Hidden Flames

by FoREvEr ends

.Complete. So. Here I am. The new girl. I am proud to say that I've managed to make a few friends, despite my—how do I say it?—less endearing qualities. Now if only this certain Black will just leave me alone, then my life will be just dandy.

13. Chapter Twelve: Black vs Prewitt

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the setting and everything that you see in the Harry Potter books. Thanks to Rowling for a brilliant world to write of. However, I do own a few original characters and ideas. If anything in here seems related to another story/fanfic, sorry! It's really not.

HERE IT IS! ENJOY! Sorry it's a little late for Valentine's… But considering the content… I think it's just as well I didn't post it on valentine's Day.

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-Chapter Twelve: Black vs. Prewitt-

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"—And then Potter and Remus stunned Black, and I got away," I finished telling Grace about my escapade last night. The only thing I didn't tell her was that Black was an Animagus—it wasn't really wise of me to tell her that, as it was illegal and would get Black into serious trouble, which I didn't want to happen. Even though he was an arse for illegally becoming one… I was sure—for some inexplicable reason—that he had a good reason. So I would keep it to myself. For right now. Maybe if I played my cards right, he'd even teach me….

Blackmail material was always welcome as well.

We were currently eating breakfast in the Great Hall, and a lot of people had been throwing suspicious glances our way, which told me that my little "I need Lily Evans!" sentence still hadn't been forgotten. I ignored them all—those people were sickos who thought that I was really gay because of one phrase I'd said.

"So now what're you going to do?" Grace asked after she finished chortling at my expense.

I looked down and moodily speared a potato on my fork. "I'm going to… apologize."

Grace choked. Yes, I mean really choked. Not the fake kind that dramatic people often use. I sighed and thumped her on the back.

"You—apologize—to?" Grace coughed out weakly, staring at me through tearing eyes. "You—Black?"

"Yeah," I said, a bit defensively. "I guess I was wrong anyway…. Oh, stop smiling like that!" Grace was smiling insanely, with a smug smirk on her lips.

"I'm just happy that you're finally…er… getting more mature!" she smiled—more like bared her teeth at me in an effort not to burst out laughing.

"Right," I snorted. "I'm sure that you're already planning out a wedding for me right now."

"And I'll be the bridesmaid!" Grace cried. "And you'll have a pretty pink tutu for your wedding dress—!"

"Oh, brother," I said irritably as I slapped some jam onto my toast. "You think way too much."

"Well, your problem is you think too little," she retorted indignantly.

"Why, you little—!"

"Excuzie mua," an all-too-familiar voice grated out in a high, ear-tearing squeal with a fake French accent.

"What do you want, Prissy?" I just barely kept myself from groaning, my semi-good mood evaporating like a drop of water in a desert. I exchanged a glance with Grace, and she had her eyebrows raised, as if asking, 'this is the incompetent dork who tried to jump you? High heels and all?'

"May I have a word with you, Faye?" Prissy said, her tone disgustingly breathy. "Alone?" she added, fluttering her ashes. I rolled my eyes. Prissy must have really believed that I was gay. I decided to bring her off her high horse.

"Even if I were gay, Prissy, I wouldn't fall for you if you were the last girl on earth," I drawled cuttingly. "Blimey, even a slug is a better choice. Slug slime is preferred to those caked layers of make-up on your face."

"I need to talk to you," Prissy continued, ignoring my stinging comment but thankfully dropping her gross, flirty act. "Come on."

I raised my eyebrows. "'Come on?' You expect to jump at your order just like another one of your lapdogs? I knew you were thick… but not this thick." Grace giggled, smothering her laughter by putting her hands over her mouth.

"Just come with me," she gritted out. I couldn't tell if she was getting angry or not; the angry spots of pink that should have been appearing on her cheeks if she'd been getting angry was masked by the thick makeup on her face.

"I won't do nothing if you don't say 'please,'" I sang airily, taking a swig of my pumpkin juice. I stole I glance at Prissy again, and this time I saw her clench her fists in anger. I felt a satisfied smile tug on my lips.

"Please," Prissy hissed quietly. I looked at her and faked thinking hard; I wanted to take as long as possible.

"Oh, all right," I said with the air of someone bestowing a great favor. "Since I pity you." I smirked at Prissy and indicated that she should lead the way. "See you in class," I whispered to Grace as I got up from my seat and grabbed my bag.

"I'm sure you can handle her," Grace said, nodding her head to Prissy, "so I won't follow you guys."

I laughed. "You're showing more brains than you let on."

I turned to Prissy, automatically trying not to flinch as I my gaze strayed over her powdered face. She flounced away without another word to me, and I followed, feeling a tongue of anger lick my insides. This girl had slapped me, threatened me, and then tried to jump me….

I wouldn't stand for any of that this time. I knew a whole hoard of jinxes, and I certainly wasn't going to hesitate to use them.

Prissy walked fast for someone with four-inch high-heels strapped onto her feet. Didn't her calves get tired in those? She walked briskly to a small hallway that was deserted of people, near to the entrance to Gryffindor tower. Once there, she stopped and turned to face me.

Before she could open her mouth, I barked, "This had better be something good, 'cause I know how to burn your eyelashes off, and I'm not afraid to do it."

Prissy crossed her arms snottily. "It is good. It's about—"

"Sirius Black, I know, I know… yada yada yada," I finished. I waited for her to say something, but all she did was tap her foot impatiently, like she was waiting for me to say something!

"Well?" Prissy burst out angrily.

I looked at her coolly, refusing to be baited. "Well what?"

"What's going on between you and Siri-poo!" she bleated, sounding just like a sheep. I rolled my eyes—I seemed to be doing that a lot these days.

"I thought I already told you that there's nothing between me and Black," I responded icily. "How many times do I have to say it to get through to your thick skull?"

"I have every reason to not believe you!" Prissy accused. "Siri-poo is always talking about you! YOU! Whenever you're around him, he acts all weird! I'm not stupid, you know!"

"Well, that's a surprise," I snarled viciously, "as I already told you that I don't like him, and you can't seem to get that through your thick skull!"

"He obviously fancies you!" Prissy blew up. "You lied! You've taken Siri-poo away from me!"

"Prissy," I said, trying to be patient and control my anger, "if he was yours in the first place, then I'd never could have 'taken' him away. Which I didn't do!"

"LIAR!" she shrieked. I winched—I was going to go deaf early at this rate. "You're obviously lying about all of this! You just want to gloat in everybody's faces, you bloody American! You want to keep on lying to us, keep on pretending that you don't know so you can glory in your triumph a bit longer! You're despicable!"

Anger roared up in me, higher than ever. How dare she presume the reason behind my actions when she didn't even know me? "Why would I even bother about you? I couldn't care less if you're happy or sad or angry, you—you—you bloody buttnugget!" I fumed.

"Just end it with Siri-poo!" Prissy screamed. "Do whatever you have to—but end your relationship with him!"

Now she was telling me what to do! I tried to take deep, calming breaths; I didn't want to do anything that I would regret.

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO BLOODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" I exploded.

-Sirius's POV-

I opened my eyes with a groan. Everything was fuzzy and dizzying; I felt as if I'd been hit with three Stunners. I closed my eyes again, trying to dredge up any memories of last night, which might explain why I was currently on the ground and feeling as if I had a major hangover from drinking four tankards of firewhisky.

Slowly, the memories floated back to me. Damn. I was sure there'd been a cat in my room—Mrs. Norris, no less. I was absolutely positive! After a bit more hard thinking, I dredged up the recollection that the stupid furball had scratched me! I looked down at my hands, and sure enough, they were severely scratched and had scabs all over. Argh—I even had one on my nose!

I remembered that I'd chased that stupid cat around… and my so-called friends had stunned me!

And… I had been hit with three Stunners! No wonder neither James nor Remus woke me up…. I resolved to put something soft, squishy, and oozy in both of their beds sometime soon. Very soon.

