Well, Driver's Training is over, so I have more time to write (and drive!)
Chapter Eight: How Much Better Can It Get?
Kei and Sho entered the small building to find that it was even smaller than it looked. There was a desk at the far end of the "waiting room" that had piles of paperwork on it along with a rather large computer; three small chairs were lined up against the far left wall with a small magazine rack next to them; a potted flower in the corner of the room and a white door next to it. All of this was crammed into a room smaller than ten by ten feet. Sho, who had entered the office behind Kei, gripped his arm in nervousness. Kei turned around slightly and grabbed Sho's arm comfortingly, flashing him a warm smile. Slowly, pulling Sho along, he approached the empty desk.
Kei peered around the edge of the desk, finding no one. Sho, and his short attention span, noticed a bell on the edge of the desk. Curious, he rang it, startling Kei. "Sho!" Kei hissed at him. "What did you do that fo—"
"Good, you're here!" a voice said from behind them. Both of them jumped and turned around. The secretary was standing there in a green tank top and blue jean shorts, very un-secretary like; her brown hair was cut short and jagged, barely reaching her chin, the very edges colored a deep red. Her brown eyes darted between Kei and Sho, then to Kei's hand that had a hold on Sho's arm. Kei released his grip quickly, clearing his throat. The secretary shrugged as though she didn't care and began to talk again. "I'm Anisa, the secretary here," she said as she walked to the desk, sitting down. Anisa began rummaging around on the top of the desk. After a few moments, she sighed in frustration. "Where are my glasses!" she said.
"…On your head…" Sho said quietly to her, trying to restrain his laughter. Anisa stared at him for a moment and then reached up to her head, grasping them and pulling them down in front of her eyes.
The evening lights, coloring the nights busy avenues,
down the street brings back memories of you.
"Thanks," she said, blushing. "I'm so frazzled, I forget where I put things." She rested her head on her hand. "Anyway, Miss Natsuko is ready to see you, so you can go on in." As Sho opened the door a crack, Anisa said, "Wait. Which one of you is Kei?"
"Me." Kei replied, smiling. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Anisa." He heard a gasp from Sho and the door click shut quietly.
"What?" he hissed at Sho as he reached for the doorknob.
"Kei—it's—"
"A monster?" Kei snapped. "I'm a monster, Sho. Come on!" He pulled open the door and stepped into the pale-blue room, dumb-founded.
"I told you," Sho whispered as he closed the door behind them.
"Have a seat, please." Miss Natsuko said. They obeyed.
"Wow." Kei said. "I never thought…you'd be running a place like this."
"Well, I can't say I'm surprised to see you two here." She replied, pulling out a clipboard.
Now I am watching, as lovers pass me by,
finding your shadows, in the views of my eyes
"That's true…" Kei said. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. So it was going to be a long night. He had never expected Miss Natsuko to actually be Kurisutina. The woman that had a major crush on him was going to be helping Sho through his psychological problem. Kei never wanted her to find out about him and Sho, but once she asked what his dreams were…
Kei sincerely hoped she couldn't put the clues together.
Sighing, he turned to Sho once Kurisutina had her back turned. "Sho," he whispered. Sho turned to look at him, his blue eyes holding fear within their depths. "This isn't good at all."
"I know," Sho whispered back. "But what can we do? I want these dreams to end."
"I know." Was all Kei could say before Kurisutina began to talk.
"Okay, so this is just a trial run tonight," she began. "Just to see if there's a solution or anything we can do to fix this problem you're having."
Now I am here, all alone
Remembering the time we used to laugh together
"There better be." Sho muttered so only Kei could hear him. Sho tightened his grip on the arms of his chair. Kei made a motion to wrap his arm around Sho's, but realized what might result since Kurisutina didn't know about their relationship.
Yet.
Kei put his arm back down, nodding apologetically to Sho, who simply smiled in return, knowing how much it pained Kei not to comfort him. Kei turned his attention back to Kurisutina, who apparently had been talking to them for a few moments.
"……Can see that you two have a deep bond," Kei caught the end of her sentence. "So, Sho. How many dreams have you had?"
"What? I don't know!" Sho said abruptly.
"No need to get upset…" she replied. "So you don't know?" Sho shook his head. "How long have you been having these dreams, then?"
"About…uhh…" Sho glanced at Kei, who mouthed 'four'. "Four months."
