ElfiqueVery well, for you I can stop the shorting of all names, but Nerdanel's. I think even there, the elves would have pet names. Thank you for your reviews because sometimes I have no idea whether I'm really getting somewhere or completely blind. Thanks!
Jedi Master Paich : I have done my greatest service if I have changed your mind about Fëanor. People always forget that he was the most loved elf in history, BEFORE the war of the Silmarils. However so little is written about that time that no one remembers it. And what Fan Fiction there is, is written in such a way that you hate him more then you ever did before! Keep reading and reviewing! And Kudos to getting an account!
Dawn FelagrundCrafty hair…sniggers into hand.) That's hilarious! Thanks for the help, I always need it. You're right of course. The names sound better in the whole form, however I think Fëanor night have had a pet name for Nerdanel. About the age thing, I think that anyone who had been what he had, (his father's remarriage) that he would be more thoughtful and careful about his own actions in that area. But, like you said, I can bend cannon a bit. Thanks again!
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Chapter Four
"What is love?
Is love a fancy or a feeling?
Oh no, for it will grow in barren regions
Where no waters flow"
I lowered the book and looked at Fëanor lying stretched out on the grass his eyes clouded in sleep. The long green grasses bowed and dipped in the wind that swept off the sea bringing a salty tang to the air. I closed the book and sat regarding Fëanor as he slept. I almost never had a chance to see him still.
If he was not forging, his head was bent over books, designing new things or drawing. Lately he was toying with the invention of a new alphabet. There really seemed nothing he could not do, unlike me.
Not that I am without talent, no one can shape and carve stone as I. And yet, beside the abilities of my dear Fëanor they seemed very childish indeed. However, these thoughts drift away as I watch my love sleeping, but I blush even to think of him that way. Nearly a year has gone by and never has he spoken any word beyond that of a friend.
He will not have me stay away from him long, yet he says nothing for the future. I cannot help but allow a sigh of escape my lips and even the small sound watches him. His dark eyes focus on me and he says, "What Nan? Are you tried of sitting here? Shall we go for a walk?"
"If you don't mind." I rejoin, he takes my hand as pulls me to my feet. I stumbled, perhaps on purpose, and he catches me close to him, perhaps on purpose. But while we share everything else Fëanor has been as respectful and careful of my honor as I could wish.
Although I must admit to the wish that he would kiss me. I know I should not hope for that since we are not even courting yet, but…
"You are lost in thought Nerdanel, what consumes your interest so to furrow your brow and make you bit your lips?" Fëanor teases. I smile up at him, his manner so familiar now, so easy.
"I was thinking of you and me." I answered truthfully.
"Oh? And what do you think of you and I?" he asked suddenly curious. I pulled my hand free from his and gather a few of the weedy flowers that grew along the shoreline. I mulled over my answer first, something that Fëanor was sweet about, he always gave me time to think.
"I am not sure what to think, you are a hard man to know Fëanor." I reply. I looked up and found his expression extremely amused.
"Do you consider yourself easily known?" he inquired. I shrugged, "I don't think so."
"Well, I will confess to you Nan, that I find you deeply…fascinating. I find that when other young women would be annoyed, you're amused. When others would lose patience, you are content. Yes, you are most different." he said slowly. The tenor of his voice almost fading as the last word left his lips.
A rare moment of awkwardness fell between us and I went on picking flowers as we walked. The mingling of the lights came as suddenly and swiftly as a breeze and for a moment we stood bathed in the silver gold light. As Laurelin faded, Telperion bloomed and grew, washing the world in crystal dew. I have always preferred the light of Telperion as it calmed and brought a quiet hush to all of the elves in Valinor.
I felt two warm hands laid carefully, almost fearfully over my own. They trembled slightly against mine and I raised my eyes to Fëanor's, questioning. "I…I have never seen.' he stopped and he touched my hair caressingly, "You are so beautiful Nerdanel."
"Fëanor" I whispered, we leaned closer and I closed my eyes hoping…
"Fëanor! Nerdanel?" The call jarred us and we pulled away Fëanor making a sound of annoyance deep in his throat, but he kept a firm hold on my hand. I turned to see Finarfin and Earwen running toward us huge smiles on their faces. For once in my life I sincerely wished them both at the bottom of the ocean.