Come to think of it, what had Mrs. Norris been doing in my room anyway? Did she creep up to the boys' dormitories on a regular basis? The thought unaccountably gave me shivers.

Groaning, I heaved myself up quickly got dressed, intending to go down to the hospital wing to get the cut on my nose healed. I didn't want that on my face for a long time—what a way to ruin my looks.

I dragged myself down, but as soon as I stepped out of the empty common room, I heard a roar from several hallways away. Ah. Music to my ears. That was Faye Prewitt's voice, and even better, she wasn't yelling at me. I debated with myself for a moment: to listen, or not to listen; that was the question.

Hah. That was too easy. I was Sirius Black—I picked to listen. Slowly, I crept down the halls, the shouts getting louder.

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Prewitt was bellowing. "I'm not taking anymore of this crap from you!"

Whoever it was that Prewitt was talking to—she had a high, grating voice that invoked bad memories—shouted right back, "I'm giving you a chance! You should be glad that I haven't—!"

"Haven't what?" Prewitt cut her off. What were they arguing about anyways? "Haven't jumped me again? Hah, girl, you need some help with the jumping business. You didn't even get rid of my wand—how thick is that?"

The girl had tried to jump Prewitt? I wanted to barrel in on them both and teach that girl a lesson, but then I remembered that I hated Prewitt and I was to leave her alone. Forever. God, forever was a long time.

"Don't be stupid!" the screechy girl shrieked. "If Remus hadn't come along, then you would still be in that broom closet!"

Remus? Remus had saved Prewitt, playing the knight-in-shining-armor? I needed to speak to him about this. Soon.

"YEAH, RIGHT!" Prewitt roared. I smiled; I loved the way she yelled. It was just so… sexy. "DON'T BE STUPID!"

"I should tell you the same thing! Now, tell me, is there anything between you and Si—!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, NO!" Prewitt bellowed, cutting the girl off. "BLACK"—I started at this. They were talking about me?—" IS THE MOST STUPID, ARROGANT, POMPOUS, SELF-CENTERED IDIOT TO WALK THE EARTH—APART FROM YOU!"

I felt my heart jerk painfully in my chest, and I wanted to shrink down to the ground and disappear.

"No, he isn't!" the girl defended me.

"YES, HE IS! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT I'D LIKE HIM? THE VERY IDEA IS RIDICULOUS! I WOULD NEVER—NEVER—EVER FALL FOR HIM! EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!"

I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. So this was the final truth. She wouldn't ever like me… no matter what. She thought I was a pompous idiot, and she wasn't going to change that opinion any time soon. I'd heard enough. So I guess it's true what they about eavesdroppers getting what they deserved. I turned my back on them and forced myself to walk, not run, to the hospital wing to get my scratches healed.

The voices grew fainter and fainter as I dragged myself away. As I trudged down to the hospital wing… I realized that she'd hurt me more than I'd ever admit to my friends. I'd always known that I liked her… and I guess I'd always known that she'd never think of me as more than an egotistical, self-centered prat who'd be a good riddance. But somehow, I'd never admitted that to myself…. I kept on thinking that if she'd only gotten to know me, then she'd realize that deep down inside, she liked me; or maybe she was just in denial. Or maybe she was afraid to admit that she liked me and resorted to cruel remarks that she didn't mean to hide it….

What the hell was I thinking? Prewitt obviously hated me and had absolutely no intention of changing her opinion. My ego was acting up again.

Well, at least you know it, a truthful voice told me in the back of my head.

"Oh, shut up," I snapped at that annoying, too-honest voice.

Am I getting too factual for your taste? it mocked me.

"It's not the truth!" I insisted angrily.

Haha… keep on telling yourself that, the nasty voice was amused now. She hates you! You just admitted it a moment ago! I couldn't deny that.

"You win… you're right…" I sighed. "So what should I do?"

Go groveling back to her feet.

"Hell, no!" I shouted. "I may have been snubbed, but at least I'd be able to keep my pride intact!"

More like your big ego, as Prewitt would put it.

Ouch. That hurt. "Stop talking to me!" I hissed angrily.

Can't.

"Then get out of my head!" I growled.

Can't. I'm you. The more sensible part of you, that is.

"You are not!" I shouted, scandalized and insulted.

Then how would you explain why you're talking to yourself? I'm your subconscious, honey, and I'm here to stay. Forever.

"Don't call me honey!" I snapped. Merlin! Forever with this annoying voice— forever was a long time.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don't take that tone with me. I'm the only reasonable, smart part of you, so you'd better be a little nicer!

"Who said?" I shot back irritably.

It's common sense. But it's all right; I don't expect you to understand. Prewitt obviously hated you since you lack this quality and certain others that are very essential to everyday life.

"Oh, shut up! Just go back to sleep, or whatever you do normally!"

No can do, not until you make a decision. Are you going to go groveling back to her? Or are you going to keep your big ego alive and try—TRY—to get over her? the spiteful voice asked.

"I've already made my decision!" I snapped. Thankfully, there was no answer. It seemed as if my deranged subconscious had gone back into hibernation mode.

I'd never talk to Pewitt again—that was my decision. I'd get over her. I'd be cold and uncaring towards her. I would! Starting now: I had never liked her. Besides, it's not like she had any very desirable traits.

Satisfied with myself for the moment, I hurried to the hospital wing, telling myself that it was perfectly normal to have an entire conversation with one's own self.

As I hurried by a suit of armor, my reflection caught my attention.

Bloody hell those scratches looked horrible. I needed to get rid of them, and then I'd go back to being the perfect, hot, and completely irresistible Sirius Black who didn't obsess over any girl. It would be the other way around—any girl would be obsessing over me.

-Faye's POV-

"YES, HE IS! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT I'D LIKE HIM? I WOULD NEVER—NEVER—EVER FALL FOR HIM! EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "Are you happy now? Are you satisfied? I won't try to take him away from you! All he can mean to me is a friend! I can't look at anyone as anything more than that—!" I clamped my mouth shut.

I was astounded at those words as soon as they came pouring out of my mouth. I thought of Black as my friend? Well… he did know the worst secret in my life, and he hadn't told anyone, as far as I knew… he'd shown me the kitchens and a secret passageway that, I quote, was "strictly Marauder knowledge only." I knew that he could be funny and amusing and smart sometimes—when he thought that it was okay to let that slip. I couldn't believe that I thought that Black wasn't half bad, and yet at the same time I couldn't believe that I actually was actually even considering that he wasn't the prick I'd always thought he was.

And I knew that all the horrible things about Black that I'd spilled out to Prissy in my temper wasn't true. Well, not entirely. Not all of it. I think.

"Yeah, right! A friend? No girl could think of Sirius Black as just a friend!" Prissy shouted, bringing me out of my thoughts. Fury rushed through me again, commanding me to cut her down to pieces.

"Well, obviously I can!" I shouted back at her. "And if you're only going to keep on claiming that whatever I say is a lie, then why are you even talking to me? I'm going; I'm wasting my time here! I should have known that someone like you would have nothing good or worthwhile to say!"

I was pushing my way roughly past Prissy when she suddenly grabbed my arm, holding me back.

"What now—?" I growled, turning back. A flying palm met my face.

My cheek was now stinging painfully.

Damn that little shithead. This was it. I'd told her to never, ever touch me again! Henry's face flashed before my eyes; his fist slammed into my face again, and the old, never-forgotten pain rose up.

I—popped. I couldn't take it! No one should be able to ever hurt me again!

Whipping out my wand, I aimed for Prissy's face. "I TOLD YOU TO NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I bellowed. I voiced a spell, and Prissy began blowing up, just like a monstrous balloon. Her face expanded, her tiny waist burst outwards, severely stretching her hopefully very expensive shirt.