"Were all of them different?"
In the fall of the cold
I still think of you,
Wondering if you feel the same
"Well…there were four different scenarios…and anytime my mind repeated them, they got more visual and worse…" he suppressed a shudder.
"I see…" she scribbled some notes down on her clipboard. "Now, do you remember the first dream you had?" Kurisutina asked him.
"Yes…" Sho replied hesitantly. He did not respond right away.
"Can you…describe it for me?" Kurisutina asked.
"Well…it starts out like a normal day…" Sho began…
"Come on, Kei, spot for me!" Sho shouted over the sounds of bullets and dead bodies falling to the ground. "I need your guidance!"
"Just because you say you need it doesn't mean you don't know it!" Kei replied.
"What! What's that supposed to mean!" Sho said, turning around. Kei simply shrugged. "And thanks for your help…they're all dead now." He shot Kei a smile. "Shall we rob them?"
Kei strode forward, a mysterious smile on his face. "I thought you'd never ask…" he whispered seductively. Sho grinned in response, wondering if Kei was implying something hidden…secret…
Save, your smile for me,
even although you cry for me
Remember me and love me always
"Kei-kun…" Sho said as he pulled a wallet out of a dead man's pocket.
"Yes, Sho?" Kei said, walking over to where Sho was crouched down.
"Kei…do you…"
Sho hesitated a moment, staring up at Kurisutina, who was scribbling down notes on her clipboard. He then glanced at Kei, who was waiting for Sho to continue. Kei looked at Kurisutina to see if she was busy, and she was. Quickly, he leaned over and kissed Sho lightly. "Keep going, Sho," he muttered. "You want it to end, so keep going…" Sho simply nodded his head……
"Yes, Sho?" Kei said, walking over to where Sho was crouched down.
"Kei…do you…Do you love me?" Sho asked him. He looked up at Kei, who was thunderstruck.
"Why wouldn't I?" Kei replied, leaning down to stroke Sho's cheek. "I've known you for…almost all of your life…Why wouldn't I?" Sho grinned and leaned up into Kei's waiting kiss.
Suddenly, everything turned brighter and Kei was frozen where he stood. "Kei?" Sho said, staring at him, worried. "Kei?" Then he remembered. "KEI!" In a flash of light and a wisp of flames, Kei was gone……
"And that's pretty much the first scenario…" Sho said, ending his story.
"Okay…" Kurisutina said after a few minutes had passed. "Now, I have a few questions…"
Love, and smile for me,
Hold on to all that we had
remembering and love me again
"Shoot." Sho replied.
"Okay, now in your dream…there are a few things I need to…comprehend a little better…" she said. Kei shifted in his chair. He hoped she wasn't referring to him disappearing in a wisp of flames and light…
"Now…in the dream, Kei says he's known you for 'most of your life'…were you two orphans and were sent to different orphanages or something?" Kurisutina asked.
They both looked at each other and then it hit them.
"…And," she added. "You two……kissed…is that some kind of…brotherly symbol or something?"
"Well…um…you see…that is…uh…" Sho tried to say, but he couldn't string the words together.
"It's probably best if I explain it, Sho," Kei said, resting his hand on Sho's arm. Sho gently took Kei's hand within his own, trying not to look at Kurisutina, who was gaping. "You see, we actually aren't brothers. I—I guess I made up that excuse for reasons I can't even remember." Kei paused for a moment, wondering if he could go on. A squeeze of his hand from Sho pushed him to continue. "Well, you see, we're—we're in love with each other…"
I'm so depressed living , a quiet life now,
There is no one here, in which to hold hands,
or protect me from the cold
"We really didn't want any one to find out," Sho piped in. "Not even my own brother knows…"
"You mean you actually have a brother?" Kurisutina asked.
"Yeah." Sho replied, staring her straight in the eye. "I'm sorry we kept this from you, Kurisutina-san, but we just aren't comfortable with people knowing…at least, not yet…"
"How long…?" she asked.
"Have we "been together"?" Kei said. "About six months…"
"And…how long have you…loved each other even though the other one didn't know?"
"Since we met." They both said together.
"…I see…" She scribbled down frantic notes on her clipboard. "And have you two—well…"
"Why does that matter?" Sho snapped angrily. He really didn't want to get into his…personal life with Kei.
"It might help me…better understand your dreams, your situation internally…" Kurisutina replied.
