Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Disney.
Hold Dear the Studious and Invariant III
Apology
Doppler's Point of View
I followed the captain to the left side of the bridge where another door was located.
"I will only be showing you once, so pay attention," she said, opening the wooden entrance. I nodded and for some reason or another she frowned, leaving her hand on the brass doorknob. "If you don't mind Doctor, I prefer a more concrete response rather than a-," she said, nodding her head as to show what she meant.
"Yes, Captain," I replied, too humiliated to actually glare at her, let alone fight back.
"Thank you."
The felinid walked through the doorway with me close behind. I noted how small the hallway we just entered was and felt just a tad claustrophobic, being accustomed to my large home. We passed a few doors and ended up in front of a downward staircase. She began to descend, but I stood, staring down from the top of the stair well. It wasn't that I was afraid of going down into the darker hall but I was more wary of the strange creaking and moaning of the ship's floor boards and walls. Plus, to add onto my vacillation, I was alone with the very formidable and very attractive . . . um assertive captain of the vessel; descending a dark set of stairs to who knew where. I was just a bit uncomfortable with the idea. Then she stopped at the foot of the stairs and glanced up at me when she noticed I wasn't following.
"Are you coming, Doctor?" she asked, raising her left eyebrow at me.
"Yes, yes of course," I declared quickly, feeling a bit foolish for just standing there. I followed and we were again on our way. However, without even signally, she stopped, which in turn, I ran into her. Before I had time to access the situation, she was already glaring me down for rubbing some of the green goo on her uniform.
"In the future Doctor, you might want to mind where you're wobbling," she said sternly. How was I to know you would stop so quickly!
"Captain, I didn't . . ."
"Here is your cabin. Your belongings, including the items you sent to the ship before your arrival, are inside. Now if you don't mind, I too must clean up. Dinner will be ready by noon. Good day, Doctor," she stated and turned on her heel to leave. I hadn't even finished a thought before she was up the stairs and out of nose shot. Sighing, I opened the door that she had left me at and found the room to be . . . tiny. Compared to my house, this was like one of my larger closets. In fact, it reminded me of my college days, living in my small dorm room with a roommate or two. My things were still in their packing crates next to the wall and my carry- ons where just placed in the middle of the room. It wasn't that it was too small, I guess. It was more cramped than anything. A desk was next to the window along with a bed. To my left was a dresser of some sort and to my right another door.
"That must be the washroom," I said aloud, closing the room door behind me. As I walked over to the other door, I began slipping out of my suit. It was a bit much anyway, I suppose. I opened the door to be confronted with a rather small sanitary room. The tub was only four feet away from the door and to my left and right was the sink and the convenience. Not bothering to close the door on such a confined space, I washed up and unfortunately began buffing up my suit. Who was I kidding? I might as well admit it to myself, you're a dolt Delbert. Always have been and always will be. Of course I could try and make up for it by staying out of sight and out of the way. This room is small, but I'm sure I'll become use to it.
"Ah there we go," I said once the mucus was finally wiped away from my expensive wardrobe. After that, I began the task of taking my belongings out of their boxes and placing them in respectful places. As I started to place books on top of the desk I couldn't help but wonder about the security of my home. Bringing out my tools and devices reminded me of the house whence it came and how safe it would be. Was the water bills and energy payments met and would it be safe from fire, flood, or worse; juvenile delinquents? Of course I wasn't worried about the house; I was really worried about Sarah. In the rush of getting to the adventure I unintentionally forgot about what my friend was going through. Should I have left her alone after such a horrible experience? Should I be taking Jim away from her? I mean, we all know that her son is all she has left and that she was inclined to worry fruitlessly about him. Then again we did go over these with her and she still allowed us to go.
"Why in the blue conflagrations am I thinking about this," I whispered to myself. However my mind wouldn't leave the topic alone, not even to think about the task at hand. I wonder if she'll be all right in that cluttered house of mine. I really should have looked into hiring a cleaning service. Of course, had I known that I'd be allowing a guest to stay at my home without me being there I would have gone through a lot of preparation. I just hope she doesn't go into the basement, eh. After unpacking and getting things out of the walking area at least, I went to lie down, hoping to take a nice nap, before lunch. What I found though was that the bed was incredibly smaller than I had originally thought and I ended up hitting my head on the back board. Growling slightly, I moved down a ways only to find that if I did so, my feet would hang off the other end. This was certainly going to be a problem, just like everything else on this ship.
