Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or almost anything in this one-shot.
Author's Note: Hello everyone! This is to all my reviewers for getting my story (Prep and Punk) over 100 Reviews! This is a very exciting turn of events so I decided…why not thank you folks with a one-shot, eh? My beta (Mai) and I will be co-writing this lovely one-shot so enjoy and continue to review! Another surprise is that this one-shot is one of many random one-shots we are going to write, since we are making an arc of one-shots. Also, you folks will see 'brunet', this is the masculine form of 'brunette'. Just to let people know if they already didn't know.
Pairings: Leon X Cloud
Warnings: Mild/Strong Language, sexual situations, and sidesplitting humor.
Enjoy!
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Day In and Day Out: Episode 1
" First you give us the Continuum Transfunctioner and THEN we give you the pleasure."
"I've heard THAT before."In the dimly lit apartment that a certain stoic individual owned, the said individual stared, impassively at the little television set that was placed in a modest-sized entertainment center inside the living room. Frowning, the brunet reached for the remote and grasped it in his hand, turning off the VCR and flipping through channels.
Why does Cloud like that movie? It was the stupidest thing I've ever laid my eyes on. That only means I won't listen to him because he's just as stupid and he has horrible taste in everything.
Finding a channel that was going through commercials at the time, Leon rested the remote at his side and sighed, watching what he thought was a terrible and lame 'Victoria's Secret' commercial.
Now if Cloud were in one of those thongs…
Flushing at the thought, Squall quickly grabbed the remote and changed the channel once again.
"Teletubbies! Teletubbies! Say Hello!"
What the hell…
Deciding to just forget about watching anything and remaining ultimately bored, Leon sighed, leaning back into the couch. When will Cloud be home?
Looking to the VCR for help, it read in little digital letters: '5:02'
Another hour…damn it…next time I'll take a day off when we're both off…
"Whatever…" Closing his eyes, Leon inhaled deeply.
At least it's quiet…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Leon opened one eye, frowning. Why did the dryer have to be so loud? As the beeping continued, Leon growled, rolling his eyes in frustration.
I'll never let that stupid blonde pick a new dryer ever again. Whenever he picks something it's annoying and I'm ABOUT to go insane if this sound continues!
Knowing the noise wasn't going to stop anytime soon, Leon pushed himself off the couch, sluggishly pacing toward the small laundry room. Always something to ruin my day off...
The brunet practically slammed his hand down on the off button, smirking as the infernal noise stopped completely. Leon pulled the white lid up and grabbed a plastic basket on the washer, filling it up with different sets of clothes, from shirts to socks, from pants to underwear…
Underwear…wait…what the hell are these doing here?
Picking up his discovery, Leon frowned, one brown brow rising in the process. In his hand was a pair of granny panties that he had bought Cloud for his birthday…it was just a simple gag gift…
"Why haven't I seen Cloud wearing these before?" It was true, Leon had never once seen the blonde wear his gift, so why put it in the wash?
Knowing him, he put them in there just because he didn't want to put them in his underwear drawer…please…I need to stop thinking about underwear.
Throwing the granny panties on top of the clothes pile and gripping the last handful of clothes, Leon closed the dryer with his elbow and set the hand full of clothes on top of the panties, carrying the pile out with two hands.
Why the hell am I the maid when Strife is gone? Is there a reason every time I'm off that I'm the one cleaning for my filthy roommate? Well, one thing's for certain…Strife will pay…
Grumpily, Leon plopped down on the sofa, grunting as he sat on the remote. Television flashing on, Leon shifted his body over so he could get the remote. As he grasped the device in his hand, Leon's brows furrowed, eyes narrowing.
Ay payita mia, guardate la poesia
Guardate la alegria pa'ti…
There on the screen was no other than the Spanish Diva Shakira all covered in a black gooey substance and all Leon could think of was Cloud, in that same substance shaking his body like she did to him…and it was so seductive…
Just thinking of Cloud like that made Leon tense up.
Shit…when is Cloud getting home!
Looking at the clock it read: '5:34'
Damn the time…I have to get this image of him out of my head.
Just as Shakira popped her hips seductively towards Leon, the said brunet changed the channel, sighing in relief when two Moogles appeared on screen.
"Hello boys and girls, kupo!" The fatter Moogle said and did a little happy dance. "Today on Moogle Tales, we'll be learning about love and compassion!"
If Strife doesn't come home soon, I'll show some love and compassion with my damn hand…
Gingerly placing a hand to a temple, Leon shook his head. Everything in his life was about Cloud for some reason.
Especially the great sex. That was a plus.
Starting on the clothes as he listened to the Moogles sing and dance, Leon placed each set of clothing in its designated pile, wondering why the hell he was listening to such nonsense in the first place.
At least Cloud wasn't there to make fun of him…
Speaking of Cloud, Leon unconsciously picked up the blonde's gag gift and sighed, staring at it.
Why haven't I seen these on him before!
It clearly confused the brunet…he knew every pair of Cloud's underwear and what he had worn before…he would have known if he wore it…
Cloud…
Closer and closer the hand that held the underwear neared until it was under his nose. Glancing from side to side, Leon leaned in and…
SNIFF. SNIFF.