"This is for wasting my time!"—Prissy's hair turned a sickly green color—"this is for insulting me!"—her fingernails turned into disgustingly ancient, time-blackened claws—"this is for making me say bad things about Sirius Black!"—she started belching a disgusting odor into the air—"and this is for hitting me—again!" With one last spell, I sent Prissy bouncing and floating her way into the Great Hall. I knew I'd get in trouble later, but I didn't care. Prissy had struck me again…!

I tentatively touched my stinging cheek. Damn! I hated that girl. I'd gone through enough beatings, enough pain, enough hurting! I wouldn't stand for any more! Enough was enough. Prissy deserved all of that and more. She wanted to talk to me about my so-called relationship with Black, but she'd disregarded everything I'd said as untrue, and then she'd bitch-slapped me when I'd tried to say just that!

I stormed all the way over to Professor Binns's class, arriving there before anyone had gotten there. I stomped in and flung myself into my seat, glaring at the wall ahead of me. I knew I'd be in for a lot of detention after all that I'd done to Prissy, but I didn't regret it. She deserved it, that foul, conniving, rotten slut!

I didn't look up as people began filing into the room, all of them laughing and giggling. They'd obviously seen Prissy float into the Great Hall as a great, blown up balloon with her hair turned green, claws on her fingers, and belching a horrible smell every five seconds. It made me feel slightly better. I saw Black walk in alone, and I searched his face for any cat scratches that I'd given last night. There were none. So he'd gone to the hospital wing so he wouldn't be seen with a horribly scratched face. What a guy thing to do…. Grace walked in as well, and made a beeline straight for me.

I glowered at everybody else who dared to glance at me even while I greeted Grace. Well, she greeted me, actually, since I couldn't dredge up enough cheerfulness to start a conversation with her.

"You got her good," Grace whispered, taking her seat by my side.

"Serves her right, too," I muttered sourly.

Just then, Professor Binns floated through the wall and opened his book to take roll. I sank down into my seat and stretched my legs, still completely immersed in my foul mood.

This was going to be a long, torturous day.

ll-ll

"Faye, I thought you said you were going to apologize to Sirius yesterday," Grace said, not looking at me as she worked her way through her bowl of porridge.

"Oh, yeah…" I said, scratching my head. "I guess I was a little distracted."

Actually, distracted was an understatement. I was, of course, still mad at Prissy, and my rage was very hard to forget, especially when all those Prissy wannabes were throwing dirty glares my way. It hadn't helped that I'd received another week's worth of detention for using magic in the corridors. Everyone had known it was me that had sent Prissy floating into the Great Hall with the unmistakable signs of hexes all over her body. But I had to admit to myself that it was more than just Prissy that was making me so frustrated.

Ugh.

Life definitely wasn't going for me.

I didn't feel like doing shit, let alone swallowing my pride and apologizing to Black.

"Are you still angry at Prissy?" Grace asked exasperatedly. "What happened? What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter," I said shortly. "I know anything Prissy says isn't worth crap, but… I'm just—I can't help but be all wired up!"

"But you already got payback, didn't you?"

"It's just that—Prissy wants to talk to me about Sirius Black, and yet she believes whatever I say is untrue! And—and—" I struggled with myself to find a way to express it in words. "It's just so complicated," I finished lamely.

"Wait, so is this about Prissy or Sirius?" Grace said slowly.

"I don't know!" I moaned, grabbing a fistful of my own hair and tugging hard. The pain soothed my frustration only for a second. "I just don't know! Prissy just made me think—about how I think of Black! And—and… I don't know what's happening, but I don't think Black is that bad anymore! And I don't want this—this change to happen to me! I want everything to just—just go back to the way it was, the simple way, when Black hated me and I hated him and whatever!

"And Prissy just made me so mad that I spewed a bunch of crap about Black that I know isn't true—but I keep on getting mad at myself for thinking that way—and—and—I don't know how to fix myself!"

I was breathing heavily after I finished my furious, confused tirade. Slumping forward, I buried my face in my arms. Emotions were whirring around in me, thoughts were flashing into my mind, and I couldn't—think clearly! It was horrible that Prissy affected me this much, though deep in my mind I knew that it was really the topic of our conversation that had affected me.

"I thought that we had already established that your argument with Black a few weeks ago was your wrong," Grace said slowly, evidently still trying to process all of my fast, furious words. "I thought that you already didn't hate him, if you were ready to apologize because you knew what you said was wrong."

"And now I'm starting to have second thoughts. I think that the only reason I decided to apologize to him was because I felt sorry for him and his friends…" I trailed off, realizing the truth in my words. "And at the same time, I know I was wrong, but a vindictive part of me also wants Black to be wrong, and I can't figure anything out in this goddamn head of mine!"

"Slow down!" Grace cut in. "Okay, this is obviously not Prissy; it's Sirius. So let's start from the beginning. What exactly did you say to Sirius that day?"

"That he was a horrible prick, and I couldn't stand him, and I couldn't be happier if he left me the hell alone," I replied immediately.

"Okay!" she answered. "Now, Faye, do you really think that he's a horrible prick?"

" Yes!" I said adamantly.

"You're sure?" Grace asked, looking at me in a consulting fashion. "If your life was at stake, would you truly say that Sirius is a horrible prick?"

"Ye—!" I was about to answer when I spied Black, sitting all the way down the table. He was obviously doing something funny and silly and hyper, and all the Marauders were laughing at his antics. I saw his roguish dark eyes sparkling with mischief and fun—but at the same time I knew that there was another emotion behind it, one that he was hiding.

"No," I breathed out softly. "I don't."

"'Kay," Grace blew out her breath. "So can you really not stand him?"

I resigned myself to being brutally honest. "I guess I can stand him sometimes," I muttered.

"Are you really happy that he's leaving you the hell alone?"

I fiercely pondered this question. I knew that I sort of missed having arguments with him… I almost missed his perverted comments…. Key word: almost.

"I'm not happy… but I'm not that sad either!" I said defensively.

"So… do you think he's your friend?" Grace asked seriously.

"What are you, my therapist?" I grunted grumpily.

"And we're having the therapy session over breakfast where anybody can listen in," Grace rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question."

"I—I don't know," I struggled out. "I don't think we can even get to that level."

"Would you like to be?"

I stared at Grace, who was looking at me thoughtfully. "I honestly can't say," I found myself saying. "He can sometimes—very rarely—be likable, and other times… he can be awful."

"It seems as if we're encountering too many I-don't-know's," Grace judged critically. "There is only one solution to clear up your confused mind."

"What's that?" I asked, feeling a bit of forbidding grip me.

"Apologize to him, like you decided to do earlier," Grace verified my worst fears. "It's the only way you'll be able to clear up your feelings—get to know him a bit more before you make a decision that you won't regret."

I wanted to scream at her for being so logical. "Sometimes you're too sensible for your own good," I grumbled, spearing a potato on the end of my fork and looking at it sullenly.

"Your welcome," she answered airily. "The price for that therapy session is four Galleons."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks. I'm flat broke, by the way, so that session will just have to go for free. And since your heart bleeds buttermilk, I'm sure you'll understand."

Grace pouted. "I'm sure I don't! You'll have to make this up to me, mark my words! If I have to stalk you night and day, classes and no classes, into the bathroom and out, I'LL GET MY FOUR GALLEONS!"

I laughed.

ll-ll

I stared at the back of Sirius Black's head. He was, at the moment, gazing dreamily out the window, the power of Professor Binns's monotonous voice obviously taking its toll on him. I'd been staring at him all day, debating with myself, trying to find the perfect, least embarrassing moment to say sorry to him. Too bad that moment had eluded me all day. Black had either been deeply immersed in talking and joking with his friends, or flirting with girls, or disappearing off somewhere to most probably have a snogging session with some girl or the other. It was, needless to say, very discouraging.

But I had to apologize, no matter what. If no opportunities were presenting themselves, then I'd just have to make opportunities.