"Ouch!"
I quickly put my hand to the area of pain. I could feel the dull ache running up my side causing me to flinch, just a little. I lifted that portion of my shirt to find a decent sized black and blue bruise on the right part of my stomach. Tender from all my class A falls on deck, no doubt. Ding. Ding. I heard a bell.
"Mealtime!" I heard a voice shout from above me. Glancing at the clock I brought from home, it was twelve already.
"Where does the time go," I half panicked, not wanting to be late. Then again, from what I saw this morning of the cook's cooking, I might want to second guess getting lunch. However, my stomach grumbled in complaint, wanting more than just the quick breakfast meal I had on the ferry ride to the port.
"Alright, I'm going," I said to no one, heading out to the staircase. The smell of whatever was cooking was wafting though the air. Even down here in the hallway I could pick out most of the ingredients. Unfortunately, I also smelt the infamous bonzabeast as well.
"Doctor Doppler."
"Ahh," I yelped as my name was spoken in the still atmosphere.
"I didn't mean to alarm you."
It was only Mr. Arrow.
"No, that's alright. I'm fine," I said after regaining movement of my vocal chords.
"The Captain requested I come get you for lunch," he said from his spot at the top of the stairs.
"Yes, thank you. I was just coming," I said, feeling a bit insulted that I was being fetched for an appointment I could very well keep for myself. I climbed up the stairs and out of the second hall to the door that led out to the bridge. Mr. Arrow walked ahead, his heavy steps echoing throughout the boards under my feet.
"Doctor, would you like . . ." he began before I politely interrupted.
"That is all right, I know where the galley is, you showed me this morning," I finished, feeling again a bit insulted that . . .
"I was asking whether you'd like to dine with the Captain and myself or alone," he said plainly.
"Oh, um thank you. Yes, yes I would, thank you, eat with the Captain and myself . . . I mean you," I stuttered, feeling the heat of my mistake creeping up my neck. Luckily, I only received an agitated glance instead of a vexed glare from the first officer. Maybe it would be in my best interest to remain quiet for the rest of our short walk to . . . the stateroom? Instead of going to the galley he headed for the captain's quarters. I hesitated to follow, not knowing whether he wanted me to follow him at all. When the cragorian was about five steps ahead of me, I decided to trail after him figuring I couldn't make anymore a fool out of myself then I had done already. Being he didn't object to my accompaniment, it was safe to assume I chose the correct line of action. When we reached the door, he opened it up and allowed me to walk in first.
"This way Doctor," Mr. Arrow said as he came in after me; shutting the door and walking to another door across the way. When he opened this door however, three things stood out at once: the smell of stew, the lay out of the room, and the Captain herself. The food was arranged on a small dinning table in the middle of the room, with four wooden chairs set around it or anchored around it. The room itself reminded me of a nice sitting area I had seen in a painting once. Everything was bathed in a warm light; from the chestnut dresser, to the oak bed; toward the desk made of the same material as the stateroom's desk. It was definitely better than the small quarters I was given, but then again I figured that the captain would have a better area of rest then the crew, as it should be.
"Ah, Doctor. I see you chose to join us," the Captain said, hopefully in a better mood than when I last saw her. She had taken off her hat and was now standing next to the window, with her head slightly turned toward us.
"Yes, I suppose," I affirmed. She then turned around and began walking to the table. From behind me, Mr. Arrow moved out and headed to the table as well.
"Are you going to sit, or shall we bring the food over to where you stand," the Captain said unceremoniously. I quickly made my way over and chose a seat that was across from the two of them. With the bowls of bonzabeast stew already before us, I gingerly picked up my spoon with my left and tucked my napkin under my chin. However, when I looked up, I noticed the both of them had their heads bowed. Oh gracious, their giving grace! I rapidly put down my spoon and bowed my head as well only to realize they were done blessing the food and staring at me. Smiling sheepishly, I said Amen to my quick prayer.
"Well, Doctor, how have you found your quarters?" Mr. Arrow asked, catching me off guard.
"Undersized . . . um understandingly condensed . . . I mean considerable. It's understandingly considerable for a ship like this," I bumbled. I could feel my face turning red as the Captain glanced at me with her sharp, green eyes. Then she turned to Mr. Arrow, before looking back at me. With a smirk in her eyes, she began to speak.
