Nope. Lord Hector is busy," Matthew explained and pointed to Hector, who was currently bashing the waiter's head repeatedly into a wall while Eliwood tried hopelessly to calm him down. "So you're my new lunch buddy." Matthew concluded with a grin. Erk glared again and went back to his pizza, determined to ignore the uninvited spy. "So, what's this about you and Lady Priscilla being lovers?" Matthew abruptly said and Erk began choking on a piece of cheese.
"What?" Erk finally choked out when he had stopped coughing.
"I was taking a stroll through the gardens of Laus Castle when I happened to overhear Serra asking about you and your lady friend." Matthew said, which translated meant 'I eavesdropped on you, HAHA! FEAR MY SNEAKY POWER!'
"As I told Serra, and am now telling you, and will eventually get around to telling Lady Priscilla, Priscilla and I are not lovers!" Erk declared loudly. The whole pizzeria suddenly went silent. Hector held the poor waiter in mid-bash. Dorcas dropped his pizza slice on the floor and it splattered all over Arianna's shoes. Lowen quit trying to bribe the cooks into giving him the recipe. Everyone just stared at Erk. Then everyone looked at Priscilla, who was sobbing silently.
"Um….time to go, everyone!" Eliwood yelled and the group rushed quickly outside leaving the frustrated mage alone with his crying client. Erk walked over to her.
"Erm….well, mi'lady, we're not…" he said. Priscilla wiped at her eyes and looked at him tearfully.
"Hmm? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, Erk. I think I'm allergic to tomatoes. As soon as I took a bite of the pizza my eyes started watering horribly and my sinuses got plugged up and-hey, where did everyone go?" the allergy afflicted girl asked when she looked around the now empty restaurant. Erk almost collapsed with relief when he realized she had not heard his loud declaration of no love.
"I said it's time to go, Lady Priscilla." he lied and Priscilla thanked him for notifying her. The two walked out to join the group.
-: SERRA'S POV :-
I was wheezing and using my staff as a walking stick. Apparently that year off had made me a tad out of shape, and this hike uphill was almost killing me. The only thing worthwhile about this trip so far had been watching Lord Hector get flattened by a flying horse. The rider of the pegasus happened to be Florina! She had brought a message from Lyn that the castle had been taken and we immediately began battle. Arianna split us so we went two paths, and I just hadto be one of the unlucky ones who had to go up ALL the hills.
"Ahh…sweetest Serra!" a familiar voice suddenly called from behind me. I turned to see it was Sain the knight riding up. "No matter how often I see you, you always present the freshest and most lovely appearance!" he said. Now, considering I was sweaty and wheezing and my hair was blown all over, I knew his words were just fake compliments. But, hey, they were compliments nonetheless! And maybe Sain could see my beauty shining under my overworked exterior.
"Well, well…Sain." I greeted him. "I've always thought you had an eye for beauty." I brushed my hair over with my hand to make sure it was lying flat and I got sweat all over it! Ewwwww! I didn't care what Rebecca called me, I was spending at least an hour in the shower that night!
"That is but one of the good traits that runs in our good house." he replied. I didn't ponder too much what he meant by 'house'. "And, surely, it is what has brought us together now! Ah, Serra, we would make such a fine pair!" he said. I thought that was going quite a bit too far, since this was the first time we'd seen each other in a year, but I had just gotten an idea that could help me out a lot.
"Well, I don't know about that quite yet, but….." I said and tilted my head downwards so I was looking up at him through my eyelashes. I fluttered them a few times and smiled slyly. The guy almost fell off his horse.
"Ahh, a bit coy, are we? Or perhaps you wish to delay the pleasure to make it sweeter?" he asked. The word 'pleasure' frightened me a little, but I continued my little charade.
"It's not that, but….wait, you're just trying to get me to say yes, right?" I asked, smiling again. He nodded his head profusely.
"For that, I would do anything, my dear!" he agreed enthusiastically.
"Mmm, well….we'll see, won't we?" I said and then moved my head back up so I was looking at him straight on. "Sir Sain, would you mind terribly giving me a ride up this hill? I fear my fragile body is not made for this kind of labor…" He immediately smiled and held out a hand.
"Of course! Take my hand and I'll pull you up!" hereplied and I took it gratefully, almost feeling bad about how easily I had manipulated him. Then in one quick moment he hoisted me up behind him. The man was stronger than I had thought! I wrapped my arms around him and held on as he nudged the horse back into motion. I smiled to myself with glee at how one of my clever plans had actually worked for once.
-: OUTER POV :-
Erk had been frying so long he felt like the BBQ master. He had been sent with the group going around the towns and then up the hill. "Stupid nobles and their stupid disputes…" he grumbled to himself as he turned yet another Laus soldier into a KFC special.
(A/N: I do not own KFC! Please don't come and deep fry me!)
He eventually worked his way to the hill and began hiking. Erk was having almost as much trouble as Serra had had, and he glared as someone on a horse passed him up. He did a double-take, looking more closely at the person riding behind the knight. 'Is that….oh Elimine, she's with SAIN!" he thought to himself and took chase. "Hey! HEY! SERRA! What are you doing with Sain when you're engaged to Lord Hector?"he yelled.Further up the hill, the horse came to a screeching stop when its owner pulled hard on the reins.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaat?"
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Ivan: HAHA! Erk ruined your plan!
Serra: …….. -SMACK SMACK SMACK-!
Ivan: Ow…..
Arianna: Canas time!
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:Inferno-Hero: Ever heard Modest Mouse's song Ocean Breathes Salty?
Canas: I haven't, but Arianna has and she said she loves it. She would also like to comment "Novocain Tester?"
:Illusi0n: What was the ASAT result!
Canas: Believe me, I'd like to know myself…
:Aeros Fujita: Hey, Canas, what are your wife and son doing during the fight against Nergal? She's probably gonna be REALLY angry when you get back!
Canas: Er…..uhhh…..NEXT QUESTION!
:Evergladelord: While the lords and their forces seem to be in character, the evil forces seem a bit... silly. Why?
Canas: Um, Arianna?
Arianna: I'm not a very serious person, and I'm rather fond of stupid humor. So while I'll try to keep the good guys in character, the bad guys are gonna seem more like idiots than villains.
BIG THANKS TO: Inferno-Hero, Illusi0n, Deathscythe Hell, Aeros Fujita, WildfireDreams, Rose-Wisteria, Ryzuki (Happy belated birthday!), Lack Thereof, goodman345, Redwyrm, Evergladelord, Seproth, and all readers!
Special Thanks To: Timmycheese for reading over the first half of this chapter for me!
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Arianna: Well, I'm gonna go mourn the fact I have to go back to school tomorrow.
Eliwood: I've got something that will ease your pain!
Arianna: I'm probably gonna regret this but……..what?
Eliwood: An artichoke!
Arianna: …….
Latisha: See ya next chapter! Hopefully…
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