See Chapter One for full disclaimer and author's notes.

Chapter Seventeen

Sam received word the next day that Colonel Reynolds approved her inclusion on the team and that she had been assigned to Teal'c's strike force, but with one small caveat. Teal'c was to evaluate and approve her physical fitness for duty before she could begin training with the rest of the team.

The obstacle course at the SGC training facility was modified slightly to accommodate the unique challenges expected on this mission and Sam found herself standing on the edges of it just after noon on Sunday. It had taken every ounce of grit and stamina she had in her to make it through and in the end she finished the course just under the time limit set for the exercise. She was officially on the team and would begin training that next day.

The biggest surprise of the week came when she had reported to the training facility the first day the entire team was to assemble and begin preparations. Sam walked into the small briefing room in the makeshift building that housed the training staff offices for the SGC and was stunned to see Daniel sitting alone, already occupying a chair at the far end of the conference table.

"Daniel. What're you doing here?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Well, good morning to you too, Sam," Daniel replied casually. "Coffee?"

"Ah, sure, thanks. But, well, what're you doing here?" Sam asked again, her impatience with her team mate and friend getting the best of her.

Daniel upended a blue Air Force mug and poured Sam a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table.

"Heard it through the grapevine that you and Teal'c were going back to Ba'al's temple. And since there are only two people in the entire SGC who have even seen the inside of the place, seemed to make sense that both go on the mission, right?"

"Daniel, this isn't an exploration mission. This one is all business. Strictly a search and destroy mission. Not the type you usually volunteer for," Sam answered pragmatically.

"No, you're right. It's not. But if you're going back there, you're sure as hell not going back without me."

Sam smiled, touched by Daniel's loyalty, no matter how misplaced she might think it was.

"I'll be fine. I've got Teal'c and the rest of the team Colonel Reynolds put together. You don't need to do this."

"No, I do need to do this."

Sam cocked her head, genuinely confused. "Why?"

"Because last time… I just…" Daniel trailed off uncertainly.

"Last time was different. Last time we didn't know what was waiting for us. This time we do."

"And this time they know we're coming. Seems like not much has changed, if you ask me."

"Okay, you're probably right. But that doesn't mean you need to put your life on the line for this."

"Don't patronize me, Sam. I know what I'm getting into."

Sam pursed her lips. The last thing she wanted to do was say the wrong thing here and end up hurting one of her closest friends.

"Daniel, I wasn't patronizing you. We both know that military operations are not your strong suit. And yes, your experience with the temple would be somewhat helpful, but really, I'm fine. Okay?"

"Yeah well, maybe I just need to go."

"You need to go?"

"Yeah. I need to." Daniel paused, considering how much of his own personal demons to lay out on the table. "I screwed up last time. I screwed up and you… we could've lost you, Sam. I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back at the SGC safe and sound if you're going back there."

"Daniel, you didn't screw anything up last time. You did just what I ordered you to do. It was the right thing to do. Don't ever doubt that."

"Yeah, well, I swore years ago I would always be there to watch your backs. All of you. Teal'c and Jack included. So if you're going back, I'm going to be right there. Watching your back just like always." Like I didn't do last time. I never should have left her behind.

Sam sighed, knowing that she too had some deep seated reasons for needing to be included on this mission. Daniel's reasons were no less valid than her own. More so, perhaps, depending on your point of view.

"Alright. I'm not going to argue with you. But Daniel, you have to understand, there can be no hesitation. You have to be willing to follow orders immediately and without question. People could get killed if you don't. Do you think you can do that? Honestly?"

Daniel didn't answer right away, but took several moments to seriously consider the question. It was Sam's order that had led to her capture, but that didn't lessen the guilt he carried over the aftermath and her near death. Could he really leave her behind again, if ordered? If he were brutally honest, the answer was an unequivocal 'No'. Other orders given in the heat of battle, he was fairly certain he wouldn't have a problem following.

"I'll follow orders, Sam. All but one. I'm not going to leave anyone behind this time. Not again. I don't care about the consequences. Besides, how many times did we hear that from Jack over the years? No one gets left behind. No one."

"Daniel, it's not that simple and you know it."

"I know it's not. But that's the way it is."

Sam ran a frustrated hand through her hair. Up until now, she'd never truly appreciated how deep the man's stubbornness ran. It was a miracle General O'Neill hadn't tossed him from the team years ago, just to save himself the pain of dealing with it.