"Well then Doctor, I hope you enjoy the cooking then."
The way she said it, I couldn't tell whether she was being serious or teasing me somehow.
"Um, I'm sure I'll become accustomed to it," I replied, again lifting my spoon. I wonder if Mr. Arrow told her about my encounter in the galley with the stew beforehand?
"I hope so. And before I forget, remember to take your etherium sickness medication after eating. I do hope you brought some with you."
"Yes I did . . ."
"Good . . ."
"Wait I wasn't finished," I spouted off without thinking. I was use to getting my full thought out, but every time I was in the presence of this woman I could barely finish a sentence.
"Very well, continue," she stated, dryly, as if it were the most tedious task in the universe. Finally, I was going to be able to talk, but there was a problem . . .
"I forgot what I was going to say," I breathed aloud in frustration. Mr. Arrow chuckled a bit before taking a bite of the stew.
"All right then, as I was saying. Mr. Arrow . . ." The Captain began conversing with her first officer on a number of things concerning the ship. I sat quietly, stirring my broth around and sighing. This just couldn't be happening. I was embarrassed, angry, and depressed all at once, not to mention hungry. It was only the first day and I was already on bad or funny terms with all. I guess I really can look forward to spending most of my time in my cabin.
"Are you finished, Doctor?" I looked up to see the Captain staring at me with critical eyes. I then looked down to my untouched stew and back up to nod.
"Fine then. If you'd like, Doctor you can also join us up on the bridge," she said in an authoritative tone. I was a bit surprised that they wanted me to still be seen, let alone join them once again.
"Really? . . . I mean, of course, Captain," I said with a slight smile.
Amelia's Point of View
"Yes, really . . . I mean, of course, Doctor," I mocked, not deliberately trying to. He stared back at me, obviously a little put off by my return. However, it wasn't my fault that he was so easy to deride. I stood up from my place at the table as so did Arrow, but our financier almost knocked the bowl off the table as he shot up.
"Sorry," he said, quickly grabbing a napkin and wiping up the bit of broth that had sloshed out. Of all the people who could have found that map it had to be a teenager and a cumbersome canine. I swear, it was like watching a child. Usually the people I hired out to at least had the arrogance to research and learn proper customs on board a ship, along with grace, so as not to be made a fool of. Ha, this doctor certainly missed out on that practice. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Mister Arrow had the same sentiment as he looked toward the heavens.
"That's all right, Doctor. Now if you're done fussing about spilled stew, lets move along," I voiced, walking through my open quarter's door and out into my stateroom. As the gentlemen followed, I walked over to my desk and sat down in my chair. I looked down at the maps and charts that were atop it, before turning back up. The doctor seemed to feel awkward as he kept behind Arrow a ways, and wrung his hands together.
"If you'd like, Doctor, you can wait outside," I said plainly.
"Yes, Captain," he said, apparently happy to get out of the room as he made his way to the door. When he had exited, closing the door behind him, Arrow began to laugh quietly.
"I don't see anything funny," I smiled.
"I'm sorry Captain, but he's such an odd fellow," he chuckled.
"Odd is right, but still, it's horrible to laugh at the man behind his back," I said, mock seriously.
"Oh and what about you teasing him bold faced, Captain," he answered back in fictitious defense.
"I guess we're both guilty, but you must admit, it was rather amusing."
"Yes, I admit."
"Well we better get up there. As fun as this may be we have a ship to run," I addressed, grabbing my hat off the desk and placing it on my head.
"Yes, Captain. I wouldn't want to miss any more opportunities to laugh at our guest," he said as he made his way to the door. I smiled once more before quickly gaining my composure. As we exited and the warm afternoon air breezed past the both of us, I began to wonder about my navel days. It must have been at least five years ago that I last set foot on a navel vessel and longer still since I was engaged in battle. To be aboard such a calm and tranquil ship was still strangely new to me each time I set sail on the Legacy. It seemed like only yesterday I was graduating from the Academy as top of my class with honors and given the title of captain. 'The Glory Days' as my father would put it and he was absolutely right. After the ceremonies, the parties and time off, it was straight into the navy. Hard work, perseverance, training and skill got me to high-ranking and high respect, along with rewards and recognition. However, I'm glad that I got out of there when I did. One thing the navy was lacking and that was the freedom of a captain to make decisions on their own, rather than shuffling through the system and hoping some lazy, tired bureaucrat would just glance at the paperwork and then pass it through with careless ritual. At least now I had control over what happens to my ship and crew without being an agent or puppet for war.