Feeling like this loneliness will tear me apart
I am waiting and looking for you voice
To get me out of the dark
Sho sighed. "Fine. Yes."
"And…how many—"
"Twice." Sho said, trying not to scream in anger and frustration. Even Kei didn't think the meetings would become that personal. He lowered his head to conceal his red face. If he could have, he would have sunken through the bottom of the chair.
There was a long, awkward silence that followed as Kurisutina scribbled things down on her clipboard. Both Kei and Sho were feeling rather guilty that they had lied, but they also felt embarrassed. No one knew about their personal life. Kei imagined that Toshi had somewhat of a good guess, but he was still none the wiser.
"Alright, I think that's about it for tonight, you two." Kurisutina said finally after several long, antagonizing minutes. "You can go home. I'll have Anisa call and set up some more appointments, okay?"
"Okay." They both said quietly as they got up.
"See you later." She said as they closed the door behind them. As the door closed, she sighed. "That's a lot of information to absorb in one sitting…" she said to herself, staring at her clipboard. "I'm going to need a break from those two for a while."
Snowflakes fall like the tears that running down my face
I wanna hold you just one more time
I think of you night and day
Wondering if you feel the same
Out at the car, Kei had gone and sat in the car right away, but Sho stood outside in the brisk air of the night, trying to clear his mind. Sighing after a few minutes in the cold, he went and sat in the car, closing the door to find Kei with his head in his hands, leaning onto the steering wheel. "Kei?" Sho said. Kei didn't respond. "Kei-chan?" He reached over and ran his hand up and down Kei's back comfortingly.
"I hate that woman," Kei said, anger in his voice. "I mean, I despise her!" He turned and looked at Sho. "I mean—to ask questions that personal…it—it's just disgusting."
"Kei-chan, I know, I know," Sho said, leaning over and hugging Kei. "But you said it yourself that you want me to get better." He sighed. "So if this is what we have to go through…then so be it." Kei realized how brave Sho was being. He leaned over into the warm embrace.
"Alright." Kei said, pulling out of Sho's embrace. "If it means that much to you…" He kissed Sho lightly. "Then I'll put up with the embarrassment of having to be asked 'how many times have you had sex?'." Sho laughed lightly.
Being in the silence of the night
Fall into my arms and I'll hold you so tight
"When you put it that way—" Sho said, grinning a maniacal grin.
"Hell no, Sho." Kei said, knowing exactly what Sho was hinting at. "There is no way. No possible way at all that I'll—"
"Just drive, Kei…" Sho said, placing one hand on the back of Kei's head.
"Fine. But if you get any sort of perverted ideas from me just driving, I swear I'll—"
"You'll what?" Sho said, leaning over so that he was staring directly into Kei's brown eyes.
"I—I'll—I'll—" Kei's stuttering sentence was silenced by Sho's warm lips, pressing against his own. Kei somehow managed to start the car and begin to backup before Sho pulled away.
"Forget about Kurisutina," Sho said as they merged on to the freeway. "Let's do something fun, Kei."
"And what's your idea of fun, exactly?" Kei said, arching an eyebrow. He looked at Sho, who was trying not to laugh.
My kiss will guide our missing hearts
and tell me you'll love again
"You think that's the only way my mind works?" Sho asked him.
"No, that is the only way your mind works." Kei replied.
"Maybe you're the one who's perverted…" Sho said, staring out the window.
"Sho, can we just go home?" Kei asked.
"Sure…" Sho replied, smiling. "That's what I wanted to do in the first place." Kei groaned, hoping Sho wasn't implying what he thought Sho was implying. "I'm starving…" Sho said. Kei laughed hysterically, wondering what he meant by that…knowing Sho, he knew one thing could mean about ten thousand other things……
Remember me and love me always……
Lyrics are December's Love by Gackt.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY/NEW ALBUM RELEASE DAY! Although I've heard nothing but bad news about Gackt's album, I don't care. I mean, IT'S A GACKT ALBUM! SHEESH. :D
Hope you enjoyed the chapter…it's going to get sooooo much better. And the next few chapters…you're gonna need some Kleenex or something… :D You'll just have to wait and see.
Oh yeah…and happy belated birthday to You and happy definitely late birthday to Kami! I missed his birthday! ;-; I felt so bad so I paid him some homage somehow…Kami's birthday was the first of February, by the way.