New Girl - Chapter Four
Cosmo couldn't sleep if his life depended on it. All he had on his mind was Wanda. He knew exactly what he wanted to say and exactly how he was going to say it (which, he had to admit, was the first thing he knew for sure in a long while), but he was still afraid that his wife would have an "I-don't-care" attitude and ignore him. Besides that, he was never good at making decisions. He always failed the Multiple Choice tests back in elementary school because he could never decide on anything.
He rolled over and looked at Wanda, who was asleep in the next bed, and sighed. He knew he had to fix things soon, before she decided she'd had enough.
"Maybe I'm over-reacting," Cosmo thought, then wondered if he used "over-reacting" right. Debating his vocabulary usage wasn't making sleep come any faster.
Allison thought she would be able to sleep happily that night. Venus had finally explained to her what was going on with Cosmo and Wanda. Allison agreed with her godmother when she said Cosmo and Wanda were perfect together before all of it. They looked so cute together in that drawing! It made her think of Timmy and how they would look if they ended up together some day.
Her fantasies were interrupted by her parents, who were still at each other's throats. She wondered if it would ever end. Allison had thought about wishing it was over, but she knew it wouldn't last long enough, and she would just end up hearing the screams again soon enough.
Canary-shaped Venus moved her attention from swinging on the swing her cage to her goddaughter. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Allison, "I just need some sleep."
Allison knew Venus wouldn't buy that for a second, but it was worth a shot anyway. What she really wanted was her parents to come up and kiss her good night like they did when she was little, but she had a better chance of Cosmo passing an IQ test.
Timmy sat on his front steps and waiting for Allison to come out of her house. Wanda was with him disguised as a lunch box, but Cosmo had decided to stay home. He knew his godfather's plan was driving Wanda crazy, but he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. He had to admit; the whole situation was pretty fishy.
He wasn't feeling too great himself. Timmy's mind was jumbled up with confusion about Allison. It got him thinking about Tootie. His former fan had gotten over Timmy towards the end of sixth grade. He wasn't sure who she was after then, but he knew Chester has had an eye on her since the day he gave up cooties. Tootie's old obsession had gotten Timmy thinking about what she might have felt. He knew it wasn't love she was thinking about. After all, they were only ten at the time. He figured infatuation fit it best. Maybe that was what was going on with Allison. He convinced himself it was nothing more than infatuation until he saw her come out the door.
Allison joined her new friend on the steps. "Hi Timmy," she said. "Hi Wanda."
"Hi," Timmy said. She looked extra stunning today, even if she always dressed the same.
Wanda just murmured.
"Where's Cosmo at?" Allison asked Wanda. Again, she only murmured something under her breath.
"He was in the fishbowl the last I saw him," Timmy answered. It took him a while, though. It was a miracle he could talk at all with that shimmery hair so close to him.
"So you don't know?"
Timmy heard weird sounds coming from Lunchbox Wanda. He couldn't figure out what it was at first, but when he realized it was crying, he changed the subject. "Can you believe all the homework Crocker gave us last night?"
Wanda, who was now a pencil on Timmy's desk, sighed. She was nothing without her green eraser companion, just like she was nothing without her green squirrel companion, or the green milk carton, or the green dog…
"Just stop thinking about him!" Wanda scolded herself in thought. "If he didn't love you anymore he would have left by now!"
Wanda had been telling herself that for days, but every time she thought it, it seemed less and less true.
When she sighed again, Mr. Crocker looked up from the test papers he was grading. Wanda knew most of the students' grades from experience. AJ always got an A, Francis always got a D, Timmy always got an F, and Allison had become known to get a C on every test. Why should he bother grading it? They all knew what they got anyway.
Crocker turned his attention back to his papers. Timmy bent down and asked Wanda, "What's with you today?"
If Wanda opened her mouth, she knew she'd start crying again. After all, Cosmo was the one she always thought her soul mate. She just thought her answer. "Cosmo is what's with me. Or I at least wish he were. Can't you make yourself useful and wish for that?"
