Ruthie lay on her bed, listening to the sounds of the night try to seduce her into sleep. As she lay there she thought about how she had changed the past year, a year ago she was a perky little girl with a lot of spirit and a lot of energy. She realized how much her life had depended on the security of the things around her, when her life fell apart she lost her sense of self. She had lost everything but in a way it had helped her, she had always thought she was independent and secure. After her world shattered she realized she'd always been dependent. Ruthie knew that she was stronger now then she ever was, and that right there was what satisfied her. Ruthie closed her eyes and let herself drift off as the night wore her down; she felt a sense of security in her sleep a security that she had thought she would never get back.
Ruthie opened her eyes to soft morning light that had crept in through her windows, the light casting shadows across her floor. Ruthie got herself out of bed, running a comb through her hair. She slipped out of her bedroom and tiptoed down the stairs as to not wake anyone up. As she touched the hard wood floor in the kitchen Ruthie could feel the wood beneath her feet. Sunday mornings were always her favorite. Ruthie spotted her mother making breakfast and watched her brothers sitting on the table watching their mother, chatting away, oblivious to her presence. Ruthie leaned against the wall and just watched, observing her family being normal, the innocence of her little brothers became real to her. She wondered what she'd missed in their lives in the past year. Ruthie realized as she listened to them that they had grown up; she realized she had finally come home. Ruthie knew she went upstairs that night but she finally felt like she came back down.
"Morning," Ruthie said. She watched as her mother's face changed instantly when she spotted her.
"Morning," her mother smiled. Ruthie smiled trying to ignore the feeling. She took a seat at the table beside her brothers.
"Morning Ruthie," She could hear a slight sigh when they said that. Suddenly Ruthie felt like none of her family really knew she was back. They all still felt like they had to tiptoe around her.
"Want some breakfast?" Annie asked breaking Ruthie's train of thought.
"Sure," she smiled. Her mother brought the three of them breakfast and then went back to cleaning dishes.
"Hurry up and eat cause we have to head over to church soon," Annie said rushing them. "I'm going to go upstairs and change"
"I'll watch the boys for you," Ruthie offered.
"We don't need to be watched in our own home!" David snapped.
"Yeah, and besides your still eating we might as well go get dressed too" Sam replied. The two of them got up and dumped their plates, leaving Ruthie in shock. She watched her two brothers stomp up the stairs; she looked to her mother who sighed and followed them upstairs. Ruthie sat there pushing her food around, she suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore, but she finished her breakfast and headed upstairs to get dressed.
Once dressed she headed downstairs to join her brothers in the living room, Ruthie was on her way downstairs when she bumped into martin. He looked up and smiled at her. Ruthie could tell it was a genuine one; Martin may be the only one who doesn't think he has to tiptoe around me anymore.
"Hey," She said smiling.
"Hey, you look nice," He smiled.
"Thanks," Ruthie said, she heard the doorbell ring and knew Kevin and Lucy must be here they always dropped by to make sure there was nothing they could do to help.
"Um…" Martin said looking away.
"Maybe I was wrong…" Ruthie muttered.
"Huh?" Martin looked at her puzzled.
"Nothing I better go downstairs now," She said shaking her head. Ruthie headed downstairs with Martin behind her. Ruthie entered the living room and saw everyone rushing out the door. She grabbed her coat and headed out to.
"Hey" Ruthie said waving at Lucy.
"Hey" Lucy said smiling she gave her sister a half-hug before jumping into her car with the twins and Kevin. The twins had asked to go with Lucy and Kevin so they could ride with their cousin. Ruthie got into the back seat of her parents car, as they headed church. A light drizzle started to come down, making it way slightly down the window. Ruthie could feel her mood dripping down along with the rain.
As they all entered the Camden household after church, the front hall soon smelled of rain. Annie quickly got everyone to get their coats and shoes off and put them in a corner, before heading into to make coffee and lunch. Ruthie headed into the living room where everyone was, her dad, Martin and Kevin sat on the couch watching a game and the twins were on the floor in front of them cheering. Lucy sat in the chair watching them and giggling. Ruthie went into the kitchen.
"Mom?" She said hesitantly.
"Yes Ruthie?" Her mom stopped what she was doing immediately.
"I wanted to talk to everyone in the living room," She said.
"Oh sure," Annie said following her daughter into the living room. When she got there she walked over and turned off the TV and sat down in the chair opposite Lucy.
"HEY!" the twins cried.
"It'll just take a second" Ruthie stuttered. Everyone turned and faced her; she felt a little nervous and started to fiddle with her fingers. "I wanted to say that I wish everyone would stop tiptoeing around me. I'm okay, I'm not over it and I never will be completely but I'm okay." She stopped.
"I realized that I've been gone this past year but I'm back and I mean it me! Ruthie! I'm back. All of you I'm not going to break if you hug me or cry if you get mad at me! I'm sorry if I've missed you guys growing up," She said turning to the twins. "I want you all to treat me like your sister or your daughter or your friend or what ever, not as a victim. Cause that's how you've all been treating me, but I'm okay." After she was done Ruthie felt a sense of relief rush over her, she knew she was right, she was okay. Ruthie knew after all this time her life could finally move on, she could finally move on.