Disclaimer: Don't own.

"Cancelled!" I snarled, loading my plate with my fourth helping of yet more mutton. Laura nodded sympathetically across the table that we had lugged outside to the balcony. Dragging the table - which was not very large to begin with - was a good deal harder than it should have been, but we both knew that if we had had to fight a few Orcs, we probably could have handled them easily. Depending on the writers, Sues were often very skilled in weaponry.

"It is definitely not a coincidence," Laura added, loading her fifth slab of meat onto her plate and, with a rather obvious look of disgust, digging in. We were attempting to gain back our normal weight - though both of us were quite happy with the bodies we had unnaturally achieved, we had decided to try to beat the system and see if we could un-Sue ourselves. It was just wigging us out, is all.

All we were succeeding in was making ourselves extremely sick of mutton. Or any other meat for that matter.

Laura shoved her plate away angrily. "I think I'm gonna hurl," she said. I pushed my plate away too, just in case. "This is too unreal," I said, folding my hands over my stomach, which felt full but was still in its odd minute size. Laura just tugged absently on her hair.

"D'you realize that weird things have been happening less and less?" I asked, smoothing my skirts as I stood up to go back into our quarters. I pulled out a nightgown and went to stand behind my screen, changing leisurely and pulling on a light blue silk robe. Laura was standing by the balcony now and looking down, holding a delicate white flower that she had picked from the vines that decorated the marble railing. The forest floor was a good distance below us, but she seemed to be staring out at something anyway.

"What weird things?"

"Oh, I don't know. Elizabeth Swann falling out of the sky and getting impaled on some random branch springs to mind; the fact that Legolas seems to have forgotten we told him we were 'goddesses of Americien' as soon as we saw him," I said, joining her. She was looking at the twins, who were having an archery contest in the midst of the dark forest. The moon was hiding behind some clouds tonight, else it was not visible from our rooms.

"That is strange," she said, but it was distant that I knew she wasn't really listening. I turned to her and saw that the necklace I had found in my bag upon falling into Middle Earth was glowing. At first it seemed like a dull glow, hardly noticeable and had the moon been out I wouldn't have been able to see it at all, but I saw nonetheless. I looked at Laura's face; her eyebrows were drawn in concentration as she looked back and forth from Elladan to Elrohir. I stared, and realized what she was thinking even without her voice echoing in my head.

I don't know who to choose. Valar, what shall I do? I do not want to hurt either one of them…I reached out quickly and grabbed the necklace off her neck, its clasp breaking against her neck as a pulled.

"Tampa! Tanya arwa!1," Laura yelled angrily, holding her hand out for the necklace. "Dina2 Lothuviel. Laura. Listen to me. Your necklace was glowing -"

"So WHAT!"

"It was glowing at the exact moment you were pondering over which twin to choose, Laura! And -" I grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the mirror. "Look at your hair! Its short, but its perfectly even. Not even the keenest blade could do that. Listen to me!" I yelped, yanking off my necklace as well and seeing its glow fade. "Keenest blade," I sneered, throwing both the necklaces into the drawer of the dresser.

Laura was still glaring at me, but it was halfhearted now. "Think, Laura. Was my necklace glowing earlier? When I tried to convince you that it was no big deal that we were turning into Sues?" I asked, trying to piece things together in my mind. Laura huffed away to pull on her nightgown.

"I can't remember," she said sullenly, sitting down gracefully on her bed. I paced back in forth in front of her, and then paced some more over to the balcony, closing the doors. The nights in Mirkwood were often chilly, especially when the moon was hidden.

"Why?" she scoffed. "Do you think the necklaces are what's turning us into Mary Sues?" Then she blinked and looked up at me. "The necklaces!" she said breathlessly. I nodded. "The necklaces." I paused. "How bloody cliché! Who's writing this crap?" I asked the ceiling. Laura muttered her agreement.

"Which once again leads me to ask what the hell are we going to do?" I said, sitting on my own bed and picking up some embroidery, stitching in silence as Laura and I began to think.

"First off, you're going to stop that," Laura said, gesturing to the embroidery. I stifled a gasp and chucked it across the room. "Good plan," I said, lighting the candle that stood on the nightstand separating my large four poster bed from Laura's. "Any ideas?" she asked, flopping back (but gracefully so) to stare up at the silky sheer fabric that hung as her canopy. I studied the intricate carving of the wood on each post of my bed, running my fingers over the leaves and flowers and vines that decorated it. I moved to sit on my bed and braided my hair back mindlessly. I then realized how Elf-like the braid must have looked and undid it, settling for two plain pigtails instead.

"Well, we obviously can't wear those necklaces any more. They only add to our total transformation…"

"I sense a 'but' coming," Laura said, turning on her side and playing with the crystal statues that were placed on our night table, never to collect dust in this perfect alternate universe. Unless we as perfect little elf-maids were called upon to dust furniture, which we wouldn't be, as we were the honored guests of Prince Legolas.

"But somehow I have the feeling that not wearing the necklaces won't stop us from turning into Mary Sues," I answered glumly. "Why do you say that?" she asked. "Remember that freaky shiny stuff that fell on us when Elladan and Elrohir were leading us down to meet Thranduil?" I asked. Part of me was still wondering why I even wanted to keep from turning into a Mary Sue.

"Me too," Laura said, agreeing with me. I sighed and slid under the covers. "Because, if we turn into Sues then we stop being…well, us. And that means that all the courtship and petty feelings -"

"And eventually marriage?"

" - with, or to, Legolas or Elladan or Elrohir is all fake," I finished. Laura bit her lip thoughtfully. "Maybe not. I mean, we'd still be here…"

"Would we?" I pointed. "You're right. Where would we go? Back in regular Earth, Mary Sues don't exist naturally, not without a lot of work. And we do have faults…"

"Minimal as they are," I teased.

"Very true," she grinned. "But us…the crazy Lord-of-the-Rings-Goddesses-of-Orlyism Luna and Tuna…where would we go?"

"That's a scary thought," I said, shuddering. "Not only that…but we fell here. What the hell's going on back at regular Earth?" We fell silent, neither of us wanting to fathom what could be going on. Our parents could think we were kidnapped, they could be falling apart. They could think that we ran away and they could be blaming themselves. They could even think we'd been killed. Laura shivered, and I knew that she was listening to my thoughts, or thinking along the same lines.

"They never write about that in the fanfics," she said quietly. I blinked. "Laura, you're a genius!"

"I know."

"Shaddup! You are! Remember what Thranduil said? That we are just ' yet another -"

"pair of maidens fallen from the sky!' That prick," she grumbled. "Exactly. If something like this has happened before…"

"We just have to find out to whom, when, and where. Presumably here," Laura said, determined. "And what happened to them," I added. "And what happened to them," she nodded. We shuddered again.

"Well, they must have records of it. A library?" I suggested. "Tomorrow," Laura said, yawning. I rolled over to blow out the candle, and, still stuffed with mutton, we both fell asleep.

A/N: Another update. I'm makin' it up to you guys. Review, please.

1. Stop! That hurts!

2. Be silent.