Swearing under my breath, I resolved to catch him right after class. It was better to get it over and done with, the whole burden off my chest.

I glared at the pearly-white, wispy form of Professor Binns, willing the class to be over. Or to make it never end. Damnit, I couldn't decide which.

The bell rang, and I steeled myself to approach Black. He hadn't yet realized that class was over; he was still staring out the window with glazed eyes.

It was now or never. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he jerked around, his chin falling off his cupped hands. I resisted the temptation to laugh.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I hasted to say instead, painfully swallowing my pride. It felt horrible going down my throat.

I watched curiously as a whole barrage of emotions across Black's face as he stared at me. First was surprise, then something that looked like a painful hope… but then his eyes darkened, and I was surprised to see anger flash into them.

"Talk to me?" he laughed, a hard edge to his voice. "Why would you want to even bother talking to a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant git like me?"

I was taken aback by his biting tone. A bit of guilt and shame flashed through—I had really hurt him with what I'd said.

"Look, Black…" I tried to say, but for some reason, that made him madder.

"I don't care about anything that you've got to say!" he snarled, pushing himself out of his seat and grabbing his books.

"Wait!" I said, but he didn't listen. He was out of the door before I could even begin to think. I stood motionless, staring after Black, looking at the empty doorway.

At least there was no one else left in the classroom to see. Black had coldly pushed away anything I might have said. He'd just… well… rejected me. Not that I'd asked him out… but I had something to say, and he'd brushed me off like he totally didn't care about anything I'd had to say. For the first time, I experienced the kind of rejection that I'd shown him.

And I was surprised at how much it hurt.

I slowly sank down into an empty seat, staring blankly at the wall. So this was how it felt. I felt ashamed of myself, of all the times I'd done the exact same thing to others and not cared about how they might have felt about it.

I had to get Black to talk to me; I had to apologize to him. I had to make him listen to what I had to say. If anything, his coldness towards me had made me even more determined to say sorry. I was wrong—I'd known that for a long time. I was wrong, and I'd make amends.

I wasn't really angry with Black. He had every right to act that way with me.

I was lying to myself. Of course I was angry with him for brushing me off like that. But he did have every right to act like that. So it was up to me to make things better, smooth things over.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and stuck my chin defiantly out. I would see this through.

I picked up my bag and walked out the door, my back ramrod straight.

Grace was waiting for me at the end of the hallway.

"What happened?" she asked, falling in step with me. "I saw Sirius shoot past a moment ago, looking very angry and upset. You didn't say anything bad, did you? Apologies don't include insults, you know."

I shot her a look. "I know," I scowled. "I'm not a simpleton."

"One can always wonder about that," Grace pondered thoughtfully.

I shoved her good-naturedly, my bad mood lifting for a moment.

"So what happened, then?" she pleaded again after a moment, bringing me crashing back down.

"Well," I began testily, "I asked Black if I could talk to him, and then he told me no, and then he ran off."

"He didn't want to talk to you?" Grace asked. "Interesting. I would have thought…"

"…Otherwise," I finished for her dryly. "Well, I guess he has every right to be mad at me."

"You're still going to apologize, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I sighed resignedly. "I will. Though I'd really rather not."

"It's all right," Grace consoled me sympathetically. "He'll have to talk to you sometime or the other."

"Yeah…" I acknowledged. "Of course."

Not.

As it turned out, Black didn't think that he had to ever talk to me again. He avoided me at all times, and he was often either playing pranks or off traipsing around with some girl. It was driving me nuts. Whenever I tried to intercept him after class, he would ignore me and whisk off somewhere as quick as lightning. I found out that Black was very, very good evading people when he wanted to.

I even tried talking to Remus about Black. Remus and James's bags had disappeared, and Peter had begun sleeping in the dorm again. When I asked Remus about this, he only said that they all decided to use the Silencing Charm. Remus wasn't much help in helping me talk to Black. He had only shrugged and said, "Well, once he cools down a bit, he'll be bound to listen."

I had a feeling it'd be a long time before Black "cools down a bit." To make matters worse, whenever Black brushed me off, a ton of onlooking girls would take it upon themselves to taunt and snipe at me. Fiona was a particular one that wouldn't back down. God… whenever I saw my half-sister I felt like wringing her neck and leaving her in the sun to rot and be picked at by buzzards. And Prissy—she was even worse than Fiona. She pinched me whenever possible, throwing death glares my way, and screeched a grinding laugh whenever Black disregarded my attempts to talk to him.

My determination was really wearing thin. More and more, every time Black brushed me off, anger instead of fresh resolution started boiling up, fighting for the chance to explode in Black's face. Hurt and anger both was rubbing sorely on my resolve, fraying it dangerously thin.

One day, after a rather enjoyable Potions session where Severus and I had managed to concoct a perfect potion yet again, I decided to make the most of my good mood and persevere in talking to Black.

"See you later, Severus!" I said, waving bye to him through the crowd. Severus nodded curtly before turning his back on me. Lately, he'd been much more withdrawn and snappish, though I knew better than to point it out to him or ask why.

I spotted Black moving away in the crowd, laughing uproariously over something with Potter. Gritting my teeth, I approached them slowly.

"Black," I said, waiting for him to turn around to face me. When he didn't, I repeated his name, louder. "Black!"

"Do you hear anything, James?" Black said loudly. Potter glanced at me confusedly and a little uneasily.

"Er…" Potter said.

"I thought not," Black finished for him. "Sounds more like a fly buzzing around, eh?"

Ouch. I bit my lip to refrain from slinging back a nasty retort. "Can I talk to you?" I followed Black as he walked down the hallway with his head held high. Just like a girl, I couldn't help but add in my mind.

"So, Moony, about that…" Black was saying. I saw Remus shoot me a look.

"Sirius," Remus interrupted his rant loudly, "Peter and I have to go finish our Transfiguration essay. C'mon, James, you have to help us. You're the transfiguration genius of the year. See you later Padfoot! Lucky dog, you already finished yours!" With that said, Remus dragged Peter and James off, leaving Black standing there, his mouth working soundlessly at this show of his friends' betrayal. I hid a smile and made a note to thank Remus later.

Black turned away from me and began to briskly walk away, down the hallway. My smile gone, I ran after him.

"Wait! Hold up a second, damn you!" I yelled furiously at his retreating back. "What's wrong with you? Just listen to what I have to say!"

I knew I'd said the wrong thing, for Black stopped in mid-stride, his back stiffening. But at least this gave me the opportunity to catch up to him.

"Black," I said, walking around to face him. "I—!" My words, so hard thought over and rehearsed, died in my mouth as soon as I saw his eyes flashing anger at me. They looked dangerous, dark, deep… it made me think that he could do anything. I knew that Black had a short fuse on his temper… why the hell hadn't I ever thought about how much damage he could cause if that fuse ignited? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw people running for it, clearing the hallway out for the fight that was bound to happen.

"You what?" he hissed, his voice low and hard. "You want to make fun of me again, laugh at me, tell me off for being such a prat?"

I was completely taken aback. "No! I just wanted to say that—"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say!" Black yelled, making me jump. "I don't give a damn about you anymore, alright? So get the hell out of my face!"

I listened to his words, rage growing inside me, leaping up in hot, angry flames. I planted my feet firmly and lifted my chin defiantly. I would see this through. I didn't care if he hated me even after I apologized—I was doing what was right, and that was all that mattered. "Just listen to this last thing, Black! After I'm done, you can decide whether or not you hate my guts or not, or whether or not to ignore me until your guts drop out, or whatever you want to do! What, is that too much to ask of your Royal Highness?"

He opened his mouth, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Shut—up!" he hissed.

"No," I defied him.

