See Chapter One for full disclaimer and author's notes.

Chapter Ten

Daniel stood pacing outside the doors to the infirmary, and not for the first time glanced down the hallway toward the bank of elevators at its end, wondering why Jack wasn't there. Finally his agitation with his friend got the better of him and he said as much aloud.

"Where the hell is he? He should be here, not down in his office doing meaningless paperwork."

Teal'c inclined his head and raised a brow. "If you are referring to O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, I do not believe he feels as though his duties to the SGC are meaningless."

"Yeah, well, either way he should be here."

"I do not believe Colonel Carter would agree, Daniel Jackson. They both take their duties very seriously. She would not react kindly to O'Neill allowing his to be pushed aside if all he would be doing instead is sitting on an uncomfortable chair outside the infirmary."

"I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one Teal'c. I've never understood that 'duty and honor above all' mindset. I doubt I ever will."

"I believe you are right, Daniel Jackson. And I hope you never do understand it in the way O'Neill and Colonel Carter do."

Daniel snorted softly, but held his tongue, turning to lean against the doorframe leading into the infirmary, training his gaze through the narrow window to glimpse just the barest edges of Sam's bed and the hive of activity that surrounded it. The image of Sam lying unconscious at the base of the Stargate as he and Teal'c had fled through the wormhole was something for which he didn't think he would ever be able to fully atone. Sam was one of his closest friends, more like a sister. Leaving her behind fractured something in him that he was just beginning to grasp. He knew Sam wouldn't blame him for what he had done; she had ordered it, after all. But forgiving himself would be much harder.

The sound of the elevator doors opening and booted feet rounding the corner reached his ears and Daniel pulled his eyes away from the infirmary to see Jack walking toward them, looking more exhausted than Daniel had seen him in quite some time. Daniel's anger still simmered in his gut, but he wisely decided to let it go, for now. This was hardly the time for harsh words.

Jack rounded the corner and felt Daniel's eyes on him. Knowing the younger man as well as he did, Jack could guess what was on the archaeologist's mind, and right now he didn't have the strength to argue with him. Hoping to avoid a confrontation, Jack instead addressed himself to Teal'c.

"Any word yet?"

"Not yet, O'Neill."

Jack nodded before dropping wearily into a chair, running his hands through his short hair and across his face. Mildly surprised that rather than berate him for his absence, Daniel instead silently turned his attention back toward the infirmary. The tension in the younger man's shoulders bespoke his anger, but Jack was pathetically grateful he was keeping it to himself for now.

They had only been waiting for a few minutes when Daniel stepped back from the doors. "Doctor Brightman's coming."

Jack rose to his feet, nervous anxiety knifing through his gut as he tensed, expecting the worst, praying for the best.

Doctor Brightman pulled the sterile gloves from her hands as she pushed through the doors to face the three men in the outer hallway. "General, Daniel, Teal'c," She greeted, before gesturing toward the chairs. "Let's sit down for a minute and talk."

Daniel and Teal'c took seats to Jack's right and left, an unspoken gesture of support that was not lost on the General.

"So, what's the prognosis, Doc?"

Brightman wasted no time getting right to the point. "Colonel Carter suffered a very serious burn to her right calf from the initial staff blast. She has a bump on the side of her head that is likely from her fall doesn't appear to be severe and hopefully won't pose any long term problems. What has me worried is the infection. The leg wound went untreated a good deal longer than we would like and the infection is one that may or may not respond to normal antibiotic therapy. We simply don't know what kinds of bacteria she may have been exposed to on the planet. Right now our hope is that she will respond to the medication, but the fact that she is still unconscious is a concern."

"So what do we do next?" Jack asked, unease coloring his voice.

"Start her on broad spectrum antibiotics until the lab can give us a better idea what we're dealing with. Sir, this infection isn't the only thing to be concerned about."

Panic lanced through his chest and Jack's eyes widened perceptibly. "What else's wrong, Doc?"

"Colonel Carter's body shows signs of repeated physical abuse. We only did a cursory exam for now, but she has multiple bruises and contusions on her face and torso that may indicate internal trauma. We won't know for sure until we can get her into CT and have a look at her belly and get a better idea about the severity of her head injury. But all of that taken together with the fever from the infection that may explain her lack of consciousness."

