Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor am I affiliated with Decode, Family, or The N.
A/N: Another short chapter written as diary entries throughout the day from Lily's point of view. Enjoy!
July 5
10:00am
Dear Diary,
I fell asleep in my basement last night. I know, I'm a loser. Everybody was out having a good time while I was alone thinking about you-know-who. Could I be anymore pathetic? I was going through my notebook just now and I realised that almost every song I've written is about him. Why can't I just get him out of my mind? It's like he's taken over my entire body. Since when do I live just for a guy? This is the 21st century. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can ever get over him. I can't even imagine what he was doing last night. It hurts too much to think about the possibilities. The only thing I know for sure is that he was out with her. That's bad enough.
I have to do something about this. I don't want to be one of those girls who just lets things happen to them. I want to be the girl who makes it happen. It's about time that I realised that. Next year will be our last year of high school, so now is the time to take a chance. If I don't, I know I will regret it later on.
11:00am
Dear Diary,
I can do it. I know I can. Do you know why? Because Ray just called! I was in my dining room having some late breakfast. I had the house to myself because both my parents were at work. The phone rang, so I answered it. I knew it was him from the moment he said 'hello.' He asked me to meet him at the hang out tonight. It sounded urgent. He said there was something he wanted to talk to me about. Is it about us? The anticipation is killing me.
What would a normal girl do in this situation? Probably call all her friends over for a makeover to prepare for the night. That's something that I'm definitely not going to do. Can you say boring? Besides, when I see Ray, I want to look like myself. I want to be the same Lily he's known all his life.
Tonight is the night. I can feel it. Something is going to happen. It has too. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to dive right in. This is the moment I've been waiting for all year.
3:00pm
Dear Diary,
Parker called, so I invited her over. She could tell that I was excited about something. She came inside and we went downstairs to my basement. We listened to some music and put together some lyrics for our next song. All the while she continued to ask me what was up. I hate to say it but I have been kind of moody lately. So I guess she noticed a change in me. She said that I was 'glowing.' After prying for a long time, I finally gave in and told her. I didn't want to tell her everything. I didn't show her the dark songs I'd written. All I told her was that I was meeting Ray tonight and that I thought that something might happen. Her smile faded. "Lily, you have to remember that Ray is with Angela now" she told me in a concerned voice. I turned away from her gaze, too afraid to look into her eyes. A part of me knew that she was right, and I hated her for it. But I have to tell myself to go for it. I don't want to sit back and pretend like nothings wrong. I told Parker that I wouldn't do anything that I would regret. I told her not to worry and that I'd call her in the morning. Something told me that she only partially believed me, but I can't dwell on that now. Parker doesn't understand. She never has, and she never will. Now that Parker has left, I can push what she said out of my mind. I am moving forward.
7:55pm
Dear Diary,
In 5 minutes I will be walking to the hang out to meet Ray. I am very nervous now. There's a clock that is on the wall in our front hallway. It was a gift from Ray just before we started high school. I have no idea why he bought it for me, or why I still have it. I never noticed how loud it was until now. It keeps ticking as each second goes by.
All I want is for tonight to go well. I don't even know what I'm going to do yet. Should I tell him how I feel? That's something I will decide tonight. It's time for me to go. Ray's clock now reads 7:59. Here goes nothing.