The Trouble With Love Is Chapter 1: Confessions, a degrassi fanfic

Confessions
Written by: American Idiot's Broken Dreams

He had thought that everything would be okay after he and Emma broke it off. That she would be a part of his past that he would seldom have to visit, but he was wrong. She kept revisiting his thoughts, invading his words, and weaving through his feelings. She just would not go away. It wasn't that she was there physically, but just the mention of anything environmental—trees, recycling—her soft, gorgeous face.

Emma Nelson just would not let Sean Cameron be. She would not let him and Ellie live a happy life. But, Emma's reawaking from her past wasn't completely Emma's fault. After all, he was the one that had started the affair. All it took was that once drunken kiss to send him into a spiraling world of sex, sneaking around, and deception. And all it took was one clumsy mistake for Ellie to find out.

After that, he and Ellie had a heart to heart and he told her everything. About every rendezvous, lie, and adulterous actions he had had with Emma. He had never seen Ellie cry so much in one night and he had never forgiven himself for causing every tear she shed. But, regardless, she had forgiven him and still loved him—and he felt so much better about having every lie and story off his chest. Emma Nelson was part of his past that he no longer had to visit and he truly, confidently believed that she would never turn up in his life again. That was, until today, when he got the phone call that would change his life.

I guess I gotta give part two of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part two of my confessions

Just as Ellie had left for work, the telephone rang and Sean had casually answered it, thinking that it was Craig or Jimmy wanting to get together for lunch or something. But when the sweet, delicate voice he hadn't heard in four months floated through the receiver, he nearly dropped the phone.

"Hey, Sean, how are you doing?" she said softly.

"Emma, what are you calling here? I thought I told you not to call here after we broke it off." Sean said, a little rougher than he meant to.

"I know, but this is important, more important that anything we've ever been through." Emma led on, with a frightened tinge to her voice.

Looking around, as if Ellie were still in the house, he agreed, "Okay, what is it."

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do
Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you

"Look, there's no easy way to say this, and I don't want you to get angry with me or hang up on me." Emma procrastinated worriedly.

"Emma, just spit it out." Sean sighed, getting annoyed.

"I mean, Sean, this really isn't easy. And I know your going to hate me." Sean rolled his eyes at Emma's prolonging of whatever she was going to tell him.

"Will you tell me already?" he exclaimed harshly.

'Bout that chick on part one I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with
Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it

"I'm three months pregnant, Sean, and I'm going to keep it," Emma blurted out.

At the same time, Sean blanched and the air left out of his lungs. Maybe she just needed someone to talk to about this…maybe she just didn't know where to turn…maybe it was because he was the father.

The first thing that came to mind was you
Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true
Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did
How I ain't ready for no kid and bye-bye to our relationship

"So, you're telling me this because?" he said, hoping his thoughts weren't true.

"Because, Sean, you're my baby's father!" Emma said this as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Before any other thought could register in his mind, the only word that echoed through his mind was, Ellie. Ellie had already forgiven him for having the affair with Emma, but how, how in the world was he going to accept the fact that he had a baby with another woman?

But, how was he positive that this baby was for him? After all, could you really trust a woman that had convinced you that an affair when you were married wasn't that bad? For all he knew, this baby could be Chris's or some other guy she been fooling around with before him. Yeah, Sean assured himself falsely, this baby might not even be mine.

And if he wanted to believe this, then how come his mind wasn't letting him? Now, suddenly, above everything else he had ever done, he was regretting his affair with Emma the most. How could he have done something so stupid and, and irresponsible. And on top of that, was he even ready to be a father? He and Ellie had only been married a year and three and a half months and haven't even begin discussing having children. It was just making love and hoping that she took the Pill that day. Now, all of that would be down the drain because he was sure that Ellie was going to leave him.

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do
I guess I gotta give part two of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part two of my confessions

"How do you know it's mine?" Sean suddenly blurted, feeling the sudden urge to cry.

"Sean! You're that only other person I've been with since, well, Chris, okay. So, I'm positive that it's you. The last time we were together was four months ago, I'm three months along…it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it's yours." Emma explained.

"Wait…you lied to me!" he realized that the last time they were together, just like every time they were together, he asked if she was on the Pill.