She suddenly thought of one of "Da Rules", the one about tampering with true love, and poofed herself to the tree outside the classroom as a squirrel. She couldn't lose it in there, she would risk losing Timmy, too, and that was just as bad as losing Cosmo.
"Where's your pencil, Turner?" Crocker asked Timmy in his "I'm-on-to-you" voice. Was it just him, or was Crocker even more fairy obsessed lately?
"My pocket?"
"Touché," Allison whispered sarcastically.
Crocker walked away angrily and the bell rang for lunch.
"What are you 'touché-ing' me for?" Timmy asked. "You use that one all the time when Venus poofs away."
"It's called a joke," Allison answered.
Suddenly, Timmy realized that his neighbor didn't have anything blue. "Is Venus gone, too?"
"Yup," Allison answered in a voice that made Timmy think she knew what was going on.
"Cosmo!" Venus screamed in frustration. "Get over it! Anyone with eyes could see that she still loved you!"
"Well…what if she's just a good actress?"
"Great," Venus thought, "the one time he actually thinks about something, he over-does it!"
"What in the world is stopping you?"
For the first time since Venus met Cosmo, he had said something truly meaningful. "I'm afraid. I don't want her to leave me."
"Who is that and what did he do with Cosmo?"
Venus felt pretty upset then. She could only imagine what it felt like for Cosmo. She put an arm around her friend's shoulder. "Maybe Timmy can give us some information."
"But he's not Wanda!"
Venus sighed. It felt weird to be annoyed and worried at the same time.
"How do you do it?" Allison asked AJ. She, Timmy, Chester, and AJ were talking about Crocker's tests.
"I'm just smart," AJ said, getting somewhat cocky. In the short time Allison had known AJ, she was definitely able to make the assumption that he was a bit of a showoff when it came to grades.
"Smart or not smart," Allison said, "it still amazes me."
"You get used to it after a while," Chester said, glaring at his friend. He wasn't too great in school.
Timmy pulled Allison aside. "You know what's going on, don't you?" he whispered.
"Yeah," Allison whispered back, pretending not to know what he was talking about. "Me, you, and Chester hate AJ for being smart."
"Not that! What's going on with Cosmo and Venus!"
Allison wasn't sure how to respond. Venus, always thinking of every possible thing that could happen, told Allison not to mention anything to Timmy in case Wanda really didn't love Cosmo anymore. She hated keeping a secret from Timmy, though. He could have been the guy she loved, after all.
"Is that a problem?" was what she decided to answer with.
"It's making Wanda miserable!" Timmy yelled.
"How would you know?" Allison asked. "She never around anymore, and she barely talks to anyone!"
"Exactly! Wanda's never like that. I've known her for two years, I think I know the difference between Happy Wanda and Depressed Wanda!"
Allison still wanted to take Venus's approach and think of every possibility. Just as she was about to make up some dumb excuse, Timmy disappeared.
Cosmo hoped Venus was right about Timmy knowing what Wanda was up to. He knew his wife, and she had always seemed to hide her emotions a bit, especially when they were assigned to a kid.
"Oh, so this is where you two have been!" Timmy said accusingly.
The three were in a guestroom in Allison's house. Cosmo didn't understand what Timmy meant at all.
Venus snapped back at him saying, "We aren't having an affair!"
"Well, then what have you been up to?"
Cosmo could tell Timmy was really angry. He guessed an affair was something bad this time, instead of a formal affair like a wedding or something. "Why do I have to be such an idiot!"
"Timmy," Venus said more gently, "listen—"
"No," Timmy said, his voice rising, "you listen! Wanda as been absolutely miserable because of you and Cosmo disappearing every day. If you two are doing anything at all, I suggest you cut it out because I hate seeing Wanda sad! Why won't anyone tell me what's going on."
"Wait," Cosmo thought, "Wanda was sad because she thought me and Venus were doing…something? She does love me!"
At that moment, Cosmo was probably the happiest fairy on Heaven, Earth, and Fairy World. Suddenly, he realized that Wanda probably thought he loved Venus. He had to tell her it wasn't true. He just had to.