As I reached the bridge I noticed the doctor quite timidly peering over the railing of the bridge as if there would be a repeat of this mornings events. I smiled inwardly at the poor man before turning to the helmsman.
"Mr. Turnbuckle. In about five kilometers we will still be heading South by Southwest but at 3-1-0-0," I directed.
"Yes, Captain," he said. For the better half of the afternoon we rode smoothly along and made it to the Magellanic current without fault. As I thought about how long it would take to reach the Coral Galaxy, it came to my attention that I hadn't had enough time to go over the map. In fact I didn't even have the chance to open it.
"Doctor, come with me please," I said as I gestured for him to do so, "Arrow, we will be back in a moment."
"Of course, Captain."
I walked back to my stateroom with the doctor in tow. I couldn't believe I forgot to check the map earlier. Things like that hardly ever slip my mind.
"Whoa, ahh," I heard the doctor trip over something and remembered that I had a lot of things on my mind to deal with then to worry about where we were going.
"Are you all right, Doctor?"
"Yes, I'm fine," he said, quickly raising up and following. When we were safely locked in my cabin I addressed him on the matter.
"Doctor, we need to have a look at this treasure map you found."
Doppler's Point of View
'A look at the treasure map.' Was she joking? A few hours ago she acted as if no one but her could even think about the map, let alone look at it.
"You want me to look at it?" I asked simply, not expecting an answer. Instead she turned to me from her task of opening the cabinet and stared at me as if I had grown a second head.
"You're an astrophysicist, are you not?"
"Yes, but . . ."
"Then quit asking such fruitless questions," she stated pulling the map from inside her case. Inspecting it with her keen eyes, for a moment, she turned her sharp, inquiring gaze on me. "How do you open it," she questioned rotating the sphere in her hand.
I feared this question in two ways. One, that if I said I didn't know exactly how to open it, she would bombard me with insults of my intelligence, or two, that I try and remember how Jim showed me and pray with all my might that the confounded thing would open for me. With extreme forethought or with uttermost stupidity I chose the latter.
"Well, you see, it's quite tricky," I said holding out what I wished was a firm steady hand, but instead was slightly shaking under the pressure of my decision. With an eyebrow raised she handed it to me. "Thank you," I said, turning the map over in my hand. I examined it closely, pretending to look as if I was trying to remember the difficult combination to the round device. Of course, I knew I had no idea how to open it. What was I thinking?
"You know, maybe we should get Jim," I said, hoping that the request wouldn't seem so odd. No such luck.
"Why? I'm sure Mr. Hawkins is quite busy by now and I don't see what a youth has to do with the navigation of this ship," she stated dryly.
"Well, you see, he can . . . that is to say he has a better knack at opening this device."
She sighed heavily and her demeanor became more irritated. I could see that I was walking a thin line and was about to correct it when she interrupted.
"Fine then. I'll have the teenager brought in."
"That's not really necessary," I said quietly, not really wanting her to hear me.
"And why not?" She obviously could hear better then I thought.
"Well, before we left, the lad helped me with opening the map and I got a chance to study it. I have the charts, coordinates and notes if you'd like them or if . . ."
"Doctor, it would be most helpful if you gave me all information pertaining to this voyage. I still would like to be able to open the map on my own accord, thank you," she responded curtly. There was no reason to be rude about it.
"Of course, Captain. Would you like me to go fetch him for you?" I retorted without thinking. Before I had time to register what I had just said, she burned through me with her glare and took the map from my grasp.
"If you insist Doctor, with the highest regard as possible, Fetch!" she ordered, leaving absolutely no room for objection. I quickly headed to the door and tried to open it only to find it locked. I turned the lock and then exited, feeling the flush of heat filling my cheeks. I hate this woman! Err. Hate is a strong word. I just wish that we had a more gentle or at least polite Captain. I walked the deck looking for Jim and finally found him mopping the front part of the boat.
"Jim, the Captain needs you," I proclaimed as I came up to him. Seemingly happy to place the mop and bucket down he followed me back to the stateroom. Upon arrival, we noticed that Mr. Arrow was standing inside the room as well as the Captain.