"I should go to Colonel Reynolds. Have you tossed from the mission for this."

"I know. But I'm asking you, as a friend and as someone who understands, don't. Please."

"Let me think about it, okay?"

"That's all I ask," Daniel replied simply, resuming his seat as the other members of the team began to file in and take their seats. He could only hope that Sam could see the depth of his resolve and the lengths he would go to be included on the mission. He suspected that she understood all too well his feelings on the matter.

As the briefing began, Sam had to force her attention to Colonel Reynolds. Daniel's declaration that he would leave no one behind weighed heavily on her and she knew, logically, she should report the conversation. But wasn't she herself on this mission despite the misgivings of both Teal'c and Jack? Could she deny Daniel the same chance at redemption that she herself was seeking? In all honesty, no, she couldn't anymore than she could sit this one out either. She only hoped that in the end none of them would live to regret their decisions.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

The next three days were spent training with the team, Sam and Daniel's assignment was to cover the first wave of the strike team, led by Teal'c, who would enter the 'gate initially and secure it and the DHD once on the other side. Sam, Daniel, and two others would be the next through the 'gate, rounding out the initial team which would be followed closely by Reynolds and the rest of the force.

The first two nights she'd come home and collapsed onto the couch, exhausted but feeling better than she had since before that last fateful mission. Her nights were still filled with haunting images, but her days had been mercifully free of any flashbacks.

Jack had taken to spending his evenings and nights at her place, an unspoken agreement that she wouldn't be alone. Not that she was complaining. Sam had lived alone for a number of years and had always thought it would be difficult to adjust to having someone around.

But not with Jack. Maybe it was the years of sleeping side by side off world, or maybe it was the closeness they both felt, but she was comfortable with him there. Even if all they were doing was sitting on the couch together watching television, Sam felt more at ease than she ever had with any other man in her life.

She had made him home just ahead of him tonight. Her orders to get a full nights rest before the 0900 embarkation the next morning. Sam knew Jack was on edge about her involvement, and she knew the only thing that might set his mind at ease would be to pull out, but she couldn't.

Planning a nice meal for the both of them, Sam set about making the preparations, laying out the ingredients and setting the table. When Jack arrived, the candles on the table were lit and Sam had changed into tight black jeans and a soft white short sleeved sweater. As she pulled open the door Jack took in the sight of her, the jeans and sweater hugging her figure in all the right places, his mouth dropped open involuntarily.

"Ah… did I miss an occasion or something?"

"Um… not really. Just thought a quiet dinner before I leave tomorrow would be nice."

Jack stepped the rest of the way into the foyer and wrapped his arms possessively around Sam's waist. Sam allowed herself to sink into his embrace, her forehead resting against his shoulder. He reached up to cup the back of her head, running his fingers lightly through her silken hair. Sam turned in his arms, the pull of his inviting lips too much to resist and she found herself leaning inexorably closer until they were breathing the same air.

Jack felt his heart rate quicken as Sam leaned closer, her full lips tantalizingly close. She hovered, just out of reach until finally he gave in and pulled her to him, crushing his mouth against hers in a passionate and powerful kiss. He poured his heart and soul into the embrace, giving free reign to his love, allowing it to wash over them both.

Sam parted her lips slightly, allowing Jack's tongue to slip into her mouth, deepening the kiss. Breathless they finally broke apart, hearts pounding in unison.

"So, when's dinner going to be ready?" Jack asked, a hunger that had nothing to do with food burning in his eyes.

Sam smiled, a slow sexy upturn of her sensual lips that turned Jack's guts inside out and back again. "Give me a minute, I'll just turn the oven down. It'll keep."

In a frenzy of discarded clothing and tangled limbs, a desperate need, lovemaking that burned white hot had slowly cooled. The frenetic energy dissipating into gentle caresses as they took their time exploring each other. Leisurely kisses rekindled the fires of desire that eventually left them both physically exhausted but contented in ways neither had experienced before.

Sam had expected there to be at least a measure of awkwardness as was common with new lovers, but with Jack it was as though they had been doing this for years. He seemed to know her instinctively, his hands moving confidently over her body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. As she lay spent in his arms, her heart slowly returning to a more normal rhythm, she didn't think she'd felt so alive in her entire life.

Rolling up on one arm, Sam gazed down into Jack's eyes. "I love you," she said simply, her heart poured into every word.