"What the hell could you possible have to say to a git like me!" Black hollered, a touch of sarcasm in his voice, his handsome face contorted in fury and… hurt? "You already made it perfectly clear that I'm a arrogant, egotistical brat, and you want nothing to do with me at all! I'm taking the hint and staying out of your life! I don't want to be in your life, you bloody halfwit! Can't you take that hint and sod off! JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE, YOU DUMB BIMBO!"

I flinched at those words. "Dumb bimbo?" I jabbed back. "Who the hell are you calling dumb? I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all the nasty, horrible things I said to you, and you're so dumb as to not even want to listen! I thought you liked humbling me, proving me wrong!"

He raised his eyebrows skeptically. "You, apologize to me? You're bluffing. You think all the things you said are true! TRUE! You don't think you have anything to be sorry for! Why are you even spewing this crap? What, trying to curry favor for some stupid reason?"

I gritted my teeth and stomped my feet. Comically childish, I know, but I couldn't blow off steam in any other way. "HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW I THINK? You sure as hell don't know the first bloody thing about me! As if I'd ever stoop so low as to apologize for something I don't think is wrong just to 'curry favor'!"

"I don't know the first bloody thing about you?" Black smirked. "I know all about your little secret that you don't want anyone to know! Your father…."

I flinched and took an involuntary step back. I didn't want him to mention this; I didn't want him to make me remember anything. How could he do this, make me recall painful memories just so he could win a fight? Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn't have anything to apologize for!

I forced my gaze back up to Black's face. I was practically radiating fury. I could feel it in my bones—I wanted to hurt him for talking like that. I wanted to hurt him, punch him, make him feel all the pain I'd ever felt. I felt hot and feverish and ready to fight with my all, fight with everything I had.

"YOU ARE EVERYTHING I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR!" I bellowed. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU COULD BRING THAT UP! YOU ARE THE MOST INSUFFERABLE, SELFISH, EGOTISTICAL, ARROGANT, PRETENTIOUS, SWOTTISH BOY EVER! HOW COULD YOU EVEN FRIGGING SAY THAT? WHAT, YOU JUST LOVE BLURTING OUT SECRETS JUST TO WIN A DAMN ARGUMENT!"

When I finished with my furious tirade, my whole body shaking uncontrollably, and I felt dizzy and hot from the rush of adrenaline or whatever it was. For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of guilt in Black's eyes, but it was gone so soon that it must have been my imagination. His next words completely proved that.

"You deserve it," he asserted coolly. I struggled with myself, not believing that he'd just said that. "You're a raging spitfire, always talking crap about me even when you're not arguing with me! Besides, I didn't actually name your secret, did I?" Black smiled smugly, enjoying the fact that he had slighted me.

"YOU—YOU!" I couldn't find anything to say. My head was clouded with a firestorm of rage and fury, fanned by that insufferably smug smirk on Black's face. "You sadistic, incorrigible bastard!" I spat out. "You will never grow up, will you, Black? You just want to stay the immature git you are, flirting shamelessly with five girls at once, playing stupid pranks on people who don't deserve it one bit, using secrets to hurt others!"

"Well," Black pronounced casually, leaning against the wall, his eyes still belying his inner anger. "I guess that has cleared up your opinion of me and my opinion of you."

"And what's that?" I spat bitterly. "That I'm a bitch with something shoved up my ass! That I'm an attention-seeking prick? Or a currier of bloody favor!"

"Why, you read my mind," Black declared frostily.

"Yeah, well," I yelled, rage boiling over and flooding my entire body with a hot, searing feeling. How come nothing I was saying was affecting him as much as what he said affected me? "You're just a bloody, bigheaded prat who thinks the world revolves around you!"

"I don't give a damn what you think about me!" Black snapped, his eyes narrowing. At least he dropped his you-can't-get-to-me act. "You're nothing."

"Nothing, am I?" I hissed. "Then how come you talk to me in your sodding sleep? You're bloody pa-thetic! At least I'm not desperate enough to do that! You're more of a nothing than I am!"

I saw Black's cheeks flush, either in embarrassment or in anger. "I don't bloody talk about you in my damn dreams, Prewitt! God, you're getting stuck up! You're the one who thinks everything's all about yourself!"

"I DON'T!" I yelled. "It's you that does! And you know I'm telling the truth, Black!"

"You're a sodding prick!" he shouted back. "Just because I dream of swearing at you like you deserve doesn't mean freaking shit!"

"Bollocks!" I screamed.

"Uh huh," Black snapped. "You just want to know that the world's about you. You want to take pleasure in that! And you tell me that I'm self-centered! Oh, wait, I'm sorry. It's your only way of making yourself feel good."

I could feel my cheeks burning an angry red—my ears were even hotter than my cheek, though.

I stamped right over to him and glared up into his infuriating face. "That's bullshit! You are the only one who's egotistical here! You breeze through school, taking your brains for granted, and you make sure everyone knows that everything's easy for you! You show off left and right; you love having bloody girls throwing themselves at your feet to inflate your ego even more! You love playing pranks and grabbing the spotlight; you love turning up the 'charm' with teachers—YOU JUST BLOODY LOVE KNOWING THAT YOU'RE POPULAR BECAUSE OF YOUR LOOKS AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU HAVE ON OTHER PEOPLE! AND YOU'RE STILL CALLING ME SELF-CENTERED!"

"Are you done telling me what an unbelievable prick I am?" Black broke into my tirade. "'Cause I've got a few things to say to you!"

"Oh?" I snarled. "And what could your pitiful brain possible think of?"

"That you're the most hypocritical, demented, horrible, bitchy, hateful person I've ever met!" Black sneered. I blanched, even as my hurt pride fanned the fires of anger in me ever higher. "You pick fights, sometimes out of nothing, and don't you dare deny that you're selfish and arrogant! You're just a bitter girl who can't stand that anyone can be better than you! Fiona was right about you—you're a jealous, conniving witch, and you like doing nasty things just for the sake of hurting others that aren't a part of the crowd you deem acceptable to hang out with!"

I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. Did he really think that I was that horrible…? He agreed with Fiona…? A second later, rage consumed me. I felt a fiery conflagration eat away at me, howling in my mind, demanding that Black pay the price. To my shame, I also felt a great fat, hateful lump of tears in my throat.

"I like hurting others just for the heck of it?" I said softly, glaring at Black in the face. "What about you? What about how you treat Severus and all Slytherins in general? If that's not sadism, than I don't know what is! And what about when you asked me out just so you could dump me and make a fool out of me in front of the entire school!" The conversation I'd heard between Black and Potter in their dorm at the beginning of the year had never been forgotten. "And what about going out with Fiona just because you thought it would annoy me! Black, you'd better take a better look at yourself, and tell me which cell your bloody conscience is locked up in! You're the sodding lowlife here, not me!"

"You—!" Black's eyes flashed with anger, and he raised a hand up menacingly. I stared right back at him.

"You going to hit me now?" I asked. "You going to hurt me now?" I gazed at his angry face and threatening position, not seeing him at all, but seeing Henry. Would I ever be rid of my father? Would I ever be able to look at another boy without my father's face lurking behind my thoughts?

"Hit me," I breathed, glowering at him, fiery angry bubbling dangerously. I didn't even know why I was saying this. I hated it when people so much as touched me. "Hit me, Black. I dare you to! Let's see if you have the guts for it. Let's see if you're the typical male who'd do anything to prove a point, win a bet, or prove their so-called manliness! I've already been hit—do you think another punch from you would make any difference? Besides… it'd be what you'd do. Whenever someone says the harsh truth about you… you defend yourself like this, like a bloody man. Just go ahead and be that way!"

For a moment, I thought he really was going to hit me. Black's fist tightened, and he visibly tensed. Then he dropped his fist, though his eyes still remained locked on mine, whirlpools of dark, bottomless anger.

"You're not worth it, Prewitt," he finally bit out. "You're not worth any of this! None of your words are worth bloody crap!"

So this was it, then.