"Listen, you," Venus was saying to Timmy, "I—"
"Where's Wanda!" Cosmo interrupted loudly.
"Off somewhere crying, probably," Timmy answered his godfather. "She poofed away in the middle of class."
Somehow, Venus had set eyes on the clock. "Three thirty already! Timmy, you'd better get home!"
"But I—" Timmy never got to finish. Venus instantly poofed him into his bedroom.
"This is insane!" cried Timmy flopping down on is bed.
"What's insane?" a familiar voice asked. Timmy looked up and was surprised to see Allison standing in his doorway.
"What are you doing here?" he asked in a shocked voice. "Not that it's a problem…"
"Your dad let me in. I think he just likes me because I'm not the Whateverburgs."
Timmy laughed. He knew it was true. The other day he and his father were talking…
"Timmy," Mr. Turner had said. "Those new neighbors are great!"
Timmy agreed, but only because he liked Allison so much.
"Can you believe how Not Dinkleburg-y they are?"
Timmy nodded. All his father could talk about was the "Not Dinkleburg" family. It was driving him and his mother nuts.
"That was a surprisingly short flashback," Allison remarked, reminding Timmy of when Remy Buxaplenty got his so-called revenge.
Timmy nodded.
"So," Allison sat down next to Timmy on his bed. "What's insane, now?"
"This whole Cosmo and Venus suddenly gone thing." Timmy told the story of what happened that day in the guestroom.
"Look," Allison answered her friend's concerns, "it isn't what you think. Cosmo only—"
She was interrupted by the sound of shattering glass from next door. Timmy and Allison rushed to the window and looked over at the Mancuso house. Someone had thrown a lamp through the window. "That's weird," Timmy thought. "The only time that would happen is at frat party or when Cosmo's wand malfunctions."
"Oh, crud!" Allison jumped up. "I have to go!"
At first, Timmy thought it was Cosmo's fault, but he changed his mind after Allison rushed out of the room at full speed. He could hear his Dad yelling, "No! Don't leave! I love you, Not Dinkleburg!"
"Her parents?" Timmy thought out loud. His suspicions were proven correct when he heard Allison's father yell, "I've had it! Tomorrow I'm getting divorce papers!"
Timmy closed his window and imagined Allison's happy face. She had told Timmy all about her home life and how she wished she didn't have to deal with everything all of the time. Timmy didn't neccesarely agree, but if Allison was happy, so was he.
Wanda was still in the tree by eight o'clock that night. She wasn't crying anymore, nor was she a squirrel, but she was still upset. It was so calming up there in that tree.
Lightning crashed, and it started raining. Being the logical fairy that she is, she made herself a rubber umbrella for protection.
"Wanda!" a familiar nasally voice called. She recognized it as Timmy almost right away.
"Timmy?" Wanda called back. Soon her godchild and his best female friend appeared in front of the tree in raincoats. She decided to poof the two up in the tree with her and extended the umbrella so it fit over all three of their heads.
"So," Timmy said, "this is where you've been all day."
"I—I just—" Wanda stammered. She couldn't come out and say, "I was bawling my eyes out for three hours because I was afraid my husband would leave me." She finally settled for, "I just needed some time to think."
"Isn't six hours long enough?" Allison asked. Wanda couldn't help noticing that the girl was all smiles.
"What are you so happy about?" Wanda asked somewhat bitterly. She didn't mean to sound that way, but she wished she could be that happy right then. The only thing that would make that possible was Cosmo.
"My parents are finally getting divorced!" Allison yelped gleefully.
At the sound of "divorce", Wanda started crying again. She couldn't help it, that was the word she was fearing for a while now.
"Wanda, what's wrong?" Timmy asked extremely sincerely. He sounded so sweet that Wanda couldn't help spilling out everything.
"It's Cosmo! Ever since your twelfth birthday Cosmo and I have been drifting farther and farther apart. He almost never tells me he loves me anymore, or that I'm the only one for him…you don't know what Cosmo was like in the castle, Timmy. He was always so sweet and he poofed up a rose for me now and then. But now he's just not the same and I'm afraid he's going to leave me. I love him so much, Timmy. It's really been taking a toll on me."