They had only said it once before, during that fateful night in the infirmary when he had sunk into the depths of despair, only to be pulled out again by the sight of her alive and awake.

"I love you, too. Heart and soul, Sam. Heart and soul."

Sam blinked sudden tears from her eyes, smiling brilliantly.

Jack raised himself up to brush his lips gently across hers, his hand tenderly stroking her face, cupping her chin. "My Samantha."

"I love it when you say that."

"What?"

"My name."

Jack smiled, the joy reaching down into the darkest parts of him and lighting them with a gentle glow as only the love of someone as dear to him as Sam, could.

"So, do you suppose dinner is beyond hope?"

"I'm sure I can salvage it. You hungry?"

"Oh yeah. But I need food first," Jack said, grinning wolfishly.

Sam blushed as his frankly appreciative eyes roaming over her naked form. She had never thought of herself as particularly good looking, always seeing herself at fifteen, the uncoordinated tomboy who intimidated the boys with her sharp mind. She rolled her eyes to cover her embarrassment and pushed herself off the bed, pulling on her discarded clothing as she went.

"What?" Jack asked innocently as he too tumbled from the bed and bent to pull on his jeans and t-shirt.

Catching up with Sam in the kitchen as she attended to their delayed meal, Jack stood behind her, wrapping his arms securely around her waist as Sam stirred the chicken and rice, warm from the oven, albeit a bit crispy around the edges.

"This'll be ready in just a minute. There's Guinness in the fridge if you're interested."

Jack tightened his grip on Sam's waist, turning her around to face him. Tracing her cheek with a finger, he tipped her chin up and kissed her, whisper soft at first, then more urgently. He couldn't seem to get enough of her and wondered if he ever would. He felt Sam melt into his embrace as she deepened the kiss.

Pulling back reluctantly, Jack took in the flush of her cheeks, the brightness of her impossibly blue eyes.

"You're beautiful," he breathed, overwhelmed with her.

Sam looked away, uncomfortable with the complement.

Jack ducked his head, forcing eye contact. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

"I know you wouldn't. I'm just not used to hearing it."

"Well then, I'll just have to say it more often. Until you do get used to it."

Sam slapped playfully at his chest. "Okay, okay, enough already. Go on in and have a seat, dinner'll be ready in a minute."

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

The silver moonlight streamed in through Sam's bedroom window. Jack had watched it creep slowly across the bedspread. He knew he should be sleeping, the day ahead promised to be long and trying. But somehow he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes. How long had he dreamed of this? Lying with Sam curled comfortably in his arms, naked and warm, her legs wrapped around his.

Her soft breaths tickled at his chest as she lay sleeping, her face looking relaxed and incredibly young in the moonlight. He clung to her, as a drowning man would cling to a raft, for he was drowning just as surely as if he had been cast adrift on the high seas. Sam was his salvation and he knew he would do anything to protect her, keep her safe.

So how was it that he was allowing her to return to that god forsaken planet in the morning? Into a situation that he knew would result in the loss of life? Was taking the chance that this would restore some semblance of balance to her life worth the terrible risk? He didn't think so, but in the end it truly wasn't up to him. He couldn't take that choice away from her, no matter how much he loved her.

But lying there in the small hours of the morning, he couldn't help but feel as though this might be his only chance to feel this way. His only chance to hold her close, to show her in the most intimate of ways just how much he loved her. Morbid thoughts continued to intrude on the joy he had experienced earlier than evening, crowding out the happiness and replacing it with dread.

He didn't want to feel this way, but he couldn't seem to help himself. He was too much the cynic. Too accustomed to life throwing him curves that sooner or later took him out at the knees. It had happened far too often for him not to expect it.

Wrenching his thoughts away from what may or may not come to pass, Jack gazed down at Sam's face and acknowledged that no matter what happened in the morning, he would always have this night. Settling himself more comfortably into the pillows Jack reluctantly allowed his eyes to slide closed. He had done what he could to keep her safe, built a rock solid team around her. Now it was up to her to bring herself home in one piece and he had to have faith that she would do just that.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Sam stood in the locker room, her gear neatly arrayed in front of her on the bench. She had already checked and re-checked everything until she could find any piece of equipment by touch alone. This was it, embarkation was only a few minutes away and she was as nervous as she had been the first time she had stepped through the 'gate on her way to Abydos.