The color drained from Jack's face as one of his worst fears was realized. Abused was such a politically correct term for tortured. Sam had been tortured, physically and likely mentally as well. He himself knew all too well the horrors Ba'al could inflict on those he had captured. But Sam was a woman, and the torture she suffered may have gone beyond even what he had endured. As much as it sickened him to even think about it, he had to ask; had to know.

"Doc, was there any other signs of um…any other….ah…" Jack trailed off, unable to frame the words aloud.

Doctor Brightman was perceptive enough to know what he meant. "As you know, Sir, as we added more women to the expeditionary teams, we prepared protocols to deal with these types of situations. I have not yet had time to perform a thorough examination on Colonel Carter. But per those protocols, I will do so just as soon as her condition allows."

Jack nodded weakly, nausea clawing at the back of his throat. "Okay. Okay."

"I will report any findings just as soon as I am able, Sir. We'll be moving the Colonel down to CT in a few minutes. Those tests will likely take an hour or so and then we'll bring her back up to the ICU. By the time you finish your debriefing we should be ready to let you all in to see her. In the mean time, the physician's assistants are ready to complete your post mission physicals."

As Doctor Brightman pushed herself to her feet, Jack rose from his chair as well. "Thanks, Doc."

"Yes, Sir." Doctor Brightman turned to face the three men standing before her. "I'm not going to pull any punches here, gentlemen. We've got a long road ahead of us and there are likely going to be setbacks along the way. This infection is no small matter. It could clear up in a few days, or it could just as easily be fatal."

"Carter'll be fine," Jack said, immediately, his tone brooking no argument. "Don't worry about that, Doc."

"I hope you're right, Sir," Doctor Brightman replied, tucking her hands into her jacket pockets and turning to re-enter the infirmary.

Jack cast his eyes down at his boots, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, sighing deeply.

"Jack, what did she mean, protocols for women on expeditionary teams?" Daniel asked tentatively, but he had a horrible sensation he knew what it entailed.

"Daniel, I think you know what she meant," Jack replied quietly.

Daniel paled slightly, bile rising into his throat. "You don't actually think Ba'al…"

"I don't know, Daniel. That's what the protocols are for. We have to know for sure. If she was…well, we have to know."

Swallowing hard, Daniel nodded gravely. "You're right, we do."

"I'll see you both at the debrief. 1700."

As Jack turned and headed into the infirmary, Teal'c came to stand at Daniel's side. "I am unclear about these protocols for female team members, Daniel Jackson."

"Jack is afraid Sam may have been…sexually assaulted," Daniel replied, his voice rough with emotion.

"I see. And you fear for her mental well being, if that was the case?"

"Yes and no. Actually I'm more worried about what he'll do if the answer is yes."

"Indeed."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

The debriefing was a subdued affair. Colonel Reynolds delivered his report with his usual thoroughness and efficiency, briefing the General on his version of events from the point where they exited the Stargate until they returned to the SGC.

"So, what about this weapon, Daniel? You said before the Jaffa mentioned a test at the end of a cycle, or something. How much time do you think that gives us?"

"I'm really not sure. It could be they were referring to the lunar cycle on P7X-035, or they could have been referring to the lunar cycle in some other planet in a completely different solar system. If it was -035, then according to the boys down in the lab who analyzed the malp telemetry, they figure we have about four and a half to five Earth weeks to get back there and disable the weapon before they use it."

"And did you actually hear them say they were going to test it on Earth?"

Daniel thought for a moment, concentrating on his memories of the overheard conversation. "Actually, no, I didn't. They never mentioned Earth specifically. But can we take that chance, Jack?"

The General sat back in his chair. "No, we can't. We have to assume they intend to use it either on Earth or against one of our allies. The Tok'ra or the Free Jaffa. Either way, we have to destroy it. Even if they aren't planning on using it here for this test, it's only a matter of time before they turn the damn thing on Earth. We have to take it out while we have a chance. Colonel Reynolds, how long do you think it will take to plan and mount a full scale strike against that facility?"

Reynolds unconsciously sat up straighter in his chair, "I'm going to need Doctor Jackson and Teal'c to draw up the layout of the temple and the surrounding terrain, as best they can recall. Once we have an idea what it's like inside, we can better plan an attack. But Sir, for the best chances of success, we'll need to know what Colonel Carter may have seen or heard while she was inside. She escaped from there, Sir. She may have intel vital to the success of any strike mission."

"Yes, well…right now we don't know when the Colonel might be able to debrief us. Assume for now she is unavailable and proceed accordingly."

