Ok so here is another chapter please tell me if you don't like I really hope you do I think my writing is getting stronger. Oh and just to say I do not own any of the characters except for Dr. Grainer and Alex.

Chapter three: Death is just a permanent goodbye

Ruthie stood next to her best friend hand in hand she squeezed it as tight as she could, till her knuckles turned white and tears came to her eyes. Ruthie stared at Paige amazed she was actually leaving her.

"I'll be back," Paige cried.

"Really?" Ruthie sighed.

"I'm not dying Ruthie I'm just moving, you can see me again without suicide" Paige joked through tears.

"Yeah, that's true your just moving to Pennsylvania" She cried. Ruthie stared at her best friend she knew her deepest darkest secret she was keeping her sane and now she was leaving.

"Ruthie?" She said.

"How will I survive without you Paige?" Ruthie said holding back her tears. "You know I need you!"

"I know, I actually need you too" She said choking up, Paige smiled at her and Ruthie tried to smile back.

"I wish you weren't going," She said lowering her head letting her tears drop to the ground. Paige knew those tears were for her and Sean she knew Ruthie felt She was dying on her as well.

"This isn't permanent, I promise I will call you and your coming out there" Paige said reassuring her disheartened friend. "Your secret is and always will be safe" Paige winked at her.

"Thanks Paige I'll miss you" She said tears now streaming down her cheeks.

"Paige!" Mr. Michalchuk called. "We have to go now honey" Paige stared at Ruthie hugging her one last time. Ruthie held on like she would never let go, she finally released her and watched as Paige slowly walked away. She fixated her eyes on Paige as she got in the car, She waved goodbye to her best friend as she drove off. Ruthie stood there feeling empty and alone as she watchedtheir car disappear over the horizon.

Dear Diary,

She is gone, who knows if I will ever see her again. I know this is supposed to only be see you later but it feels like goodbye. I waited a long time in her driveway staring where her car had been only a few minutes ago. I wanted her back the moment she drove away; I wanted her back before she left. Is there a reason she had to go? I doubt there is a reason to anything anymore. The only reason is to make my life more miserable then it already is. She is everything to me Sean was everything to me do you take away everything I love? Everything that means something to me? Am I never going to be happy again? Why did Paige have to go, we needed each other I didn't just need her she needed me but once again she is ripped from hands just like Sean. Why must you torture me? Is for your own expense am I dispensable? Is my life of no meaning to you that you can play with my emotions and me like I was a doll? Is that what the O mighty God does? Is he a foolish child playing with their toys? Or has Satan just begun to rule and is destroying my life first?

Ruthie was silent all day as she thought about Paige she missed her already and she had been only gone a few hours. Losing Paige made Ruthie think of Sean, and tears raced to her eyes. Ruthie had been trying not to think about Sean because she could only imagine him lying on the ground, her head on his lap covered in blood screaming for him to wake up. Thinking about it made Ruthie shiver from the reminder of his painful death. Ruthie glanced up at the photograph she found in his house, it was a sweet reminder for her how much he really cared for her. Ruthie sighed as she stared at the photograph of the two kissing. Ruthie lay there staring at the ceiling, she was exhausted but she couldn't even think of sleep. Just then Ruthie heard the phone ring, she waited for someone to answer it but nobody did. Ruthie finally picked it up hesitantly.

"Hello?" someone said, Ruthie felt shivers run up and down her spine, as her body grew cold. She couldn't speak or breathe she lost every movement every thought. Her mind was racing with thoughts none of which made any sense to her. This isn't possible it can't be! Ruthie finally snapped back to reality, and slammed the phone down on the receiver. She felt her whole body shaking from head to toe; she felt those tears pour down her face. She reached for the phone to call Paige when she realized she couldn't she was gone. Ruthie was terrified as she thought about the voice that now echoed through her head as she thought about the voice that now ringed in her ears as she thought about the voice that controlled her nightmares. Why now? Ruthie couldn't help wonder why her nightmares were coming true how this was possible.

Ruthie sat there silently listening to the phone ring again, and again. She cringed every time she heard it ring at thought of who was calling. She finally heard it stop ringing, and she let out a deep breath she was still shaking all over and she was nervous. She could only feel herself drowning in that ocean again, being dragged under by the numerous waves of fear. Nothing she did or said got her out of it she just sat there shaking waiting for the phone to ring again, hoping it wouldn't.