The reaction Wanda got wasn't exactly what she expected. Timmy gave her n "I-knew-it" look, while all Allison could do was laugh.
"It isn't funny," Wanda and her godson said at the same time, though Wanda said it in a sad voice while Timmy yelled it more defensively. "Oh, I love that kid!"
"I'm sorry," Allison excused herself. "Wanda, Venus has been helping Cosmo deal with how much he misses you and the way things used to be. He can't leave you, he'd be nothing without you!"
Timmy looked absolutely dumbfounded. "So, they aren't…you know…'it'ing?"
Allison laughed again. "Nope!"
Wanda was so happy she could have done backflips, but she was a bit too sensible to do that, so she settled for an energetic "Woohoo!"
Allison continued as the rain came down harder. "Cosmo is going to tell you something tonight, Wanda. I think you'll like it."
Wanda didn't doubt the girl for a second. "You know, you're a really sweet kid!"
"She seemed pretty happy back there," Allison commented to Timmy as the two of them walked down the sidewalk on their way back to their houses.
"Yup," Timmy agreed. All things considered, he was in a pretty good mood. He had solved the problem with Wanda, fund out what Cosmo and Venus were up to, he didn't have any homework that night, and he sat in a tree with Allison. Two thumbs up for that day, for sure!
"I think she might have overdone it when she called me sweet, though," Allison continued. "I was more dishonest than sweet. I did promise I wouldn't give anything away."
"No, I think you could pass for sweet," Timmy said. "You're more than sweet. You're funny, beautiful…and I'm pretty sure I love you. I love you, Allison Mancuso!"
Timmy was hit by the reality of his thoughts. "I'm going absolutely insane!"
Cosmo paced in the castle as he waited for Wanda to come in. She wasn't there when he got home, and he had been home for quite a while. He knew he was going to tell her tonight. He was finally going to see if what they had was something they could keep.
He thought about the time when he proposed to Wanda…
"Cosmo," Wanda said, "This was a really great night."
"Really?" Cosmo asked in amazement. No girl had ever sad that before!
"Sure!" Wanda answered. "Even if it was just playing Pictionary in your mother's basement. I love you, Sweetie."
Cosmo sighed. He loved it when she said that. "I love you, too."
"I'll be right back," Wanda said, then flew off to the direction of the bathroom.
Suddenly, Cosmo got the feeling that he never wanted to leave her again. He remembered hearing his father say about Mamma Cosma, "I married her, so I'm stuck with her forever!"
"I'm gonna marry her!" Cosmo yelled out in happiness. "But how do you marry someone?"
Cosmo thought back to all the stories he heard as a kid. He remembered something about a ring before the wedding. He figured that would work out fine.
"Hmm…" Cosmo thought, "Where do I find a ring?"
Cosmo heard the toilet flush, so e knew he had to act fast. On the floor nearby, he noticed a chewed-up pen cap. "Ah, well, close enough!"
When Wanda came down the stairs, Cosmo held the pen cap out in front of her and asked, "Wanda, will you marry me?"
"Oh, Cosmo!" Wanda cried, "I bet you had this planned for days!"
"Uh, sure. Let's go with that!"
"Of course I will, Sweetie!" Wanda yelled happily and jumped into Cosmo's arms.
And that brought Cosmo to where he was then, pacing in his castle waiting for Wanda to come so he could finally tell her…
"Cosmo?" he heard a familiar voice ask. "Are you in here?"
Before Cosmo could answer, the door opened and Wanda came in. It was time to put his plan into action.
"Wanda. I know we haven't been too close lately, but, uh, I just wanted to say that I really care about you and I love you a lot and if you hate me because I'm a big, dumb idiot and stopped showing that, then I understand, I guess…PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"
"Where'd that come from?"
Some girl would have sat down and talked, and others would have ignored it, but Cosmo was lucky enough to have the girl who screamed, "Just kiss me, you big, dumb idiot!"