"Yes, Sir. I'll have a preliminary report for you by tomorrow afternoon."

"Daniel, Teal'c, draw up what you remember about -035 ASAP. Details count here. I want to be sure we cover all our bases on this one. We can't afford to screw this up," Jack said, rising to his feet. "Dismissed."

Jack turned and headed for his office, closing the door behind him. He knew Daniel was still upset with him, could feel the tension during the briefing, but he didn't have time to dwell on that now. Sitting down to take a few minutes to clear the last of the requisitions and urgent memos from his desk, Jack dumped them all into his out bin for Walter to deal with and then headed down to the infirmary.

He hadn't heard from Doctor Brightman as of yet, and hoped that in this case, no news was good news. Arriving on level 21, Jack fought the dread that built up in his belly with each passing step. It wasn't as though he hadn't known something like this could happen; that either of them could be injured in the line of duty. But the possibility of capture and torture was something he hadn't let himself imagine; the consequences were now staring him square in the face and he had been the first to look away.

Pushing through the doors to the infirmary, Jack walked toward the far corner of the spacious room. As one of his last acts as commanding officer of the SGC, General Hammond had approved a restructuring of the infirmary facilities, including a new intensive care unit equipped to treat not only SGC personnel but also any injured Tok'ra or Jaffa who may find themselves under the SGC's care. Nicknamed the 'Hammond Wing', the medical staff had been like kids with a new toy when the wing had opened last month. This was the first time the unit had housed a patient, a distinction he hardly thought Sam would appreciate.

The intensive care unit held two beds in a roughly semi-circular room. The far corner of the infirmary formed the rear of the room. The outer walls were constructed of glass to allow the nurses constant view of their patients. The unit had been set up with all the equipment that could be found in the best hospitals in the world, enabling the staff to deal with virtually any eventuality.

A small nurse's station had been set up just outside the doors of the unit and it was there that Jack found Doctor Brightman briefing the nurses on staff. Daniel and Teal'c sat in the visitor's chairs just to one side of the station. Whether they were waiting for him to arrive, or waiting for the Doc to give them to green light to go in and see Sam, Jack wasn't sure.

"Keep me apprised of any changes in the Colonel's condition. I want to know immediately if her temperature spikes or there are any changes in her heart rate or respiration."

"Yes, ma'am," they replied, turning to attend to their duties.

Doctor Brightman noticed Jack standing a short distance away, staring through the glass walls of the ICU at Sam's pale figure lying impossibly still between the crisp, white sheets. Jack watched as the lights on the monitors winked on and off in an incomprehensible language. All he knew is that so long as those lights continued to blink, Sam was alive and there was still hope.

"General O'Neill, I was just on my way to make my report."

"Doc," Jack acknowledged. "How's she doin'?"

Catching a glimpse of Daniel and Teal'c rising to their feet to join the conversation, Doctor Brightman nodded toward her office. "Why don't we talk in there, Sir."

"Doc, please, just tell me what you know," Jack said determinedly, his frustration suddenly rising up. "I don't want to sit down, I don't want to be more comfortable. I just want to be brought up to speed on Carter's condition."

"Yes, Sir. The lab results aren't back yet, but her CT scans show no evidence of any severe internal injuries or head trauma. She does have a mild concussion and several bruised ribs, but neither should pose any long term problems. The infection continues to be our main concern. Her body temperature has risen to 103 degrees and so far we've been unable to bring it down. I believe it's the infection that's putting a strain on the rest of her system, preventing her from regaining consciousness."

"How long do you think it'll be before she wakes up?" Daniel asked worriedly.

"There's no way to be sure. She could wake up in an hour, or a day, or a week."

"Or never," Jack supplied, his voice a bare whisper.

"Or never," Brightman confirmed.

"And what about…the rest?" Jack asked, his voice low as though he were afraid of the answer.

"I performed a complete examination on Colonel Carter, Sir. I found no evidence of any abuse not already reported."

The relief that poured through him threatened to take his legs out from under him and for a moment Jack was lightheaded with it. Dropping his chin to his chest he blew out a breath and sank down into the nearest chair.

"Jack, you okay?"

"Yeah, Daniel. Fine. Go ahead Doc."

"Well, for now we monitor her condition. Provide whatever support she might need over the next few days. The key right now is to get a handle on this infection and get her fever down."

