Author's Note: I normally respond to each reviewer, but because of the rules I have to stop.
But I will say massive thanks to all of you who have reviewed! I am always need the help and encouragement that you give. Please keep it up, I welcome it always, even if it is saying, "You made a mistake here!"
Thanks to my Beta Reader, the wonderful BanbieBunny, and for the thoughtful, and careful encouragement of Hawk Master.
Love Always,
The Mysterious
Jaffee Leeds
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Chapter Five
All My Life
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The breeze blew off the sea like a benediction flowing against the robes of Finwe as he joined his son's hand with Earwen's. His hair was braided formally, and a low crown graced his noble brow. I felt admiration and love for him swell in my heart.
It was difficult not to love our King, he was so noble and kind. I was honored to be here. I stood with the family for the ceremony. Beside Finwe Indis and her brother Ingwe stood tall and golden like benevolent angels. Fëanor and Fingolfin stood on Finwe's left, their dark headed bowed slightly in reverence to their Father.
"Thus are two pledged to become one. May no one say any word against this holy union." Finwe's voice intoned with solemn joy. "Who is witness to this Holy act?"
"I am witness!" Ingwe said. He strode forward and placed a hand on Finarfin's shoulder. "And I am witness!" Fingolfin said, following his uncle's example.
Finarfin nodded at his uncle and brother, Indis wiped away a tear.
Finarfin beamed proudly at Earwen, and placed a silver band on her first right finger and gently kissed the palm. She returned the gesture, tears glistening at the corners of her eyes. As they turned to the elves gathered, a shout went up. I threw my little knot of violets as a shower of betrothal flowers rained on the happy couple.
Now only one year would keep them apart and that was easily passed. Dancing and singing broke out Laurelin peaked at that moment bathing the couple in a rainbow of golden light. I sighed, it was a lovely sight.
"But my Nan loves Telperion, does she not?" Fëanor whispered, close to my ear. I felt his hand beside mine and I entwined our fingers out of sight of those around us.
"I love Telperion, yes. But there is one fire I love more even then the sacred tree." I returned. A whispered laugh tickled my ear and he pulled me around to face him. I stood under his gaze, basking in the love I saw there.
He touched a braid and said, "You still wear those combs? I made them a few years ago I believe. I could remake them much better then they are now."
"I would not have them changed." I answered, "I would have them just as you gave them to me. They were your first gift to me."
He smiled slightly and said, "I'm glad you look them so much, I like to see them in your hair." He tweaked a braid again and said, "That fiery red tint."
"Fëanor! Nerdanel! What a joyous day this is!" Finwe clapped a hand on each of our shoulders and beamed happily. "I must compliment you on some very fine rings my son." Finwe added.
Fëanor's eyes sparkled and he stood a little taller at this praise from his father. "Thank you, I wanted them to be special."
"Yes," Finwe leaned forward and whispered, "And I saw that little inscription on the inner side too."
Fëanor blushed and looked away. I glanced at Finwe and he winked saying, "He wrote, "I love Earwen as much as my hair!" Inside the band no less!"
I choked in an effort not to burst out laughing. Everyone turned to look at us as I spluttered and snorted to hold back my laughter. Fëanor red to the roots of his hair took my hand and dragged me toward the gate of the garden.
"Be back in time for the meal!" Finwe called after us. Then I blushed too, I hope that the other elves didn't get the wrong idea about us running away.
We ran along the quiet streets and passed Ecthelion's Fountain and into the lush green groves around the city. We paused to catch our breathes never releasing each other's hands.
"I like it here, it's so peaceful." I said. Fëanor nodded, "I come here when I need to think and when I visit my …. my…"
"Don't worry, I understand." I said squeezing his hand a little. He smiled as the moment of pain passed. I looked toward the art of the garden reserved for Finwe's first wife.
"Fëanor, will you take me to see her?" I asked. A light leapt into his eyes and he caught both of my hands in his.
"Would you like to see her?" he asked with the eagerness of a child. "Would you really like to see her? She is beautiful."
"Yes, I would. Will you take me?" I smiled feeling slightly giddy, I was seeing a side of Fëanor I had never encountered before.
"Gladly." He took my hands in a firmer grip and became leading toward Nienna's veil. I looked up into his handsome face seeming suddenly childlike, a young side of Fëanor. He was always the silent and sober prince of elves, never easy in manner. He was giving me something special, better then combs or kisses.
He was showing me all his weakness, and his vulnerability. He was giving me the ability to hurt him.
At that moment of understanding, I loved him better then I ever thought to love a man. But I would not cry now as my tears threatened, I would see her, who had given me what I loved best in the world.