"Well, you know what?" I asked icily, trying to get a rein on the loud, angry, incoherent words that wanted to spill out of me. "I don't give a damn about you or your words, either. I'm wasting my time doing this. I spent hours thinking of a sincere way to apologize to you, hours swallowing my pride to go to you to say I was sorry for acting like such a git! You brushed me off for trying to do just that, and I had to endure the stupid, smug laughs of your brainless fanclub! IT WASN'T WORTH SHIT! You don't deserve my apology! You are an insufferable prick, as you proved to me right quite effortlessly, and I don't need to waste my time or breath talking to you!"

I glared at him with every fiber of my being trying to send him the message: I hate you! He glowered right back, matching my glare with his.

"So this is war, huh, Prewitt?" were his next words.

"You bet it is," I threw back at him venomously.

"You'd better watch out," Black said softly.

I snorted. "Bring. It. On." I flung the words at his face. "I'm not afraid of you, and I never will be."

"Well, you should be," he said softly, his eyes burning in his face, seeming to be a depthless pool that would drown me mercilessly. He held my gaze for the longest time before he turned away, tossing a contemptuous look over his shoulder, and strode away.

I turned abruptly as well and strode away in the opposite direction, forcing my legs to keep at a walking pace. I wouldn't lower myself any more by running. But as soon as I turned the corner, the urge to get as far away from Black as possible became to too strong, and my legs broke into a staggering run. My words were still ringing in my ears, and my rage was still dashing about inside me madly, looking for some vent. Fine! If this was the way he wanted it, then it was fine by me! He didn't want my apology—fine! He wanted to stay a prick—fine! I didn't give a damn!

But I was lying to myself. I did give a damn. I did care.

I hated the way he made me so angry, and I hated the way he made a huge lump form in the back of my throat; I hated the way he insulted me like there was no tomorrow. And, most of all, I hated the fact that he made me feel anything. He was insignificant, contemptible—he wasn't important enough to get me so wired up!

I hated him, and that would never, ever change. Period.

My steps took me back to the East Tower. I dashed up the staircase, ignoring the fact that class was going to start in a few minutes, ignoring the fact that Grace would be worried about me, that I had a ton of homework to do before I turned in for the night, that I had a detention to serve tonight. I didn't care anymore! The torches lighting up the spiral staircase flared brightly as I fled from the world, but I didn't give a damn about something as insignificant as flaring torches.

My breaths were coming in short, stinging gasps when I finally burst up into the East Tower. I flung my bag away from me, kicking it violently. I heard several ink bottles crack, but I didn't care.

"GODDAMNIT!" I screamed as loudly as I could, my voice echoing over the silent grounds. "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"

I didn't know why Black got to me so much. None of what he said was true… was it? Why did he have to be such a goddamn prick? Why did he have to say all those things? Why did he have to get under my skin like that? Why couldn't he just act like a normal human being, accept my apology, and let me get on with my life! He was driving me crazy!

Why did he have to make me believe that he was actually a good person? And why did he have to go blow that carefully, painfully constructed image into a thousand smithereens? WHY THE HELL WAS HE EVEN IN MY BLOODY LIFE!

All these why's were whirring around in my head, making my mind cloudy with anger and haze. I didn't even want to take out my violin or guitar to play it off, siphon all these feelings off… I was half-afraid that I'd lose it and crash the instruments onto the ground in anger. So I paced—paced back and forth and back and forth and repeated it all over again.

So this was how Black wanted it. FINE! End of our so-called friendship—the end! He was the unbearable prat I'd met in the beginning of the year, and nothing short of a miracle would ever get him to change.

I hate him, I thought furiously, not for the first time.

Hate, hate, hate!

-Sirius's POV-

"Are you done telling me what an unbelievable prick I am?" I snapped. "'Cause I've got a few things to say to you!" How could this unbelievable girl just march up to me and think that I would want to talk to her?

"Oh?" Prewitt snarled, her golden eyes flashing dangerously. "And what could your pitiful brain possible think of?"

I couldn't stop myself. I barrage of words flooded out of my mouth. She was just—just so—pushy! She couldn't let a thing drop; she had to push me, cut off my space, insult me…!

"That you're the most hypocritical, demented, horrible, bitchy, hateful person I've ever met!" I sneered. I didn't care what I was saying anymore! She was so stupid! Apologize to me, my arse! She was picking another fight, insulting me again for being a 'prick!' I felt a certain sadistic satisfaction when I saw Prewitt blanch.

"You pick fights, sometimes out of nothing, and don't you dare deny that you're selfish and arrogant! You're just a bitter, bitter girl who can't stand that anyone can be better than you! Fiona was right about you—you're a jealous, conniving witch, and you like doing nasty things just for the sake of hurting others!"

Immediately, I felt sorry for what I'd said. Prewitt flinched, and I saw a degree of hurt and anger and shame in her eyes that almost made me cringe. Until I remembered that she was a backstabbing prat who loved spewing crap about me whenever possible to whoever possible.

"I like hurting others just for the heck of it?" Prewitt said softly, glaring at me in the face. "What about you? What about how you treat Severus and all Slytherins in general? If that's not sadism, than I don't know what is! And what about when you asked me out just so you could dump me and make a fool out of me in front of the entire school! And what about going out with Fiona just because you thought it would annoy me!" How the hell did she know that? "Black, you'd better take a better look at yourself, and tell me where your bloody conscience ran off! You're the sodding lowlife here, not me!"

"You—!" I snarled, rage brewing up alarmingly. I couldn't think—she just made me forget everything but my anger! I raised a hand up menacingly before I even knew what I was doing. Prewitt stared right back at me, her eyes veiled with thoughts and memories.

"You going to hit me now?" she asked. "You going to hurt me now?" She was staring at me, but I had a feeling—behind my raging anger—that she wasn't really seeing me.

"Hit me," Prewitt ordered. I saw fiery angry smoldering in her eyes. "Hit me, Black. I dare you to! Let's see if you have the guts for it. Let's see if you're the typical male who'd do anything to prove a point, win a bet, or prove their so-called manliness! I've already been hit—do you think another punch from you would make any difference? Besides… it'd be what you'd do. Whenever someone says the harsh truth about you… you defend yourself like this, like a bloody man. Just go ahead and be that way!"

That hit hard. For a moment, I would have liked nothing more than to just strike her, shut her up, stop those hurtful words from coming out her mouth—just stop her from making me feel so small about myself! My fist tightened, and I tensed. But then I looked deep into Prewitt's eyes again. I saw defiance, anger, and… just so many emotions that it made me dizzy.

But I couldn't hurt her. I knew that. I dropped my fist, still staring straight into her hot amber eyes. I wish I didn't care about her like this. I wish that she wasn't right about me. I wish that she could just—see me. Not as Sirius Black, the famous playboy of Hogwarts. Not as the son of the wealthy Black family.

But she couldn't—or wouldn't. I was right about Faye Prewitt. She would never like me, or even see past my shell.

Or maybe she saw right through me, and saw the real, horrible part of me…. Maybe my friends wouldn't even like me if they saw what she saw.

"You're not worth it, Prewitt," I finally snapped. "You're not worth any of this! None of your words are worth bloody crap!"

"Well, you know what?" Prewitt asked icily. "I don't give a damn about you or your words, either. I'm wasting my time doing this. I spent hours thinking of a sincere way to apologize to you, hours swallowing my pride to go to you to say I was sorry for acting like such a git! You brushed me off for trying to do just that, and I had to endure the stupid, smug laughs of your brainless fanclub! IT WASN'T WORTH SHIT! You don't deserve my apology! You are an insufferable prick, as you proved to me right quite effortlessly, and I don't need to waste my time or breath talking to you!"

Fine! If she wanted it to be that way, just—FINE!

"So this is war, huh, Prewitt?" I verified coldly, staring into her rage-filled face.

