Disclaimer: I love you lawyers. I don't own anything!
A/N: You guys are simply the best. I know you aren't supposed to laugh at your own work, but after I wrote 'Brava. Brava. Baklava.' I let out a snicker. Thank you so much reviewers, especially Gigi for the constructive critiscim. You know, I am really dumb, because even though I am looking for constructive critiscsim here, I only have one chapter left to right. (I'm only giving you one per day so I can bump it up daily, lol!)
Christine, the Phantom, and the horse are moving through the labyrinths.
Horse: Moo. Baa? I mean, neigh. Yeah that's it, neigh.
Phantom: Sorry horse. We have to abandon you for a gondola.
Gondola: Moo. Baa?
Christine: Don't you find it odd that there is an electric guitar in the orchestra? (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: Sing, angel of music. Wait, aren't I the angel of music?
Christine: (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: Yep, just keep going.
Christine: (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: Once more, now.
Christine: (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH! AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: Okay I lied. Do it again.
Christine: (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: Okay, last time, I promise.
Christine: (singing) AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHHHH!
Phantom: (singing) Well, this is my pad. You've come here for one reason that I can't think of right now… wait, it's on the tip of my tongue… well, maybe you don't have a reason for being here, but I do have a reason for taking you here. Because you have a good voice. Yeah, that's it.
Then he sings Music of the Night. I can't write that whole thing, but you know what it's about.
Phantom: (showing her the mannequin) Look, it's you. Only made of plastic, which hasn't been invented yet.
Christine: (faints)
Phantom: What? Do I smell that bad? Oh well, let me put you in this nice soft bed, and here is your black curtain that can only be opened from the inside. I DIDN'T TAKE HER STOCKINGS OFF!
We now see Meg entering Christine's dressing room.
Meg: Christine? Yep, that's my only line for this whole, pointless scene.
Meg pulls aside the mirror. She enters this scary, dark, wet hallway filled with rats.
Giry: Muahaha.
Meg: What the crap? Oh mom, it's just you. You know you can be very scary sometimes.
Now we see Buquet and the ballet…people.
Buquet: Hello. I'm J. Buquet.
Ballet Girl: What, is this AA or something?
Buquet: … You mean it isn't?
Ballet Girl: Well, that explains a lot.
Buquet: I am now going to describe the Phantom. He's supposed to have thin yellow skin, and no nose, but he's actually rather handsome. He has a 'magical' lasso. (snort) Yeah right.
Giry: Muahaha.
Buquet: Why do you keep doing that!
Giry: Never mind that, but shut your pie hole, Joseph. Whatcha gonna do when the Phantom comes for you?
Back in the cellars…
Monkey: Masquerade, I am quite the freakish music box.
Christine: Where am I? (singing) I remember there were those fog machines… pretty mist on a small, narrow canal. There were some water-proof candles that came up out of the water, and on the canal there was a gondola, and in the gondola there was a dude!
Phantom: That would be me.
Christine: Who's is the face in the mask? Let's find out. (pulls off mask)
Phantom: Beep beep beep! I'm a truck in reverse! Why, Christine, why? You prying Pandora!
Christine: It's Christine.
Phantom: Well, we'd best return. Those fools who run my theater—
Christine: How can they run it if it is your theater?
Back to the land of black and white. Raoul is riding away in his car and Giry is just standing...
Raoul: (staresigh)
Translation: Sorry Giry. You could have had the stupid monkey.
Giry: (staresigh)
Translation: I will one day take revenge over you Raoul.
Now as we go inside Raoul's eye, we see the Opera house…all colorful.
Firmin: Oh dear. Roumers about the opera… they are stalking me again! AHH!
Andre: Calm down my dear Firmin! I have a note. It reads, "Dearest Andre, please, don't ever cast Carlotta again."
Firmin: I have one too! It says, "My man Firmin, where are those 20,000 francs?"
Raoul: (enters) Where is she?
Andre: Carlotta?
Raoul: No you ignorant fool, why would I ever want to know where she is? I mean Christine!
Firmin: No idea.
Raoul: Well, I have a note. It says, "I have Ms. Daae hostage, and you will never see her again."
Carlotta: Where is she?
Andre: Here we go again.
Raoul: (takes note) It says, "You won't be performing operas for long. Christine will sing now. Be prepared for a great misfortune cookie, if you try to take her place."
Firmin: Didn't we establish moments ago that we would never see her again?
Giry: Muahaha.
Andre: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?
Giry: I thought you might want to eventually know that Ms. Daae has returned. She will see no one.
Raoul: Can I see her?
Giry: No, Raoul.
Raoul: Please?
Giry: When you are old, you will be cursed with a monkey music box that you didn't want.
Raoul: …You are scary aren't you?
Giry: I have another note.
Andre: "No more Monsieur Nice Phantom. And you know the song, "Little Bunny Foofoo"? Well I'm the fairy, and I will give you once last chance. If you don't behave, I will turn you into a goon!"
We now see the Phantom and his little doll house.
Phantom: Hey. I heard that. (cough) In the new production of Il Muto, I can only pray that they will give Carlotta the silent role.
Giry: Muahaha. Do what the Phantom says.
Carlotta, Firmin & Andre open the doors to a huge crowd.
Man: Would you please give this rose to Miss Daae?
Carlotta: (pouting) Why don't people give any roses to me? I'm the freaking Prima Donna and she just started singing.
And now, what you haven't been waiting for… PRIMA DONNA.
Andre & Firmin: Prima Donna, please never sing again. We all abhor you…
Carlotta: What?
Andre & Firmin: Er… enchant us once again… we adore you…
Carlotta: That's better.
Andre: They are shouting your name!
Firmin: Um, they are shouting "Christine Daae, Christine Daae."
Andre: Oh be quiet. Would you like some more pink things?
Carlotta: No, I just want that brown furry thing. (pets brown furry thing)
Raoul: Christine spoke of an Angel…
Yeah, Raoul, she did. Did you just realize that?
Firmin: Somehow, I made it into Carlotta's dressing room. And I am now tightening her corset. Well… not as good as being in Meg or Christine's dressing room, but let's just pretend…
Giry: Muahaha. Did I mention you must at all costs listen to the Angel of Music?