Chapter one: Don't go

Ruthie sat in a quiet little office painted a maroon color, after her suicide attempt her parents had sent her to therapy. Like this will really help!

"So Ruthie? How are you?" Dr. Grainer asked. She was young, and had blonde hair.

"Just dandy" Ruthie replied sarcastically.

"Really, sarcasm isn't needed" She smiled.

"This isn't needed" Ruthie spat.

"Ok," She folded her arms and waited silently for Ruthie to say something.

"What?" Ruthie stared at her questioningly. She shrugged her shoulders. Ruthie rolled her eyes she wasn't going to say anything. Her eyes drifted to the clock, as she watched it tick the sound magnified. All she heard was tick, tick, tick.

"Ok well are time is up, maybe next time we'll talk" She sighed.

"Doubt it" Ruthie replied snidely. She didn't want to talk to her or anyone else she was over trying to kill herself it wouldn't help anyway. She couldn't escape her pain.

Ruthie had accepted Sean was dead; she had opened up to Paige only to close up when she was sent to therapy. Ruthie sat in the kitchen thinking about why she had tried to kill herself she knew why, and if she thought it would help she would try it again. It wasn't going to help her she had realized; it had been a month since Sean's death. She had started therapy a week after; it was no use and boring. The phone rang.

"Hello?" Ruthie said monotonously.

"Ruthie?" Paige sighed.

"Hey Paige," Ruthie immediately brightened up.

"No, don't get excited," Paige, said.

"Why?" Ruthie said surprised at her friend's reaction.

"I'm moving," She sighed.

"WHAT!" Ruthie shrieked. "When?"

"In two days" Paige said quietly.

"What so soon?" Ruthie was frantic. "NO! You can't. I need you."

"I've known longer but," She stopped. "I couldn't tell you."

"Why?" Ruthie said holding back tears. "My parent's want me away from all this mess and my dad was offered a new job he had refused before the shooting but he took the job a week ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ruthie started to yell. Lucy came into the room, and stopped seeing Ruthie crying.

"I'm sorry I should have—" Ruthie cut her off.

"Your right. I can't believe your leaving me!" Ruthie hung up on Paige.

"Who?" Lucy asked.

"Paige is moving" Ruthie cried. "It's not fair" Ruthie sat down.

"So your mad at her?" Lucy asked.

"You don't understand!" Ruthie said.

"Yeah your right I don't, because you won't let anyone understand!" Lucy said. "What's your problem everyone wants to help you and you won't let them!"

"I don't want your help! I don't want you to understand! I need Paige—" Ruthie said.

"Yeah well she's leaving—" Ruthie got up and stormed out. "So you could just talk to me," Lucy screamed after her.

It pierces hard
Trickles down my spine
I sit here and die
I cry for you to come back to me
Why I ask? You but you don't say
You'll just look and walk away
So stay with me don't leave me behind
I had no choice in your decision
So here I lie making this incision
God I pray to save me now
For my soul is going down

Ruthie found herself in that oh so familiar park, she had come here when she called Sean that night she told him. She came here when she tried to kill herself now she found herself here again. Crying on that same bench, don't go! Paige I need you! Ruthie sighed, she was trying to make sense of nothing she could comprehend, and it only made her head spin. The wind blew, and she felt someone's arm touch her shoulder she looked up and saw Paige smile down at her.

"I don't want to go" Paige said sitting down.

"I know, I don't want you too" Ruthie said.

"I'm not dying" Paige smiled. Ruthie rolled her eyes. "You should tell someone. Then maybe you wouldn't feel so alone when I leave, maybe you wouldn't have felt so alone when Sean left?"

"Your right I know you are but I just can't," She stared hard at Paige, and just nodded her head. They sat there accepting that one of them would be gone in a couple of days. Ruthie didn't want to accept it but she knew she had to.