"You bet it is," she threw the words right back at me, her tone filled with loathing.

"You'd better watch out," I said softly.

She snorted rudely. She couldn't stop being herself for one moment. Figures. "Bring. It. On. I'm not afraid of you, and I never will be."

"Well, you should be," I replied, my voice soft and even, my eyes never leaving hers. The longest moment passed as we stood there, glaring at each other with a vengeance, until I finally couldn't stand her molten gaze any more. I tore my gaze away and turned jerkily around and began to walk away, forcing myself to keep a steady pace. I threw one more contemptuous look at her—she wouldn't get the last word this time.

After a second, I heard her footsteps going down the corridor, and they break into a run soon after. In a daze of anger and self-hate and confusion, I turned and staggered right into a wall. I shook her words from my head angrily. This was my choice. She wasn't worth it—she wasn't worth anything. She didn't give a shit about me—she wanted to apologize to me to clear her own conscience, not to settle mine or do what was right. And I'd rather have Prewitt hate me than hide behind the pretense of a fake apology.

I straightened my shoulders and stomped off, Prewitt's words still ringing in my ears, filling my skull. Soon I was in a crowded hallway, but I didn't care to stop or talk to anyone.

"Oh, Paddy-waddie," a random girl squealed breathlessly. A pair of hands grabbed at me. "About Hogsmeade weekend…"

"Get off!" I shouted, shoving the girl away from me impatiently, angrily. I didn't want their hands all over me! And I hated the name Paddy-waddie, Siri-poo, or any other nickname that wasn't Padfoot! "Stay the fu away from me!"

There was a stunned silence after this, and the girl burst into tears. But I didn't care—I didn't want to care. So I was an attention-seeking prick who didn't give a damn about anyone else's feelings, was I? Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint Faye Prewitt!

I hurriedly sprinted to the entrance hall and pushed open the heavy oak doors, running out into the open just as I heard a faint voice yell, "Goddamnit! Damn it all to hell!"

I knew that it was Prewitt. Growling under my breath, I pressed my hands to my ears angrily, shutting out her voice.

But I kept on reliving her words.

"What about you? What about how you treat Severus and all Slytherins in general? If that's not sadism, than I don't know what is! And what about when you asked me out just so you could dump me and make a fool out of me in front of the entire school! And what about going out with Fiona just because you thought it would annoy me? Black, you'd better take a better look at yourself, and tell me where your bloody conscience ran off to! You're the sodding lowlife here, not me!"

I didn't bloody care about her anymore! She didn't know me… she didn't know me—that was the only reason she said those things… right? I told her about my family… why couldn't she understand that I picked on Snape because he was a bloody git who'd most likely become a Death Eater? Why couldn't she understand that the Slytherins were evil, ambitious…? Why couldn't she understand that I liked attention, and that I liked showing off to prove to my family that I was someone, not the nonentity that they'd always labeled me as?

I sat by the black lake, looking over its slightly ruffled surface, trying to siphon off all of my anger. I tried… but I failed. Miserably. I kept on reliving the exact expression on Prewitt's face as she screamed at me… I could see the same expression mirrored in another face, so long ago. A face—or rather, two faces—that haunted me… my mother and father. How they used to scream and rage about me, shouting obscenities at me right in front of my face… even hitting me sometimes. But that wasn't what hurt. What hurt was how they'd ignored me, neglected me, pretended that I didn't even exist. I wasn't a good enough son… I wasn't a good enough anything… Regulus, that soft fool, was the one they cooed over endlessly, whereas I locked myself in my room and wished that I was away from the whole place—Number 12, Grimmauld Place. That name sent shivers down my spine.

Images kept on flashing back to me as I sat there, quietly brewing. That was where James found me, still brewing, way after the sun had set.

"Padfoot?" James asked. I didn't move.

"Padfoot, what did that idiot say to you?" he sighed, a tint of anger in his voice.

Instead of answering his question, I voiced a query of my own—the query that had been bothering me ever since Prewitt had pronounced her verdict about me. "Prongs, do you think that I'm a bad person?"

"No!" James affirmed, startled and taken aback. "Prewitt's been saying that, hasn't she?" His tone was hard. "It's not true, mate. You're fine—you're the best friend anyone could ask for!"

"But I'm a self-centered showoff who bullies people for no apparent reason just for the heck of it, I flirt shamelessly with any girl who's pretty, and I enjoy being vain and popular," I contradicted bitterly, looking over the lake moodily.

"Sirius," James said firmly. "You just have a point to prove. You just want to show your bloody family that you can be someone without their support, that muggleborns are just as good as purebloods. Everyone around here always have something to prove to the world. And no one said that you couldn't enjoy being popular. As for the flirting with girls thing—I say, quoted from you, 'be young while you still are.' There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're funny and hyper, which can sometimes be very scary,"—I looked at him indignantly; funny how James could never get too serious—"you're smart, and you're dead loyal to your friends. And if Prewitt can't see that, then… well, that's her loss."

I laughed a bit, though I knew that James knew it was forced. "Thanks, Prongs. It's good to know at least someone think that… you know, if I were a girl, I'd hug you right now."

"Thank goodness you're not," James shuddered, and I thumped him indignantly. But at least the sappy mood was destroyed. I didn't want to be girly. I was buff and manly!

"Let's go back to the dorm," he spoke up. "It's about bloody time to sleep."

I groaned. "I don't feel like it. I know I'm going to start spewing obscenities about her."

"Go ahead. I'm not going to stop you. She'd deserve it," James barked huffily.

"Okay!" I said forcefully. I desperately needed someone to rant and rail to! "First of all, I overheard her talking to someone, and she shouted out for anyone to hear that she hated my overstuffed guts! I mean, how was I supposed to take that!" The more I talked about her, the angrier I got, like I wasn't really draining off my anger, but making it worse by a hundredfold.

"On second thought," Prongs groaned, "please keep our thoughts to yourself."

-Faye's POV-

I dragged myself back to the common much, much later. I'd missed my detention, and Filch would probably be livid, and I'd be in even more trouble… but I didn't care. As soon as the portrait hole closed behind me, I heard a gasp. The common room was empty—except for one person.

Grace.

She was sitting in one of the armchairs with a book, and upon my entrance, she dropped her book and ran over to me. I felt warm and pleased… she'd stayed up for me.

"Let me guess," Grace said dryly. "It turned from an apology to a hell of a fight, and now you two are back to being mortal enemies."

"How'd you guess?" I asked bitterly.

"Let me think," she answered seriously. "Well, first I heard a bunch of students chattering about the major fight you two were about to have and to stay off the third corridor. Second, you didn't show up for the rest of your classes, and you probably missed your detention as well, and Black didn't show up to any classes either. Third, you just came in here looking as if you'd been dragged kicking and screaming by your heels in to the fiery pits of hell twice over."

"Good reasons," I grumbled, collapsing onto an armchair.

There was a moment of silence before Grace ventured, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I leapt up in my seat, anger suffusing me anew. "YES! Black was being such a prick—he mentioned my family—and then he told me that I was a bloody, horrible, hateful, sadistic person, and—and…"—I sank back down into my seat—"I'd better not talk about it, or I'll get even angrier and explode." For a while, only the crackle of the furiously burning logs in the fireplace could be heard.

"Well, at least you tried," Grace dragged out. "Right?"

"Right," I said halfheartedly. "At least I tried."

Suddenly, voices on the boys' staircase made us both look up, and the scene that met my eyes was one of the strangest I'd ever seen. Remus, James, and Peter were piling down the stairs, wearing pajamas and carrying their pillows and blankets. Remus was muttering darkly under his breath, and James was buttoning up his pajama top, swearing loudly, and Peter was trailing behind them, looking distinctly annoyed.

"What're you all doing down here?" Grace asked, confused. James gave us both a short, cold look, directed especially at me. I wasn't surprised at all.

