Disclaimer: The recognisable characters appearing in this story are © Wizards of the Coast, Inc., all rights reserved. They are used without permission and for entertainment purposes only. No profit is being made by the author for writing this story. No infringement upon nor challenge to the rights of the copyright holders is intended; nor should any be inferred.

C

My favourite Elf

C

Ufrelyn emits a strangely strangled noise that could have been a laugh.

"What?" I want to know.

"You curse him in the name of Vhaeraun?" She asks softly, amusement still evident in her voice and only now do I notice what it is that I have actually said.

"Andy..." I try to explain, but in his moment my attention is drawn back to the more important business of the annoying Elf Lord at the door who is now entering despite Dai's half hearted protests.

"We only want to ask you a couple of questions and then we'll be on our way again. We'll be so quick, you won't even notice that we've been there."

The words are punctuated by the scraping of a chair, which indicates that Liral must have sat down at the table. So much for being quick I think miserably while my left leg already starts to tingle unpleasantly. The air in the small, dark space around us is very quickly becoming hot and stale.

"Do you know a man called old Bo?" The Elf wants to know at which both Ufrelyn and I tense instantly. If he knows this much and has come to Dai's home, why doesn't he just start turning the whole place upside down. The traces of a meal much to big for one person and the clothing scattered all around the room are very clearly showing that the Halfling was not alone here.

"Yes." Dai says shortly. There is no sense in denying it. There have to be a lot of people who are aware of their acquaintance, he seemed to know him quite well after all when he brought him along this morning.

"He's dead."

Well that's certainly a blunt way of breaking the news. I hope Dai didn't like the guy too much. I know that I didn't! I hate sweaty people who insist on groping me.

"A grey Elf was seen with him around midday. He's supposedly the last one to have met him before he was brutally murdered in his own house."

Thank you very much asshole! How dare he imply that I killed the stupid human and he even finds the time to insult me in the very same sentence! I'm nearly angry enough to burst out of the cupboard and yell at him to shut the fuck up. Ufrelyn must sense my agitation because she puts a restraining hand on my knee, well as restraining as she can get under the circumstances. The small touch calms me nonetheless and I stay where I am. Dai remains silent after this nasty accusation, but the bloody Elf still isn't finished.

"Afterwards myself and a few of the honourable members of the city watch arrested said Elf together with a Drow when they where having a conspiratorial meeting in a tavern, but they together with several other prisoners managed to evade our security and escaped after killing three guards and stealing valuable items that were locked in the prison's safe." Here he pauses for purely dramatic reasons before continuing: "The city council has put a bounty on their heads and would be extremely grateful for any information on their whereabouts."

Thank you fate you have just dropped the biggest heap of shit on me that exists in the whole universe. There has never been a price on my head before! I'd bet my shirt that Liral was behind this, so maybe I should be thanking him instead or cut his throat, which would be even better.

"What is he waiting for?" I whisper edgily. "He must know that we can't be far."

Ufrelyn manages to shrug despite our tight surroundings.

"He's always been a player that one. That's what made it such fun to steal from him."

Yes I can clearly see that. What a great idea to pass the time. Must be something out of the "worthy adversary" category that made them do it. Well besides the deal about the shape change. Stupid Drow! When Dai doesn't immediately start to relay his knowledge Liral feels compelled to elaborate.

"They would be willing to pay in gold for any hint that helps us catch these highly dangerous individuals."

Highly dangerous? How flattering. Dai remains silent. The knowledge that Kofyr is hidden somewhere in the kitchen and might get the chance to reach my friend before anybody manages to subdue him does probably play a part in this prolonged silence. Then I feel it, someone is casting a spell! The whole talk is just a manoeuvre to distract us. But before I can mention this stunning bit of news to my cupboard companion we both freeze. Damn! Is my last thought, before someone wrenches the door of our little hiding place wide open and shouts out: "Over here! I have them!"

If I could I would definitely grimace now, but my whole body remains frozen and incapable of any movement. Caught for the third time in one bloody day. I really don't want things to continue this way. All this excitement is bound to give me heart attack! Inevitably some nameless elvish Soldier drags me out by the shoulders for all the world to see. This time there is no city guard with him, but only a group of about seven elvish soldiers and the mage. Apparently Liral trusts nobody but his own entourage.

"Now what do have here?"

Yea, gloat as long as you still can. I think angrily, though how I'm going to stop him I have no idea as of yet.

"My favourite Elf."

He still doesn't believe me judging by his rather sarcastic pronunciation of the word "Elf". Too bad that I'm in no position to tell him that he is sadly mistaken if he thinks me a Drow. Only when his, and everybody else's eyes for that matter, widen slightly I realize that I'm still wearing the skirt and I can't even close my own eyes in mortification. Luckily this is the moment when they finally find Andy and Kofyr, so the general attention is drawn away from my ridiculous garments resulting in some relief on my part.

"Did you not say that there are only two?" The mage questions in surprise. Instantly the hold on my head is released and he turns to me with a suspicious look on his face.