"It's like he's here with me…"
SNIFF. SNIFF. SNIFF.
"Leon! I'm home!" Hearing the door slam, the said brunet was too slow as Cloud strolled in, smug grin on his face.
But quickly that changed…
Into an expression of horror…
"What the HELL are you doing Leon?" The blonde stood there, frozen. He didn't know if he should laugh or keep his mouth shut. He watched Leon tense up, underwear still under his nose and a small blush across his cheeks.
Shit…how am I going to explain this?
"I love you!
Moogles love you too!
Let's share the love and have fun too!
Hugs and kisses! We're friends forever!
Let's sing and dance! Come on, you do it too!
We love you! We'll see you soon! Bye-Bye!"
Cloud's head slowly turned towards the television set and a small smile twitched on his face, until the blonde couldn't help but laugh as the Moogles danced and waved a good-bye to the viewers. As if in slow motion, Cloud turned back to his roommate and then back to the TV, grinning.
"When did you start watching Moogle Tales? Did my wittle Squally start to feel like a kid when I was gone?" Clutching his sides, Cloud began to double over with laughter and Leon just shot him an icy glare before standing up, an embarrassed blush adorning his cheeks.
"Whatever…" Throwing the underwear at Cloud, Leon picked up the basket of clothes and was about to head toward the laundry room, when a body trapped him, pushing him against the wall. He grunted and narrowed his gunmetal eyes at the blonde. "What the hell are you doing?"
The blonde smirked, pressing his body closer to the clearly enraged brunet. There were two things Leon didn't like.
One: Being embarrassed.
And…
Two: Cloud laughing at him…it just didn't seem right…
Unless of course, Leon was trying to make Cloud laugh…
But what were the odds of that?
"Leon…I haven't seen you all day…" Fingertips grazing against his white shirt, Leon shuddered, though his glare was still icy.
He wouldn't go down without a fight…
"Cloud…" Pushing the blonde away (and missing the hurt expression on his face), Leon walked into the laundry room, dropping the basket onto the top of the washer, but as he turned…
Cloud was giving him that look…
Shit…
"Leon…" The need in his lover's voice, sent shivers through Leon's veins, even though he didn't show it. "Leon…take me…"
Fucking shit…
Rolling his eyes, Leon shook his head, his mane of brown locks shifting to and fro as he did so.
"No…" As Leon said this, he brushed past his shocked lover and headed towards the sofa, sitting down, silently. Remote in hand, Leon flipped through the channels, smirking.
One…two…three…
"Leon…" Hearing the blonde shuffle in with a look of defeat on his face, Leon couldn't help but snicker softly, knowing that he had indeed won this battle.
This is how it should be…
Leon patted the spot next to him and Cloud quickly complied, swiftly jumping onto the couch, making the clothes sitting on the edges fall to the floor. Wide-eyed, Leon looked to the blonde and saw that he was grinning as if he had something planned.
Okay…he better pick up those clothes…
Next thing he knew Cloud was on top of him, grinning like a hungry beast and Leon knew he couldn't stop the blonde…
…that or he didn't want to…
"Just tell me one thing Leon…" Leaning his head towards the other's ear, Cloud purred and ran a hand down the brunet's shirt. "How would you like to see me in these?"
Flashing the pair of granny panties in front of the brunet's face, Leon growled, pulling Cloud into a passionate kiss. The blonde smirked, breaking the kiss off and dropping the panties on top of the brunet's face. Leon removed them and grasped them in his hand, giving Cloud a confused look.
The blonde couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry Leon…I'm giving those to Grandma." Getting up, Cloud shrugged and began to walk away. "I don't think Grandma would like the smell of sex on it."
Fuming, Leon scowled, looking at the underwear and then toward the retreating blonde.
Oh no you don't…
He would see Cloud in this stupid pair of underwear…
…until he took it off that is…
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Ah! Leon has a fetish for underwear! What is the world coming to? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.
Things to point out:
1. I don't own pretty much anything in this one-shot. The first two lines of this one-shot were from 'Dude, Where's My Car?' X3, I know. I'm crazy. Expect of course my ideas and my little Moogle Song are mine. X3 I thought it was so cute that it was lame.
2. I don't own Shakira. O.o That would be weird if I did anyway…and to also point out, those few lines where from Shakira's song, 'La Tortura'. Just to let you guys know.
That's it! I want to thank Mai for helping me and giving me ideas and all of you reviewers and readers for reading and reviewing my stories.
Mai: Like OMFG YAY! The one-shot is like done!
Mandy: Like OMG! Finally!
Mai: So like...yeah...like what's there to do now...?
Mandy: Like...I don't know...
Mai: Like OMG! I have a FANTABULOUS idea!
Mandy: Like what!
Mai: Like…I think the readers should like...review! -nudge nudge wink wink-
Mandy: oh! -wink wink nudge nudge- I think so too!
Mai: Like totally!
Mai: And if like...they don't...snaps I've got my posse right here...to deal with them…and it will be disasterrific, okay!
Mandy: Like WHATEVER! -rolls eyes- I'm late for a French manicure in Swahili! -checks nails-
Mandy + Mai: LATER! -does hair flip and walks off w/ posse-
So you think this is the end? Nope!
Look out for Episode 2! Coming soon!