Title: The Goddesses Of Orlyism

Author: Crystyna

Disclaimer: I do not own: ANY OF 'EM! Whahahah!

Author's Note: I keep neglecting my other stories…this one especially. Sorry about that, Luna!

As we rode through the forest I was quite aware that we probably looked exactly the way Arwen did in The Fellowship of the Ring. My hair was flying behind me and surprisingly it was not whipping Legolas in the face - instead he had positioned his head low over my shoulder, and had bent me forward so that I was pressed as close to Celebduin's neck as possible. I'm sure from where he was he had a perfect view right down my shirt, but at the moment I was loathed to mention it.

Mostly because I felt like I was going to fall off the horse.

It seemed amazing to me how far Elladan and Elrohir had traveled in the forest in so short a time, because Legolas and I must have been riding at the fastest gallop for about fifteen minutes before I could make even the vaguest shape of the twins from Imladris ahead of us.

"Noro lim, Celebduin!" Legolas said and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. It's not as if Laura was in grave danger, and if she was, well, the twins would get there first. And from the way they were acting, Sauron himself could have threatened Laura and Elrond's brave sons would have kicked his ass all the way back to the Void, or wherever he was.

I could do nothing but hold on to poor Celebduin's mane as tightly as possible, riding with my eyes closed. Yeah, I'd been riding before, but we'd never gone faster than a trot! It was a dude ranch, for Iluvatar's sake, and the fake-cowboys wouldn't let us!

Legolas slowed Celebduin by what seemed like the force of his mind, because I didn't hear him say anything. He hopped lightly off the horse as if we hadn't just been riding at breakneck speeds through a forest, where I easily could have fallen if had he let go.

Of course, he wouldn't have let go of "so fair a maiden." I narrowed my eyes and pushed his arms away from my waist gently, not wanting to insult the dear Prince, but not exactly comfortable with him invading my personal space either. He made no notice of this and took my hand in his, with his other hand grabbing Celebduin's reins and leading me as forcefully as the horse over to where Elladan and Elrohir stood by Laura.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE VALAR WERE YOU THINKING, ELLADAN?" Elrohir roared, kneeling beside Laura who was evidently unconscious.

"Laur-Lothuviel!" I cried, running forward and kneeling on her other side.

Shut up, Tuna, I'm fine, she thought to me. Well, then what the hell are you doing on the floor? I shot back. I saw her eyelids flutter and her lips twitch as she looked around with big eyes not two seconds later. I frowned. By now, Elrohir was on his feet and looking rather pink in the face from shouting at his brother, and Legolas was trying to intervene.

"If Elrond could see them now." I said, watching with an amused grin. Laura nodded. "They are such morons - Morha, how come we never knew they were such idiots?" she asked me. None of the elves took notice of us.

"Think we should run away?" I asked. Laura shook her head. "Nah, I can't get far. Busted my leg when I fell off of Bregol," she said. She laughed at the expression on my face. "Its not a big deal, but Elladan was getting too touchy-feely, if you know what I mean. He pulled his horse right up next to mine - innocent little me, I thought he wanted to talk."

"What did he do?"

"Well, he proposed about the same thing that Legolas did to you, except with different scenery." Laura said. "A roll in the hay, minus the hay." As chaste as she was trying to appear, a smug smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"So just a roll then, huh? It rocks, being a Mary-Sue, doesn't it?" I asked dreamily, staring at Legolas. Laura smacked me. "We must not give in." she hissed. I nodded, pinching my arm. Bad me.

"So, did Elladan feed you that whole, 'I would not dishonor you' crap?" I asked, watching as Legolas literally had to step between Elladan and Elrohir to keep them from jumping on each other again.

"The very same," Laura said. We watched the elves for a few more moments in silence.

"You know, they don't act very much like elves in a MS," I said. Laura rolled her eyes. "Oh please, the boys back home act more mature," she snorted. I sighed. "It's a bit depressing."

"Are you QUITE finished?" Laura said loudly, and all three elves were silent, turning to look at her a bit alarmed. Elladan walked over to Laura and knelt in front of her. I realized that whatever he had to say to her was probably not meant for my ears and as much as I wanted to stay and listen, I found myself walking away and looping arms with the remaining Princes, leading them away. Legolas followed quite willingly, but to guide Elrohir took a couple of yanks on my part.

We have got to get to the bottom of this. I wasn't sure whether it was my thought or Laura's as we headed out of the forest and back to the palace thing to which were so cordially invited.

A/N: Short. I know. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, Luna.