"What is the meaning of this?"

Ah thank you so much. Now I can finally explain myself to somebody who might actually listen to what I have to say.

"I'm not a Drow." I blurt out. Yea great introduction I know, but I continue hastily to try and explain the circumstances a little better.

"We have nothing to do with whatever they did. I only met the two today and would be glad to never lay eyes on them again." And with a glare towards Liral I add: "And just to clear that up, I didn't kill the bloody human either."

"Well who did then?" The mage wants to know with a rather doubtful look.

"The priest who has the bone now."

This is met with several raised eyebrows and a deadly, dark scowl from Kofyr.

"What priest?"

"The priest they worked for." I nod in the direction of Ufrelyn and her brother, which causes the scowl to deepen and become slightly sinister, up to the point where I have to look away, because it reminds me too much of my old Master.

"And him?" The mage gestures towards Andy who is getting tied up now.

"He belongs to me."

The considerable measure of doubt I am facing here increases by the second. They don't seem very happy about my answers and Liral throws his mage an enquiring look.

"He's not lying." He gets told, which doesn't do much to soften his frown.

"Fine. Let's question the others." He decides eventually after staring at me with a rather disgusted expression for some time. I find that a bit unfair. It's not my fault that I am dressed so inappropriately after all and if he chooses to believe me to be something I am not, he really shouldn't blame me for his lack of judgemental skills.

I'm picked up rather roughly and two of the soldiers drag me towards the corner where they have already deposited Andy and Ufrelyn and start to tie my hands together behind my back despite any protests I utter. I hate this, getting tied up all the time is very bad for the circulation! Well at least I can move the rest of my body once they're finished and the bloody spell is taken off me. These men must be some kind of personal guard for the Lord, seeing as they are all Elves and quite disciplined as well as armed with very expensive looking swords that wouldn't even be remotely affordable for a simple city guard.

"Don't you think he looks a bit like Giciel?" Andy whispers as soon as we're not the object of immediate attention anymore and everybody has turned towards Kofyr.

"Who, the mage?"

"Yes."

I consider for a second.

"Nah. Only a bit around the nose maybe, but I can't really see much else. What makes you think of Giciel anyway?"

Not that I want to think about him right now. Our parting wasn't on the best of terms after I had thrown a little tantrum in his bedroom and then rushed off to barricade myself in his bathroom for an hour. Him and Andy didn't get on very well at all.

"Well he reminds me of him. That makes me think of Giciel. Logical conclusion isn't it?"

"Shut up! No talking from prisoners." The soldier next to Andy admonishes sternly and elects to back up his order with a nasty kick to Andy's unprotected side, which makes him hiss in pain.

"Stop that." I snap, forgetting for a second that I am bound and defenceless, but that only serves to anger the warrior further and he comes to stand over me now.

"Or what?" He asks with the supreme arrogance of someone who believes he did something perfectly justified by kicking a helpless prisoner. "Did I just hear you defending a Drow?"

"Yes." I reply with all the contempt I can muster and continue: "Go and kick someone who can kick you back instead of taking out your frustrations on those who cannot defend themselves."

He actually seems taken aback for a second, but then the green eyes narrow dangerously and I realize that I have gone too far. Implying in front of his comrade that his act was one of dishonour is probably not the most intelligent thing to do to a proud man and this one seems to have pride in abundance.

"Are you challenging me to a fight over him?" He still sounds a bit surprised and confused, but the first signs of anger are beginning to show. They increase drastically when I say: "No. I have no desire to fight you. I would loose anyway so there's no point."

This is nothing but the truth. I can wield a sword against Orcs or even humans, but I am in no way a match for a fully trained warrior like this one and I know it. He stares at me, his pride apparently hurt further by my refusal and I'm beginning to feel a bit exasperated. There's no need to be so fucking touchy about this! It's not like I insulted him outright or called him a bastard, even though he certainly is one in my opinion.

"So you would slaughter a human, but you don't have the guts to stand up to me face to face?"

Yea, that you would love that wouldn't you.

"Did you not listen? I said about a minute ago that I didn't kill him and your own mage told you that I spoke the truth. Which part of this incredibly complicated story did you not understand?"

Andy is nudging me discreetly trying to tell me to stop, but I'm not really in the mood to listen. The soldier in front of me is getting increasingly frustrated, but obviously has some reservations about giving me the same treatment as Andy.

"Well what the hell are you doing here anyway, running about with a bunch of criminal Drow?"

"He's a whore." Ufrelyn inserts helpfully, which makes me want to kick her now. Hard.

"Shut the fuck up!" I snap and glare at her, so hard it would probably hurt me if put just a bit more effort into it. It's too late though and all I can do is mutter: "Thank you very much you stupid cow." and watch the disgusted gazes run over my body, which is suddenly, as if by magic, turned into a entirely different thing than it was only two seconds ago. Perception can be a funny thing sometimes.