Get a grip, Colonel. Now is not the time for this. Get your head on straight, already. Sam mentally chastised herself, shaking her head slightly.

The night before she had slept better than she had in weeks, even before the nightmares had become her nightly companion. She had mentioned it to Jack when they awoke in the early hours of the morning.

"How ya feelin' this morning?" He had asked, his casual smile covering for his genuine concern.

"Actually, better than I have in a while."

"Really?"

"Really. Thank you."

"What for?"

"Last night. Today. Everything."

"No need to thank me for last night," Jack answered, a rakish grin on his face. "As for the rest, well…"

"I know how you feel about me going on this mission. This is something I have to do."

"I know that. Honestly, I do. Doesn't make it any easier."

"I know that too. But I've got Teal'c and Daniel looking out for me. Can't ask for a better team."

Jack said nothing, but had simply wrapped his arms tightly around her as they lay and waited for the sun to rise and herald the new day.

Sam shook her head to clear the pleasant but distracting memories of the night they had spent together. As she donned her jacket and vest, she couldn't imagine anything giving her more incentive to return home safe and sound than the prospect of spending the rest of her life wrapped in the warm, safe embrace she had found herself in when she had awoken that morning. She'd do what she had to do to exorcise the demons that lingered from her fateful trip to -035, and then would return home, hopefully at peace with herself and the past.

SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1-SG1

Jack stood pacing in the control room. The staff wisely remaining out of his way, easily reading the edgy tension that radiated from their commanding officer. He wanted nothing more than to call the whole thing off and barring that strap on a P-90 harness and go with them. Unfortunately, neither of those options was available to him. Jack glanced at his watch again, T minus five minutes. The team would begin assembling in the 'gateroom any minute now.

On queue, Teal'c and Colonel Reynolds emerged from the stairwell, each kitted out and ready to depart.

"Any last orders, General?"

"No Colonel. The plan's as sound as we're going to be able to make it. Good hunting."

"Aye, Sir. All goes well, we'll be back here in time for dinner."

"Right," Jack answered warily. "Just be sure you make it back in one piece."

"Understood, Sir," Reynolds replied before turning and heading back down the stairs toward the 'gateroom.

Teal'c inclined his head in acknowledgement before turning to follow.

"T?"

Turning back to face Jack, Teal'c quirked an eyebrow. "O'Neill."

"Bring 'em back."

"I will endeavor to do so, O'Neill. With my shield, or on it."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. He hadn't heard that phrase in years, not since his Black Ops days. 'With your shield, or on it' had been their rallying cry. They would come home victorious or carried home as a fallen hero, but never without their shield, never returning home a coward. Teal'c's inference was clear. He would come home with the team victorious, or die trying.

"Yes, well. I would prefer with it."

"As would I," Teal'c replied and then proceeded to the 'gateroom to join the rest of the team now gathered there.

Jack watched his retreating form as it disappeared down the stairwell before turning toward the control room windows and the Stargate beyond. Carter had just entered the 'gateroom, followed closely by Daniel, his head covered in his usual OD do-rag. The archaeologist looked more than a bit out of place on the purely military team, but Jack had learned the hard way over the years that Daniel was just as able to handle himself as anyone in the SGC.

"Sergeant Harriman, dial the 'gate."

"Yes, Sir," Harriman answered, efficiently manipulating the keyboard, entering the coordinates for P7X-035.

Jack listened with half an ear as the Sergeant counted down the chevrons as each was entered and locked in.

"Chevron seven… locked."

The 'gate exploded in blue fire, the 'gateroom filled with it's ephemeral light. The sight both awed and terrified the General. Jack watched Sam take up her position behind Teal'c and the lead element of the strike force. Jack reached for the microphone.

His voice steadier than he felt, Jack gave the order.

"Strike Force Galaxy, you have a go."

He watched as Teal'c inclined his head then marched up the ramp and without hesitation disappeared through the event horizon, followed closely by the next three members of the advance team. Sam and Daniel stepped up, followed closely by Lieutenants Garrett and Kent, the remainder of the advance team. Jack's eyes never left Sam as she mounted the steps and checked her watch, waiting out the agreed upon fifteen seconds before following.

Sensing his gaze on her, Sam looked up over her shoulder and caught Jack's eye. Giving him a ghost of a smile and a quick nod she turned and without hesitation plunged through the event horizon, toward her destiny.

To Be Continued...