"Sirius is being a right evil cow," Remus answered, settling into a loveseat with a sigh. He fluffed his pillow a bit before sinking down and jerking the covers over himself.

At the mention of his name, my black mood threatened to swoop down on me again.

"So why didn't you just Stun him?" I snarled sourly. "That'd put him out like a light, just like he deserves."

James scowled. "In this mood, he'd kill us for doing that. As it was, I placed a Silencing Charm on him, and he nearly tore me apart, limb-by-bloody-limb. So we decided to leave him in his misery and come down here to try and get a good night's sleep." Here he looked pointedly at me, and his meaning couldn't possibly be clearer.

I matched Potter glare for glare. I was sure the feelings emanating from the two of us was very palpable.

"Faye, what did you say to him?" Remus sighed after a very uncomfortable silence between the five of us.

I jutted my chin out defensively. "Nothing." At this, Potter looked furious, so I decided to elaborate a bit. Just a bit. It wouldn't do for Potter to get the idea that I was afraid of him. "Just the truth. Nothing less."

All three of the Marauders groaned. "The 'truth' to you is more like the most cutting insults to normal people," Potter moaned.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I snapped hostilely, ready to jump into a fight. Adrenaline was rushing into me, making me almost dizzy with anticipation.

"Nothing," Potter replied nonchalantly, arranging his blankets around him neatly. I glared at him ferociously. "Just the truth."

Fury rose alarmingly fast in me, and I leapt to my feet, ready to beat the crap out of Potter. If he was looking for a fight, then he'd get one, and it'd be just too bad for him if he lost a limb or two!

Unfortunately, he wasn't. He merely stared back at me balefully before turning his back to me. And nobody could have a decent, righteous, fight without two angry people.

"I'm going up to bed," I gritted out to Grace. "I don't want to stay here with a creep like Potter."

Grace glanced at me resignedly before nodding and following me towards the girls' staircase. A male voice behind me made me stop briefly.

"I'm warning you, Prewitt," Potter called. "Don't you ever talk to Sirius again. After all he's gone through because of you… you should be glad that I'm not even hexing your butt off at this moment. You'd better stay away from him… or you'll have hell to pay."

I stiffened angrily and turned back. "There's no need to say that to me. I'd never talk to Black again if my life depended on it. He's not worth wasting my time on! But don't—don't—threaten me, Potter. I'm not afraid of you, or your measly fans that would jump at your every beck and call to bully your victims, so don't think that you can intimidate me into following your golden orders. This is war—Black vs. Prewitt. If you think you can make my life 'hell', think again, Potter—if it's not too much to ask of your pathetic, pea-sized brain!"

Without waiting for a reply, I sped up the stairs, closely followed by Grace.

"What's wrong with you?" Grace hissed as soon as I closed the door behind her. The room was filled with the deep, even breathing of the other sleeping girls. "That's James Potter that you just insulted! He could give you hell, you know! Lord knows what he puts Lily through, and with Lily's he's trying to be nice."

"I know," I said, sitting on my bed and taking off my shoes. "But I can't back down to him or Black."

"What did happen in your argument?" Grace asked softly. "He must have said something really bad… you're acting like…"

"Like I have something stuck up my arse?" I supplied dryly, remembering the argument. I pushed my face into my pillow, but I flinched and pulled back. My face was tender and sore and hurting yet again! Sunburned. There was definitely something wrong with me. To make things worse, a headache I hadn't noticed earlier was starting to build up in the back of my head.

"Yeah," Grace agreed apologetically.

"Big surprise there," I said bitterly. "I hate him, Grace. I bloody hate him!"

"It's okay," she consoled soothingly. "After a while, you'll cool down…"

"Fat chance," I snorted. "Not with Black's"—I spat his name out like it was poison—"friends all on my case."

"Calm down and go to sleep," Grace advised quietly, her voice quiet and comforting. "You'll be able to think rationally in the morning."

"If I ever do think rationally," I mumbled, pulling my covers over me. "And I like potatoes."

There was a moment's silence. "What does liking potatoes have to do with anything?" came Grace voice through the darkness.

"Nothing. That's why I said it," I shrugged. "Honestly, don't you get anything?"

"Whatever. I'm not crazy enough to listen to your ramblings. Good night."

After several moments Grace's soft, even breathing joined in the rest of the girls' breathing. She'd landed in Fluffy Dream Land. But it was a long time before I wrestled my anger away and could finally board that light, swift, cloud-like vessel that bore people off to Fluffy Dream Land, where I could escape from the real world.

A/N: Did you guys like that? Haha… I know I'm probably going to get some flames for that XD Don't be mad, please! This was a part of the plot I've been planning for a long time, and all spirals down to… well, you'll see IF YOU KEEP ON READING AND REVIEWING! D Yes… okay.

Was the argument juicy enough for you guys ; Please leave a reply! That was the major argument and if there's anything lacking, I need to fix it!

Time for the thanks! I'm sorry! I really don't have time to do individual reviews for everyone, even though I REALLY want to! I hope the chapter makes up for it… And I love all of you who reviewed! And I'll love you even more if you review AGAIN! XD

AnGeL-GiRl-XxX

Shinigami-Sama1

Chocolate-Chipps

jasmin-rose—Hehe… yes. It's not very happy. In fact, it's only going to get worse! I'm not saying more than that! AND GO AHEAD AND RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE! I love feedback. It's great, wonderful; I'm addicted on reviews!

Linnie—Hehe… I'm sorry I had to send you an email ranting about that…

Chowchow

jasmin-rose

midnight-fox-55—Thanks for caring about that!

Erin

RueNeko—Hehe… nice observation. I'm not saying if you're right or wrong… but I'm REALLY, REALLY glad you noticed that. I think you might be the only one who did (and told me about it).

Joy—Good, faithful Joy. :pats head: Nice long reviews! I EXPECT ANOTHER ONE! Lol!

rcaqua

Fayte's Edge

cindy17

BlackRoseOfMoonlight

Li'l-Red-Bandana—They already kissed! Well, not like a huge make-out session, if that's what you mean… Hehe, well, I can't answer your question right now.

watapon13

Loves A Bleeding Lie

assassin's dreamer

Elven Dagger—You have a really good point about that. I guess the Marauders wouldn't crack that easily for a few days… but I don't think I ever specified how long it had been. Yeah, their actions are exaggerated, but I was going for a more humorous view since—well, I was in the mood. XD Thanks for your feedback! It really made me step back and take another look!

Lovergirl—Well, I'm sorry you don't like A Fossil in the Mud. But I guess I can't please everyone.

pyro-2389

Rupertissexy

amanda-gurl

Sheri Dust

The Original Safety Pin

EW4eva—Hehe… I'm sorry it took so long to update!

Madderthanyou—Thanks! I'm glad you shared that with me!

Sheri Dust

Goldfish682

ballad-of-jim

xxxsapphiretearxxx—Blue Girl? Hm… never heard of it. No, Faye is my own original character that grew from a lot of drafts. Would you believe it if I told you that Faye was originally supposed to be a really shy, repressed girl who let people walk all over her? Hehe…. Well, the point I'm trying to make is I didn't copy Faye off anyone.

Under-the-Moonlight—Yes, the Animira Potion was a one-time thing. And about Leah… well, don't judge too soon!

blossomlite—Just to clear up a misunderstanding: Faye is not an Animagus. She merely made a potion that made her turn temporarily into an animal. I'm sorry if that was a bit confusing!

DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen

Of course, those of you who haven't, PLEASE check out A Fossil in the Mud, my other story! I'll get around to updating it... someday... hopefully. XD

Oh, I also have a xanga now. If you're not an author but still want to be alerted of any updates to my story, you can subscribe to my xanga account. I'll only be updating that whenever I update this! I'm planning to put some pictures of Faye and company up, but I haven't gotten around to doing any of that, so don't expect that soon! Here's the link:

http: Okay. XD