Chapter four: Unreal
The poetry is mine please do not take!
Ruthie sat on her bed shaking. That's not possible! This isn't happening! The voice was being played over and over again in her mind. She picked up the phone to call Paige, but stopped. She realized Paige had moved. Ruthie broke down crying, why was he tormenting her. The voice was haunting her thoughts, crashing down on her like wave after wave. She felt scared of herself.
Ruthie got up she had lost control of herself, she felt like she was watching herself from the outside. She ran out of the house and kept walking she didn't understand where she was going, or what she might do. Everything blurred and she only concentrated on her thoughts as she kept walking. Thoughts raced through her mind faster then she could comprehend. When she finally got there she felt like her brain shutdown, she didn't know what she was doing.
"So, why'd you come Ruthie?" Dr. Grainer asked. Ruthie snapped out of her daze and realized where she was.
"I was scared," Ruthie said. She couldn't control what she was saying she felt conflicted in that she wanted to tell but at the same time didn't.
"Of?" She asked.
"Hurting myself…" Ruthie whispered.
"Well, I'm glad you came" She said. "Why were you scared of hurting yourself?"
"Cause…" Ruthie stopped she didn't know what to say.
"Yes?" She said. She waited for her to answer Ruthie stared at her as though struggling to answer. "You can tell me Ruthie"
"I… I…" She stumbled on her words, trying to piece together her thoughts. "he called" She finally said. As soon as she did she regretted it though. She felt herself being pulled into a dream.
"Who?" She asked. Ruthie stared blankly at her as though terrified. "Ruthie" She waved her hand in front of her face. Ruthie screamed tears streaming down her face. She jumped up.
"Ruthie?" She asked trying to calm her down.
"No…" Ruthie cried her voice barely above a whisper. She was in hysterics.
"Ruthie what happened?" she asked. Ruthie had drifted into a daydream that scared her.
"I…got…to…go…" She sobbed.
"Wait" she said.
"Ruthie what happened?" she said sternly.
"I…I saw…" She sat down sobbing. She had to tell her or she would be terrified, she knew if she didn't tell her she would go home and do something stupid. "I can't…I got to go" She got up crying.
"Ruthie please? What is it?" she asked but Ruthie left. "Damn it Ruthie wait." Ruthie was gone she left the office and kept walking with tears streaming down her face her sense stayed behind though trying with Dr. Grainer. Ruthie didn't go home se kept walking as she had known she was not going to go home. If she could help it she would never go home again. Ruthie couldn't deal and she didn't know what to do her mind and body wouldn't listen to her. If I won't listen to myself I cant help myself. If I can't help myself then I might as well die.
Gunshots rung in her heart
Reality playing over as a nightmare
Bitter taste stung in her mouth
Her heart rusted and decayed
Love ripped forever from her
Identity forever labeled, Raped
She cries herself to sleep
She lies awake at night
But now she lies there dying
Because she can't escape