And that time she said yes like always, but this phone call proved wrong. He wasn't going to take responsibility for Emma's mistake—not if she had purposely planned this.

"Yeah, I know," she muttered in a small, fragile voice.

"So you planned this! You did this on purpose!" he shouted into the phone, slamming his hand on the counter.

"I'm sorry, but it was the only way!" Emma pleaded.

"It was the only way what, that you could ruin my life! My marriage!" Sean yelled furiously.

"Sean, wait hear me out!" Emma sounded desperate, but no matter how desperate she was, Sean wasn't going to give in.

"Hear you out! Emma, you've just ruined everything? What do you expect me to do, just leave Ellie and say, 'Wow, I've got a family with you now, Em, let's skip off into the sun set with each other!' is that what you think in going to happen?" Sean exploded.

"No, I just—I need you, Sean. I don't want Ellie to have, because I need you more! We've been through too much together for me to let you go! I love you, Sean," Emma was now in tears over this whole situation.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. I love Ellie way too much to get involved with you again. I'll send child support and what have you, but I can't get involved with you again, I can't break Ellie's heart again."

"But, Sean—" Emma had no time to profess anything else to Sean, because he hung up.

Sittin' here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out
When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth
Said it ain't gon' be easy
But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'
Be a man and get it over with (over with)

Sean must have sat there for what felt like eternity thinking everything over that had just happened. How was he going to tell this to this Ellie? I mean, exactly how do you tell your wife that on your last fling with your mistress that she lied to you about taking the Pill and now's she pregnant? And when was going to tell her? He couldn't wait till Emma called him at the hospital, some six months from now to say she had had the baby.

That's when he decided he needed to stop thinking and do it. Just come out and tell Ellie not matter what the consequences—after all she had forgiven him once, why couldn't she do it again?

I'm ridin' in my whip
Racin' to her place
Talkin' to myself
Preparin' to tell her to her face

Arriving at the news station where Ellie worked as a producer, Sean found that all the ways to Ellie that he rehearsed were sinking into the pits of his stomach, along with his heart. He was more nervous than he could have ever imagined, he didn't want to break Ellie's heart, but he had to tell her. He had to get it over with.

"Hi, um, is Eleanor Nash-Cameron available right now." Sean asked, in a quavering voice.

"Oh, hold one minute, Mr. Cameron, I'll see if she's available." The receptionist scooted off to fill his request.

What if she hates me? Will she ever speak to me again? Thoughts much like this ran through Sean's head as he peered through Ellie's office window. She looked so beautiful; her long, curled auburn hair hanging down to her shoulders with grace, her quarter-sleeve black shirt, and a pair of straight grey slacks with black pumps. It was a beautiful look on her, but anything was beautiful on her—his wife, his first true love. The receptionist snapped him from his thoughts.

"Mr. Cameron," she said gently, "your wife will see you now."

She opened up the door and didn't want to come near me
I said "one second baby please hear me"

Before he could turn the knob, Ellie snapped the door open, a subtly furious look in her eyes. He attempted, to lean forward and kiss her, but she didn't allow—in fact, she took a whole step back from him.

"Ellie, baby, there is something—" Sean started off, trying to get right to chase.

"Sean Hope Cameron, don't you dare." Ellie growled in a low, upset voice.

"But, Ellie, sweetheart, please hear me out," Sean pleaded.

She must know, he thought desperately, she has to know.

"Hear you out? Sean, I know! Emma called me a half hour ago, she told me everything! How could you!" Ellie was on the verge of tears by now.

"Eleanor, this is not my fault!" Sean nearly yelled; he was desperate to make her believe him not Emma.

"Yeah, and I suppose Little Miss Homewrecker is asexual and she decide to give her sprout your last name!" Ellie shouted.

"She lied to me, Ellie; she told me she was on the Pill when she wasn't!" Sean defended heatedly.

"Yeah right, Sean! I just hope you're happy because now you'll have two children to pay child support to!" she shouted.

"Ellie, I—" Sean was about to say something else when her words registered in his head.

Two children? Did Ellie just say two children? That means that she was…

"Ellie, are you pregnant?" Sean murmured weakly.

"Yes, Sean, I'm pregnant." Ellie confirmed, turning away from him and facing the window that exposed the downtown Toronto area.