Fëanor glanced at me as he answered his brother's call. "What is it Finarfin?"
"Brother!" Finarfin gasped, he looked at Earwen and they both laughed exchanging a quick kiss that irritated me. When you have just been deprived of that you long for, it is not an easy thing to see it done with so…careless an attitude.
'Brother, you will not guess what is to happen." Finarfin said pulling a blushing Earwen into his arms, "We are to be betrothed at the end of the week!"
"Congratulations to you both!" Fëanor smiled, he hugged his brother and kissed Earwen, welcoming her to the family. I felt strangely detached, as if I was watching others go through the motions and wishing all the time to get away. Yet I saw myself returning Earwen's happy embrace and shaking Finarfin's hand.
"Fëanor, I would be pleased if you would make the rings." Finarfin said. Fëanor's eyes lit in interest as he heard this.
"I would be honored to do so Finarfin, thank you." Fëanor returned. He immediately drove into a discussion of designs and meanings they wished to have. Once in the grip of an idea he was nearly impossible to communicate with. I took my flowers and went back to fetch my book.
To my horror I found myself crying frustrated tears. I felt like an elfling who was refused her own way. But I could not help it, I wished to have Fëanor's attention. I picked up the dainty blue volume and the page opened to the poem I had been reading.
Is love a fancy or a feeling?
As I looked back over the fields to where Fëanor was now drawing a sketch on his notebook the light of Telperion shimmering on his black hair. I felt ashamed. I loved him, even if I never knew his kiss I would love him.
I could not help myself.
I waited for him for over two hours as he and the happy couple finished the discussion of rings. I read and re-read my favorite poems and made chains out of the flowers I had gathered. By the time Fëanor came for me, I knew that I should hurry home.
"Nan, you have to see the way I am…" He trailed off as I walked by him. I picked up my pace and reached the road before he did. I was trying to be patient, trying to be all that he had praised me for being, but it wasn't working. He ran up to me and stopped me flat.
"Nan, I am so sorry. Please forgive me, I was being foolish." His voice was gentle and kind. To my horror I burst out crying more and he enveloped me in his arms. I cried out my tears on his strong shoulder as he murmured sweet things in my ear.
"I am sorry Fëanor, but I cannot help it." I finally said wiping my face on my handkerchief.
"And you shouldn't have too. Nan, I am sorry for leaving you like that, it's my worst fault." He kissed my hands and tucked one under his arm as we turned toward my home. "I had forgotten that you like to be treated kindly and nicely. You mustn't allow me to tread all over you like that."
"I hated to disturb you, you were so wrapped up in you discussion with.." He laid a finger on my lips to stay my words.
"Nothing, nothing is more important to me then your friendship Nan. Please do not hesitate to speak up, in fact I will insist that you do so."
"And how will that look? Nerdanel daughter of Mahtan reproving the Prince Fëanor?" I laughed a little. He smiled again saying, "It would not be much different then Mahtan the forger reproving his apprentice Fëanor for being too proud."
"Were you?" I asked.
"Perhaps you should say am I still? The answer would be yes. I am insatiably proud and arrogant." Fëanor said. We stood once more before my door and a few servants smiled a greeting. Flowers were being planted and a new fountain placed, Fëanor still held my hand.
"Tell me Nan, why is it that we always end our walks at your door?" He asked amiably.
"Because I know no other home." I answered carefully. He leaned close and said, "That may not always be the case Nerdanel."
He kissed my hand and began to walk away and then, as if he remembered something he turned back to me. Cupping my face he kissed me, soundly and thoroughly in front of the all the servants! I wrapped my arms around his neck and gloried in the moment.
When air became important, I whispered, "Fëanor, you kissed me."
"Aye, I did." He whispered back, he leant his forehead against mine and continued," It was dreadful wasn't it?"
"You'll have to marry me now, you know." I answered. Then I slipped out of his arms and into the house with a whole new world opening before me.