"Ah, here we are," she said, waving us into the room. The strange thing was she did not seem angry anymore, which was a relief. After Jim and I had stepped in, Mr. Arrow closed and locked the door behind us.
"Mr. Hawkins, the Doctor informs me that you know how to open this map," the Captain said as she came over to Jim with the device in hand.
"Yes . . . ma'am," he replied, giving her a skeptical look.
"If you will, show me how to open it," she commanded, handing the sphere to him. Jim took it, but didn't start work on it right away. Instead he gave the captain a rather sharp gaze and clasped the map tightly in his hands. Oh Please Jim, this is not a time to be defiant.
"Alright, ma'am," he stated as he quickly moved his fingers along the surface and pressed down on nods and spun it open. Then just as before, the map revealed itself, engulfing the room in charts and patterns. I heard the surprised gasps from both the Captain and first officer and couldn't help but smile to myself. I decided to flex my muscles in this area, so to speak.
Amelia's Point of View
"As you can see, Captain, this is a very impressive map that has everything in accurate proportions from the size of the planets to the distance between galaxies," the doctor informed us. For someone who didn't even know how to open the map, he seemed quite proud of himself as he straightened up and raised the volume of his voice. "And it also gives a direct course to Treasure . . . I mean our destination," he hesitated, glancing over at me, as if seeking approval to breath further. I waved my hand for him to continue and he gladly obliged by touching his index finger to what looked like a miniature scale etherium current; the one we were traveling to be precise. The instant he did so, the entire map began to move about us. I had to admit that this certainly was impressive. Even with years of experience with several types of navigational equipment, this device surpassed them all by far. Of course, if it is a map to an undiscovered planet, it would be a bit different from our own technology, but this seemed to be more advanced then ours. After passing respective landmarks that the doctor insisted upon naming, we came upon . . .
"Treasure Planet," I heard Arrow say from behind me. Indeed it was. That was it, the loot of a thousand worlds hovering over our heads. Again, however I wanted to stress the fact that we needed to keep it secret. No telling what would happen if news like this made it to the ears of this crew. I have heard plenty of horror stories of crews turning against their captains when there was any kind of property, power, or treasure involved. It usually ended in the stranding of the captain and loyal shipmates or their deaths. That was one thing I did not have to worry about in the navy, unless you wanted to be court martialed.
"Gentlemen as I have said before, none of this most leave this room. Not a word to anyone," I said, particularly looking at the Canid beside me. The good doctor nodded, while the youth closed the map. I stretched my hand out to the teenager and he willing placed the sphere in my hand.
"Thank you, Mr. Hawkins, you're dismissed," I said, walking over to my arms cabinet to lock up the map. He sighed and left without incident, though he did manage to mumble a forced 'you're welcome'. As I closed my cabinet door, I noticed that Mr. Arrow was about to leave as well.
"Good bye Arrow, thank you for your assistance," I smiled. He had realized that I was upset and came in to help me relax.
"You're welcome, Captain, and remember sometimes it's better to remain at ease then at attention," he smiled back before disappearing through the door. Even though the doctor may have not understood, I knew what Arrow meant. And he was right; I sometimes needed to take it slow and easy instead of quick and strict. What would I do without Arrow?
"Um, Captain . . ."
The reason why I had gotten upset in the first place was still in the room however. He probably had a silly question about who knows what now.
"Yes, Doctor."
"Oh, um do you still want me to bring you those charts I drew out," he asked timidly. I turned around, a bit shocked. The last thing I expected was for him to want to finish a request at the moment. I looked into his eyes trying to find the sarcasm, or mean spirit that he must have meant, but found none. Instead he was earnestly looking for the answer to his question.
"If you'd like, Doctor," I said simply.
"Of course, I'll be right back."
He quickly left, leaving me to myself. Mr. Arrow said he seemed like an odd fellow, but the real definition of odd was different. Doctor Doppler did appear to be different from most. Oh well, enough of that. I needed to finish a list of endless tasks that seemed to come with the first week of departure, but first things first. I needed to wait for the doctor, so I walked over and sat down at my desk to do so. As I wait, I might as well catch up on some reading. I pulled out my desk drawer and retrieved my Bible. It wasn't often I got the chance to read it while on a voyage, being everything else is usually pulling for my attention, but when the chance comes, I take it. Now Arrow said I should read, mmm, yes here it is 1 Corinthians 13. It figures Arrow would want me to read this, Love. Still, it is written by Paul, my personal favorite. A man who took charge, and wasn't afraid to stand up for what was right. Of course the man had a way of making one see their faults and facing them. By verse four I was feeling the conviction already.
'Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails,' I read in my thoughts. I had acted quite rudely to that poor academic; I didn't even give him a chance. He has, after all, not tried to 'imply' things with me, as so many usually do. Maybe I should at least try and be polite with him.
Just then, a well-mannered knock came to the door and I directed them to come in. It was the astrophysicist, carrying a number of scrolls and papers with him, along with a compass, protractor, and a pencil. He looked positively foolish, balancing everything in something close to a pyramid shape. However, I was going to keep this to myself.
"Um yes, Captain, I brought the coordinates that I mapped out before the um well when I was still at home actually."
"Thank you, Doctor, just place them on my desk," I instructed as I placed my Bible back in its drawer and raised up prepared to leave. I had to check the engines and rope for the main sails, before making sure we would stay clear of the Montressor asteroid belt . . .
"Um, but I made a mistake on one of the calculations. I noticed it when we opened the map again. I was hoping to correct it," he said, happily placing the charts and tools on my desk. He then turned to me with a smile. 'What does he want me to do about it?' I asked myself. He looked to me with some confusion, I could tell, but I was waiting for him to explain himself. As we stood in a short silence, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I guess he wants me to help him out.
"Fine Doctor, what needs correcting," I asked finally. He relaxed a bit and turned back to his papers.
"Well I noticed that the trip is going to take longer than I had originally calculated. If we go on the course we are now, our food, or um supplies might run short," he said, taking his pencil and erasing the chicken scratch he had written down.
"Thank you very much Doctor, though any ship's captain knows to wager time to be over due and plans docking points along the way, this will prove to be most helpful," I said, almost sarcastically. He must not know about refueling stations, but then again he didn't even know about basic launch procedure.
"Oh, well alright then," he said timidly, shifting his weight from one side to the other.
"You know, Doctor, I have something for you," I said briskly. The poor man needed help and I supposed I should put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. I had a book about sailing and the like and I imagine being kind is worth more at the moment then being busy. I walked back to my quarters and gestured for the doctor to follow me. When we reached my bookshelf, I ran my fingertips along the bindings of several books until I came upon the one I wanted. Plucking it from its place, I turned around and handed it to him.
"Thank you," he said on impulse as he accepted the reading material.
"No reason to thank me, you need this, Doctor," I stated walking past him. He followed me back out into the stateroom, before speaking.
"Um, Captain, if you . . . well that is I . . . ," he stuttered. I looked at him incredibly. What was wrong with this man; cumbersome, ignorant, and inarticulate. I felt sorry for his family. Now I could see why the boy was so moody.
"Yes, Doctor," I prompted, hoping he'd get back on track.
"Well, maybe we got off on the wrong foot," he replied quickly. 'Wrong foot, try the wrong mile' I thought. However, maybe he was trying to apologize in an off handed way.
"Continue."
"Um, I know I was a little rude this morning, and I'm sorry," he said.
"Yes, you were on occasion, but you're forgiven," I said bluntly. I knew I sounded cold, but, it didn't matter. He looked at me as if waiting for something more to be said.
"Um don't you want to say something," he replied.
"No," I stated, feeling the guilt of my past slipping into my voice, slightly.
"But . . ."
"Look, Doctor, I thank you for your services, you have my permission to leave," I said. He narrowed his eyes a bit in half anger and half confusion. At first I was ready for him to lose control and start yelling at me, and I would be prepared to combat it, but his anger was diffused quickly.
"Alright, Captain," he said quietly before walking past me to the door. When he left, I felt guilt wash over me. He wanted me to apologize, but how could I when . . . when. 'When you couldn't even apologize to your father' my subconscious finished for me. I sighed quietly as I sat down to my desk once again.
"It wasn't my fault," I said quietly trying to change the topic of my mind, "even if I was a bit rude, there is no need to apologize. I'm the captain of a ship; I have to be strict, or people will walk all over you, and I am not a doormat."
This seemed to help me forget the past regret and focus on my tasks ahead. However, I knew by evening, when it would be time to turn in, those horrible memories would come back. Blast that bumbling idiot!