Jack nodded his understanding. "Can we see her now?"

"Of course, Sir. But please, only two of you in her room at a time. We need to have room for the nurses to work."

"Okay, we can do that."

"Why don't you and Teal'c go in first, huh? I can wait." Daniel offered, his gaze flitting nervously away from Jack's.

Jack drew in a deep breath, steeling himself and then pushed himself to his feet and turned toward the ICU doors. Reaching out an unsteady hand, Jack rested his palm momentarily on the cool metal of the door handle before he grasped it and pushed down, disengaging the latch and pushing the door open.

He thought he had prepared himself to see Sam up close, but that first sight of her lying ghostly pale, unmoving, her body tethered to IV lines and monitors staggered him and Jack nearly retreated out of the room. Teal'c lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder; pulling a deep breath into his lungs and blowing it back out, Jack drew on the strength of the man at his side and crossed the short distance from the doorway to Sam's bedside.

Looking down at her bruised, drawn face Jack's chest tightened painfully and he gripped the side rails tightly, attempting to center himself. With a shaking hand, Jack smoothed the hair back from Sam's sweat dampened forehead, allowing his hand to rest briefly on her cheek before reaching down to grasp her hand in his.

"Oh Sam. What'd they do to you?" Jack whispered brokenly, his throat closing, choking him.

Jack could sense Teal'c standing at his elbow, his silent presence oddly calming. The Jaffa simply stood, his hands clasped behind his back, his face an unreadable mask. They stood there for several minutes, side-by-side, neither speaking. Finally Teal'c broke the silence.

"Samantha is an incredibly strong person, O'Neill. She will recover from this."

"Damn straight."

"Shall I leave, allow Daniel Jackson some time with you?"

"Sure, T."

Teal'c inclined his head and turned to leave, but Jack's voice pulled him back just before he reached the door.

"T?"

"Yes, O'Neill?"

Jack lifted his head, his eyes locking with the Jaffa's. "Thank you."

Teal'c inclined his head again, then left silently, leaving the door slightly ajar. Daniel appeared in the doorway, making his way to Sam's bedside opposite Jack. He reached out and took up her other hand, grasping it lightly within his own.

"Hey Sam. How ya doin' huh?" Daniel said softly. "Why don'cha open your eyes for us, okay? We're all here waiting for you." Seeing Sam looking so vulnerable weakened his resolve to stay strong and Daniel felt the beginnings of tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

"I never should have left her there."

It was whispered so quietly that Jack wasn't sure what Daniel had said. "What?"

"I never should have left her, Jack. I left her behind. This is my fault."

"Daniel, this is not your fault. You did what Sam expected you to do, follow her orders and bring critical intel back to us. I know she doesn't blame you for anything that happened after that. Neither do I."

"Yeah, well, I blame me, Jack. I blame me."

"And if you had stayed, what? What?" When Daniel simply stared at him, Jack continued. "I'll tell you what, you'd be lying in that bed right beside her, that's what. Or worse, you could be dead. And if you had disobeyed orders and stayed behind, Teal'c would've too. Then where would Earth be? Unaware of the weapon Ba'al had waiting for us. We'd be sittin' here, big, fat, dumb, and happy, totally oblivious to what was about to happen."

Deep down, Daniel knew Jack was right. But knowing it and feeling it were two different things. He would never feel right about what he had done on -035. Never.

"How can you say that, Jack? Seeing her like this, how can you honestly say that?" Daniel whispered accusingly.

"What do you want from me, Daniel? What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing Jack. I don't want you to say anything."

"She did what she had to do. What her country and her planet demanded of her. I don't blame her for that. And neither should you."

Daniel's head snapped up, a shocked look painted on his face, but he couldn't deny what he was feeling. If Sam hadn't been so adamant about doing her duty, she wouldn't be here now and he wouldn't be facing the loss of yet another person he loved. He simply didn't think he could face it again.

"I will never understand this Jack. I will never understand the willing sacrifice of even one life."

"You may not understand it, Daniel. But you will have to live with it. Just like I will."

Daniel shook his head. "I don't want to argue with you, Jack. Not here. I'm going to go out and wait with Teal'c." Bending down, he placed a feather light kiss on Sam's forehead. "I'll be back to see ya later, Sam."

Gently laying her hand back down on the bed, Daniel turned and quietly exited the room, leaving Jack alone with his guilt and grief.

TBC….