Under normal circumstances, he would have been happy, but this was suddenly a huge weight being pressed to his chest. Now, along with his child with Emma, he had another with Ellie. How did his life manage to spin out of control in only a few hours?

"Ellie, I—"

"Don't say anything to me Sean. Just get out, leave." Ellie murmured.

"Come on, Eleanor," Sean pleaded.

"Leave, Sean!" she demanded, through her tears.

"Fine, I'm going." Sean conceded, feeling his own tears prick at the back of his eyes, "I'm sorry, Ellie, I'm sorry."

Ellie said nothing as Sean backed out of her office slowly and initially out of her life for good.

Twelve and a half months later…

Bouncing her six month old son, Tyler Nash-Cameron, on her hip in an attempt to get her to stop crying, Ellie walked into her three bedroom apartment, tired from a long night with Tyler and an even longer day at work. With his reddish-brown hair and her jade green eyes, Tyler looked exactly like Sean.

Everything about little Tyler was Sean, his smile, his laugh, and even the way he got angry. Sometimes, Ellie hated to wake up and see her ex-husband in her son, but it was just something she had to deal with—and besides, Tyler was just too beautiful and sweet not to love.

She sat Tyler in his playpen, and went to check her messages, a daily routine every day after work. The blinking light on the machine told her she had a message, so she pressed play and got comfortable while she listened.

But, she wasn't even able to slip out of her pantyhose before she froze. The voice echoing through her empty apartment was the only and only voice that made her heart beat slower and faster at the same time. It was the voice of Sean Cameron.

He sounded tearful, and near his wits end, and Ellie's hand immediately found her throat in an attempt to keep from crying.

"Eleanor, its Sean. Please, don't cut this off before you hear me out. I'm calling to tell you I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for everything I've ever done to you concerning Emma, and the affair, and Andrew, my other son. It was wrong of me to not worship you like you truly deserved to me worshiped and for that I hate myself. All I'm saying is, I miss you, need you, and am still in love with you.

"I know you haven't given me that chance to redeem myself or be a real father to Tyler, but I'm telling you now that I want to be. About a month after Andrew was born, Emma disappeared. Literally. No one, not even her mom or stepdad have been able to find her to I'm left to raise Andrew by myself, and I don't want to do that. I want the chance to be a real family with you, Tyler, and if you'll allow it, Andrew. Ellie, I don't want to lose you forever. So, please, when you get this message, please, just, just call me back. I-I love you."

From his playpen, as the message went off, Tyler reached up and giggled, "Dada!"

"Yes, baby, Daddy." Ellie said, tears shining her eyes.

She picked up the phone, and when the line was answered, it was the voice she'd been longing to hear for twelve, long months.

"Ellie?" Sean said hopefully.

"Yes, Sean, it's me. I got your message." Ellie smiled.

"Ellie, before you go on, I just wanted to say that this by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do, to tell you, the woman I love, that I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know anymore. I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this and hopefully you'll give me another chance this ain't about my career, this ain't about my life, it's about us. Please forgive me." Sean whispered tearfully.

A baby cried in the background, loud, horrible wails, and Ellie figured that that must be Andrew, the baby Sean had with Emma. Suddenly, she felt for them. The both of them. She suddenly didn't care that Andrew was Emma's baby—from now on, they would be their own family, whether Andrew came from her or not. She already loved Andrew as if he were her own.

"I'll forgive you, Sean. I'll forgive you for everything, but on one condition."

"Anything," Sean replied breathlessly.

"You have to come over, bring Andrew, and we have to talk. No more secrets, no more lies, no more covering up to save the others feelings. I want you to confess everything." Ellie positioned.

"Of course. I wouldn't have things any other way," Sean finally broke down crying, his tears a solid release for everything that had happened in the last two years.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and Andrew Cameron and Tyler Nash-Cameron. I don't even own the song, it belongs to the unbelievably, indescribably sexy Usher Raymond.

That was simply beautiful, wasn't it? I think this is my best song fic ever…and don't mind the bridge, but I had to put it like that so it wouldn't left out, so don't think it's you if it doesn't completely make sense. I hope this pleased all you Sellie fans. Sigh, chapter one of the "The Trouble With Love Is". If you read my profile, you'll see why this is happening.