The garden was peaceful and serene with gentle singing. Nienna was sitting amid a pool of pale violets and her tears glistened as they fell. As we came forward I felt a thrill of fear in my heart, I was afraid that I was not strong enough to see the face of death
"Curufinwe! Nerdanel. What pleasure is this? I had not looked for any company on such a joyous day." She regarded us kindly, "Why have you come?"
"Nienna, I come to see my Father's wife and my mother. I have brought Nerdanel, for I love her. And she wishes to see Miriel as well." Fëanor said, his shoulders straightened as he spoke those words, those wonderful words.
"I have brought Nerdanel, for I love her."
Nienna smiled at me through her tears and rising like a gentle mist her beckoned us to follow, "Then come children and see, She who sleeps."
It seemed as though the branches of the trees had grown together and formed a sheltering roof over Miriel's final resting place. The massive trunks of the trees, and low growing plants formed the encircling walls. Yet, soft and silent, the grass that made a lush carpet.
A raised bed stood in the middle of the grove. It was hung about with curtains of gossamer thread woven so thin it seemed that it couldn't exist, but the flicker of light shimmered and twinkled off them. Steeping before us, Nienna pulled them away like so much moonlight.
And I saw her.
Lying with her hands folded on her waist she was but a maiden. She was no older then I am now when she had faded, and her beauty was there still. Sadness sat upon her clear brow and a weariness I had never seen before clothed her figure with regret. Her raven hair pooled around her shoulders, long and uncut for thousands of years. She was beautiful.
We knelt beside her and Fëanor touched one cool hand with his own. "Amme." He whispered, 'Amme, see I have brought you my love. You are the first to know."
He looked to me tears glistening bright and clear in his dark eyes. "I wish she could have seen you, how beautiful you are."
I did not realize I was crying till the drops fell onto my hands as I held his. What pain her fading must have caused. A feeling of loss I had never known filled me and I struggled with it as I memorized her face and figure. Her youth, though hidden with a veil of sorrow, was plainly seen. She might have been a young girl sleeping ready to raise at any moment.
Her delicate mouth was one that was ever smiling and even now with no expression I could see it. Once the beloved one of Finwe, too weary to rise from her bed, leaving a son and a chilling word.
For this and all that may come after…
Yet she was not always filled with grief. I touched her hand and felt the chill of death. Nienna said, "You must go now Curufinwe. Your Father seeks you, and it would not be well for him to come here."
"Must I go? Must I leave her so soon?" He asked, his hands tightening around mine.
"Come Fëanor, we must not forget his sorrows here as well." I said. He nodded and kissed her cheek gently. We stood and Nienna let fall the curtain, "I will sing for her tonight Curufinwe, she will never truly be alone."
"Thank you Nienna." Fëanor said. Reluctantly we turned away and left the sleeping body of Miriel. Across the garden Finwe's voice as well as Fingolfin's could be heard calling us.
"We'd better hurry, no doubt they have delayed everything for us." he said, and the cool controlled face of the Prince returned. I stopped him, "Fëanor?"
"Yes, Nan?"
"Let kiss me you." I said. He looked surprised, and then he read my heart through my eyes. All the words I could not speak, he saw there. I reached up and touched his lean and chiseled features, I brushed away the few stray hairs and slowly, slowly laid my lips on his.
First he held back, but gently he relaxed into me and his arms slipped around me, holding me deliciously close to him. The breeze reached us and wrapped around us like a warm caress.
'Oh Nan." he whispered, his voice husky and shaken, "Nan…"
"Fëanor, thank you for bringing me so close to your fea."
"Nan, I cannot say what lies in my heart. But you have shown me such a love today that I had thought never to share with any." He kissed my cheek and temple and buried his face in my hair. "Take me love, one day…soon, share my life. Marry me Nan."
To my shame, I began to weep quietly. I was overwhelmed with his love. All my dreams were nothing compared with this wonderful reality.
"Why Nan? Do you not love me?" He searched my eyes again trouble creasing his brow.
"Fëanor, I have loved you all my life." I breathed.
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And when Finwe and Fingolfin came into the garden fully, they saw them. Fëanor and Nerdanel surrounded by the perfect life of Valinor exchanging declarations of love.
"Oh! Atar, I can't believe it!" Fingolfin spluttered as his father quickly dragged him away.
"What? Have you been blind all this time? Anyone could see that they were in love." Finwe said, a huge grin spread across his face.
"No, it's not that!" Fingolfin said. His blue eyes wide and annoyed looking.
"Then what is it?" Finwe asked.
"I'll be the last son married!"
